『 chapter xxii: HOWEVER LONG FOREVER IS ... 』

JUNE CAN'T REMEMBER A TIME WHERE SHE actually enjoyed someone's attention. Sure, she was living for that shit when it came to dying some pretty-cheerleader but it was nothing compared to being the sole attention of someone who you wanted to spend every waking moment with. June blames the continuous spin of Elvis Presley's can't help falling in love playing the night prior when Jacob had texted her — YOU ALWAYS LOOK BEAUTIFUL BUT WEAR SOMETHING NICE, PICKING YOU UP @ 7 ! x. This was probably their first official date. They had gone to movies and to dinner, sure, they had been going steady for some time now. But June wonders, stupidly and unfairly, if she ever felt this giddy when she was with Mike? It was nothing more than hanging out with a friend when she was with him, sadly. The guy deserved the way Jessica Stanley looks at him for his entire life. It was wrong to compare Mike and Jacob, even more wrong to compare any other of June Swan's short lived flings with various pretty boys. She however, couldn't deny how intimate every moment with Jacob felt. She wasn't as cliche to say that she felt sparks or something because that wasn't a real emotion; she did feel complete though. June knew it was hard to believe, hard to explain. Only sixteen and already believing you're complete. Some adults might laugh in her face if she tried to describe what she felt for Jacob, she'd stay cautious on throwing out the l word, like always, but it was getting there.

So the lovesick sixteen year old spent the morning showering and shaving and dolling herself up with the knowing eyes of her sister and parents following her as she ran around the house like a maniac — an impromptu spa day, painting her toe nails and nails the same pretty salmon color that her dress was. Daphne had bought it for her on her birthday and she had yet to wear it; it was a soft material, it dusts her ankles and the subtle slit at the side was only noticeable when she bent her knee, or moved the fabric to expose it.

June let her dirty blonde hair air dry before she spent half an hour straightening it. She was left clasping a necklace that had a rose gold flower dangling from it, resting on her chest. June would admit her skin wasn't the clearest, so the foundation and other powders certainly helped her out and the rosy lipstick made her features more lively and her cheeks more pink. Combing her lashes with some jet black mascara was the finishing touch. Pretty enough.

—OUTSIDE. x

June felt that last minute adrenaline rush in. Spritzing herself with some fancy perfume Bella had bought her, she stuffed her phone in her small bag and slid into her flats and rushed out of her room. She went down the stairs and saw Patrick Verona with Bella as she dangled some bacon above him.

"Don't tease my son!" June scolded.

Bella looked up and laughed, dropping the bacon and letting the dog eat. She got a full glimpse of her sister and whistled lowly, "Wow, you're looking like a million bucks. Where you off to?"

June blushed, "Really?" Bella nodded enthusiastically. "Jacob's outside. He's taking me ... I don't know, actually, he said to dress nice."

Bella crossed her arms, her smile wide. "Alright." She leaned in before her parents saw them. "Does he have any, you know, precautions—?"

June's eyes widened, "Bella!" She gaped.

Her older sister raised her hands in defense. "You never know, dude!"

"I'll have you know, we have a great time together, without attacking each other like some horny-toads." June hissed.

Bella laughed, "Horny-toads?"

"Shut up," June smiles. "Tell mom and dad I'll be home later, yeah? And call me if anything, you know, moms complaining about her back."

"I would too, if I had a watermelon in my stomach."

June nodded, "True. Okay, love you. Bye."

"Have fun. Safe fun!"

"Oh my god, bye."

June slammed the door behind her and almost fainted like the melodramatic chick she is — Jacob leaned on the Rabbit as he wore a black button up, rolled up at the sleeves with dark jeans and his long hair pulled into one of those buns that she had taught him to do, at the nape of his neck. His pearly white teeth were on display as he looked up from the ground, his eyes taking her in. June walked towards him and he met her half away, his Adam's apple visibly bobbing as he looked at her.

"Hey," June chimes, her voice low.

"There's my girl." Jacob grinned, reaching her cup her face and press a kiss to her. His breath fanned her face, his woodsy scent engulfing her. "You planning on giving me a heart attack? You look beautiful."

June flushed, "Not not beautiful as you."

"Agree to disagree?" Jacob smiles, pulling her towards the passenger side, opening it up for her. "M'lady."

"Oh, I'm living, my boyfriends a gentleman. Chivalry isn't dead!" June winked as she got into the car, Jacob rolling his eyes with a smile as he shut the door and went around to her in the drivers seat.

Jacob drove for a while longer than she expected and it was clear that they weren't going to anywhere in town. They were in the Reservation's territory by now and June turned to see that he was taking a path that she'd never seen before. Jacob finally stopped when they got to a brush filled area, the engine stopped and Jacob, who had his hand intertwined with hers the entire car ride, squeezing her hand to gain her attention. He gestures for her that they're there, wherever there is. June gets out of the car and sees that it's a fenced area, white-picket fence at that, a sorta small backyard type of area. There's a shack looking area that looks like a She-shed of some sorts and there's a pretty wooden gazebo in the middle of it all. There's lanterns around it and the evening air gives the whole atmosphere such a homely feeling, she wonders where the hell they are and if Jacob did this all for them?

"This was my moms." Jacob announces. June looks at him, the vulnerability in his childlike face that softens her.

"Your moms ..." June echoes.

Sarah Black was rarely, if not ever, spoken of. June never pushed and Jacob never offered, only with vague words of He was too young to remember much and it's his sisters who had their mothers passing the hardest toll on. Sarah had been Billy Black's entire world, Daphne told her. Not everyone could get a second chance like Charlie.

"My dad made it for her," Jacob explains. He gestures to the land. "It's not too far from my house. She, um, she loved to paint. When my sisters and I were too noisy, it'd distract her. So my dad made this for her."

"It's beautiful," June says as she steps up onto the gazebo and stays mesmerized by the painting of it. She sees childlike writings of Rachel and another of Becca and then even more childish writing of Jay. "She came often?"

Jacob stuffs his hands in his jean pockets, nodding. "Yeah. She was always here ... I'd run from the house over here. I was always more quite than my sisters." He grins.

June smiles softly, he goes over to her and leads to her to the small shack. It's basically an art room — there's a bed in the corner of it, looking untouched, but June can't help but feel this place looks like a larger version of her room. There's more windows though, and there's a trail of cinnamon in the wood that sends a shiver of content down her back.

"I'd sit right there," He points to the bed. "And my mom would sing some old Quileute song and I'd watch her paint. For hours, sometimes. She'd paint wolves and the beach and a bunch of stuff."

June holds his hand, seeing the dreamy look in his eyes as he remembers. "I'd love to see what she painted."

"It's home, somewhere. I'll show you soon. My dad never comes here anymore." He says, frowning. "I fixed it up since and cut the grass and cleaned the shack here. Just because I knew how much my mom loved it."

"I'm sure she appreciates it," June says earnestly, looking up at him.

"I thought, maybe," Jacob murmurs. "It could be yours?"

June stills. Don't ask this of me. "What?"

"This," He gestures around him. "My dad wouldn't mind. He can't come here without help anyway. Plus, it was meant to be used; I know how good you paint, June, I've seen it." He tells her with a soft smile. "My mom never got to use it for too long, I think it was only a handful of times. It was meant for a forever kind of use."

Don't say yes, don't say yes, you're gonna die, you won't be here forever. You won't have a forever. You're gonna leave him, just like his mom, you're gonna ruin him by dying. Say no! Leave! Run away, you're good at that, don't say yes—

"I don't know what to say ..." June chokes out, looking at him. "You're beautiful, you know that?"

"Not nearly as beautiful as the things you'll create here."

Say no, you're gonna die– "Okay." June smiles, reaching to move her hand on the nape of his neck. Pulling him closer, she murmured, "Thank you. A million times, thank you."

Jacob smiles in their kiss, "Anything for you." They pull away after a moment. He leads her back out of the shack. "Now, for the best part, I know what my girls favorite thing in the word is beside me. The food."

June sees that near the gazebo is a large picnic blanket with a basket and various other foods around it. She sees there's a small case with flowers in them — not just any flower, bellflowers, her favorite, the ones Jacob picked her when they were younger — and she wants to self destruct any second. Jacob claps his hands together and sits down on the blanket, gesturing her to the spot in front of him. June chokes up before she sits down, going over to Jacob and kissing him as he lays them down, him pulling June down as she leans over him. This was the life she hoped her. The inexplicable feelings as Jacob runs his hands through her hair and her hand on his cheek. It's a wonderful life. Even better when they finally pull away and begin eating — Jacob trying to get grapes in his mouth as June tosses them towards him. Even more sweet when she puts frosting from the cupcake they get on his lips and she licks it. Jacob talks about his mom and June talks about her insecurities about being a new sister, how some little life was going to be looking up to her. Jacob assures her, as he always does, and she listens to him, as she always does. They eat until everything's almost gone, the stars show themselves in the night sky, the only thing illuminating the small clearing they're in is the lanterns that hang around the gazebo and the light from the shack.

Jacob gets up and turns the radio in his car stereo on, the soft hum of some indie song playing, a depth story about the night the singer and someone met, how he wants to be taken back to that moment. Jacob pulls her up from the picnic blanket. He leads them towards the gazebo and it's a parallel to the night they danced at Bella's junior prom.

"This was the best first date ever, puppy," June says as she rests her head on his chest. She can hear his heartbeat and it's steady and calming.

"You're best date ever, ocean eyes." Jacob says back.

June smiles up at him, her blue eyes reflecting beautifully in the dimness of the lanterns light. "I am the only the date you've brought here, right?"

Jacob playfully shakes his head, "Oh, no, I've kissed about twenty different girls here. You're twenty one."

June playfully slaps his chest, "As long as I'm the last."

Jacob kisses her forehead. "Definitely."

"Jacob? You know when I told you you're my happiness?" June says as they swayed to the music.

Jacob nods, spinning her around softly before pulling her back into his arms. "I'll never forget."

June hums, "I meant it, Jacob. There's nothing, nobody, as scary as that it is to admit, that can make me as happy as you."

"I meant what I said, too. You need to be anyone else when you're with me. I know you've got some moral duty to make sure everyone's okay, and that's fine, just know that I'm taking care of you." Jacob tells her.

"I can take care of you, too."

"Alright." He smiles at her. "Hey? Just so you know, I'm gonna remember this night." Jacob says, pressing her agonist him. "Forever."

June holds him, "Me, too," She murmurs. "Forever." 

However long my Forever is.

•—•—•—•

THE DAY WAS A GRAND DAY — A DAY THAT MARKED the impending arrival of her little brother. June had never felt such excitement rush through her as she and Bella decorated Iris Uley's backyard with blue streamers while Jacob and Seth Clearwater hung up the big blue ITS A BOY! banner on the edges of the roof. Leah and Lyanna were setting up the tables while they talked and Star — who astonishingly was a really good cook — was stirring the homemade chili she whipped up earlier with Sue making sure the burgers were grilling as Harry flipped them, drinking a beer with Charlie and Billy who were keeping their eye on the fish fry right beside them. It wasn't too much of a sunny day, but it was quite perfect, the air was chilly as always but it allowed them to wear only a simple jacket of sorts or a long sleeve and be trampled by the snowy air that usually filled their area.

"Charlie! Get me some tea!" June's mother's voice rang out.

"Sure thing, sweetheart!" Charlie called back but the men laughed at the roll of his eyes that he took after he sipped the beer he had in his hands.

June thought her mother looked iridescent; Daphne was wearing a baby blue dress that brought out her light brown hair and the blue of her eyes. Charlie brought the tea to his (soon-to-be) fiancé and Daphne looked so helplessly in love, so filled with joy, as she looked up to the father of her children. It was such a beautiful picture, the expecting parents, June was shaken to think that they were her parents. That she was lucky enough to say that her parents were helplessly in love with one another. June thought they'd be okay. Somehow, someday, they had gone through so much already. They'd get through losing their firstborn. For the sake of her little brother, they'd have to.

An arm snakes their way on her waist and June smile because she already knows who it is, "Are you done stressing?" Jacob whispers in her ear.

June laughs. She had her fair amount in the start of the day, yelling commands and pushing people to their edge, "Never, it's my legacy to stress," She jokes.

Jacob grins, "I know a good stress reliever ..."

For the second time in a matter of two days, June's eyes widened at some sexual meaning that was hidden in someone's words, "Yeah, me too, reading the Bible — which you clearly need to do, handsome."

Her boyfriend laughs, "I meant a shoulder-massage."

June rolls her eyes, "Oh, you're wonderful."

"Thanks babe, it's nice to hear the appreciation—"

June thumps him on his forehead with her finger, "Ha ha ha." She grins, looking around at the setup they all made. "You think my stressing was well-deserved?"

Jacob nods, "Definitely. You're little brother is gonna hear stories of how his badass sister made him the best pre-birth celebration ever."

"The post-birth one is gonna be even more fire."

"Hey, by the way, thanks for letting Quil come," Jacob's voice gets softer as his eyes trail to his best friend who was laughing with Bella and Star.

June smiles, "No, yeah, of course. I've been stealing you way too much," She says. "And losing Embry to Sam must've been hard for him, too."

"He thinks you're really nice."

"Aw, he does?" June says softly. She was glad. If his friends didn't like her, she was fucked.

"I think you're nice, too." Jacob leans in.

"Nice try, puppy." June pecks his lips.

"Ewww. Stand back!" They hear Star's voice as she holds onto Lyanna, who gives her a amused look, for support. "I think I'm gonna vomit!"

"Oh, hush, Levinson," Leah's voice chimes as she shoves Star who feigns an injury. "We all know you want to rip Jared Cameron's little jorts right off him."

Star blinked, "I'm like, attacked—? For some reason."

"Yeah, Lee," Lyanna laughs. "She just came to have a good time."

"Don't take her side, you're my cousin!" Leah pouts.

Star smirks, "Sorry. My homemade chili is downright magic, baby, it'll make anyone my bitch — or give them diarrhea. Which ever."

Lyanna frowns, "I'm suddenly not hungry anymore."

Star laughs, nodding. Jacob silently slips away with a wink to his girlfriend and goes to talk with Seth and Quil and David. June turns back to her friends who all have grins on their faces, "What?" She asks.

Lyanna smirks, "Don't what us."

Leah crosses her arms and nods, "June and Jacob sitting-in-a-tree..."

"F-u-c-k-i—" Star begin but is stopped by Leah covering her mouth.

"What that nympho means," Lyanna begins, smiling normally. "Is that you and Jake are now, what? Official?"

June's face beams, "Yup. That boy is mine."

"Finally," Lyanna laughs, then turns to Leah. "Money, please."

Leah grumbled as she takes out a ten from her pocket and hands it to Lyanna, "Here, shove it."

Star groans, "Ugh. I really thought Jacob and Quil were gonna come out together." She says.

June flips her friend off, "Did you guys bet on my relationship?"

Lyanna nods, "Duh."

"We knew it," Star chimes.

"I thought you'd just string him, on, honestly." Leah shrugs, smirking.

June rubs her temple, "I hate you all—"

Star lets out a awww sound. "That's so sweet, June."

"–But I love you," June continues.

"Does this mean we're close enough to start seances?"

"Star, no." The three girls replied in unison.

"So I'm hearing a yes?"

The baby shower commenced and more guests arrived. From the friends to the Makah tribe and those from the furthest corner of the Reservation. June's ain't Allison doted and commented on how glowing that Daphne looked. Tiffany Call even made an appearance and left a quick gift but Lyanna even stepped to the side to talk with her for moment, returning with her somber eyes and forced smile. June coordinated and catch Jacob staring at her sometimes. He'd smile and she'd smile back and she'd have the urge to run up and kiss his stupid handsome face. June channeled composure and was the most liveliest of hosts, with Bella helping Sue pass out food and whatnot and Star put on a pretty smile for June and Daphne as she helped the women play the games and Jacob was with the older men of the party were the far corner who were telling stories and drinking. It wasn't until right before the cake was gonna be brought out that June didn't see her dad in sight — oh, yeah, she thought. It was a very big day.

June was making her way inside through sliding backdoor of her grandmas home when she felt a hand on her wrist, Jacob's concerned face looking at her, "Hey, where you off to? Star's like one shot away from table dancing to another song by Fergie."

June sighed, Star would, "I need to find my dad."

Realization dawned on his face, "Right, Okay, I'll make sure Star causes a distraction for right now."

"Make sure she doesn't do anything too crazy."

A glass breaking sounded out. They looked at one another.

Jacob sighed, "I got it. Go."

June kisses him, "You're wonderful."

"So I've heard," He smirked as he turned to walk away.

June smiles to herself as she goes in the house. She looks around and nods to various people that are in there just lounging until she goes upstairs. She finds her dad in her moms old room — it hasn't been touched in almost a year. Charlie's looking at the photo on the bedside table. It's a picture of Daphne, aged eighteen, holding a baby Juniper and Charlie right beside them. Happy.

"You know," Charlie's deep voice rung out when he heard her step in. "I felt like I couldn't breathe the day Renee delivered Bella and put her in my arms. That tiny life ... then your mom had you, and I don't know, I cried my damn eyes out right there in the delivery room. The fact that Daphne, whom I'd loved my whole life, gave me something I couldn't get on my own ... best feeling in the world. Scariest, too."

"Dad ..." June says softly.

Charlie looks at her, "I'm feeling like that right now."

June goes over and hugs him. He holds her close and she realizes how much she had spent time away from her dad. Before, it ha been them two. Them against the world. Time has changed. She can't imagine a time where she was so willing to die and so willing to leave Charlie by himself. What was she thinking ... maybe she wasn't? That wasn't something she had to dwell on. Charlie wouldn't be alone anyone, ever. The chance of Bella becoming a vampire was nothing to worry over and her leaving was even less. June was okay now. Not really, you're forgetting that someone, that special someone who makes you want to live and the one who makes you happy—

"Dad," June says again as she pulls away. She looks to see the box with the ring in his hands. "You're good. Everything's gonna go great."

"What if I scare her away, though?" Charlie asks hesitantly.

"You really think mom would leave?" June shakes her head at her dad. "No, not now. Not anymore ... she promised. She never used to  because she knew she'd break it. But she promised." She promised because she wants to be there when you bury me in the ground.

Charlie rubs his face, "Guess it's now or never, right?"

"Until it'll turn into forever." June smiles.

Charlie nodded, smiling. "Yeah, forever."

He patted her cheek fondly before he went out the door with June following close behind. Time seems to go in slow motion and the noise around June is muffled as she goes off to the side. She's a ghost, slinking away to the corner, giving her father one last encouraging smile as he took the small mike that Leah handed him while Lyanna and Sue stood on either side of Daphne and held her. June watched as the guests settled down and the children stopped running around and everyone looked at Charlie as he began to talk. June could only watch, hear the muffled words, realizing that a life changing moment was happening in front of her.

"...loved Daphne all my life ..." June caught some of her dads words, the sound too gargled to hear clearly. "had some distance ... found each other ... gave me a beautiful daughter ... another, a son, it's a blessing ..." June can't help the burning sensation in her eyes as the tears come. I'm gonna ruin it, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna ruin all their happiness— "... let me make you a Swan, officially, and do that by saying you'll marry me already?"

Through June's tears, she can see her mother let out her own. Sue holds her, a sweet smile on her pretty face as Lyanna rubs her back and Star gives her a tissue. June watched as Daphne nods her head enthusiastically, the single world slipping from her lips:

"Yes."

There's cheers and warmth spread all around. She hears the clapping and June looks down to see there's tiny flowers sprouting around her feet. She stomps them, wiping away her tears, and cursing the bruise she feel forming on her forearm. She puts on her award winning smile as she forces herself into the crowd, smiling to those to congratulate her on her parents not winding up like some statistic and divorced or unofficially together. June fakes it until she locks herself in the bathroom, ignoring the looks her friends and her boyfriend give her as she lies through her teeth as says she needs some air. June doesn't know how much time passes from her staring at herself in the mirror, wondering if she'd ever see someone dying, but then remembers to look at her reflection and gets a good enough image. She returns outside and is bombarded by her mother and her joyous face.

Daphne holds her close, "You sneaky little thing," Her mom says fondly. "How did you keep this secret for so long?!" She doesn't remember I'm the moment that June's kept the secret of bet impending death for long time. She's good at keeping secrets.

June smiles forcibly, "It wasn't easy, but I managed."

Daphne laughed, hugging her again. "Well, I hope you have some ideas in mind for the wedding theme, as my own personal planner." She gushes. "Oh, June, isn't everything just so perfect, baby?"

June catches Jacob's eye, who's smiling at her as he's talking to Old Quil and his best friend. June finds clarity again, in his eyes, in his face. Breathing is easier.

"The perfectest."

note: como se dice,,,,💞💝💕💝💞💖💖💝💕💞💕💝💖💕💝💞💞💕💝💖💞💕💝💖💖💕💝💞 BEEP BEEP THE STORMS COMING NEXT CHAPTER BYE