Claire was my older sister. Today she came back to me after a long time of not seeing her. She asked me to tell her story.

Claire Vandenboren was the greatest sister in the world. In the house, she was my best friend. My mother and I didn't have a close relationship and our new stepdad hated us. He often did crazy stuff like hide food from us, sell our stuff, call us names. It was always my older sister who helped me in this time.

Claire was 13 and just started at our new school. She was in middle school and I was in Elementary. My sister wasn't popular. She was skinny, had lots of pimples, thick frizzy hair that was hard to comb through. The day I saw her get bullied for the first time broke my heart. She was walking to the library and before I could say something to her four girls surrounded her. I stopped and watched. One began to chant, "Look it's Claire, ew ew ew ew ew. Ugly Claire." Claire walked passed them and whispered something.

I ran up to her. "Hey! Are you okay?" I asked because she had this calm expression on her face like everything was under control."

She smiled at me, arching her eyebrows down making a face like she was ever so cool. "I'm fine. Did you see those girls? They're so dumb." She laughed.

I guess I knew she wasn't okay because her hands trembled. Before I could ask anything else she strutted off into the library like everything was okay. I was almost convinced she was fine but it was hard to tell.

***

Things were getting bad at home since our mother became a full-time manager and our stepdad was like a house dad. I can honestly say, my sister and I were always afraid to eat until mother would come home. When our stepdad would smoke a cigarette outside, we'd quickly fix something to eat. My sister always made me noodles and herself a sandwich. I'd share with her too once we got in the room. One night my sister left the noodle packs out on the table and our step dad started cursing out loud and slamming things against our door. We shared a room. We didn't have too, but my sister and I stuck together like that. We had each other and no one was going to take that away from us. So I thought...

***

Months pass, things weren't getting better, and my sister developed a new habit. One she tried her best to keep from me but I saw it. The slashes and cuts on her wrist. I didn't know how she had got them until one day I saw her do it. She thought I was asleep that night. She was just sitting at her study desk at 4 am crying and saying things to herself calling herself names. I saw her take out a blade like object and slide it across her bare wrist ever so quickly. This made her start to cry more but it wasn't from the blade pain, it was from the pain inside. the reason I didn't stop her was because I was scared and sad at the same time. I was too shy to ask her what was going on.

At school things seemed to get worse for her. She missed classes. Sometimes even left school, and she's been called names like, "emo arms, or wrist slasher," and other stupid names middle schoolers would call her. When I was home, my sister and I became distance. She spent most time in one of the vacant rooms in the house or in the bathroom. No one was making me noodles anymore when our stepdad left. Mom and Claire argued a lot and it seemed Claire didn't want much to do with me anymore.

***

Claire got her own room when she turned 16. That's when things became really bad. She got kicked our of school. Too much of skipping classes. She spent most time at home watching tv shows and listening to music. Claire also wrote poems. I would read them. Some made me cry, some made me laugh. Claire wrote that she'd love to escape one day and just go somewhere like France. You see, my sister had plans. She wanted to be a doctor but in school, she couldn't take the bullying. Her poems also talked about how no one loved her. How mom ignored her and how our stepdad was a low life punk. Nothing about me, though.

Claire barely talked to me. I kinda felt that I lost her. I had my friends but when I would go home, I'd have no one. I can't say that me and mother had the closest relationship. She spent too much time with the low life. She ignored my problems and Claires.

***

Claire was about to turn 17 in a week. That was the week her and my stepdad got in a fight. You see, he had got mad at Claire for drinking soda and Claire lashed out on him. She called him this and that. Mom was home that day and told Claire that she was grounded for not respecting her elders. That was also the week Claire's best friend ended their friendship. Things were just going down hill. That was also the week I saw Claire's arm. You see, before she'd always wear sweaters but that week I went in the bathroom and found out that my sister had been doing so much self-harm. The day before her birthday I finally had the courage to ask her why did she do that. Her answer was this.

"It's stupid. I don't know why I do it. I just don't want to be here anymore." She looked at me and began to cry. She hugged me super tight. "I'm so sorry."

I told her that everything was going to be okay. That things would get better.

***

The next morning, I found out what I had said to her, was nothing. What hurts the most is that she didn't say goodbye. She thought no one loved her, but I loved her the most. I still loved her and she was my sister. Someone out there believed in her, loved her, wanted to see her on her 17th birthday.

Claire reached her limit the night before her birthday. It was too late to save her. The pills stopped her heart. It's ironic that my stepdad found out first when he thought she was being a bum for oversleeping. I was at the store helping my mom pick out a cake that morning before anyone woke her up. We were at the store, and someone called my mother. My mother had a breakdown in the store. I knew what had happened before my mom even said anything.

Claire was dead, clenching a note in her cold hand. Do you know what the note said? It said: Happy birthday to me:) Hopefully, my new life is better than the first life...Hope to see you all again, in a better life where we all love each other and there's no hate.

I didn't cry. I was too sad to cry. I know it sounds weird but when you reach that point, something really must have broken your heart. I can't look at my mom the same. I can't tolerate my stepdad, I can't look at the teachers and principles who didn't help stop the bullying at school. I couldn't control my fist when I walked passed all her old classmates that bullied her. I couldn't walk past her best friend without yelling, "WHERE WERE YOU WHEN SHE NEEDED YOU." I was pissed at the world. I was mad at everyone, but I was mostly mad at myself. They tell me it wasn't my fault but there's always a way. I could've stopped it, couldn't I? Why? Why do people feel the need to mess with another person's life, especially if they're going through enough at home. Words hurt, words are dangerous, and words kill. That's why you should be careful about what you say. Next time you feel the need to taunt someone, think about it...you could be taking someone's sister/brother away from them. Suicide is out there. Suicide is real.

As I write this, Claire stares at me with a smile. She tells me, that she can't wait to see me again. I can't wait to see her either. Me and Claire hope this message really means something. And if you're and have ever bullied someone, Claire is coming for you:)

***

*Message from author"

Guys this is based on a true story (except the ghost parts) from someone I know. I used Claire's name instead of the real person. The real person who is Claire's character is actually okay, although she has been close to suicide. She's come over her thoughts and self-harm and I'm extremely proud of her! She just wanted to get the message out there that suicide is real and is happening everyday so be careful with your words and if you have a friend considering suicide, always try your best to be there for them.

Ms_Horrendous~