The night is cold and dark. My nightmares are away now, but their memories stay in my head. It's always the same. I can't remember the last night I slept correctly. I stand up and cross my small apartment quickly, escaping the empty bottles and sandwichs packs. I have to clean my room, one day, but I don't have the motivation.

I turn on the laptop and check my e-mails. Nothing. It's better. I go on a weekly newspaper's website. I want to see the last news about the case which interest me at this time : the children disappearance.

There is no big new information. The police hide lot of things to the population. I understand why, but guys like me can't investigate. And it's too bad for policemen, when we see the help I give them.

I go to the kitchen and look at the clock on the wall. It's 3 AM. I open the fridge. There is not a lot of thing to eat... Ok, there is nothing, except a bit of cold yesterday's pizza in a stained box. I take it and open it. I'm too lazy to warm it.

I go to the bathroom with a piece in my hand and look at my face in the mirror. The dark circles under my eyes are worst day after day. Anyway.

A little sound come from my laptop, a little alarm. I go to my bedroom and look at that. I have an e-mail. At 3 AM ? I don't know the address. I open it with prudence and read it.

"Hello, I am from the police and I want to talk with you about the children's disappearance case. Call me from the chat. See you soon."

Does that guy know I'm awake ? How ? Or is it a coincidence ? I click on the chat tab. I select the unknown. He's surely waiting for me. I write a message.

Me : I'm here. What ?

??? : Hi. Is this your real name on the address or it's a fake ?

Me : Don't care about it and call me Lupus.

??? : Lupus ? Wolf ?

Me : What is your name ?

Eliott : Call me Eliott.

Lupus is the surname I use to send messages to the police. I don't know why I chose that.

Me : Ok, Eliott. So you're from the police.

Eliott : Exactly. I suppose I have to prove that ?

Me : No joke.

Eliott : I have all the information about the case. Ask me one question.

I think a couple of minutes. He's very strange, I can't give my information like nothing ever happened, and if I give a fact about me without paying attention, he could find me easily. Which question could I ask him ?

I close the curtains, take the laptop and sit down in the middle of the room. I put the laptop in front of me. I have an idea.

Me : I don't have any question for you. I trust you.

Eliott : Oh, good ! So, can we talk about the case ? I am impatient.

Me : I will give you all my deductions. Don't interrupt me.

Eliott : Hu... Ok, but why ?

Me : It could distract me. Now stop writing.

We are the first of March. The fourth day of February, a child disappeared at the center of London, at 10 PM. A disappearance alert was send, but no answers. Five days later, two little girls disappeared at night at 2 hours of difference at the same place. The police began to ask them questions but didn't alert the population. The twelfth, a boy disappeared 5 miles at north of the first disappearance place at 6 PM, and another 30 minutes later, 2 miles at the south. The police send an alert and create the case of children disappearance. I began to follow it. It can't be a coincidence, so I first thought that was one lonely man, but the event of the twelfth brought me to think there are minimum 2 guys in the affair, because one guy can't travel 7 miles in 30 minutes with one kidnapped girl, without being seen by someone at that moment. Also, 6 PM is a peak hour, so he cannot pass on the center of London, and it's the same if he goes around the city with the periphery. He can't arrive on time, and I verified the traffic of this day : it was so heavy.

I look at the wall above my bed. There is a map of London, full of post-it with information. I put thumbtack on the places of disappearance. I hooked pictures of the children, with facts about them. I bit my thumb nail. It's a tic.

There was no more disappearances before 10 days. I think the criminals wanted to be a little forgotten after that 5 kidnappings. The twenty-second of February, two kidnappings are made : a boy at 0, 5 miles of the center of London, and a girl in front of the Thames, the both at 8 AM, before the school. At this time, it's sure, there are several guys on the affair.

The three first disappearances are on the same place : the middle of London. I think this is the place of the base of the culprits. After, they began to go more away, at 5 and 2 miles of the center.

The twenty-ninth at 4 PM and the thirty-first at 9 AM, two more kidnappings are made at 4 and 4, 5 miles of the center of London. At the end, 5 boys and 4 girls are kidnapped. They come from many different milieus, they have many different years old and they are very different, but they have one common point : they are all very clever. They have an extraordinary reasoning capacity, they are all very strong in mathematics, and all their parents say they loved so much enigma.

19 years ago, children disappeared too, and it was the same refrain, like 7 years ago. I think is linked.

I send the message to Eliot. Let see his reaction. I wait for a little couple of minutes.

Eliott : Oh, incredible ! I haven't thought all of that. But...

Me : What ?

Eliott : You made a mistake.

I petrify. A mistake ? Where ?

Me : Which one ?

Eliott : You said "They have an extraordinary reasoning capacity", but it's wrong. On the 9 children, just 5 of them had a really good reasoning capacity. The 4 others are quite normal.

Oh. He didn't fell into the trap. I lied. Now, either he is a real policeman, or...

Me : Of course, I was wrong. Anything else ?

He don't answer immediately. I give a hand and try to take a piece of pizza. Shit, I left it on the kitchen. But, what I did of the piece I took earlier ? I stand up and go to the bathroom. The piece is here, on the lavabo. I take it, go to the kitchen, throw it on the pizza's box and take the last crisp pack on the self. Enjoy your meal.

I return to the laptop and watch the screen, eating crisps. The message arrive after 5 minutes.

Eliott : Hey guy, can we have a meet one day ? In a restaurant for example.

Me : Don't call me guy.

Eliott : ... Ok ...

Me : When ?

Eliott : I don't know. Saturday ?

Saturday is on two day. It's not a good idea.

Me : No. Too early.

Eliott : Sunday ?

Me : No.

Eliott : Monday ?

Me : No.

Eliott : Thursday ?

Me : No.

Eliott : Wednesday ?

Me : No.

Eliott : Ok... What do you want ?

Me : Tuesday evening.

Eliott : Good ! Where ? In a restaurant ?

Me : No, in a place outside. Or I don't come.

Eliott : In the Hyde Park at 9 PM. It's good for you ?

At that hour, the park will be open, and with a bit of lucky, there will not are so many people.

Me : It's good for me.

Eliott : See you Tuesday, Lupus !

Tuesday. I have one week for all prepare : command what I need and send some e-mails.

*****

Someone ring on the door. I take a long breath and open it. A man is behind it, with a big package. He's the delivery man. I blow a little "Hello" and sign his paper without paying a huge attention. He tell me something like "Thank for your command !" or "See you soon." and he go.

I close the door. The bad moment is passed.

I open the package and see it contain. A coat, food for minimum one month, and... Perfect, exactly what I wanted. I open my laptop and begin the setting. It stay no more than 7 hours.

*****

I don't want to go out. And it's maybe why I hadn't go out since 4 years, when I was forced because of an internet problem. The only problem I can't solve without internet.

I put the black coat I received earlier on me, and take shoes beside the door. They are olds and worn, but what else ? They just have to be at the good size. I wear my eternals t-shirt and jean. Should I change ? I don't have time. I turn on the laptop and leave it at the middle of my bedroom. I throw a glance on the apartment and join the enter door.

I watch it a long time. Am I really ready ? Can't I go back and give up the case ? It's not too late, I don't have to do that, it's not my job.

No. No, no, no. I can do that. That door will not stop me, I have to conquer my fear, I have to pass that door. I have to go outside.

I take the handle and push it. I open the door and make a step. Here I am. I close the door behind me and walk quickly on the corridor. While I advance, a huge ball in my stomach is making. I see a man, he is arrived from the end of the corridor. He watch me fishily. I lower the head and escape his look. He says a "Hello" to me and I don't answer. I can't. All seconds, I want to go back home, but I continue to the stairs. I go down without watching behind me and arrive to the ground floor. I pass the hall and push the big enter door.

Immediately, a gigantic breath of fresh air sweep my face. It's pure and soft. A huge sound come to my hears, a hubbub, a mix of voices, wind, circulation noise, ... The light blind me, a new light I didn't see since a long time. I feel like a new force on me.

I can see people, all around me, like bugs, walking and twitching. I start shaking. I don't want them to see me, to talk to me, to come to me. Stay away. But... I have the impression they don't care about me.

I look up and see the sky. It's blue, a bit dark because of the near night. There are littles whites clouds, like sheep, sprinkling that huge surface. It's beautiful. It been so long the last time I saw it.

I begin to walk on the street. I have to go to the Hyde Park in 15 minutes. The road is pretty large, and the buildings are tall.

Suddenly, my shoulder bump something. I stumble and a woman turn around. She put her hand on my shoulder and tell me "I'm sorry ! Are you ok ?" Panic. My voice climbs. I can't answer. I have to say something, anything, or she will insist. I arrive to release a little "I'm ok." She smile and continue her path.

I don't know that woman. I don't know you she is, I don't know what she wants, I don't know... Ok. I said I'm ok. So I'm ok. All normal people can bump someone and apologize after, it's not a problem. But I heard a little voice in my mind saying "You're not normal. Remember that."

Shut up, little voice.

A frightful sound throws violently my thoughts away. A car pass just beside me, at a mad speed. I petrify and stick my arms to my chest. It's too much for me.

I start running, I go as fast as I can, escaping people on my road. Please, don't look at me, don't watch me, don't touch me. Stay away.

I stop beside a small dark alley and go in. When I am enough away from them, I lean my back on the wall. My legs can't support my weight any instant else. I sit down slowly. It's calm, here. There is no risk, no danger. I'm safe here. I put my head between my hands. I breath slowly and close my eyes. My tension goes down step by step.

It was the same scenario 4 years ago. I was 19, and it was my third year alone on that small apartment. I was so scared and terrified, the world was so threatening for me. Now, I have to pass the cap, I have to pass to other things. I think, one day, I must have a normal life. A life with communication, exchange, sharing, friends.

Some minutes later, I arrive to the Hyde Park. There is not many people because it's 9 PM, but now, I am very vigilant. I try to escape contact with anybody, except Eliott. He has to come in 2 minutes. I don't how I will recognize him. I try to imagine how he is. Maybe he's tall, fat, slim, maybe he's young or very old, ... Maybe he's a woman and she have a man name. Anything can happen now.

I profit of my free time for watch the trees and the birds. I forgot that was like that. I hate forget.

A man is coming here. He has a big coat and a hat, I can't see his face. It's maybe Eliott. He stops near me. I have a little thrill, but I do like nothing never happened. I have to sound normal. "Lupus ?" he whispers. I acquiesce. "Follow me" he says, and he goes. I go too, with a little late and prudence, biting my thumb nail. He approaches a little hut and pushs the door.

Oh no. I refuse to go inside. I don't know him, and there is nobody here. It's too dangerous.

- Come. he tells me.

- No. I answer.

- Here, people can hear us. Come inside for talk together.

He starts annoys me. "There's nobody here. I don't go inside." I warn. He sighs. " You disappoint me." I want answers I'm free to choose where I want to go, I do what I want, and anything else. But I do not have time to open my mouth : I receive a violent stroke on the neck. I fall against me without conscience.