Isha

The doorbell rings the moment I finish putting on the berry matte lipstick.

Aria and Dakota left for a date not long ago, hence it couldn't possibly be them. As for Harvey, he should still take a minimum of ten minutes before reaching this address. Perhaps they are an uninvited guest who doesn't know about the couple not being home this evening?

I stand up from the dressing stool I was sitting on, and brush the invisible dusts on the maroon jumpsuit and a black overcoat clad over it. I usually don't put my hair up but the elegant bun on top with few locks curling around the sides of my face, doesn't look quite bad. I glance at myself, savouring my newfound confidence in the mirror. There is just something about dressing up after breakup. Like a breakup afterglow. And it feels fucking amazing.

I can't help but appreciate my skills of getting ready faster than I had expected.

As the bell rings for the second (or third) time, I finally pick up my purse and phone, and proceed to strap on my heels. If I am heading down, I should just get down all prepared. Harvey is coming soon to pick me up, anyway.

A frustrated sigh leaves me when I am not even half-way down the spiral staircase and the bell rings again. The person on the other side of the door seems very impatient at the way they are almost desperately ringing the bell, over and over again.

"Coming!" I call out, hoping that would make them stop but apparently, my voice is not received.

Finally, I reach the front door and open it. "Hi, how may I help—"

The words float in the air when the sight of the person on the other side comes to my view. The owner of my heart, and the worst person I have trusted with the key to it. The present Crown Prince. Calix.

But he isn't all high and prideful like he had displayed to me two days ago, in his bedchamber. He seems meek. Timid. Guilty. But I don't want to read too much into it. Anything that involves him is best if avoided.

The now Calix has his attire rumpled up, hair messy as if he has been running his fingers through it in anxiety. And heavy pants leaving him, like he has run all the way here. He seems to have swollen bruises on his face too, but bandaged and treated. How did he even find this house? In the midst of all the rushing thoughts, unfortunately, I notice hints of the old Calix. The one for whom I had fallen maddeningly.

A lie.

"I," Calix runs the tongue over his dry lips, "I have been looking for you, Isha. I didn't know where you were. Your apartment was locked and I...I was scared that you...left or something happened. Then I went to Anvi's campus. I am sorry...I didn't know where else to go. She gave me the address and I came here. As fast as I could. I just...I just had to."

Of course Anvi would tell him; she doesn't know the truth yet.

I close my eyes shut at the painful, but warm clenching inside my heart. It sounds so sweet yet poisonous when he utters my name. Not Miss Sen anymore. "What are you doing here? Why are you even here?" I am not asking. I am demanding for an answer.

"I wanted to see you and..." Calix trails off, gulping once in a while, seeming nervous for some unknown reason. He is sweating, despite the temperature being in minus degrees, which proves how he has actually run all the way. "And talk. Please, I need to talk about everything. About us."

As Calix steps forward, I step back, the hurt feeling blooming in my face. He mirrors my expression, and paces back, not moving forward anymore and invading my personal space without my permission. "There is no us. Not anymore, Your Royal Highness."

"Isha..." Calix begins but his eyes grazes over my apparel. A soft smile flickers across his lips, "You look beautiful."

Neither do I thank him, nor do I reply. I am too baffled to say anything.

"Are-Are you going somewhere?" Calix hesitantly asks.

"A date." My curt reply is what he receives. I know it is a lie, but so be it. Calix shouldn't be thinking that I am too desperate for him that I can't even date other men and move on.

Can you though? Move on. The annoying voice in my mind taunts.

Calix's eyes widen, his face paling with what seems to be, in great affliction. He is pretending. He has to be. It's just guilt, nothing more.

"A date?" Calix's voice lowers to a whisper.

"A date." I affirm,

The two of us stand in nothing but silence as the chilly winds blows past us. Neither does he move nor I, but our eyes speak a thousand unspoken words.

"Who is he?" Calix asks, after a moment or two.

"Harvey Jikora."

I should've been satisfied at the reaction I got when Calix heard I am going on a date with one of his employees at Nirvana. He is even aware how I know Harvey since a long time. However, the surprising fact is, I do not feel happy or triumphant at witnessing what I wanted to. No. I feel penitent. Nevertheless, I tell myself this is what he deserves if he ever even had something for me. He has no right to come here when I am finally trying to move on, and act like he cares. Act like life has been sucked out from his soul.

Act so desperate. It's pathetic how much that makes my heart want to melt and give in to the source of my heartbreak.

"Harvey Jikora," Calix mutters, "I see."

"Good," I clench my fists on my sides, "Now that you know I am going on a date, please leave."

Calix does not move. "Isha please, I...I need just an opportunity to clear things—"

"You had the opportunity." Control Isha, control. Don't lose your calm. "Two days ago when I went to Nirvana myself, sneaked into your bedchamber like a thief, even though I had felt utter humiliation. But you lost it, Your Royal Highness. 'I was simply swayed by useless emotions that made me vulnerable momentarily and hence, distracted me from my goal. After I became the Crown Prince, I realised that my present and future partner needs to be someone worthy to stand beside me. A woman with a high status and title.' Need I remind you of everything that happened two days back, and events occurring before that, right after we had sex in Fleurina?"

"Isha I—"

"No, do not speak a single word!" My eyes burn with tears. "I don't want to hear anything, Your Highness. You ended it. That's it."

"Isha, I love you." He said the three magical words finally.

"What?" I did not mean to express any reaction, or speak my mind and rather hold my ground but the unexpected foreign words catch me off guard. And so does the passion illuminating in Calix's ocean blue eyes. Why now?

A smile lights up his face but the nerves deepen when I do not express a single emotion. He licks his dry lips in nervousness, as he speaks again, "I know the confession isn't ideal, nor is the time, setting, anything. I wanted it to be special. And I will do a second confession but more wonderful and—"

"I do not believe you." I hug myself, not because of the cold but the hollowness increasing in my chest.

"I love you, Isha." Calix pleads with more desperation. He steps forward, gently taking my palms in his, and letting out a wet laughter. "I have fallen for you so damn hard, that I cannot seem to get up. In fact, I do not want to get up. I want to keep falling for you, every year, every month, every day, every night, every hour, every second, every millisecond and every moment that seem uncountable." Calix's breath mingles, when he places his forehead against mine. "Let me make it up to you, Isha. I promise to clear up the misunderstanding. Just give me one chance. That is all I ask for and hear me out. Please, love."

A laughter full of disbelief erupts from me, while I remove myself from his hold. The atrocious thoughts reappearing.

"How do you expect me to believe anything when I was used as an object of physical pleasure. Am I not correct?" The words leave my lips, before I can stop them.

"Isha I would never." Calix's voice rises with sheer panic. "No Isha. How—Why would you even think so low of me? Why would you compare yourself to an object?"

"Well, I don't know because you didn't talk and took every decision on your own as if my feelings do not matter! As if I don't matter."

Our attentions are taken by a blue car pulling over in the driveway. Thankfully, it is who I think it is. And it seems, Calix has realised the same. Good. Good for him.

Harvey gets out of the car, approaching our direction with a smile when it turns into a rather confused one when he sees Calix, or rather, the usual elegant prince in a disoriented state. My friend immediately straightens his posture crossing his arms behind, and doing a little neck bow, "Your Royal Highness, good evening."

In usual days, despite his jealousy (if he ever harboured), Calix would have greeted him back. But not today perhaps, as he stares blankly at the other man, without responding.

"Harvey," I clear my throat as the urge of getting out of here and from anywhere, where Calix is present, increases, "Let us go on our date."

"Date?" Harvey murmurs in question, his gaze moving back and forth between Calix and me but when he catches my eyes, I sign him to play along. Fortunately, he is smart enough to catch onto it and nods, rubbing the back of his head. "Oh yeah right, the date. No problem, of course. Shall we leave then, Isha?"

Harvey, who I am sure must have sensed the hot blood between me and the prince, offers his arm. I strut past Calix, generously taking my friend's hand while he helps me get inside the car. Soon he enters the vehicle as well and starts the engine, as I try to focus my attention in front and forcing myself to not look at the prince who is still standing there. And looking at me.

Alas, the moment Harvey begins to pull the car out of the driveway, my eyes meet Calix's and a wave of remorse crashes on to me, right when I witness fresh tears glistening. My chin wobbles and I snap my attention onto the road in front, sucking in a tight breath. It takes strength of every inch of molecule in my body to not get out of the car and into the arms of Calix. And eventually cry my eyes and heart out in his embrace.

But then what? We forget everything like a little nightmare and move on with our lives like before? Is it that easy with the new changes that have taken place?

Yes I was hurt when Calix had said those awful words, about not being equal to his status. But it wasn't anything wrong. I am neither a wealthy person nor belong from an aristocratic family. I am Isha Sen. A twenty-five-year old, soon-to-be published author, who teaches English Literature at Syncitia Public High School at the same time. Not a princess. Not a billionaire. Not the daughter of a Duke and Duchess.

And not someone worthy to be seen as Crown Prince Calix's significant other.

"Thank you," a smile etches on my lips when Harvey brings me a jumbo size rainbow cookies and cream chocolate sundae in a biscuit-cone. My favourite that I always have whenever I am feeling down. It seems that Harvey still remembers this from our high school days.

He sits down beside me on the bench facing the sparkling river, glittering under the moonlight. A nice and empty spot without many passers-by; just what I needed at present.

"I can't believe you still have mint chocolate chip ice-cream," I snort as I take a bite from my sundae and almost cry when the tsunami of flavours burst in my tongue in the form of a sweet fantasy. It has been so long since I had this. It has been so long since I was needed to have one. I was happy these past months, after all.

"It's not that bad, come on." Harvey rolls his eyes with a retort.

"Mint chocolate chip ice-creams taste like toothpaste. You can't tell me otherwise."

"Well I beg to differ, toothpaste is not that sweet, and definitely does not contain vanilla."

"It still tastes disgusting."

Harvey gasps dramatically, "Such an offensive thing to say to your good friend."

"You are just too sensitive," I taunt playfully.

"Excuse me? I am cone-fident that mint chocolate chip ice-cream is the best flavour out there."

That becomes the last straw of our playful banters as we both break out into fits of hysterical laughter, forgetting the bottled up negative emotions for a moment. We laugh until we forget our names, tears of joy slipping out the corner of our eyes and we gasp for oxygen. After the phase of intense laughter dies down, and a comfortable silence prevails between us, I cannot help but cherish the surrounding. Winter Fireflies lighting up the dark grassy land as the cold breeze rustles over the field and the slushy sound of the glittering river flowing by, is truly an enchanting sight to take in. There is not a sign of snow, excluding few freckles stuck to the grassy leaves like dew drops. This is a truly miraculous factor of Euthensia, the capital of Syncitia. It snows a heavy amount during the month of December, which may start from middle to late November, at times. As for the thawing of the snow, that occurs generally early, that is, during January. The capital all round year has more or less a favourable weather.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Harvey finally asks.

I shake my head, as Harvey nods understandingly. "It's complicated."

"I see." Silence once again prevails. After a good two minutes or more, my friend speaks, a playful tone touching his words, "Did His Royal Highness mess up big time?"

"He did." I let out a chuckle. "I'm not sure if I am ready to forgive him, like ever."

Harvey hums, staring at the river in front. "You see, water never stops. It flows. What would you done, if you were on a ship, and facing a raging storm? Would you have given up and waited for death or at least tried to survive?"

"Of course I would've tried to survive," I answer not understanding why Harvey was asking such an out-of-the-context question.

"Exactly." A knowing smile appears on his lips. "Our lives are similar to the flow of water. It does not stop until the day we breathe our last. It is made up of obstacles like the raging storm occurring in the middle of a deep ocean. However, just how the next day clouds disappear and bright sun appears, similarly, the obstacles are overcome. It might take time. In fact, it will take time for the past wounds to heal. But that is life. A cycle of good and bad moments. And right now Isha, yes you are moving on and I am proud of you for that but you are doing so by sacrificing the chance to solve the cause of the wound."

Harvey isn't wrong, and I know it very well. But the fear of listening to Calix and deciding whether he is speaking the truth or lies in order to achieve another messed up goal of his, is too much of a hectic matter for me to solve. I am conflicted and I do not know anymore what to do.

"I don't know how big of a mistake His Royal Highness has committed, and I am not asking you to forgive him either. That decision is yours to make. What I am asking of you is to give him one chance to speak. I may be inexperienced when it comes to relationships, but someone wouldn't run all the way, for over fifty minutes in this chilly weather and that also, without any overcoat, just to say 'hello.'"

I breathe a sigh. "I'll see what I can do." A thought strikes me as I decide to tease him. "When did Owlie become such a genius?"

"I always was. You never noticed."

I can't help but feel confused when Harvey delivers those words without any hint of retort or playfulness and rather seriousness. As if it is a metaphor and within these words is hidden a deeper meaning that I am unable to decipher.

In order to lighten the sudden serious mood, I nudge him with my elbow, "Well, what about you, hmm? Any special someone?"

"There is," he says, gazing into my eyes with genuineness that I cannot comprehend, "She isn't aware. She never was. Never will be."

My stare soften in sympathy. "Unrequited love, then?"

"Unrequited love, unfortunately," Harvey lets out a sad chuckle, "But she makes even the concept of the love being unrequited, fortunate."

"You sound really in love with her, Harvey," I smile, "Are you sure you won't regret confessing your love? Maybe she will accept. Well of course if she isn't already in a relationship."

"She is, my bad. And she is in love with another man. Her happiness is with him." Harvey sighs. "I was late, rather. But it's fine because seeing that pretty smile on her lips is enough for me."

"Even if that breaks your heart?"

"That's what love is, Isha. It is selfless, beautiful yet heartbreaking. I am simply glad to be able to stay beside her as her friend, at the very least."

I pull Harvey into a side-hug. It must be painful for him and I can't even imagine going through the pain of being in an unrequited love. Surprisingly, Harvey pulls away from the hug with an awkward chuckle, and his gaze not meeting mine. "You should go now. Calix is waiting for you, Isha."

The name rings everything back to life and the conflicting emotions come rushing through as an additional package.

Harvey stands up abruptly as he speaks in haste, "Ah I have work to attend to. I suddenly remembered. Come, let me drop you off."

I wanted to ask Harvey if he was alright, with the way he was behaving out of nowhere, but keep the words of concern to myself. Especially after seeing him wiping the tears. He must have hit a sensitive spot while talking about the woman he loves.

I wonder who the woman is.