"Don't you love me Sanskar?" She asked in mere whisper looking at him in verge of breaking down.

Sanskar felt his heart skip a beat. He looked at her in shock.

" What?" He could ask in mere whisper.

"Tell me Sanskar, Don't you love me?" She asked little loudly with tears.

He wasn't able to get what's going on. What happened to her? Why does it matter if he loves her? What does matter if he tells her? She is going to leave him right?

"Swara... What.."

"No, I don't want to hear anything else. Just answer me. Say that you love me, Sanskar. Please!!" She shook her head negatively and hold his collar coming close to him.

"Swara, what happened to you? What are you..." Sanskar tried to say but Swara again Interupted.

"Just say it damn it!! Sanskar please. Say it!!" She fisted his collar tightly cryingly bitterly.

Sanskar was shocked to see her reaction and for a second he felt what if she regained her memory but then he thought not to hope one more time only to break once again. She might have got some flashes of him saying I love you or something. But her behaviour was really different than she used to. It was more like HIS SWARA. It's not his fault because she is her only but she just has forgotten herself.

"Why does it matter Swara? Even if I do, then also things doesn't change right? You love Aryan not me. You know Swara, whether you haven't remember anything about these few months but these were most beautiful moments of my life because I got a hope in form of you. But now you are going away. You want to be free from this relationship na? I am giving your life back Swara. I have sign the divorce papers. You can go back to Aryan and live your life happily. Nothing is stopping you." He said Looking at her in sad tone. His voice gets heavy and looked down.

"And yeah, Aryan is here to...." Sanskar was saying but he couldn't say anything else as Swara placed her lips on his closing her eyes. She stand so close to him. Lifting herself, she encircled her arms around his neck while her fingers entangled in her hair. Sanskar closed his eyes as soon as he felt her lips agaist his and felt her kissing him. He was still in state of shock and he couldn't respond it. His hand felt too numb to hold her.
After a couple of minutes, she broke the kiss and breathe heavily with her face still close to him. He opened his eyes and looked at her but her eyes were still closed. He couldn't hold his sudden urge to cupe her face. As soon as his palm touched her face gently. He felt a fresh tear sliding down from her eyes.

"Swara" He called her slowly.

"She opened her eyes and looked at him with teary eyes and without saying anything. She hugged him tightly throwing herself in his arm and started crying bitterly yet again. He got concerned. His arms encircled around her and he placed his one hand on her hair with care and concern. She wasn't stopping neither she was saying anything. He was about to ask her when he heard her.

"I.. i.. a...am sorry Sanskar." He heard her saying in whimpered tone.

"I am sorry for everything I did. Please forgive me. I d.. don't want anything. I just want you in my life. I don't want to go anywhere. I want to live with you. Please forgive me. I know I did so wrong. I hurt you so much but don't do this. Don't push me away from you. May be you will be able to live by letting me go but I won't able to live without you. I am sorry please. " She said cryingly.

Sanskar heard everything and he felt immense happiness like his dead heart started beating yet again. The wound got healed all of the sudden. The pain started fading away.

"I LOVE YOU SANSKAR." She confessed.

As soon as he heard her saying this, He broke the hug and cup her face making her look at him, unable to believe that she actually said she loves him.

"Say that again." He said looking at her in pleading tone yet filled with happiness.
Swara looked at him with tears and nodded no shaking her head negatively.

"Please Swara." He requested leaning his forhead agaist hers to hear those words again from her.

"I love you Sanskar. But you don't. You just don't!!" She jerked his collar little harshly.

"Even though I had memory loss but once I told you that never let me go even if want but you didn't stop me. You happily accepted to go away from me. I hate you for that Sanskar. I hate you because you are too selfless and you didn't even thought what will I feel when I will regain memories of these few months? I hate you for doing this to me. Still I love you so much Sanskar that I can't live without you. " Swara said and hitting him on his chest with her fist and tears falling from her eyes. Then she separate herself away from him, looking at him and took back steps.

Sanskar tried to hold her but she rushed inside. He looked at her retreating figure and was about to go behind her that's when he sees Aryan standing there. He gave a sad smile. Sanskar figured that he heard everything from his face expression.

"Aryan, she..." Sanskar was about to say but Aryan interupted.

"I know, I heard everything. But I don't have any complains from her, neither you. She loves you and you also love her so much. May be I was too late to find her. I had already lost her that night after that accident. I unknowingly came between you. Yeah, she loved me once but now, I know you are her life. I can't be selfish to think about myself. I just want her happiness Sanskar. Keep her happy. I know you will. Take care of her. Bye, I will take leave now." Aryan said and went from there.

Sanskar looked at him. He felt bad for him. He also goes inside and went directly toward their room.

He came inside and shut the door behind him. He finds her standing near window looking out or most probably crying as he could guess. He sees the divorce papers was now lying in small pieces on the floor. He remembered he left it on bed when he came to see her in this room few times ago.
He sighed and took step toward her. He hold arm to turn her around slowly but she was reluctant. She didn't face him.

"Swara..." He called her lovingly. Just the way he used to call her.

She turned around abruptly and looked at him.

"Divorce papers? Really Sanskar!! It's been a week and you got it. If I wouldn't have Remembered everything then we might have divorced Sanskar!! I would have cursed myself like anything. I know.. I know, I demanded it due to my stupidity. I just don't understand what type of game god was playing with me that I forget some part of my life but you knew everything Sanskar. Couldn't you just shouted at me that you won't divorce me! I just don't understand how I said all those stupid things to you and you were listening without even saying anything. Why didn't you just slap me hard? I so deserve that. I cursed you, told you all those unbelievable things, to the person whom I love, I blamed you for everything. " She said with tears.

"Hey Swara, relax. It's alright." He said slowly and cups her face.

" No, it's not alright." She jerked his hand away and shouted being angry at herself.

"It wasn't right what I did to you. You were always there for me and I rushed away everything without even trying to understand and hear you. I always felt I was wrong but I just wasn't ready to accept it. That night also, I just blamed you and asked about divorce accusing that you dont want to. But thank god, that I finally regained my memory of these five months that night and understood what the hell I was going to do. I got sense to stop myself from doing something worst for which I would have cursed and blamed myself till my life."

Flashback:

"you won't have to see me also" His words were continuously repeating in her mind. She felt so restless and was sitting with closed eyes and holding her head that was paining too much. Once again affected by his sad look, she was frustrated with herself. She frustratingly move to and fro and then again she was getting flashes of few incidents.

"What the hell is happening?" She murmured. She heard some voices.

After few minutes, when she wasn't able to handle more she thought to take medicine for headache and sleep. She opened the drawer of bedside unknowingly and tried to find.

"What!! It used to be in this drawer na? Where are medicines?" She thought.
Then she got up and searched in other drawers and threw things here and there is frustration as she was not getting it and one after other flashes and voices kept roaming inside her mind.
Not finding in bed side drawer, she moved toward dressing table. She opened the drawers and then suddenly her eyes lift toward mirror. She sees herself and another flashes appears in front of her eyes.

She sees herself hugging Sanskar from his back who was standing in front of mirror and getting ready while talking on his phone. He looked at her surprisingly.

"Sanskar, you can't change right? Can't you do one thing? Either talk on phone or get ready?" She heard her own voice.

He gave her smile signing " it's important." She shook her head and tied his tie adjusting his collar. He wrapped his hand around her waist and kissed her forhead with smile looking at her. She smiled feeling the kiss.

She opened her eyes with jerk breathing heavily. She looked away and tried to find her medicine. Her head felt so heavy. She check few other drawers and threw everything out. Then only something falls on her feet. She looked at it confusingly and bent down to lift it from floor. It was their marriage album.

She opened it and sees the pics. Then she saw few more other photos. One after other, each holding some story. All the memories started roaming in her mind.

"I am not your husband.. I.. I.. mean I am your fiance."
"I want to marry you Sanskar."

"I didn't marry you for my physical needs. I know your condition and its not your fault that you didn't remembered anything but never force yourself to remember. It can affect your health dont, stress yourself please."

"You are very nice Sanskar. I don't know why I have loved you but I am luckiest because you love me."

"I want to be yours."

"Swara, I told you, you have all your time to accept this relationship and you shouldn't be forced to do all this.".

"In my life, the only reason to smile is you Sanskar. When you are with me, I want all of you. Your heart, your mind, your focus everything should be me. I will hear everything and anything you share for hours but just be with me." cup his face."

"I love you Sanskar. I love you so much."

"I love you Swara."

All those memories came in front of her eyes. She remembered each and every moments. Everything was getting clear and her eyes started to filled with tears. She fell on the her knees.
The forehead kisses when he used to leave for office. His love, his care for her. His embrace which felt like heaven and most safe place for her. Their confession, their moments, she remembered everything.

Then suddenly her mind diverted toward recent incidents...

"I hate you Sanskar Maheshwari!! Just stay away!!"

"You used me for your physical needs."

"You used me for satisfaction of your lust."

"If you tried to come close to me. I will just go away from here. I am here just till divorce."

Her hands were shivering which she placed on her mouth in shock realising what a blunder she did and what happened in these few days. The tears ran down her cheeks uncontrollably.

She squeezed her eyes tightly and started crying bitterly. Slowly she started feeling week and everything started spinning. She sees darkness slowly surrounding her and she was loosing her consciousness. She tried to hold herself and get up from floor. She walk toward door to go to Sanskar but as she came near bed taking a couple of steps, she couldn't move further as she felt sharp pain in her head due to sudden stress. She hold the edge of the bed and sat on bed and then she fell unconsciously on the bed not before calling his name in mere whisper.

Next morning, Swara woke up feeling sunlight on her face. She didn't know what happened then only she remembered everything what happened last night. Her eyes yet again filled with tears. Suddenly she thinks about Sanskar and got up from bed. She rushed out toward his room. She entered inside his room but didn't find him there.

"Ma'am? You here?" Maria asked as she sees her.

Swara turned around.
"Maria, Sanskar? Where is he? Did you see him?" Swara asked restlessly.

Maria gets confused still she answered.

"Yes ma'am, Sir has left for Jaipur for some meeting."

"What? When did he go?" Swara asked.

"It's been more than an hour ma'am. He must have board the flight till now. But what happened ma'am? Is everything alright?" Maria asked.

Swara heard it and get disheartened. She composed herself a bit and nodded.

"Yeah, nothing. Did he informed when will he come?" Swara asked further.

"Tonight or may be by tomorrow. He didn't say much." Maria asked.

Swara gets sad.

"Ma'am, You are fine na?" Maria asked looking at her confusingly.

"Yeah, I am fine. You can do your work Maria." Swara said with small smile and left from there.

She went to their room and everything what happened in these few days flashes in her mind. She remembered what she told him and how she hurt him.

"I am sorry Sanskar." She whispered closing her eyes and a tear slide down from her eyes.

Flashback end.

"I wanted to apologise to you. I wanted to talk to you but you had left to jaipur. I just wanted to hear your voice but I didn't even have guts to call you feeling so guilty for what I have I done.
The next evening when you came, I tried to talk to you but you didn't wanted to. I knew whatever you did, it's all because of me only. I only hurt you so much so, I deserved that. Just your ignorance did hurt me so much then I can't even imagine the pain I gave to you Sanskar. I wanted to say a lot but I didn't felt courage to face you.

Flashback:
"Please Sanskar, listen to me one. atleast hear me please." Swara said in heavy voice looking at him as he left from there. A tear fell from her eye. She felt guilty for hurting him and she knew,she was responsible for it that he was distancing himself and hearing about the divorce from him gave rise to a sudden pain to her heart. She pressed her lips to stop herself from breaking down. She needed to talk to him. She goes behind him but he has already closed the door. The light was already turned off.

Swara blinked and controlled her tears.
" It's ok Swara, he must've tired. Yeah, I will talk to him tomorrow morning and everything will be fine. Yeah." She wiped her tears away and went to their room.

Flashback end:

"Then I thought to talk to you next day but then again you had left. I wanted to tell you that I regained my memory and apologize to you for everything facing you because If I had guts to accuse you and spat out all those stupid things to you then I must have courage to admit and accept your punishment whatever you want. I waited for you and tried to talk but you seemed really busy and I felt ignored by you. I am not blaming you for that, I.. I know, it's all because of me. I was responsible for everything. You were just staying away from me because of my own behaviour. I deserved that. I just felt a part of your pain what I must have gave you because I know you must be suffering from the worst. You cared for me even I was behaving so harsh toward you.

In these two days, I was trying to get any one chance to correct everything what I messed up totally but I couldn't because either you were busy or away from me. And today, I couldn't hold myself. The guilt inside me was killing me and I thought that whatever happened, I will talk to you.

Flashback:
Swara went to Karma Industry. She went to his cabin directly. She was about to open the door when she heard Aryan's voice and get confused. And then she heard their conversation. She felt so broken hearing Sanskar that divorce papers are ready. Her eyes got teary and she rushed from there and came back home.

Flashback end.

"I went there only to get what? That, you are all set to divorce me. I thought, I will clear out everything because I just wasn't able to hold your ignorance anymore. I was feeling suffocated, everytime you looked away but what I heard broke me, Sanskar. And here, you came with Aryan and these divorce papers!!!" She said with tears falling from her eyes.

Sanskar was listening her as she said everything. His eyes also got wet. Yeah, he cared about her. Knew about her health that's what Maria used to inform him everytime he asked but knowing about her inner situation? No, he didn't know. As, in insecurity and fear of getting more pain, he stayed away from her and other side, she was dying in her own guilt.

"Sanskar, I know I did worst to you. I gave you so much pain and hurt you a lot with my words. Once you said, everything what i see, may be my Illusion and I just wish that I should have lived in illusion only so that I couldn't be the reason of your pain. I don't want anything but you Sanskar. I want to live with you. Your presence and love is enough for me. Please forgive me for whatever I did or if you want to punish me, I am ready but I can't accept to go away from you, neither I can handle your ignorance. It pains a lot. Please don't leave me. I don't want to go anywhere. I don't want divorce. I can't live without you Sanskar. I want to live with you for the rest of life. I know I did so much wrong but don't hate me please. I will die...." She was saying all this cryingly and tears falling from her eyes when she felt a sudden pull by her waist toward him and felt his lips against hers.

She squeezed her eyes shut and her hand pressed agaist his chest with a sudden pull. He cups her face, moving her hair strands away from her face while he was holding her close by her waist and kissed her. The kiss was slow yet passionate, filled with love. He pulled her closer and his hand moved from her face behind her head. His fingers entangled with her hair and he ruffled it. Her hand slowly moved from his chest toward his shoulder and clutched her fist. She also responded and kissed him back.

After a few minutes, they break the kiss breathing heavily. He put his forehead agaist hers. Their breathe fall on each other faces, feeling each other so close with their eyes closed.

"I am sorry Swara. In my pain, I ignored you and didn't even heard you. I didn't even know what you were going through. Yes, I was hurt but I just don't understand how I couldn't see what you were trying to convey and misinterpreted. I am really sorry Swara." Sanskar said in whispering tone and looked at her.

"No, you are just too nice to do anything wrong. It's all because of me. I am sorry. Please forgive me." Swara said with teary eyes.

Sanskar cups her face gently by his both hand and wipes her tears away with his thumbs.

"Swara, it was just a situation. You didn't remember anything then you would have thought betrayed. You were right at your place. Yes, I was hurt by your words but I also knew that it wasn't your fault. I just felt pain of loosing you much more because living without you is too hard for me that my heart was still not ready to accept that you will leave and go away from me. You weren't wrong, it's just because our situation wasn't right." Sanskar said.

"Still Sanskar I hurt you and I..." Swara tried to say but he interupted.

"Shh!! Don't blame yourself for anything Swara. And I don't want to go away from you, neither I wanted to let you go Swara. I was doing that just for happiness because you are most important for me. More than anything, more than anyone. I can do anything for your happiness." Sanskar said.

" But my happiness is you Sanskar. I lost myself but my heart knew I was loosing something really precious to me. I was too blind to see the reality when you tried to clear things to me. If I would have lost you in my stupidity then it would have killed me each and every moment. You are too selfless Sanskar and Always think about others, then why didn't you think about me? All those moments I spent with you wasn't a lie that you couldn't trust me that I loved you and still do. My heart beats for you." Swara said.

"I trust you Swara. But I couldn't take risk with your health. my heart felt you loved me but my mind always forced me to believe that you love Aryan. I couldn't do anything rather accepting my mind ignoring voice of my heart as you also wanted the same. I am sorry that I unknowingly hurt you but now, I am with you Swara and now when you are with me, everything is fine. I got everything. I don't want anything else." Sanskar said looking into her eyes.

"I promise I won't let you go even if you want. You are bound to me Mrs. Swara Sanskar Maheshwari." He said further.

Swara heard it and smiled with tears as she felt overwhelmed with emotions and hugged him tightly.

"I love you Sanskar." She whispered in heavy voice.

"I love you too Swara." He said hugging her back tightly closing his eyes.

To be continued...