[Hello, fleshie beans.

This chapter gets a bit intense so I'm giving a brief warning because I always do that when things get gory, yea for sure. I totally always do that. Because gore baaaad. But it taste good tho. also you all may hate me after this and Epstein didn't kill himself

Enjoy, fleshie beans.]

Stay Creepy :)

Chapter 52

Jeff's POV

The cabin felt too stuffy and suffocating for me to stay inside most of the day. The weather hadn't changed at all, but I couldn't stand being in that wooden house. That house is supposed to be my home, but right now it does not feel like it. It feels foreign, as does sleeping beside Ellie for the past couple of nights since I saw Death.

Although I tried desperately to forget everything he had told me, my subconscious is a dick. I can't help but dwell on his words in my downtime. When I'm not thinking of other things or doing anything, my mind wanders on that day, on that young boy's body, and then I grow paranoid. In my paranoia, I try to do things—anything to get my mind off of that corpse, off of the memory of Death's fervent, metallic gaze. I can't even bare to be outside, knowing that body was out there under the dirt, along with possibly whatever else there may be...

So when Ellie is gone for work, I leave the cabin and walk to the lake she took me to. That's the only place I can seem to feel relatively okay at. It hasn't been long, but now this place, this other forest, the cabin... Another place I should be feeling at home in, but all I feel is apprehension.

Even though this lake did calm me down some, not all of my worry was gone. Even as I splashed my face with cold freshwater, I couldn't snap away from my thoughts.

The signs and clues that Death warned me of, I've started to notice them.

Ellie is always wearing clothes that cover her whole body, even at night. She is always making sure most of her skin doesn't show. Whenever I try to flirt and play-fight with her, she is always shying away from me and holding down her sleeves, her shirt--whatever. And there's another concerning thing I've noticed.

She...talks to herself. Or at least I think she does. I don't think she knows I'm watching her or overhearing her when she talks to the air. Bitter words, an annoyed tone, tired sighs. I'd like to think that perhaps after all this time and after everything she's been through since I met her, maybe she's developed some quirks. But again, my subconscious is a dick and I can't help but feel like maybe someone is actually there, talking to her, someone that she can see and I can't. It freaks me out the more and more I think about it, but I can't help but think!

I groan aloud and fall back on the lake's gravel-shore. Why, why, why. Why did Death have to come and ruin my peace with all of that information? No, I'm not nervous about that. I'm nervous that some of it is true. Or all of it. God, every time I think things are going well in my life, shit happens. Every, time. Why, why, why.

I thought I was mad at Death at first, but now I'm just mad at myself. I'm mad at myself for becoming a paranoid wreck once again.

The silver-eyed entity hasn't returned since our last meeting, and I'm worried I screwed things between us. I've never seen him so downcast. He's always such a stiff, but those eyes...the way they looked at me...

I don't know where I am either. I don't know where this cabin is placed, what cities are near, what state this even is, if this is even the same country. Essentially, I have no way...out.

But I'm with Ellie. I don't have to run—shouldn't even feed the thought of running. She's my love, my Sunshine.

Yet I can't help but feel...that Death may have said some truth...and Ellie isn't telling me all of her truth.

I suppose there's only one way to find out.

...

By the time Ellie had come home from work, I was already settled in the cabin. I sat on the living room floor with some of her books surrounding me. Although I had taken up some reading before, right now I couldn't focus on the shortest of sentences. If anything, I just wanted to look like I was doing something other than muddling the day away with pressuring uncertainties.

Ellie walked through the door with a sigh and hung her jacket on the rack nailed to the wall. A long-sleeved shirt underneath. She looked down at me and gave a sweet smile, and my stomach got queasy because I suddenly became a mix of joyed and anxious. Joyed by her radiant smile as always, and anxious because I felt my joy was false. Yet I still can't help but give her a smile back.

"Hey there," she greeted in her soft voice.

"Welcome home," I said.

She took a seat right in front of me and placed a couple of books on her lap. Her expression became meek as she held the books tenderly and asked, "Do you have a favorite yet?"

"Um...well, I haven't read everything, but I guess?" I muttered.

"Which one?"

I didn't have an exact answer. Truth be told, I've read some but haven't grown very attached, at least not as attached as Ellie is. She's such a bookworm. I do love to see the way her eyes shine in awe and intrigue whenever I even mention books.

After scanning over the novels on the floor, I answered, "I suppose this one is my favorite."

I picked up a book and showed her. She took it and chuckled. "Aesop's Fables. A little bit of everything, huh."

With a smirk, I questioned her, "Do you have a favorite book?"

Giving me a sheepish grin, she rubbed her head and replied, "Well, that's a little hard for me to decide."

"Of course it would be, you booknerd," I teased. I was actually starting to feel a little better now.

She rolled her mismatched eyes and gave me a playful pat on the knee. "Well, I don't necessarily have favorites, but there's some books here that stand out to me a lot."

"Like?"

Bunching up her lips in thought, she scanned the books on the floor for an example. When she found her pick, she hummed and raised it up. The cover had a big beetle on it, with the title "Metamorphosis".

"Is that a book on insects? Really?"

"No, you dumby," she chuckled. "It's about a salesman who randomly wakes up transformed into a giant, hideous beetle."

I furrowed my brow. "Um, okay. Guess the author had some good originality."

Ellie smiled to herself, her awe not at all wavered by my reaction to that kind of story.

"It's actually very sad. He was the only breadwinner for his family, and after turning into a bug, they had to figure things out themselves. They worked and worked to keep up with the expenses, more and more tired. The man who got turned into a bug was a repulsive thing to them all now. The family—the sister mostly—tried their best to take care of him, hiding him away month after month in his old room, never letting him out. But in the end, he was far too much of a burden to them now as a wretched bug who couldn't even communicate. But his circumstance was out of his control. He didn't want to become some beetle that could only crawl and deteriorate as time went on. He longed to be loved and cared for again.

"As much as he tried, their love for him slowly faded. He couldn't believe their unspoken disdain for him. To them he was a horrid creature, no longer the hardworking man he once was. And then one night he starved to death. And the family was...relieved. They had changed, grew, matured—a metamorphosis. They moved away to start a new life, leaving behind his miserable, insect carcass...."

Ellie only stared ahead at the wall, eyes transfixed as if she could see that disgusting carcass—and she was fascinated by it. I thought maybe I couldn't snap her out of her trance.

"And that's how it all ends," she suddenly continues. "It's a brief story but it holds a lot of weight. If only things had been different, if only the family was more understanding, if only the man wasn't disturbed by some random misfortune. He didn't do anything wrong and died a lowly vermin, everyone he loved before despising him for becoming something he never intended to become. Yet even after all that neglect, he died still caring deeply for them. But everyone moved on, happy to forget such a grotesque monster they once called a son."

It was hard for me to respond to such a downcast summary. The look in Ellie's eyes was deep and sorrowful, almost as if she could relate. I didn't even want to disturb her as she gazed down at the beetle on the cover. All I could do was sit and share her silence as my anxious thoughts from earlier came back once again. I don't feel so good anymore...

Suddenly, bearing a smile on her porcelain face, she chirped, "Anyway, enough of that. How about dinner?"

At the mention of dinner, I totally forgot that I hadn't eaten anything all day. Not once did my stomach growl. And I was hesitant to tell her that I didn't have an appetite, but as she leaped up and hopped into the kitchen, I figured not to say anything. I guess I should probably eat anyway. If I can.

Ellie began gathering ingredients from the fridge or cabinets, meanwhile I just watched her by the doorway. As she crouched by the oven, she caught my gaze and asked, "Are you okay?"

I managed a small smile. "Yeah, I'm just, uh, you know, a bit tired."

Her eyes sparkled sweetly as she said, "Go ahead and rest on the couch then. I'll call you when everything is ready."

"No, I'd like to help if I can," I replied.

She looked a bit surprised but wasn't bothered by my offer. "Alright then. Help me chop the veggies then."

Without any more instruction, I went ahead and got to work. She handed me all the ingredients and I went to cutting them as she needed. As I started dicing, I stole a glance at her by the stove, turning things on and getting everything ready. She had her hair pulled up today, so the nape of her neck was exposed. Her skin was so pale and pristine. I hope the rest of her is like that when I ask her to show me.

And then I couldn't help but think about my worries all over again. How do I find out the truth without making things weird? What do I do or say? Am I really paranoid over something so bizarre as the idea of Ellie essentially being the new Zalgo? What a ridiculous idea! Although I've experienced stranger...

Besides, back in Illinois 3 years ago, when we first had to fight that demonic bastard, she almost became the enemy too. She was under his control, and it took a lot of persuasion and bruises to snap her out of it. But that situation was different. Now she's supposedly the new reign, which in that case is a lot worse.

Thinking about it now, Ellie has almost killed me plenty of times (how romantic), but somehow we managed to make things right. I mean, I doubt what Death told me is true, but if so, she wouldn't hurt me. After all we've been through, surely she couldn't even bring herself to do so. Surely...right?

In all my obsessive thinking, I didn't pay attention to where the knife was going, and ended up slicing into my finger while I was chopping. I cursed aloud immediately and reeled away as the knife clattered on the countertop. Ellie was quick to spin around and come to my side.

"Are you okay?" she asked me fervently.

I held my other hand under my bleeding finger and muttered, "Yeah, just a slip of my grip. I hope I didn't get any on the vegetables or anything."

"Don't worry about that. Here." She grabbed a towel and carefully covered my finger with it, pressing tenderly down onto it.

"Let me go get some stuff for that," she said.

I shook my head. "No, no, I can handle it. Go ahead and focus on dinner. I'll be okay, Sunshine." Hearing her nickname reassured her and she let me head to the bathroom to clean up. Well, there goes my attempt to ask her about any potential "marks".

Thankfully, the cut didn't go too far. All I had to do was run it under some water to help with the bleeding. As I rummaged in the cabinet under the sink, I heard Ellie turn on the kitchen faucet, probably to clean up whatever little blood I may have spilled. While I came back up with a pack of band-aids, I peeked out of the slightly ajar bathroom door to check on Ellie in the kitchen. I stood there for a moment, still, wondering just what she was doing.

She stood frozen in front of the kitchen sink, holding the small cutting board in her left hand. From here I could see only a few tiny dots of red on it, but that wasn't my concern. Ellie just...stood there, staring at it, I think. The faucet was running but she didn't move to wash the cutting board once. It took me another few seconds to notice the ever so slight movements of her hand trembling, like she was gripping it too tight. Is she okay...?

Suddenly, something red illuminated faintly underneath her black sleeve and she dropped the cutting board immediately. Wait...what was that? I couldn't make out a shape, but something glowed. Something glowed!

Before she could catch me staring at her, I quickly leaned away from the crack in the door and continued patching up my tiny cut. All the while I couldn't get my mind off of that strange, slithering glow. I stayed in the bathroom a few minutes more, leaning my head over the sink as I tried to hold back the queasiness that started up again in my stomach.

Something is there, under her sleeve. Something is there and Ellie is hiding it from me.

Dammit...

...

It was surprising that I actually managed to eat dinner. Afterwards, Ellie and I washed up, although she let me use the shower first. I waited in our bedroom for her to finish, doing nothing but staring at the wall ahead the entire time. When she entered the room, she was, of course, wearing a long sleeve night shirt and long pajama pants. I always thought she looked so cute like that. Now seeing it makes me nervous.

"Ugh, I'm so beat," she began, "I almost fell asleep in the shower."

She crawled into her spot beside me and pulled the blanket over her legs. When she realized I wasn't laying down with her, she patted my back and murmured, "Hey, what's up?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing, I'm just a bit sleepy," I managed an excuse.

Her eyebrows knit a bit as she remarked, "I know something is up. You have that vibe about you. Whatever is wrong, you can tell me."

No, I don't think I really can.

"Well," I started, almost in a whisper, "I...I've become a bit...homesick? I, uh, I've been thinking about everyone back at the mansion recently and, I guess I can't help but miss it."

With a gentle touch of her soft, little hand, she pressed into my arm and said, "We...can see them again, eventually."

"Really?"

"Once we finally have our home...yes, we can..."

What does that mean? How long would that take?

After a brief moment of quiet, I asked her, "You miss everyone too, right?"

Ellie squeezed my arm. "Well...yes...I do. What makes you ask that...?"

She hesitates her words too much...

I shook my palm and said. "I didn't mean anything by it, I just...we've got a lot of memories there. I guess I should've known you'd obviously miss them too. My bad."

Bearing a tender smile, she began to pull me down onto my back as she said, "Don't worry, you're just a bit tired. Let's get some rest, okay?"

Without another word, she turned out the light and then pulled the blanket over us. I felt her cuddle up against my side in the dark, while I could only lay there and stare up. And then she rested her hand on my chest, and I couldn't help but hold onto it, maybe just a little too tightly.

I just want everything to be okay.

...

It was difficult for me to sleep, as every time I dozed off, I would stir shortly after with my heart beating a bit faster than usual. Meanwhile, Ellie still slept soundly beside me, never disturbed once. I couldn't help but feel a little jealous.

I don't know how long it was that I stayed like that, just laying there unable to rest. Eventually, I got up to grab something to drink from the kitchen, making sure to be gentle with Ellie's sleeping figure.

From the kitchen I just poured myself a glass of water from the sink and nearly choked on it as I drank it too eagerly. I had to lean over the sink to get my bearings while the pain in my throat subsided. How could just drinking water feel so nauseous and difficult?

I'm thinking too much about this whole situation. I'm letting it get to my head. But whatever it is that glowed beneath Ellie's sleeve earlier didn't feel like my imagination. I mean, if I was imagining things out of paranoia, of all things, why would something come up then? Thinking like this is giving me a headache. So I chug down some more water, recklessly letting it spill a little from my chin.

I look out the window above the kitchen sink and gaze at the trees and brush outside, faintly illuminated by the moon. The memory of when Ellie started falling in love with me again after she lost her memories came back to me. Out on a random, moonlit, snowy night. Laying beside her as we looked at stars after being away for too long. I felt her and saw her come back to me, the Sunshine she always was. I wonder if that's how Ellie feels now looking at me, seeing me once again after all of our turmoil. That thought made me feel guilty, knowing that the peace she wanted so desperately for me was fading away again, blocked by my anxiety.

Subconsciously, I clutched onto my ring hanging on my collarbone. I don't want to betray Ellie's love and trust. I want all of this to work out as much as she does. That's all we've ever strived for since the day we met, since the day I first fell in love with her and dared to kiss her in her old bedroom back at her old home, when things were simpler. That kiss, that moment, started it all, and I want to continue it. I need to. I can't betray her.

But she's not giving me the whole truth. And there's only one way to find it.

Sucking in a deep breath, I put the glass away and head for our bedroom. At the doorway, I could see Ellie sleeping in the moonlight. Her back was facing me but the arm I needed to expose was available, the one that I saw something glow on. There it is. All I need to do is just peek and I'll finally get my answers.

Carefully, I stepped around to her side of the bed and crouched down. She's sound asleep, breathing stably. If I wasn't so on edge right now, I could appreciate how peaceful and beautiful her expression was. But I need to do this.

Ever so slowly (so slow that my arm began to hurt from keeping it up), I took hold of the edge of her sleeve and began to pull it away from her wrist. I got about an inch and a half or so before she stirred and turned around. I restrained a sigh and went around to my side of the bed now. Thankfully, the arm I aimed for was sprawled out on my empty space, wide open for me to continue. Again, I took a quiet, deep breath and pulled gently at her sleeve.

I was finally getting somewhere when I saw the corner of some marking on her inner forearm. When I got halfway through, that's when Ellie suddenly woke up and slipped her arm away from me. But by then it was too late.

It was only half the glimpse, but I could recognize the mark anywhere. They haunted my dreams many times. How could I forget. It was embed in his skin...

Zalgo's mouth was embed into her skin too.

By the time Ellie was conscious enough to realize what had happened, I had pushed myself off of the bed and fell to the floor. Her face was as pale as ever as she stammered, "Wh-What are you doing Jeff?"

"What am I doing—what is that?" I replied, on the verge of full on panic.

"What are you talking about?" Even now she's trying to cover it up?!

"I saw it! That fucking mouth is on your arm!"

"I-It's late, Jeff. Let's just go back to sleep—."

"I saw the damn thing! Why did you hide it? A-And before, it glowed. In the kitchen at dinner. It glowed—it's fucking alive!"

"Okay, okay, look!" She finally relented and pulled up her sleeve, and I couldn't help but flinch away at the sight. Oh my god, it really is there. It's there on her skin. It's real...!

"It's only a tattoo!" she said with a shakiness to her tone. "That's all it is, Jeff. There's nothing else to it."

"A tattoo?? Wh-Why would you have that? You know what it means! You know better than anyone!" I blurted.

"I...I..."

She couldn't come up with an answer—another excuse, another lie.

The memories of my torture at the SCP Foundation came flooding into my mind, no matter how much I wished to blank it out. I remembered those marks on Zalgo's arms—multiple. They'd glow and snap at me every waking moment of my agony. I couldn't help but ask...

"Is there more?"

Ellie shook her head gently, clutching onto her sleeve. But my gut told me it was another lie.

My whole body trembled as I got up from the floor and climbed onto the bed. Ellie inched away from me with an air of caution. That only made me feel worse.

"Please," I murmured, "tell me the truth. Is there more on you?"

"N-No," she replied quietly. But the way she hugged herself felt off.

"Ellie..."

"I-It's just one... H-Honest..." Her soothing voice was now warbling with fear. Her eyes were wide open, panicked, anxious. Like a cornered animal. She can't run from this now. I have her where I need her and must continue.

Before she could react, I grabbed onto her other arm to pull at her sleeve again. She retaliated and tried to pry my fingers from my grip and even pushed against my chest with her foot. No matter how hard she fought to get away, I kept holding on, determined to see everything she hid from me this whole time, to see Death's words become truth.

"Jeff, please! Let go!"

"I need to see!"

"Y-You're hurting me!" she cried, actual tears beginning to well up in her mismatched eyes (was I gripping her that hard?).

"Just let me see!" I demanded and yanked at the sleeve, hearing the pop of the stitching coming undone. But Ellie really wasn't having it. With all of our wrestling, I ended up clutching onto the collar of her night shirt to get a better handle on her.

After trying to pull away from me didn't work, Ellie resorted to trying to shove me away, even smacking my arm. Her voice became so much more terrified as she pleaded, "Jeff, please! Don't do this!" I knew she was holding back, but I knew I couldn't—shouldn't—hold back on her.

Fed up with her struggling, I threw her onto her back and got on her, putting all my weight, and limiting her movement. I still held onto her shirt, bunching it up so hard that I felt my fingers might break. In all of her struggling and screaming and pleading, my frustration was coming to its peak. Images of Zalgo's mouths flashed in my mind, and in my traumatized, hasty panic, I tore open the front of her shirt.

After that, Ellie stopped struggling. She just lay underneath me, staring up into my eyes, while my gaze focused on her bare chest, at the black mouth that lay there above her breast. It still held that knowing smirk same as the other one. All I could do next was look away as I contemplated this new revelation. Ellie sniffled and cried silently as she covered her chest with what remained of her shirt. In doing so, I caught a peek at one more mark on the other arm, just beyond the now stretched-out sleeve.

She lied to me. This whole time. Since she came back. She lied to me.

"How many others?" I muttered, unable to look at her eyes.

"Wh...What?"

"How many other mouths do you have?" I said louder this time, exasperation in my tone.

Ellie was hesitant at first, but relented and murmured, "There's...seven in total..."

Just like Zalgo.

I clutched harder onto the blanket beneath us and hung my head lower. I would feel bad feeling Ellie tremble beneath me if I didn't feel so utterly betrayed and devastated.

"Why," I started, "did you keep this from me? This whole time... Did you really think you could hide this forever...?"

"I just wanted to protect you—."

"BULLSHIT," I screamed, and a loud sob racked her entire body. "You know what they mean, what they are! How could you do this?"

"I didn't want this, please, Jeff, I didn't...!"

Every cell in my body quivered at my next words. "What do these make you, Ellie? You're not... You're him now...aren't you?"

"I didn't want this, I didn't want this...," she kept muttering quietly, desperately. Still, the resignation in her eyes told me everything.

Shaking my head, I got off of her and backed away. "No, no, you're not supposed to be...! You can't!"

"I-I'm not like him!"

"I saw the body out there!" I admitted. "That little boy! You did that! You put him there! You feed off of humans just like he did!"

"I'm not Zalgo!" she pleaded, like she wanted to believe it herself.

"You took his place," I said shakily. "You have to feed off of people like he fed off of me!"

"I-I know how much these mouths traumatized you. I know! B-But I swear to you, they won't change me. You have to believe me, please Jeff! I'd never do anything to hurt you! Please, believe me, please, please, please...!" Each word she uttered was weighed by sob after sob, and her face was so flushed with panic and sadness.

Desperately, she reached out to me, and even though I had backed away, she stumbled out of the bed after me and clutched onto my wrist. "Jeff, I beg you, please, believe me! I'd never hurt you! I'd rather die than even lay a scratch on you! I've done so much shit but I needed to survive—for you, for us! Please, you're all I have left, I'd never ruin that! Believe me! Please! I need you! Don't leave me again! Stay with me! Please, please, please...!"

She was rubbing her face against my hand now, her tears slipping between my fingers. I didn't know how to react or feel. All I could do was glower down at her as she sobbed on her knees. I could see the mouths with their damned smirks. As if they enjoyed this shit-show.

Quietly, so much so that Ellie barely heard it, I said, "Okay...."

Her crying toned down as she lifted her head and murmured, "Do...Do you believe me?"

I said nothing. All I did was press my palm against her cheek and wipe away a tear with my thumb. A relieved smile crossed her lips and she cradled my hand against her face like it was the only thing in the world. But strangely, I didn't feel anything as she sat there on her knees, holding onto the warmth of my hand on her face.

Without a word, I carefully slipped away to go to the kitchen. Ellie was confused at first, but stayed on the floor. After I had walked into the dark, she called out, "Jeff, what are you doing?"

When I came back, her puzzled expression made way for shock, and her face went as pale as ever. In my hand, I held a cleaver.

"J-Jeff...?" she called again, and I could see the twitch of her body getting ready to back up.

I took one step forward, and she scrambled against the bed. Another step and she got up to her feet. A third step and she was trying to slip around me to get to the bedroom door, but I caught her. I had her pinned against the wall while I wielded the cleaver in my other hand. Ocean and golden eyes shrouded in panic, she whimpered, "Whatever you're about to do, don't! I promise I can't hurt you! I would never! D-Don't use that...! Jeff? Jeff!"

Whenever Zalgo hurt me, the mouths would glow and undulate, laughing at me, sucking in every molecule of fear and pain that radiated from my body. They loved the tease, and when I bled every drop I had, they would come alive. Alive and bright and fiery red like a wild fire. Burning everything I had left, whatever that may had been.

"You won't hurt me...?" I asked.

She nodded frantically as she clutched onto my hand at her chest. And the mouth was right there, smiling at me, and I wondered if I would see it come alive once again.

I clutched the cleaver handle tighter. "Sunshine...you know I would never hurt you either."

Faster than I could even process, I raised the cleaver and swung it down onto my forearm. One hit was enough to get through half of my flesh, hitting bone. Ellie screamed in sheer horror as she watched my blood drip and spurt out between us, falling onto her clothes. My grip on her loosened a moment after as the nerves from the cut down were starting to lose touch.

Finally, I let out a scream once the pain hit me, and I staggered away. Crimson blood spilled over the wood plank floor, slipping in between the cracks.

Crimson blood spilling over cold, black cement.

"Jeff, why?!" Ellie shrieked.

"If a few drops of my b-blood, got one mouth going...wh-what happens if there's more?!"

Despite my overwhelming pain, I was able to summon up strength to slam the blade down on my arm again. But I missed the initial cut and ended up making a jagged one next to it.

"Stop it!" Ellie yelled.

The pain was beginning to shake my body, but I still held the cleaver tight in my other hand. With a howl, I raised it again to finally finish the job. Just as the blade was about to strike my arm, a dark wall of obsidian material came between the two. Ellie held one hand out, having sent up the small wall to block the cleaver. But then she crumpled to her knees again, holding her chest as she heaved and quivered. Through the fabric of her clothing, I could see different spots begin to light up with scarlet, pulsing at different tempos.

Pulsing at the sounds of my screams echoing off the cell walls.

"N-No," Ellie whimpered to herself. "I've fed you. I've done so much else. You can't have him....!"

I had dropped the cleaver and keeled over against the bed, but that wasn't going to stop me from seeing this pain through.

A pain for the mouths to lick at me again in my iron shackles.

I grabbed onto my pain wrought wrist...and began to pull at what remained. Tendons ripping. Bone crackling. Blood bubbling between my fingers. Muscle aflame with pain, screaming for me to stop. Ellie screamed for me to stop too. I screamed just as loud.

Screaming and screaming and screaming as the mouths laughed and he laughed and we all laughed at my pain too much to bear making me too numb to even be aware laughing and screaming laughing and screaming over and over and over and

Over and

Over

Over

over

As my mind was frantic with so many feelings, my fears didn't lie in my self-mutilation. I was only afraid for the mouths on Ellie's body that began to glow brighter and brighter, and the more she resisted, the stronger they'd shine. She clutched her head, pleading to some unseen things to make it stop.

"Not him! Never him!" she cried and gripped her hair.

I couldn't make my way to her. I was losing a lot of blood. I hadn't completed the cut so there was only a small bit of tissue still holding everything together. Yet it has done the job. Ellie was a seizing mess of struggle and feebleness. I didn't have to understand fully to know she was fighting them with everything she had. No, she isn't Zalgo. That bastard had embraced the mouths and their desire. Ellie is fighting them with everything she has—but she doesn't have much more strength left.

Shakily, I managed to reach for the cleaver on the floor. Ellie stole a glance at me and scrambled forward to attempt to stop me. When she reached her hand out to grab mine, I saw the mouth at her arm flash and shoot down to her hand, like a viper with prey in sight. She didn't notice it in time, and couldn't stop it either, as the hand reached out and took a bite. I moved away in time so it barely grazed the skin at my knuckles, but I was disturbed nonetheless. Ellie reeled back and restrained her hand.

I finally managed to grab the cleaver and Ellie lurched forward for fear I'd use it again. But I wasn't going to hurt myself anymore. I didn't need to.

"You won't hurt me...," I croaked. "...but they will."

Ellie shook her head, still holding herself as the mouths were nearly engulfing her in crimson light, snapping their fucking teeth.

"Just like him, like Zalgo," I continued. "The mouths want...what they want. They'll take it in the end, they'll take everything. I feel it, you know... Their aura—it's the same as in SCP. They want me and they'll take me piece by piece again."

Ellie could only cry as she sat in her place and soaked in every word. I clutched the cleaver handle hard as I hissed woefully, "You can't control them...no matter how much you love me."

And suddenly there was no light in Ellie's beautiful eyes as she came to terms with the reality of her burden. Tears still fell but it felt like her eyes were unable to glitter. It was a terrifying sight. I didn't want to see it anymore.

"Leave," I muttered. She only responded with silence. "Don't make me say it again...," I added.

With a trembling hand, Ellie reached out for my shoulder—reached out to me one last time.

She froze still after I chucked the cleaver right by her head and it lodged itself into the wall behind her. Little droplets of my blood stuck to her porcelain cheek and mixed with her running tears.

"LEAVE," I bellowed with what energy I had left and that was all it took. With one last whimper, Ellie got up and sprinted out of the bedroom. And I could hear her run out of the cabin, not sparing a moment to falter a single step.

Where was she going to go? What was she going to do? I didn't know, couldn't know, couldn't muster up the energy to even think properly. All I did was lean against the bed as I sat in a pool of my own blood and waited there. For what, I didn't know.

I didn't see or hear Ellie for the rest of the night. No animals crying or crickets singing outside either. The woods outside were entirely silent, and I didn't know if I liked it or not.

I stared at the floor ahead of me throughout the night, not taking my eyes off of a single spot where the wood had been scratched. Gradually, as time went on, that scratch began to get blurrier and blurrier as my blood loss was finally affecting me. The sun was rising by the time my vision was completely hazed over and I could barely move my pinkie finger.

Thoughts of Ellie were coming back to me. The image of her distraught face and the shrill sound of her cries kept replaying over and over again. And I thought of her smile and laughter and her beautiful mismatched eyes and her sweet kisses and the way her eyes light up when she reads a book and the way she looks at me like I'm her everything. And it was once again that my chest tightened at the familiar realization that I had lost her once again. My Sunshine...

It was dawn outside when I heard his voice.

"You found out," Death said in almost a whisper. I couldn't respond.

I could hear the click of his shoes against the floor as he walked up to my side. His shadow crossed over me as he crouched down. I could feel his eyes on me, how silver they shine. For a second, I expected him to say something along the lines of "I told you so". Although he probably could've, he didn't do anything like that. Instead, he took hold of my mutilated arm and for the first time ever, his skin wasn't freezing cold. I could feel the warmth from his fingertips seep into my torn muscle and broken bone. It didn't feel so bad anymore.

While he held onto my arm, he began to grab me underneath my other. I didn't object, mainly because I was immobile, but also I didn't want to be in this pool of blood, in this bedroom, in this forsaken cabin I was supposed to call home. Death wrapped an arm around me as he started to lift me up to my feet. I could scarcely feel anything in my legs.

He staggered a bit from holding me up alone, but he managed. Slowly, he began making his way with me out of the room, and I noticed the trail of blood I left behind. What felt like an hour was probably minutes as Death carried me through the living room and through the front door. It felt pretty good outside. The blur of orange and purple and pink in the sky looked nice too. Why is he taking me outside...

"Would you...like to give a goodbye?" he asked hesitantly.

I glanced at the cabin. I couldn't speak. I still felt some leftover blood drip down my legs. I felt the gentle early morning breeze. I couldn't say goodbye.

The only thing I could bring myself to do was clutch onto Death tighter and bury my face into his cloak. There, I could feel tears slip easily from my tired eyes, but I didn't sob or make any noise. Yet Death knew and cradled my head with a careful hand.

With nothing else left here at this lonely cabin, Death continued to hold me close as he took me away. To where, I don't know. Everything was black. Maybe I was unconscious. I don't know. All I know is that I was away from that other place, a place I was supposed to call home, where I was meant to begin again. Where Ellie could've began again too.

There's no beginning anymore, just going and what's gone.

And my everything is gone.