2nd Place Winner of 2024

Fractured Petals (Dusk and Dawn)

by Cool-cat2023

Title/Cover: 7/10

At the time of judging, the name had been changed from Dusk til Dawn to Fractured Petals. After reading the story, I did not agree with this change as her love for gardening did not play enough of a part of the story to make the title match. However, the original title of Dusk til Dawn matched perfectly. I would recommend changing it back. (After judging was over, you changed it to Dusk and Dawn.)

Blurb: 8/10

The blurb is beautifully written but I have to ask if you gave away a bit too much information in it. I would reword and take away some of the storyline while leaving a hook or two to draw your reader in.

Character Development: 10/10

You did well here! Karina and Mrs Oliver were open books to your audience with their drive to find out what really happened and who was responsible.

World Building: 10/10

You did so well in building this world within the plotline that the last few chapters became mind boggling. A world within a world is hard to do. Very nice job.

Grammar and Punctuation: 8/10

I found a few errors and pointed them out to you, but these were minimal and amounted to less than two per chapter.

Plot: 9/10

The plot within a plot is not something all writers can pull off as well as adding a mystery in it. Different is good when it comes to plots as readers love to see something different. You put hooks in each chapter to keep your readers engaged too. You lost points over the Beatles song mystery that was not explained, even though it was not truly part of the plot.

Prompt Usage: 20/20

All prompts were used properly as well as cited correctly. Nicely done.

Flow: 20/20

This is the hardest part of a continuing prompt story. Each chapter must flow into the next while the storyline never waivers. You seemed to achieve this without trying.

Total: 92/100