I open my eyes against my pain on the neck. It's a torture. It's true, I wasn't hit since 7 years.

    I want to put my hand on the suffering part, but I can't. I am sat on a chair, the arms attached with ropes to the armrests. I throw a glance to the room. It's empty, all in white : the walls, the floor, the ceiling... And I'm sat on the middle. I'm always sat on the middle of the rooms. Ironic.

    In front of me, there is a little boy back to me, playing on the floor with little figurines. They are worn, broken, one of them don't have head.

    The child is singing a strange nursery rhyme. The melody is anarchic like the rhythm, and there aren't rhymes. I'm sure I already heard that song somewhere...

"A little lamb lost in the dark, who's crying his mom who's gone far. The bad guy will eat the lamb because nobody care of him. A little lamb lost in the dark, who will not see again his home tonight."

Suddenly, he throws a figurine away. It bursts on the wall. The pieces fall. I watch it and wait. The little boy stops move. He's very strange. After one minute, he turns back and looks at me. I stop move and look at his eyes.

    He's small, with a round face and big green eyes. He has brown messy short hair. "Hello !" he says with his high-pitched voice. Why everybody wants to talk with me ?

    I look at him, frown, and decide to ask :

-    Who are you ?

-    Oh, come on. he laughs. You know me.

    I think. I don't know a little boy, nothing come to my mind.

-    You don't know ?

-    No. I answer coldly.

-    What a pity ! Me, I know you, Lupus.

    I freeze. Only the police know that surname, and...

-    Eliott...

-    Waw ! Congratulation !

    Eliott, the one who called me by e-mail, the one who talked with me about the children disappearance case, Eliott is a little child ?

-    So... You're not from the police. I say.

-    Yeah.

-    But you know the information about the case.

-    Yeah.

-    So you...

-    Exactly. I am the bad guy.

    While he said that, it was like stars in his eyes. He's proud to be a criminal.

-    So you send men to kidnap children. You have a big power on that men, so I imagine it's an organization and you're at the head ? You must be 11.

    He starts laughing. I sound calm, without flinching, but inside, I hate say that, but I'm scared. So scared. Eliott is pretty frightening.

    He becomes normal again. He stands up and walks to me with his stressing eyes.

-    Do you know where we are ?

-    How can I ?

-    You said "I think the base of the culprit is in the place of the first disappearance." You didn't guess ?

    I don't answer. Of course, I have an idea since the beginning, but I can't accept that. Not that.

-    Oh, poor Lupus. You are on the place you past 12 years of your life and you can't recognize it.

    The place... Where I pass 12 years of my life ? Immediately, thousands and thousands pictures come in my mind. I can't describe my feelings and how, at that moment, I lost all my means, logic, and everything at the same time. My fears, my panic come and take my place. I want scream, I want go away, I want die, everything but not live again my worst nightmares.

-    Hey, are you ok, Lupus ? Or I have to say...

No. Don't use my real first name.

-    ... Roy Owers ?

    Listen that name is like a punch on my head. Nobody called me like that since my little childhood. When I was an innocent and happy kid with my parents, when I went to school, went I looked cartons on the TV, and when everybody sang Happy Birthday when I pass one year.

    What is a first name ? A suite of sounds we give to someone for recognize him with the others, but another person can have the same first name. A thing someone chose for someone else for be able to call him each moment, each instant, for be able to describe him. But if a person is alone, with nobody for call him, nobody for describe him, nobody for recognize him with others, where the first name is useful ? I don't need name.

-    Don't use my name.

-    Oh, don't be susceptible. I do what I want. I am the leader of this place, now. Since one year. Many things changed since you escaped here.

-    I don't care. I am not longer their object. I don't belong of this laboratory. I am a free man, now !!

    The smile disappeared of Eliott's face. He looks like sad and hanger at the same time. He squeezes the hand on his figurine and a broke sound happened. Eliott looks at his hand and throws the object away.

-    Yes. he said. You are a free man now. And it's a problem.

-    Why ? I ask.

    He sits in front of me.

-    19 years ago, the state decided to create a laboratory. A secret laboratory, for make experiences on humans and advance science. At this time, it needed guinea pigs but it didn't have one. So it kidnap kids pre-selected on the street. And among that child, there was you, Roy.

    Listen it is hard, because I remember all of that. Everything.

-    The experience was for develop mental capacities and it took a long time. he continue. And after 12 years, they kidnaped other children, like me.

    I think again about Eliott's song. "A little lamb lost in the dark", is it him ? So "Her mother who's gone far" and 'Nobody care of him" are true too. That song takes another sense now.

-    At this time,...

-    I know the suite. The song. I heard you sing it, and I decided to escape the laboratory.

-    Oh ! You remember !

-    I was 16 at this time. And you was 4, no ?

-    Yes, you're right. Do you know the suite, after your escaping ?

    His eyes are shining again. He looks up in my eyes. It's strange, I can't talk to anybody, but now, I talk with him without any problem.

-    I needed money for live. So I hacked the program the state was using for give money to the laboratory and I took everything. I say.

    Eliott doesn't answer. He stays silently. Slowly, he stands up, and approachs my chair. What does he want ? He stops just in front of me.

-    Yeah, you did that. Do you know the consequences ?

-    I don't care of the consequences.

    He had a little rictus. A threatening rictus.

    Suddenly, he takes my wrists and leans towards me. He sounds hanger, mad of hanger.

-    You killed all the guinea pigs ! All !! he shouts.

-    What ??

-    The laboratory was ruined, it accelerates the experience and it was so violent : all the guinea pig died, except me ! You're a murderer !!

    Me ? A murderer ?

-    They are all dead. he continues. That was a real slaughter.

    He starts laugh.

-    And it was fun.

    I look at him in the eyes. He is really mad.

    I can't stop thinking about what he said. I indirectly killed all the others guinea pigs, so when Eliott came at the head of the organization, he kidnaps others. And me, in all of that ?

-    You kidnapped me for force me to join again the laboratory. You want use me.

    Eliott steps back and smiles again.

-    First reason. The second, it's you know too much about the laboratory. If you talk, we risk have many problems. And the third, I want...

-    ... A vengeance.

    He stops and look at me, disconcerted. He smiles and pass his tongue on his lips.

-    Exactly. I want to make you suffer. Suffer years after years, all your life and die a horrible manner. We will enjoy all the time we will pass together.

    I support his look. He sounds like a kids who just receives a candy. And I'm the candy.

    I start laughing. Laughing with happiness. He watchs me, horrified.

-    Why are you laughing ?

    I stop and look at him in the eyes, with a mocker smile.

-    Poor little mad boy. I won.

    He jumps back, like terrified. He looks all around him, against the fact there is just white around us. He grabs my collar and pull.

-    What you said ?? What you did ??

    I laugh almost sadistically.

-    Oh, Eliott. I understood all of that before leave my house.

-    You...

-    Yes, I knew, when I received your message, you are the culprit, and I accept to meet you just for arrest you !

    Eliott starts to shaking.

-    You don't know me ! I knew you will discover the truth very fast, and I knew you will come against everything ! You fell into the trap, you can't escape !

-    Ha ha ha ! And you think I went here without prepare my plan ?

-    You can't move ! You are at my mercy ! Your plan is useless !

-    You think ? Look inside my right pocket.

    Eliott petrifies. Slowly, he gives a hand to my coat pocket without leave his look on me. He puts his hand in and seeks. Suddenly, he finds something and stops move. He goes pale.

    Of a gesture, he extracts the object of the pocket and looks at it.

-    You... he starts.

    Who fell into the trap ?

-    Fuck you !!

    He throws the flea of detection on the floor and crushs it with the feet. After, he stops move and stays here. His interrupt breath is noisy. Slowly, he fixes me of a black look, has if he wanted to kill me violently.

-    You know why I wanted one week before meet you ? One week, it was the time I needed for receive that flea of detection for sell phone.

-    You made terrible mistake...

-    Yesterday, I sent one e-mail to the English press for give them all the clues about the existence of the laboratory. I explained them all the story and the case of children disappearance. And the most important : I gave them my address.

-    You didn't do that...

-    I alerted the police too. They surely came to my apartment at the moment when we talk. I left there my laptop on with the software tracking and a message : "Help me". They are coming.

    Eliott wrinkles. His visage is twisting in a horrible mean, because of the hanger.

-    This laboratory is belong to the state ! You can alert who you want, police, press, it will censored !

-    Of course. But you miss one element : I alerted the French press too. It can't be censored ! And even if it is stopped, the process is too long, and the press have the time to call the information to the population. The state will be forced to arrest the project.

    Eliott stops move, totally lost. He looks hopeless.

-    It's too late, Eliott. I won.

    I look at him calmly. The game is finished. I can hear the police sirens. Eliott looks up, nerves in lively. He squeezes the teeth and releases a growl. He sounds like an animal. He looks at me and pulls one thing to his belt. Shit, a knife.

-    You destroyed all my life once, and you restarted today. You're a bastard, a murderer, and you will live all your life with that on your mind.

    A voice of policeman behind me is heard. Eliott raises the knife in front of me. Does he want to kill me ? It's one of possibilities.

    I heard a broke sound of door behind me, a policeman shout one thing, and Eliott, with a wild look, goes to me with the knife in the hand.

    And at the last time, while policemen are coming on the room, I can see Eliott stabbing himself.

*****

    I bit my thumb nail. It breaks between my teeth. Seriously.

    I look all around me. It's the night, a fresh night. The policemen are twitching everywhere. I think it's a good new for them : the children disappearance case is over.

    I look at the mortuary sheet in front of me, on Eliott's body. Dead of a bleeding, suicide. He was just 11. How a little child can lose all envy to live like that ? How can we destroy a child's life like that ? I don't have the answers.

    A policeman come in front of me and talk with a calm voice, gently. I suppose he has pity of me. I think I am pathetic with my dark circles under my eyes and my dirty blond hair.

-    Hello. he says.

-    Hello.

-    An ambulance will come for bring you to the hospital. There, you will be taken in charge. You can stay to the hospital as long as you want, until you find a stable situation. It's ok for you ?

-    Yes, I'm ok.

-    Good. I need your name, your age and your place or residence, please. And tell me if you have a friend or parents near.

A little ironic smile appeared on my face. Of course, I can tell you everything about me.

-    My name is Roy Owers. I'm 23, and until today, I lived alone on my small apartment since 7 years. I had no job, no friends, no family, but now, it's over. Now, I will be a normal guy.