A Christmas Story - part 1 

http:\/\/www.listen-to-english.com 

2007 

These podcasts are written and produced by Peter Carter, Birmingham, England,[email protected] 

Welcome... 

..to Listen to English, the podcast website for people learning English. 

The podcasts on this site will help you to improve your English vocabulary and pronunciation and your listening skills. There are two short (3 to 5 minutes) podcasts every week, in clearly spoken English. Many of them are linked to grammar and vocabulary notes, or to exercises or quizes. You can download the podcasts to your computer, or subscribe using a programme such as iTunes or Yahoo, or simply listen to them by clicking the Flash player on the web page beneath each episode. You can put the podcasts onto your iPod or MP3 player, and listen to them on your way to school or work. The full text of each podcast is on this site (and will also appear on your iPod screen), so you can look up the meanings of words that you do not understand in a dictionary. Then close your eyes and listen! Have fun! 

A Christmas Story - part 1 

Friday 21 December 2007 

[This podcast is longer than normal. The first part of the transcript is below. The second part is here and can also be download as a pdf file.] 

When you learn a new language, often it is the little words that cause the big problems. I am learning German. The long words are not a problem, which is good because German has lots of long words. If I find a long word, and I don't know what it means, I can look it up in a dictionary. No, it is the short words that confuse me in German - words like "doch" and "schon" - what exactly do they mean? How can I use them? 

Mariano has sent me an e-mail. He asks, please can I make a podcast about two little words that cause him problems. The two words are "still" and "yet". In this podcast, I shall try to explain how we use "still" and "yet", and I will tell you a Christmas story. 

First, I will tell you what I am not going to do. I am not going to give you dictionary definitions of "still" and "yet". You can look the words up in a dictionary yourself. You do not need a podcast to do this for you. And I will not tell you about all the different meanings that "still" and "yet" have. The podcast would be very long, and use up all the spare memory in your iPod if I did that. Instead, I will take one of the common meanings of "still" and "yet" and explain to you how we use the words. 

When I use the word "still", I want you to think of the words "nothing has changed". Like this. Kevin is unwell. He telephones his boss to say that he cannot come to work. The next day Kevin is still unwell. That means, he was unwell yesterday. He is unwell today. Nothing has changed. He is still unwell. 

And how about "yet"? How do we use "yet"? "Yet" means "so far", or "until now". We generally use it in questions, and in negative sentences. What is a negative sentence? It is a sentence with "not" or "none" or "no" or another negative word in it. So, Kevin's boss asks him a question, "Are you better yet?" And Kevin replies with a negative sentence, "No, sorry, I am not better yet." 

You have probably guessed this already - very often you can use "not yet" and "still not " interchangeably. Kevin says, "I am not better yet". Or he could say. "I am still not better". These two sentences mean the same. 

Are you very confused? Are you thinking, why am I listening to this podcast? I understood about "still" and "yet" before the podcast began. Now I don't understand at all. Never mind. Sit back and listen to a story about a typical English Christmas. 

Theres none so queer as folks 

Monday 17 December 2007 

In today's podcast, we are going to meet three English expressions. The first one is "to get away with something". If you do something bad, and nobody discovers what you did, or they do not find out that it was you who did the bad thing, then we can say that you got away with it. For example, if you murder someone, and the police do not catch you, then you have got away with it, or got away with murder. 

And the second expression is "to make a fuss". "To make a fuss" means to draw a lot of attention to something - for example, to complain about something that you do not like, or write letters to the newspapers about it, and tell everyone about it - in fact to shout about it, so that everyone turns round to look. 

And the third expression ? Well, you will have to wait until the end of the podcast. 

Here is a story, which has been a big story in the British newspapers recently. 

It started five years ago, in 2002. Anne and John Darwin lived in a village on the north-east coast of England. John had a hobby. He liked exploring the sea coast near his home in a small boat called a kayak. One day he set off for a kayaking expedition. The weather was good and the sea was calm. But John did not return. The police and volunteers searched everywhere for him, without success. John had disappeared. A few weeks later, wreckage from John's kayak was found on the rocks. The police concluded that John had had a tragic accident and that he was dead. 

Five years later John walked into a police station in London. He told them that he thought he was a missing person. He could not remember anything that had happened in the last five years - where he had lived, what he had done. The police however were suspicious. It was strange that John could remember who he was, and where he came from, but not what he had done in the last 5 years. And when the police tried to contact John's wife, Anne, they found that she had recently sold her house and gone to Panama, in Central America. 

The newspapers published stories about the missing kayak man who had miraculously returned when everyone thought he was dead. Then a woman decided to type the words "Anne" "John" and "Panama" into the Google search engine on her computer. She found a picture of Anne and John, taken a year ago. It it was on the website of a company which helps people who want to go and live in Panama. And then other people who had seen John during the last 5 years contacted the police. Some of them, it appears, knew that John was officially dead, but they did not say anything to anyone at the time because they did not want to make a fuss. (This is typical British behaviour. We do not like to make a fuss. So we do not complain about bad food in restaurants, we do not complain about poor service or high prices in shops, and we pretend not to notice when we meet someone who is supposed to be dead.) 

For at least the last four years, Anne Darwin knew that her husband was alive. He was in fact living in a small flat in the house next to her house. He built a secret door between his bedroom and hers. He grew a beard, but a lot of the time, he did not hide. He did jobs around the house. He took the dog for walks on the beach. A few people thought they recognised him, but they thought "It is none of our business. Let's not make a fuss." 

John and Anne got away with it for five years. If John had not walked into a police station last month, perhaps they might have got away with it for ever. They might have moved to Panama and lived the rest of their lives in that country. 

Why did they do it? The police say that Anne used John's alleged death to claim money from an insurance company. And John had debt problems at the time he disappeared. The police have arrested Anne and John and charged them withfraud. 

And now for our third expression. My mother came from the north-east of England, like the Darwins. When she heard of some peculiar or stupid thing which people had done - like pretending to be dead - she would shake her head and say "Eeee, there's none so queer as folks", which is Newcastle dialect for "there is nothing as strange as people". 

Talking. talking ... 

Friday 07 December 2007 

Valeriy, who lives in Russia, has sent me an e-mail. He asks whether I can make a podcast about these words - "say", "tell", "speak" and "talk". 

Well, that is easy, I thought. So I sat down to write a podcast about when we use "say" and when we use "tell" and so on. And after an hour, I realised that I could not do it. English is too complicated. There are far too many words in English and there are so many different ways of using them. So I thought, I will not try to explain everything. I shall just explain a few things - the most important things. I will write a few rules, and if my listeners learn these rules, they will be right most of the time. Please remember that "say", "tell" and "speak" are irregular verbs. They go like this - I say, I said, I have said; I tell, I told, I have told; and I speak, I spoke, I have spoken. "Talk" is regular - I talk, I talked, I have talked. Everybody clear? Then let's begin! 

I want you to imagine that you are reading a comic book, about Batman perhaps. In many of the pictures there is a bubble coming from the mouth of one of the characters. It contains the words which the character is saying. We often call this a "speech bubble". 

Here is my RULE NUMBER 1. If you can imagine a speech bubble, with words in it, then you can always use the word "say"; like this :- 

Kevin says, "I am going to the football match on Saturday". 

Batman says, "I have only five minutes to save the entire planet." 

Joanna says that she will go to the supermarket tomorrow. 

Kevin says to Joanne, "Is it OK if I go to the football match on Saturday?" 

When we want to explain who we say something to, we always use the word "to" - I said to him that I would be late. We NEVER say "I said him that I would be late". 

And here is RULE NUMBER 2. If there is no speech bubble with words in it, then you can use "talk" or "speak". 

I will speak to my boss tomorrow about whether I can take a day off work. 

Kevin talks to George about the football match. 

Today, our teacher is going to talk about irregular verbs in English. 

So you see, "speak" and "talk" can tell us who is speaking or talking; who the speaker is talking to; and what sort of thing the speaker is talking about. But they do not tell us about the exact words which the speaker uses. There is no speech bubble with words in it. Very often, "speak" and "talk" mean exactly the same, and we can use them interchangeably (that is, we can replace one of them with the other). I think that we use "talk" more often than we use "speak". 

And how about the last word which Valerij wants me to explain - the word "tell"? Here comes RULE NUMBER 3. "Tell" means "give information". And we can use "tell" when there is a speech bubble, and also when there is no speech bubble, provided that we mean "give information". Nearly always, when we use "tell", we also say who the speaker is talking to. Like this:- 

Joanne tells her boss, "I have nearly finished the report that you asked for". 

Kevin tells Joanne that he wants to go to the football match on Saturday. 

David told me about his holiday. 

He told me that he went to Spain, and that he had a great time there. 

John told me how to find his house. 

You asked me a question; now I will tell you the answer. 

I looked at my watch and told him the time. 

At the end of the school day, the teacher told the children a story. 

I hope this helps you, Valeriy. Please keep sending me your comments and questions, either by e-mail or by leaving a comment on the web site. I shall do my best to reply to all of them. There is a vocabulary note attached to the podcast today, and also a quiz, so you can test how well you understand the difference between "talk", "speak", "say" and "tell". 

Mr Trump's Golf Course 

Tuesday 04 December 2007 

We go to Scotland again today for our podcast. But first I must introduce you to an English expression - to turn something into something else. What does "turn into" mean? The easiest way of explaining is to give you an example. Do you remember the fairy story about a handsome prince who had an argument with a wicked witch? The wicked witchturned the prince into a frog - that means, she waved her magic wand, and muttered some magic words, and the handsome prince became something completely different, a frog. Later in the story, a beautiful princess finds the frog, and when she kisses the frog, it turnsback into the handsome prince. Naturally the handsome prince and the beautiful princess get married and they live happily ever after, because that is what always happens in fairy stories. So, girls, if you are looking for a husband, and you don't fancy online dating, try kissing a few frogs. One of them may turn into a handsome prince. Maybe. 

Now that you know what "turn into" means, we can get back to our podcast story. You may have heard of Mr Donald Trump. He is American and he is very, very rich. He is a property developer - that means, he buys land and builds new buildings, like flats and offices, on it. Generally, they are grand and expensive buildings, for rich people. Mr Trump is very intersted in golf. He owns several golf courses in the United States. They are, naturally, the biggest, the best and the most beautiful golf courses in the world. 

A few years ago, he decided that Scotland - a country which is already full of golf courses - needed a Trump golf course. So he bought land beside the sea near the city of Aberdeen, to turn into a golf course. In fact, he planned two golf courses, a golf academy, a luxury hotel, 1000 holiday homes and 500 houses. And all of these things would, of course, be the best in the world. 

Mr Trump and his people then spent several months persuading people in Aberdeen that this would be a wonderful thing. And they were very successful - lots of people agreed that what Aberdeen needed was Mr Trump and his money. But there were two problems. The first was that the land contained a Site of Special Scientific Interest - that means, it contained plants, birds or animals that need to be protected. If Mr Trump turned this land into a golf course, it would damage the environment. So many conservation groups decided to oppose Mr Trump's plans. 

The second problem was called Michael Forbes. Mr Forbes has a small farm in the middle of the area which Mr Trump wants to turn into a golf course. He lives there with his mother, who is 83. It is not a pretty farm. There are lots of old tractors and bits of rusting farm machinery. But it is Mr Forbes farm, and he does not want to sell. Mr Trump's lawyers have offered him money, and more money. But Mr Forbes has said no; and his mother has said that she will leave her home in hercoffin, but not before. 

And last week something very surprising happened. The local authority - in a very close vote - rejected Mr Trump's plans. The conservation lobby cheered. The golf course lobby are dismayed. Mr Trump is very annoyed. But he will not give up. The newspapers report that he has just bought a large area of land in Northern Ireland, and wants to turn it into a golf course. 

Islands 

Friday 30 November 2007 

Andy Strangeway is a painter and decorator. He lives in Yorkshire in the north of England. When I say that he is a painter, I do not mean that he paints pictures. No; he paints peoples houses, and puts up wallpaper in their sitting rooms. That is his job; it is what he does for a living. But when he isn't painting doors and windows, Andy collects islands. Let me explain. 

Scotland is a land of mountains and islands. There are 284 mountains over 3000 feet high (that is, a bit less than 1000 metres high). Some people who are reallykeen on walking and climbing have climbed all of them. There are also 162 islands of more than 40 hectares in Scotland. Several years ago, Andy Strangeway decided to go to all of them. And this year he visited the last islands on his list. As far as he knows, no-one has ever visited all the islands before. 

Perhaps you are thinking that visiting islands is easy. You just take a ferry to the island; you get off the ferry; perhaps you go for a little walk, or buy a cup of coffee in a cafe; and then you get back on the ferry and go home. Easy. Much easier than climbing mountains, which needs skill and energy, and which is often difficult and dangerous. 

Well, you can visit some of the Scottish islands by ferry. But out of 162 islands, 99 are uninhabited - no-one lives there, so there is no ferry. So Andy Strangeway had to find boatmen to take him to many of the islands. Also, Andy decided that it was not enough just to visit an island. He would stay at least one night on each island, generally in a tent. 

The Scottish islands are very varied - that means that they are very different one from another. A few are low-lying and fertile. Others are really just rocks sticking out of the Atlantic Ocean. Some are close to the mainland and to civilisation (things like discos and supermarkets). Others are far out to sea. 

There is, for instance, a fascinating group of islands called St Kilda, far to the west of Scotland. People lived on St Kilda for thousands of years, making a living from fishing, keeping sheep and hunting sea birds. But life there was very hard, and in 1930 the whole community left St Kilda and moved to the mainland. If you visit St Kilda today, you can see the ruins of the houses in which the people lived - it must be rather sad. 

Another island is uninhabited for a different reason. During the second World War, the British government experimented with germ and chemical weapons, to use against Germany. On an island called Gruinard, scientists carried out experiments using a deadly disease called anthrax. This made Gruinard a very dangerous place, and for 48 years the island was completely closed to visitors. 

Well, Andy has now stayed overnight on all the Scpttish islands, including St Kilda and Gruinard. He has endured rain, wind and rough seas. He did not do it alone, however. He took his teddy-bear, called Clyde, with him. So Clyde is the first teddy bear to visit every island in Scotland, Isn't that nice! 

Amy comes to Birmingham 

Monday 19 November 2007 

Today, Listen to English visits the world of British pop music. 

I started by doing some research. "Who is Amy Winehouse?" I asked my children. There was silence. The children sighed and rolled their eyes. It is very embarrassing for them to have a parent who asks them silly questions about pop music - questions like "Who is Amy Winehouse?". Parents are allowed to like the Beatles and the Rolling Stones, but they are not allowed to know anything that happened later than about 1990. That is for the younger generation. Parents should keep out. 

So I asked them again, "Who is Amy Winehouse?" And they explained that she is a singer, and that she had a gig in Birmingham last week and the gig had been ashambles. And, please, will I not talk about it in front of their friends. 

And in case you do not understand what this means, a gig means a concert or performance, and a shambles means something which is chaotic and disorganised. Amy Winehouse had a concert in Birmingham last week and it was a disaster. 

It happened like this. Amy Winehouse is 24 years old. She comes from Enfield in north London. She sings jazzy songs very well. And she is now regarded as one of the big figures in the British pop music scene. 

But she does not go home in the evening to watch TV and drink a mug of cocoa, like good girls should. The newspapers report that she has a lifestyle in which alcohol and illegal drugs play an important part. Earlier this year she got married to a man called Blake Fielder-Civil. Mr Fielder-Civil has had a bit of trouble with the police. He has been arrested for causing serious injury to someone in a fight and for trying to bribe witnesses. He is at present enjoying a short rest in Pentonville Prison in London. 

Last week, Amy visited her husband in prison, and this was obviously an upsetting experience for her. She then travelled to Birmingham for the opening concert of her UK tour. She arrived very late. She sang several songs so badly that the audience started to boo. She broke down in tears. She dropped the microphone. She walked off the stage in the middle of a song, leaving the backing group to carry on without her. She shouted abuse at the audience. She told them that they were stupid to buy tickets for the concert. She told them, "Just wait until my husband gets out of prison". (What is he going to do - come to Birmingham and beat us all up?) The audience booed some more. Many people left long before the end of the concert. It was, in a word, a shambles. I wish I had been there. 

Everyone in Birmingham knows someone who knows someone who was at the gig. And in places where people discuss these matters seriously, such as our local hairdressing salon, you hear three different points of view. 

it was a disgrace and people who bought tickets for the concert should get their money back. 

poor Amy. She is such a great singer. It is good that she still came to Birmingham at all, when she was obviously so upset about her husband being in prison. It is good that she could show her fans how upset she was. Everyone knows that Amy is a bit, well, unreliable, because of her little problems with alcohol and so on. People knew this before they bought tickets for the concert so of course they should not get their money back. 

and other people don't care, because they have more important things to worry about. 

What do you think? 

Turkeys do not vote for Christmas 

Thursday 15 November 2007 

It is the middle of November. It is time to start thinking about Christmas. It is time to think about Christmas cards, and what present to buy for Uncle George.(A nice tie perhaps, except that we bought him a tie last year and the year before). And soon it will be time to think about Christmas dinner - who should we invite to have Christmas dinner with us, and what should we eat. 

Many people in England eat turkey at Christmas. This is a new tradition - if you understand what I mean. Fifty years ago, it was unusual to eat turkey, and it was difficult to find turkey in the shops. People ate chicken orgoose at Christmas. But nowdays, most people eat turkey on Christmas Day. And because turkeys are big birds, they also eat cold turkey on Boxing Day (the day after Christmas) and for about a week afterwards as well, until they become fed up with turkey and never want to eat or see another turkey ever again - until next Christmas, of course. 

I feel sorry for turkeys. Most of them are kept on huge turkey farms, with thousands of other turkeys. Some turkeys are "free fange" - that means, they are allowed outside to run around and scratch the ground. But many others are kept in cages indoors. The farmers feed them a special diet to make them fat. They inject them with antibiotics to keep them healthy. And then, a few weeks before Christmas, they slaughter all the turkeys and send them off to the supermarkets. And unfortunately this year many of the turkeys will not even make it to the Christmas dinner table. There is a serious outbreak of bird flu in some of the big poultry farms in the east of England. The bird flu virus appears to have come from Eastern Europe, but no-one yet knows how it got to England. The only way to stop the virus from spreading is to slaughter all the birds on the infected farms - even the healthy ones - and to incinerate (that is, to burn) their bodies. Nearly 30,000 turkeys have been culled so far, and probably more will need to be killed in the next few days. 

I have however a confession to make. I do not like turkeys. They are stupid, mean, horrible birds. Once, I had a fight with a turkey, and I am afraid that the turkey won. It happened like this. We - that is, myself and my wife and children - visited a children's farm. We saw pigs and calves; the children went for a ride on a donkey; they fed the chickens and the lambs, and ate ice cream in the cafe. There was a turkey in the farmyard. To everyone else it was a kind, gentle turkey. But when it saw me, it attacked. It pecked my feet and ankles. It chased me round the farm. There were lots of children there, with their parents, and they all laughed. I have never felt so humiliated in my life. The farmer explained that the turkey thought that my shoelaces were worms or something else that turkeys like to eat. Stupid turkey. 

We have a joke or saying in English. We say that turkeys do not vote for Christmas. It means that people will not support (vote for) something which is obviously not in their interests. But if turkeys are stupid enough to attack my shoelaces, maybe they are stupid enough to vote for Christmas too. 

Remembering 

Tuesday 13 November 2007 

The First World War ended on 11 November 1918. Nearly 1 million British servicemen and civiliansdied in the war. After the war, people thought that it was important to find ways to remember those who had been killed. So, throughout Britain, towns and villages, churches, schools and colleges built war memorials, with the names of the men who had died written on them. After the Second World War, the names of those killed in that war were often added to the memorials 

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It was also decided that 11 November should be observed every year asRemembrance Day. On 11 November, at 11am, many people stand silent for two minutes, to remember those killed in the two World Wars and in other conflicts. It is also common for people to wear little red flowers - called poppies- made of cloth. Real poppies flowered all over the battlefields in Flanders in the First World War, because the destruction caused by the fighting created good conditions for them. The red poppy has become Britain's national symbol for Remembrance Day. On the second Sunday in November, there are special Remembrance services in most churches in Britain, and parades of ex-servicemen, and ceremonies at war memorials. 

For a time, in the 1960s and 1970s, Remembrance Day became less important. A new generation had grown up since the end of the second World War. And many older people did not want to think back to the war years any longer - for them, the loss of friends and relatives, the bombing, the queues to buy food, and the general hardship of life in wartime were things they wanted to forget. It even seemed possible that Remembrance Day would slowly fade away. But since the 1990s, Remembrance Day has been back in fashion, strongly encouraged by our government. Indeed, more people seem to observe the two minutes silence today than at any time I can remember. 

I wonder what people are remembering when they stand in silence. There are, I believe, only 5 people still alive in Britain who fought in the first World War. People who fought in the second World War are all 80 years old or older. So most people who stand in silence on Remembrance Day are not thinking about specific people - relatives, friends, army comrades, work colleagues - who died. Perhaps they are thinking about war and conflict generally; or perhaps they are thinking about something completely different, like what to cook for supper. (That is the wonderful thing about thinking - it is completely private. No-one but you knows what you are thinking about.) 

And now I am going to say something controversial - that means, something which some people may disagree with strongly. It is right to remember those who died in the great wars of the 20th century. It is right also to remember that most of those who died were not British. And it is important also to find a way to leave the past behind; because otherwise we cannot properly face the problems of today. 

I have a dream .... 

Thursday 08 November 2007 

Have you a dream? I mean, is there something that you would really like to do in your life - such as travelling round the world, or writing a best-selling novel, or climbing Mount Everest, or learning a new language. Good. It is important that we have dreams like these. 

But what would you do to achieve your dream. Would you, for example, walk out of your job so that you could do the thing you really want to do? Hmm. That might be difficult. How would you get the money you need to live on? And suppose you had a well-paid and very important job. Would you give that job up to pursue your dream? 

This morning's newspapers tell us about someone who has done just that. His name is Paul Drayson. He is 47 years old. He started his career as a businessman, and he was very successful . He made a fortune as boss of a company which makes equipment for giving people medical injections without sticking a needle into them. Then he became interested in politics. He gave a lot of money to the Labour Party. The government made him a member of the House of Lords, which is the upper chamber of the British parliament. (This means that he is now Lord Drayson, and not plain, ordinary Mr Drayson.) Then Lord Drayson became a minister in the government, at the Ministry of Defence. He wasresponsible for buying equipment for the British armed forces. Both the government's supporters and his opponents said that he was good at his job. He obviously had a bright political career ahead of him. 

But Lord Drayson had a dream. It was a dream about driving motorcars very fast. He bought a 6-litre Aston Martin racing car. He drove it around race tracks. He competed in races; then he started to win some of the races, and this year he came third in the British GT championship. (The GT championships are for cars which are nearly the same as cars which you can drive on normal roads). People who know him say that, as a racing driver, Paul Drayson is both brave and intelligent. He is particularly interested in racing cars which run on bio-fuels, that is fuel which is made from plants like maize instead of from crude oil. 

Personally, I think that motor racing is about as stupid a sport as golf; but I know that lots of people do not agree with me. I enjoyed reading the letter of resignation which Lord Drayson sent to the British Prime Minister, Gordon Brown. In the letter, he says that he has an opportunity to compete in motor races in the United States next year. This would be an important step towards his dream of winning the Le Mans 24 hour race in France. But he cannot do this and be a government minister at the same time. So he is resigning his job. 

Wouldn't you like to write a letter like this to your boss? 

"Dear Boss, I have been offered an opportunity to go surfing in southern California next year, so I am resigning from my job as junior clerk in your office." 

"Dear Boss, Although I have been very happy making burgers here at McDonalds, I am resigning in order to pursue my dream of being the first person to walk backwards round the world." 

The Ring Road Tramp 

Tuesday 06 November 2007 

Two weeks ago, I made a podcast about immigration into Britain from Eastern Europe. Today's podcast is also about an immigrant from Eastern Europe. His name was Josef Stawinoga. He was born in Poland. We do not know much about his early life. It seems that he was involved in the second World War. Perhaps he was taken prisoner during the Soviet invasion of Poland in 1939. Or perhaps he served in the German army, as some people claim. He arrived in Britain some time after the war. He found a job working in a steel works. He married a woman from Austria, but it appears that he mistreated her, and she ran away. 

Some time after his wife left him, Joseph stopped working at the steel works anddropped out of society. He became a tramp - he wandered the streets, with no proper home. For a time he seems to have lived in lodging houses, but by the 1970s he had found a home - a home where he lived for the rest of his life. It was amakeshift tent on the grass strip in the middle of Wolverhampton ring road. 

Let me explain about ring roads. In the 1960s and 1970s, many local authorities in England decided that what their towns needed above everything else was a new road, running in a circle, around the town centre. These roads are known as ring roads. They disfigure most towns in England outside London. They say to us that cars are more important than people. Many ring roads are dual carriageways - that means that there is an empty piece of land in the middle of the road, to separate the cars racing in one direction from the cars racing in the other direction. Wolverhampton - which is an important town to the west of Birmingham - has a ring road, and it was there that Joseph decided to make his home. 

Perhaps you think that you would like to live in the middle of a ring road too. However, you are not legally allowed to do this. But the local authority in Wolverhampton decided that it was best to let Joseph stay. His experiences during the war had damaged him psychologically. He may have suffered from claustrophobia - that is, a fear of being in a confined space, like a room or a building. So it was difficult to force him to live in a normal house. 

Over the years, Joseph became a well-known sight in Wolverhampton. People called him "Fred" most of the time, instead of Joseph. He was often seen with a brush, sweeping rubbish off the ring road. Some people in the Indian and Sikh communities in Wolverhampton regarded him as a sort of holy man, and from time to time they would bring him gifts and food. His tent - actually it was just a piece of plastic sheeting - started to fall to bits. But Joseph, or Fred, refused to move, so the army came and erected a new tent over the top of the old one. 

Joseph was found dead in his tent last week, on the 28th of October. He was 86 years old. He had lived in his tent for over 30 years. A lot of people in Wolverhampton are quite sad that he is no longer in the middle of the ring road. There is even talk of erecting a permanent monument to him. Why should we remember him? He did not do anything to help other people, as far as I know. He simply refused to live his life in a normal way. And that is important, don't you think? 

Two left feet, and other idioms 

Thursday 01 November 2007 

I have some idioms for you today. Idioms are colourful ways of saying something. Often, when we use an idiom, we don't mean the words in a literal sense. We are using the words figuratively. 

Still confused? The best thing is to give you some examples. Four examples, in fact, and each one is about legs or feet! 

Kevin and Joanne go with some friends to a disco club. Kevin likes dancing. But he is no good at it. He stands on the dance floor, jumping up and down and waving his arms in the air. It is not a pretty sight, but Kevin is happy. Bless him! And Kevin has two left feet. That does not mean that he actually has two feet on the left side of his body. No, it means that he is clumsy - he can't keep his feet in time with the music, and he falls over a lot. He has two left feet. 

Charles is Kevin and Joanne's friend. But they do not see him very much, because Charles is always travelling. He is never completely happy where he is - he always wants to be somewhere else. He gets a job, but after a few months he resigns and looks for another job, or he goes travelling. He rents a flat, but he will not stay there for long. In a few months he will move to another flat, or to a different city. We say that Charles has itchy feet. That means, he is not happy staying for a long time in the same place or the same job. He always wants to be moving to somewhere new. 

Harry's car broke down last week. It stopped on the motorway and he had to phone a garage to come and tow his car away. Then he had to pay to have his car repaired. It was very expensive. "It cost me an arm and a leg", says Harry. 

And finally, let us meet Joanne's friend Tracey. Tracey is lovely young woman, but she is always putting her foot in it. That means, she says the wrong things - she offends people, or embarrsses them, or makes them upset, without meaning to. So, for example, she hears that Harry has just split up with his girlfriend. All of Harry's friends know that Harry gets very upset whenever he thinks about his former girlfriend. They know that the best thing is not to talk to him about it. But not Tracey. "I hear you split up with your girlfriend", she says to Harry. She has put her foot in it - again! 

Do you understand now what an idiom is? There is a quiz attached to the podcast, with some more idioms in it. You can find it on the podcast website. 

Half term, and turning the clocks back 

Monday 29 October 2007 

It has been more than a week since my last podcast. Why? What is my excuse? 

Well, my excuse is that last week was half term. And some of you are probably saying, "What does he mean - half term?" So I shall explain. 

Schools and colleges and universities in England start each year in September, after the long summer holiday. In other words, September is the start of the "academic year". The schools then teach, and the children learn (or some of them learn!), until the middle of December, when the Christmas holiday starts. The time from when schools start in September to when they finish in December is a "term". There is then a second school term which starts in January and runs to the Easter holiday in March or April, and a third school term which starts after Easter and runs to early in July. In America, people use the word "sesmester" to describe the divisions of the academic year, but in Britain we always call them "terms". 

So what is this "half term" which was my excuse for no podcast last week? Well, by the end of October the teachers and the school children are so exhaused that they need a little holiday. So the schools close for a week, and we call this the "half term holiday" or simply "half term". And last week was half term, so my house was full of children. They argued, they played computer games, they played loud music, they wanted to go shopping, they wanted to visit their friends and they wanted cakes for tea. So - no podcast. 

Yesterday, we turned the clocks back. What does that mean? In Britain, as in most European countries, we change the time on our clocks twice during each year. We move the time forward by one hour on a Sunday at the end of March, so that we get more daylight in the evenings during the summer. And we move the time back by one hour on a Sunday at the end of October. We have had this system of "summer time" and "winter time" since the First World War, and you would think that everyone was used to it by now. But every year, there are people who forget - they arrive at the station one hour too early for their train, or one hour too late; or they go to church on Sunday at the wrong time. (Yes - I have done both of those things). This year something more spectacular happened. There was chaos at Gatwick airport in London. No-one had told the airport's computers that the clocks had changed. 

Picture from the top of the Malvern Hills, south of Birmingham, taken at half term four years ago 

Immigration into Britain 

Thursday 18 October 2007 

A few years ago, there was an advertisement on a billboard close to where I live. It advertised a company called Western Union. You probably know about Western Union. Western Union sends money from one country to another. If you want to send money to your brother in South Africa, for example, you can go to a Western Union office in England and pay in some money. Then your brother can go to a Western Union office in South Africa, and collect the money which you have sent. 

The unusual thing about this advertisement however was the language in which it was written. It was in Polish. It was aimed at Polish people who work in Britain, and who want to send money back to their families in Poland. 

And last year, the local paper in Reading, a town close to London, printed one of its editions in Polish, for the benefit of the many Polish people who now live and work in Reading. You can see a photo of the paper on the website and on your iPod screens. 

Since Poland joined the European Union in 2004, a lot of Polish people have come to this country. We sometimes joke in Britain about how all plumbersnowdays seem to be from Poland. And people have come from other East European countries as well. For example, I do not think that there are any buses still running in Lithuania, because there are so many Lithuanian bus drivers here in Birmingham. 

Of course, immigration into Britain is not new. Over the last 50 years, a lot of immigrants have arrived here from for example Pakistan, India and the West Indies. But large scale immigration from Eastern Europe is new - it has been made possible by the European Union rules which say that people must be able to move freely throughout the Union and live and work in any EU member country. 

You will find that many people in England do not have a positive view of immigration or of immigrants. They say that they take the jobs of British workers; and that they are a burden on our health, welfare and education systems. Some people say that immigrants are responsible for a lot of crime. 

But a government report, published this week, takes a very different view. It says that in 2006, 12.5% of the workforce in this country were immigrants. Immigrants have, on average, higher skills than people in similar jobs who were born in Britain. They earn more as well, and so pay more in taxes. Many employers say that immigrant workers are more reliable, and are willing to work longer hours. Some sectors of the economy like agriculture and hotels and restaurants depend heavily on immigrant labour. The report concludes that, altogether, immigration into Britain contributes \u00a36 billion a year to the British economy. 

Of course, there are problems too. In Britain, house prices and rents are very high, and in some places immigration has pushed prices and rents even higher. Some immigrants have to live in poor housing, and are exploited by unscrupulouslandlords. Other immigrants are employed by labour agencies or "gangmasters", and some of these have a bad record for exploiting their workers. And there can be problems too when schools have to cope with a lot of pupils who do not speak English (though my experience is that children learn English very fast - it is adults who find new languages a problem). 

The overall picture painted by the report is that immigration has greatly benefited Britain and the British economy. I guess that some of you who listen to my podcasts have come to Britain as immigrants, or you have worked in Britain and have now returned to your own countries. What do you think? Please post a comment on the podcast website saying what you like about living in Britain, and what you do not like. 

Michael Fish and the Great Storm 

Tuesday 16 October 2007 

Today, we revise some vocabulary about the weather, particularly about the wind, and we remember the big storm that hit England exactly 20 years ago. 

When you feel the air moving, or you see the leaves on the trees moving, we say in English that "the wind blows" or "the wind is blowing". And if the air is moving a lot, we say that the wind is blowing hard, or the wind is blowing strongly. 

If the wind is quite gentle, we can call it a "breeze". But if the wind blows very strongly, we call it a "gale" And a "storm" is even stronger than a gale; and a "hurricane" is even stronger than a storm! 

There is a scale of wind speeds called the Beaufort scale. A very light wind is force 1 or 2; and a very violent wind is force 9 or 10; and so on. Weather forecasts in English often use the Beaufort scale to say how hard the wind will blow, particularly weather forecasts for ships at sea. 

Twenty years ago yesterday, 15 October 1987, people in Britain switched on their TV sets to watch the evening news and weather forecast. The weather forecaster was Michael Fish. Mr Fish is retired now, but for many years he was Britain's favourite TV weather forecaster. He was famous for his brightly coloured ties and jackets. While he was telling us about the weather that evening, he said that a woman had telephoned the BBC to ask whether it was true that a hurricane was going to strike England that night. Well, said Michael Fish, he could assure us thatno hurricane was on its way. 

And - yes, you guessed right - that night the wind over southern England increased. Soon it became a gale, then a storm and finally a hurricane. It was in fact the most violent storm to hit England since 1703. It caused a huge amount of damage. All over the south of England, trees blew down, cars were overturned and wallscollapsed. Eighteen people were killed by the storm that night, and over 15 million trees were uprooted. People woke up in the morning to find that the roof had blown off their house, or that their car was crushed underneath a tree, or even that a tree had fallen into their kitchen. Roads were blocked, schools were closed and there was no electricity. Many people were unable to get to work for several days. 

Of course, people quickly repaired the damage. Even in the woods and the gardens, where so many trees were destroyed, new trees have grown. But poor Michael Fish has never been allowed to forget what he said on the weather forecast. It was not his fault, of course. The computer at the Meteorological Office(which is Britain's national weather forecasting service) forecast a big storm, but thought that it would pass further south, over France. Today the Met Office has much better computers and better information from satellites. It is confident that it would not make the same mistake again. I hope they are right. Our climate is changing. Extreme weather events, like floods or violent storms, are likely to become more common in future. We will be able to cope only if we get good information about the weather. 

Dynamite and Doris Lessing 

Friday 12 October 2007 

Today we go on a journey. It starts in Sweden over 100 years ago; and then moves to London; and finally moves to future worlds and other planets. 

But we start in Sweden. Alfred Nobel spent his life finding ways to blow things up. He was born in 1833 in Stockholm. As a young man he became very interested in nitro-glycerine, a highly explosive chemical. He saw straight away how useful nitro-glycerine could be - in mines, for example, to blast tunnels through the rock; or in civil engineering, to clear the path for new roads and railways; or in war, so that people could blow each other up more efficiently. But nitro-glycerine is very unstable. If you handle it wrongly, it will explode. Alfred Nobel spent several years looking for a way of making nitro-glycerine more stable. His experiments caused a number of serious explosions, including one in which his brother and several other people were killed. But eventually, he was successful. He called his new explosive "dynamite", and we still use dynamite and similar explosives today. 

And after that, Alfred Nobel became a very rich man, because of course there was and still is a very big market in the world for blowing things up. He was also a verycultured and well-educated man. He spoke several languages fluently and had a deep interest in literature and poetry. 

Alfred Nobel died in 1896. He left a large amount of money to establish five prizes. These would be awarded every year to people who had done outstanding things in the fields of Physics, Chemistry, Medicine, Literature and the promotion of peace in the world. (Later, a sixth prize was added, for economics). These prizes have been awarded every year since 1901. 

Now let us jump forward 106 years. Yesterday, an 87-year old woman went out to do some shopping. She arrived back at her home in north London in a taxi. She was surprised to find a crowd of newspaper reporters and TV camera crews waiting outside her house. At first, she thought they were filming something for asoap opera. But the reporters told her that she had just been awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature. The woman is Doris Lessing, who has been an important novelist for well over 50 years. She was born in Iran, where her father worked for a bank. The family later moved to Southern Rhodesia, now Zimbabwe. She moved to London in 1949 and published her first novel in the same year. As a young woman she joined the Communist Party and strongly opposed white rule in southern Africa. (She was banned from entering South Africa for nearly 40 years because of her opposition to apartheid). 

But her novels are not simply political novels. They are very personal; that is, they explore what people feel and experience. Sometimes you will see Doris Lessing described as a feminist; but she has always said that it is too simple to describe her in this way. Some of her later novels are science fiction - that is, they are set inimaginary worlds, distant planets, or worlds of the future. Many people do not like her science fiction novels. They say that they are unreadable. They argue that it is much more interesting to write about the real world than about imaginary worlds. But Doris Lessing's supporters say that her science fiction novels are just a new way of writing about what people are like inside. 

You may not have read any of Doris Lessing's books, but I guess that many of my listeners have read science fiction. What do you think? Is science fiction a new way of writing about what people are like, what they feel, what they experience? Or is it what we call "escapism", that is a way of running away from the real world to hide in worlds that we have invented? 

Diana - the Inquest and the Conspiracy Theories 

Tuesday 09 October 2007 

In Britain, when someone dies in an unnatural way, it is normal to have an inquiry into why and how the person died. We call this inquiry an "inquest". The person in charge of the inquest is called a Coroner - she or he is like the judge in a normal court of law. The inquest hears evidence from witnesses, who say what they know about the dead person and how they died. There is a jury, a group of ordinary people who listen to the evidence and then say how they think the person died. 

A very unusual inquest has just started in London. It is an inquest into the death of Diana, Princess of Wales. Diana was the divorced wife of Prince Charles, the heir to the British throne. She died in a car crash in Paris, just over 10 years ago. Two other people died in the same crash - they were Henri Paul, who was driving the car; and Dodi al Fayed, the son of a wealthy Egyptian businessman Mohamed al Fayed. 

The death of Diana was an extraordinary event. Very many people, in Britain and in other countries, liked Diana. They thought that she was a more sympathetic and natural person than the rest of the British royal family. Thousands of people sent messages of sympathy, or placed flowers outside Buckingham Palace in London. Millions of people sent money to a special fund set up in Diana's memory. People said things like, "She may be dead, but she still lives in our hearts". 

The French police investigated the car crash. They concluded that it had happened because the car had been going very fast, and because the driver had drunk too much alcohol. 

But some people do not accept these conclusions. They say that there is other evidence which the French police ignored. Mohammed al Fayed says that he is certain that Dodi and Diana were murdered. Some people claim that there was aplot to kill Diana - involving the Queen's husband and the British secret intelligence service. Two British newspapers have published regular stories which question the conclusions of the French police. 

Have you heard the expression "conspiracy theory"? Something extraordinary happens, like the assassination of President Kennedy, or the attack on the World Trade Center on 9\/11, or the death of Diana. There is an official explanation of what happened, and many people are happy with this explanation. But some people are not. They claim for example: 

that the government has suppressed important evidence; 

that powerful people do not want the truth to be known; 

that the true explanantion is that there was an elaborate plot, or "conspiracy", involving, typically, the Pope, the President of the United States, the mafia, aliens from outer space and the intelligence services of six different countries. 

So, the inquest in London will no doubt look at some of the conspiracy theories about Diana's death. The jury will need to decide whether any of them are true. But conspiracy theories are like a religion, and it is impossible to convince a conspiracy theorist that he is wrong. So, whatever the inquest decides, some people will not be happy. 

But the inquest has already revealed one surprising thing. The authorities thought that many members of the public would want to come. They erected a largemarquee outside the court building where people could see and hear the inquest on big TV screens. But the marquee is empty. There are lots of empty seats in the public area in the inquest itself. Ten years ago, Britain was fascinated by the death of Diana. Now we have more important things to do. 

Birmingham Town Hall 

Thursday 04 October 2007 

I think you know by now that I live in Birmingham, which is the second largest city in England, after London. Birmingham is not an old city. It does not have ruins from Roman times, or a castle, or amediaeval cathedral. Two hundred and fifty years ago, Birmingham was just a village. But then came the industrial revolution. Little Birmingham became a centre of the new metal and engineering industries. The town grew and grew, and by about 1830, 160,000 people lived here. Leading Birmingham citizens began to think that the new town needed some fine public buildings, to reflect its new wealth and importance. So they decided to build a Town Hall. 

Now, the expression "town hall" in English normally means the headquarters of the administration of the town - a building with offices where people work, in other words. But not in Birmingham. Our Town Hall is a public hall. It was built as a place for concerts, public lectures and political meetings. 

The group of citizens planning the Town Hall first collected together the money they needed; then they employed an architect and builders.The architect designed the Town Hall to look like a Roman temple - look at the picture on the website, or on your iPod screen, and you will see what I mean. The builders brought stone for the building by ship and canal boat all the way from Anglesey, in north Wales. Inside, skilled craftsmen built an organ - one of the largest organs in Britain at the time. And in 1834 the new Town Hall opened with a music festival to help raise money for a local hospital. 

Over the years since then, Birmingham Town Hall has seen all sorts of events and performance. The first performance of Mendelssohn's great oratorio Elijah took place in the Town Hall in 1846, and in the following year Mendelssohn himself played the organ at a concert. Several of the works of the English composer Edward Elgar were also given first performances in the Town Hall. Charles Dickens read from his book "A Christmas Carol", and the Town Hall has seen countlesspublic and political meetings. It was the home for Birmingham's orchestra, the City of Birmingham Symphony Orchestra. The Beatles and the Rolling Stones performed there, as did countless other classical, jazz and pop musicians. 

But then things started to go wrong. The building began to deteriorate. Atmospheric pollution attacked the stonework, and water came through the roof. Moreover, the facilities at the Town Hall were no longer what modern audiences expect. A spendid new concert hall, Symphony Hall, opened in Birmingham in the early 1990s, and the City of Birmingham Symphony Orchestra moved there from the old Town Hall. In 1996, the city council decided that the Town Hall was no longer safe, and it closed. Many people feared that it would never re-open. 

The Town Hall stood empty and silent for the next nine years. Finally, the city council managed to find enough money - with help from the National Lottery and the European Union - to repair and restore the building. Workmen covered the Town Hall in scaffolding and polythene sheeting, and the work of restoration started. And now it is finished, and the Town Hall will re-open today, 4 October, with a gala concert. I think that Mendelssohn and Elgar would be pleased. To celebrate the occasion, here is a short extract from Max Reger's Toccata and Fugue in D, Opus 59 No 5, and it is played by Michael Austin on the magnificent organ of Birmingham Town Hall. 

Charity Shops 

Wednesday 03 October 2007 

In many towns in England, the main shopping street is called "High Street". We often use the expression "high street" to mean the main shopping street of any town or suburb, no matter what its real name is. Or we talk about "the high street" to mean shopping facilities generally, particularly shops that people use every day like food shops. So, when a newspaper writes about "high street prices", for example, they just mean the prices of everyday things that people might buy in high street shops. 

And we often complain that high street shops are the same boring shops everywhere in England. Many high street shops are branches of big nationalchains. For example, there is Next, and Marks and Spencer, which sell clothes; and WH Smith, which sells stationery, books and magazines; and Boots, the chemists; and Woolworths, where you can buy almost anything, provided that it is cheap and made of plastic. You can find these shops in most high streets in England. In most high streets, too, you will find one or more charity shops. 

Charity shops are shops which are run by charities to help them raise money. People bring things that they no longer want, and the charity shop sells them to other people. What sort of things? Clothes, shoes, hats, bags, children's toys, books, CDs, crockery, kitchen things, mugs commemorating the wedding of Charles and Diana - all sorts of things, in other words. 

The first charity shop was set up in 1947. Since then, charity shops have become very successful in England. There are over 7000 of them altogether. They raise well over \u00a3100 million each year for the charities that own them. They are cheap to run. Often they occupy shop premises that no-one else wants, and where the rent is low. Most of their staff are volunteers. The shops do not have to pay tax on their profits. The charity OXFAM, which helps people in developing countries, has the best-known charity shops in England, but there are many others, including shops run by small local charities. 

I enjoy visiting charity shops. They are all different, unlike the big high street shops. There is always a chance that I will find something really interesting or unusual. Here are some of the things I have learned about charity shops: 

they have a special smell, of old clothes. 

women are much more likely than men to give used clothes to a charity shop, and more likely to buy clothes there. 

people who bought CDs of really bad bands ten years ago eventually give the CDs to a charity shop. 

if you go to a charity shop in an area where well-off people live, you can often find expensive designer clothes at bargain prices. 

it always takes three charity shop volunteers to operate the till. 

Finally, here is another way in which charity shops are really useful to busy families in modern Britain. Your children arrive home. They tell you proudly that they are in a play at school. And they need costumes - before tomorrow. No problem. Give them \u00a35 and send them to the nearest charity shop. They will come back with some amazing rubbish. They will take it to school next day to wear in the school play. Everyone will say they look wonderful. And when they come home again - why, you can take it all back to the charity shop, of course. 

Photo of charity shop window by World of oddy\/flickr. There is a mug commemorating the wedding of Charles and Diana at the front of the window! Picture of Oxfam bookshop byGary Thomson\/flickr 

I dont care 

Thursday 27 September 2007 

In the last podcast, about Socks and Cookie, I said I do not care what the cat is called. 

What do we mean when we say "I do not care"? 

We mean, "That is not important to me." 

So, if I say, "I do not care what the cat is called", I mean, "It is not important to me what the cat is called." 

OK? Everybody clear? Then let's go and find Kevin and Joanne. 

Many months ago, a friend of Joanne's invited Kevin and Joanne to come to her weding. And Kevin and Joanne said, yes they would be very pleased to come. But, as I say, that was months ago, and Kevin has forgotten all about it, until Joanne reminds him that the wedding is on Saturday. 

"But Joanne, there is a football match on TV on Saturday. If I go to the wedding I will miss the match." 

"I don't care about the football", says Joanne. "We are going to the wedding". 

"But, Joanne, its a really important game". 

"I don't care how important the game is. We're going to the wedding." 

"But, Joanne, if United win on Saturday, they will go through to the next round." 

"I dont care whether they win or lose, we're going to the wedding." 

"Look, Joanne, it's Joe's birthday on Saturday. Me and some of his friends, we have planned a surprise party for him." 

"Nice try, Kevin, but I don't care about Joe's birthday. We're going to the wedding." 

"But, Joanne, how can I explain to Joe that I can't come to his party?" 

"I don't care what you say to him. We said that we would go to the wedding and that is what we are going to do." 

"So, Joanne, you don't care that Joe will be upset that I can't go to his party?" 

"Quite right, Kevin. I don't care. And Joe won't be upset" 

So they go to the wedding. And after the wedding there is a reception in a hotel. Joanne and Kevin chat to some people, and then Kevin disappears. Joanne cannot see him anywhere. An hour later she finds him. He is with the bride's brother, and 3 or 4 other young men, in a small room at the back of the hotel. And, yes, they are watching the football on the TV and drinking cans of beer. Just as Joanne comes into the room, United score, and then the referee blows the final whistle. 

"Kevin, what are you doing here. You should be at the wedding reception". 

But Kevin has a broad smile on his face "I don't care. United have won." 

"But you have missed the wedding cake and the champagne." 

"I don't care about the wedding cake or the champagne. United have won." 

"Kevin, you are incorrigible", says Joanne. And she says lots of other things too, but Kevin knows that she doesn't really mean them, and anyway United have won. So, he doesn't care. 

Picture of bear by Peter Carter\/flickr. Detail from "I don't care..." by Roy Lichtenstein 

My Odeo Channel (odeo\/a44ab8ce186fafd2) 

The Story of Socks and Cookie 

Tuesday 25 September 2007 

As you know, we English are sensible people. We do not get excited about little things. We do not make a fuss. Most of the time, at least. It is different where children or animals are involved. Then, we do some very peculiar things, as my story today will show. 

In a podcast in March, I told you about a programme on BBC television called Blue Peter. It is a popular and high-quality programme for children. It has been running for many years, since the early 1960s in fact. 

Children like pet animals, so Blue Peter has a whole zoo of pets which appear on the programme. At present there are three dogs, a cat and a tortoise. The cat first appeared on the programme last January. At that time, it had no name. So Blue Peter asked the children who watch the programme to choose a name. The children voted on the Blue Peter web site. And a few weeks later, Blue Peter announced the name which the children had chosen - the cat would be called Socks. 

However, Socks was not in fact the name which the children had chosen. The most popular name for the new cat had been Cookie. But the people who make Blue Peter decided that Cookie was not a suitable name for the cat. Why? I do not know. But Socks became the official name of the Blue Peter cat. 

In the last few months, we in Britain have become worried about TV and radio programmes which mislead their viewers and listeners. There have been stories about phone-in competitions which no-one could win; and about "live" programmes which had actually been recorded. The radio and TV companies have promised that these things will stop. They have even sacked some of the staff responsible. 

So the top people in the BBC were very embarrassed when they found out about Socks. At the beginning of the Blue Peter programme today, the presentersapologised to the children. They said that the BBC was very, very sorry about what had happened. They introduced a little kitten, who will be Socks' friend on the programme. The kitten is called Cookie. 

The children watching Blue Peter today probably wondered what the fuss was about. January was a long time ago. Most of the children have probably forgotten whether they voted for "Socks" or "Cookie" or some other name. They probably don't care what the cat is called. I don't care what the cat is called. Do you? 

This is not the first time there has been a problem about the animals on Blue Peter. Over 40 years ago, there was a Blue Peter dog called Petra. But Petra became ill and died. What could the BBC do? It feared that the children would beupset if the BBC told them that Petra was dead. So they found another dog which looked exactly the same, and called the dog Petra, and the new Petra appeared on Blue Peter instead. No-one knew. Everyone was happy. And it was 30 years before the BBC revealed what had happened. 

The Run on Northern Rock 

Thursday 20 September 2007 

If you had visited the centre of Birmingham three days ago, you might have seen a long queue of people. The queue started at the door of a building, and stretched 50 meters to the corner of the street and round the corner. 

If you had visited Leeds, or London, or Edinburgh, or many other towns, you would have seen the same thing - long queues of people waiting for something. What were they doing? Perhaps tickets for a big pop concert had just gone on sale, and the people were queuing to buy tickets before they sold out. But if you looked carefully, you could see that many of the people looked, well, a bit too old to be interested in pop concerts. 

No, it was not a pop concert. It was something we have not seen in Britain for many years. It was a run on a bank. 

Let me explain. There is a bank, based in Newcastle in the north-east of England, called Northern Rock. It has branches in many towns and cities in Britain. Its main business is lending money to people to buy houses - this is what we call "mortgage lending" in Britain. A mortgage is an arrangement where property, such as a house, is used as security for a loan. A bank will lend you money to buy a house, but it takes a mortgage over the property, so that - if you don't repay the loan or the interest on the loan - the bank can repossess your house; that is, it can take the house back from you. Houses are very expensive in Britain, and most people who buy a house need to borrow money with a mortgage. 

Northern Rock has been a very aggressive mortgage lender. Its share of the home loans market has grown a lot in the last few years. In fact it is now one of the top 5 or 6 mortgage lenders in Britain. How has Northern Rock found the money to lend to so many people? Well, some of the money has come from people who save money in Northern Rock savings accounts. But Northern Rock has also borrowed a lot of money from other banks and in the money markets. The money which Northern Rock has borrowed is short term - that means, it has to repay the money after a few months or a year. But the loans which Northern Rock has made to people to buy houses are long term - perhaps 20 or 25 years. 

Until a few months ago, everything was OK. But then the amount of money which other banks were willing to lend fell, and the interest on the loans increased. One of the reasons for this was the problem in the United States over low-quality or junk lending - perhaps you have read about it in the papers. Suddenly Northern Rock was in trouble. It could no longer borrow all the money it needed. The news got out. The price of Northern Rock's shares collapsed. Northern Rock assuredeveryone that it had plenty of money and that no-one needed to worry. But many people did not believe this. People who had saved money with Northern Rock wanted to get their money out. So they queued at Northern Rock's branches, and tried to get onto Northern Rock's website. The website collapsed, and the queues got longer and longer. It was a run on a bank, the first run on a British bank for 140 years. 

Eventually the government said that it would guarantee savers' deposits at Northern Rock. The panic subsided and the queues disappeared. But something has changed. For the last ten years, Britain has had low inflation, low interest rates and good economic growth. Many people have borrowed a lot of money to buy houses or cars or to go on exotic holidays. But many economists now think that the years of easy money are now over. Northern Rock may be only the first problem of the new times 

How to travel to a sales conference 

Tuesday 18 September 2007 

Kevin is very excited. His boss has asked him to go to a big sales conference. You remember that Kevin has written a paper for his company about the market for cat food. One of the top people in his company has seen the paper and likes it. The top person does not actually understand the paper. That is because top people only understand big things like international finance, and where shall we play golf next weekend. But the top person said to himself, "This Kevin obviously understands all about cat food. He must come to the sales conference." 

So Kevin makes plans to go to the sales conference. The conference takes place in an executive hotel near Heathrow airport in London. This hotel is possibly the least attractive place in England. And it is expensive. But the sales conference has always been held there, every year since 1998, so it has become a tradition. 

Kevin decides to travel to the conference on the train. Other people come to the conference in their cars. The people from America and Germany come on the plane to Heathrow airport. Other people come on a bus, or on the underground, or in a taxi. The director responsible for the company's environmental policy comes on her bicycle. 

This is very confusing, isn't it - "on a train", "in a car", "on a bicycle" - how can we remember when to say "in" and when to say "on"? Well, I am afraid that you just have to learn. But while you are learning, remember that you can nearly always use the word "by" to explain how you are going to travel. So here are some of the ways to get to the sales conference. You can travel by car, or by road; you can travel by train or by rail; you can come by plane or by air; and you can arrive by bus, by tram, by underground, by taxi, by coach, by helicopter, by horse, or by elephant. The only time that you can't use "by" is when you walk - you arrive "on foot", not "by foot". (And you can't seriously go to the sales conference near Heathrow airport by elephant. I just put that in to see if you were awake!) 

What is the best way to travel? In English we have a saying that "it is better to travel hopefully than to arrive". It comes from the 19th century Scottish writer Robert Louis Stevenson. What does it mean? It is about our journey through life. Some people look forward all the time to new things. They welcome new opportunities, new things to do, new things to learn. Even when they are old, they still want to visit new places and meet new people. They are travelling "hopefully" (that is, "with hope"). Other people have perhaps done many things in their lives, but now they do not want to experience anything new. They have arrived. Which is better, do you think - to travel hopefully, or to arrive? 

Sharks 

Thursday 13 September 2007 

It has been a good summer for seeing things in the sea. I told you about the whales in the Bay of Biscay in the last podcast, and this podcast is about sharks. 

In July, a man contacted a newspaper to tell them that he had seen a great white shark in the sea off the south-west of England. He sent them a photograph of the shark. Because there is not much proper news during the summer holiday, the paper published the photo. There was no doubt - it was indeed a great white shark. 

Now, sharks are quite common in the sea around England. But the sharks near England are the small and timid. They are not at all dangerous. They are afraid of people and swim away if you get close to them. Great white sharks are not like that. Great white sharks are big and have teeth. They are the sort of sharks that eat people. No-one had ever seen a great white shark in the sea near England before. 

Of course, once one person had seen a great white shark, lots of other people said that they had seen the shark too. They telephoned the newspapers to tell them. Some of them took photos of the shark with their mobile phones. There was panic in the tourist industry. People thought, "No-one will want to swim in the sea if they think there is a great white shark nearby." And other people said that it was all because of global warming - because the earth is getting warmer, the great white sharks are moving further north. A television channel broadcast the film "Jaws". You probably know the film. It is about a rather nice great white shark which made the world a better place by eating horrid American teenagers in the sea near Florida. 

Then the man confessed that he had not really seen the shark off south-west England at all. It was a hoax. He had taken the photo while he was on holiday in South Africa. He thought it would be funny to pretend that he had seen the shark in England. And everyone started to say that, of course, they had known all along that the story wasn't true and that there could not possibly be a great white shark in the sea near England. 

But now the summer holiday is over. There are no more entertaining stories about sharks. Instead, the newspapers are full of serious and depressing news - about interest rates and house prices, and the war in Iraq. We need something to cheer us up. A tiger in Scotland, perhaps, or crocodiles in the sewers in Birmingham. 

Picture of great white shark by doobybrain\/flickr who is definitely not the person who sent the photo of the shark to the newspaper! 

Whales 

Monday 10 September 2007 

Welcome back, everyone, after our summer break. 

Today's podcast is about whales. Not the country Wales, but the animals called whales. Whales live in the sea. But they are not fish. Young whales do not hatch from eggs, like young fish do. Young whales are born live, like human babies. Whales aremammals, like human beings are. And because whales live in the sea, we call them marine mammals - "marine" just means "of the sea". In fact, a species of whale called the blue whale is the largest mammal on earth. 

For hundreds of years, people have hunted whales. They ate whale meat, and used whale oil as a fuel for lamps, and to make candles. In the 20th century, commercial whaling drove some species of whales almost to extinction. Many countries now prohibit whale hunting. But whale hunting by Japan, Norway and some other countries continues. There is a lot of controversy about whale hunting - people have very strong opinions either for or against it. 

Well, I went whale hunting this summer - with a camera. I travelled on a boat from Portsmouth in England to Bilbao in northern Spain. During the journey, the boat crosses the Bay of Biscay, which is the area between the west coast of France and the north coast of Spain. In this area, whales are plentiful. So, on the boat with me there were lots of enthusiastic whale hunters. First thing in the morning, the whale hunters went to the top deck of the boat. They set up telescopes, binoculars and cameras. They had notebooks, and pencils, and books about whales. Anxiously, they looked out to sea. Nothing. Only the waves and the sky, and a few birds. Eventually, someone saw something. All the whale hunters ran to the side of the boat. About a kilometer away, there was a jet of water. Then there was another, and another. It was a group of whales, close to the surface of the sea, blowing water out through the blow holes on the tops of their heads. But they were too far away - we could not see the whales themselves, or tell what sort of whales they were. But later in the day, we saw whales close to the boat - there is a picture of one on the website. And we saw dolphins as well, though there are fewer dolphins in the Bay of Biscay this year than in previous years. 

My children soon got bored with whale hunting. There are more exciting things to do on the boat, they said. But I can now understand why the whale hunters, with their telescopes and cameras, are so enthusiastic. In Europe today, there are not many places where you can see big animals in the wild. But at sea you can. For a long time, there is nothing. But when, suddenly, a whale appears close to you, it is as thrilling as watching elephants or lions in Africa. 

Rigoletto Act 2 - Next Podcast 11 September 

Tuesday 24 July 2007 

Suppose your friend has just sat an exam. You want to ask her - was it alright, were the questions easy, do you think that you passed the exam? What words could you use to ask this question? 

Or suppose that your friend has just been to a wedding. You want to ask her - was everything OK, did the bride look beautiful, did everyone have a good time? What words can you use? 

Or suppose that your favourite English podcaster has been playing in the orchestra for Verdi's opera Rigoletto. You want to ask him - was the opera good, did you play in tune and in the right places, were there any disasters? How can you ask this question? 

Well - you can say, "How did it go?" How did your exam go? how did the wedding go? how did the opera go? 

And I could say, yes the opera went very well. The singers were wonderful, of course. The audiences were not big, but the people who came loved the performances. And I played in tune - most of the time - and in the right places - well, most of the right places. 

In the last act of Rigoletto, there is a storm. The night grows dark, and the rain pours down, and in the middle of the storm, the assassin kills Gilda. It is very dramatic, with some very fine music. In our first performance, when we reached the storm scene, we heard a noise. It was the rain, hammering on the roof of the little theatre where we were playing. There was a storm in the opera, and a real storm outside. It was a very strange experience. 

In fact, the heavy rain continued all that night and all the next day. The rivers rose, and water flooded many roads and homes. Several towns south of Birmingham have been seriously flooded. Even today, five days after the storm, it is impossible to reach some towns except by boat or helicopter. Many people in these places have no electricity and no drinking water. These are the most serious floods in Britain that anyone can remember. We hope that the worst is now past, and that life in the flooded towns and villages can slowly return to normal. 

This is my last podcast for the summer. I am going to take a break and a holiday. We are going to the Asturias region of Spain - Viva Espana. The next podcast will be on Tuesday 11 September. To keep you company until then, here is part of the second act of Rigoletto, recorded during our final performance in a church in Birmingham on 22 July. Gilda tells her father Rigoletto about the young man in the church and about how she was kidnapped. Rigoletto comforts her. Zoe Milton-Brown is Gilda, and Kevin McRae is Rigoletto. The orchestra is the wonderful Birmingham Chamber Orchestra, conducted by Martin Leigh. 

Photo of flooding at Tewksbury, where water from the river Severn has completely surrounded the town. For more about the flooding see here 

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 

Friday 20 July 2007 

Somewhere in England, there is a very special building. The security is tight. There is barbed wireall around the fence. There are security guards with dogs. Everyone going in or out is searched and has to show a security pass. Is this a secret government defence establishment? Or a prison for specially dangerous prisoners? Or a place for storing something very valuable, like gold bars, or something very dangerous, like nuclear waste? 

No, it is the warehousewhere copies of the new Harry Potter book - "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" - are stored. Late tomorrow, big trucks will arrive at the warehouse. The books will be loaded onto the trucks, and taken to bookshops and supermarkets all over the country. Because Saturday is the Big Day. Saturday is the day when the new Harry Potter book will be published. 

Who is Harry Potter? Did someone say, "Who is Harry Potter?" What planet do you live on? Everyone knows about Harry Potter. He is a teenage wizard, who attends a special school for wizards called Hogwarts. Together with his friends Ron and Hermione, he is locked in a desperate struggle wih the forces of evil. J K Rowling's books about Harry Potter are some of the most successful books ever written. When the previous Harry Potter book was published, two million copies of it were sold in the first 24 hours. This time, the publishers have printed 3 million copies, and will print even more if the book sells well. And, of course, the book will be translated into many other languages. 

So next Saturday - which is the first day of the school summer holidays in England - the new Harry Potter book will go on sale. People will queue to buy it at bookshops and supermarkets. In our family, we will need to buy 3 or 4 copies, because we cannot agree who should read the book first. 

This will be the last Harry Potter book. So what will happen? Will Harry finally defeat the evil Voldemort; or will the dark forces triumph? The excitement isintense. But we will not have to wait long to find out. Only one more day to go! 

Rigoletto - Act 1 

Monday 16 July 2007 

I have been very busy for the past week. I have been playing my violin in the orchestra for an opera. An opera is like a play, but instead of spoken dialogue it has singing and music. The opera that we are performing is called Rigoletto, and it is by the famous 19th century Italian composer, Giuseppe Verdi. 

Verdi wrote his operas in Italian, of course, but we are singing Rigoletto in English. This is a bad idea. Because the opera is in English, the audience will be able to understand what is happening. It would be better if they simply enjoyed the singing and the music, without worrying about what the words mean. Why? Because the plot of Rigoletto, like the plots of most operas, is complicated and unbelievable. 

This is what happens in the opera. The Duke of Mantova is well-known for chasing pretty women. Recently, he has seen a very attractive girl in church. He has flirtedsilently with her during prayers. She does not know that he is the Duke of Mantova, because he has disguised himself as a poor student. And he does not know that she is Gilda, the daughter of Rigoletto. Part way through the first act of the opera, the Duke\/poor student visits Gilda secretly. They declare their love for each other, and there is a lot of passionate singing and music that makes you feel warm inside. 

Rigoletto - Gilda's father - is the Duke's jester. That means, it is his job to play the fool, tell jokes, make mischief and generally make people laugh. I do not think he is a good jester. There are no good jokes anywhere in the opera, and Rigoletto has made enemies of many other people at the Duke's court. 

Rigoletto's enemies have discovered that he has a mistress. As a joke, they kidnap her. But she isn't Rigoletto's mistress at all. She is Gilda, his daughter. And Rigoletto is very upset. He is very protective of his daughter and forbids her to have any contact with men. He comes to the court in a very bad temper, and finds Gilda. Gilda - the silly girl - thinks this would be an excellent time to tell Rigoletto about the handsome young man at church. The news makes Rigoletto even more unhappy. His beautiful innocent daughter - first she is kidnapped, and now she is pursued by handsome young men in churches. His honour is insulted. He must have revenge. He decides that the handsome young man must go. He hires an assassin - a professional killer - to kill the handsome young man. But due to some unfortunate circumstances which are too ridiculous to explain, the assassin kills Gilda instead. She dies in Rigoletto's arms. Rigoletto has destroyed the only person in the whole world that he loves. It is all very sad. The audience dab their eyes with large spotted handkerchiefs. The opera comes to an end. 

Maybe I am wrong. Maybe things like this happen every week in Italy. But I think that Rigoletto would find it difficult to explain to a British policeman why he is standing in the street in the middle of the night holding the body of his daughter. "I see, sir. So you hired an assassin to kill a young man whom you now understand to be the Duke of Mantova. But he kills this young lady instead. Quite so, sir. I think you had better come with me to the police station, sir." 

More about Rigoletto next time. 

Picture of the statue of Rigoletto at Mantua by febs\/flickr 

Talking rubbish 

Wednesday 11 July 2007 

Recently, I found a postcard. You can see a picture of it on the website or on the screen of your iPod. On the front of the card it says "Birmingham's total rubbish..." 

What does this mean. Does it mean that "Birmingham is total rubbish" - in other words, Birmingham is an awful place and no sane person would like to live in Birmingham or visit the city? 

Happily, it does not mean that. "Birmingham's total rubbish ..." is the beginning of a sentence about rubbish in Birmingham. On the other side of the card, there are facts and figures about how much rubbish each of us produces, and what happens to it.  

Let's start with some vocabulary. Every day, we throw things away that we do not need any more. We call this "rubbish" or "waste" or "refuse". In America, they call it "garbage". Rubbish that comes from people's homes is called "household waste". If it comes from shops, offices, restaurants etc, it is called "commercial waste". And if it comes from factories, it is called "industrial waste". In England, it is very common for people to put their household waste into big black plastic bags. Once a week, or once a fortnight, you put your plastic bags outside your house, and the local authority collects them. But some people, especially people who live in flats, put their waste into a large plastic container, about 1.50 meters tall. The container has a lid on the top, and wheels on the bottom. There is probably a proper, official name for these containers, but everyone calls them "wheelie bins" (because they have wheels on the bottom!) There is probably also a proper, official name for the wonderful people who collect the plastic bags, and empty the wheelie bins, but everyone actually calls them the "bin men". 

A lot of the things that we throw out can be recycled, that means, they can be used again. We can use waste paper to make new paper. We can use aluminium drinks cans to make new cans. And some things that we throw out, such as old batteries or fridges, contain materials which can damage the environment, so it is good if we do not put them in the general rubbish. The local authority therefore encourages us to separate paper, cardboard, cans, tins and plastic bottles from the rest of our rubbish so that they can be recycled. And what happens to our waste after it has been collected? In Birmingham, the paper and cardboard is taken to a factory just north of the city centre, where it is turned into new cardboard packaging. There are also factories not far from Birmingham which take recycled glass, cans and plastics. And the rest of our household waste goes to a modernincinerator in the south of Birmingham, where it is burnt at a high temperature. The heat from the incinerator is used to generate electricity, and some of the ash can be used in the building industry. 

That is the good side of the story. The bad side is that we do not recycle very much. In Birmingham, we recycle only 20% of household waste. This is much better than a few years ago, but a lot worse than many other towns in England. And in comparison with other European countries, our recycling rates in England are very poor. In Belgium and Austria, for example, well over half of all household waste is recycled. We still live in a society where it is normal to throw things away without thinking about how to re-use them. How can we persuade people to recycle more? Our government has suggested that people should pay for every kilo of rubbish that they produce and do not recycle. They have also said that fortnightly rubbish collections, instead of weekly collections, may encourage people to recycle. However, these ideas are controversial. It is easy to see the problems and difficulties in them, and less easy to see the solutions to the problems. It will not be easy to change people's behaviour. But equally we cannot go on throwing things away as we do at present.  

Picture of wheelie bins by Richard Smith\/flickr 

Contemporary 

Friday 06 July 2007 

Today we are going to meet the Duke of Wellington, and talk about the word "contemporary".  

In fact, both the Duke of Wellington and the word "contemporary" were in thepodcasts about Glastonbury. You can't remember the Duke of Wellington? Was he perhaps one of the pop singers at Glastonbury? No, he wasn't. But you remember that, because of the mud at Glastonbury, many festival-goers worewellington boots. Wellington boots are waterproof boots made of rubber. In America, people say "gumboots". In Britain we often say "wellies". And the name "wellington boot" comes from the Duke of Wellington, who was the first person to make this type of boot popular.  

In 1815, the Duke of Wellington was the commander of the British army at the Battle of Waterloo, which is a place just outside Brussels in Belgium. At Waterloo, Wellington and his allies defeated the French army led by Napoleon Bonaparte. Later, Wellington became Prime Minister of Britain for a short time. He persuaded Parliament to pass laws to give rights to Catholics in Britain, for the first time in 200 years. But in all other respects, he was deeply conservative. He opposed any other sort of political reform. The London mob gathered regularly outside his home to shout slogans and throw stones at the windows.  

So, you now know something about the Duke of Wellington. Let's meet the word "contemporary". Contemporary means "belonging to the same time". If we are talking about the Duke of Wellington, "contemporary events" means things that happened during his life - things like the revolution in France, and the rise to power of Napoleon; or the industrial revolution; or the movement for political reform in Britain, which Wellington opposed. "Contemporary newspapers" means newspapers from that time - the newspapers which reported the victory at Waterloo, for example, or the riots and demonstrations in London for political reform. We can say that Wellington and Napoleon were contemporaries - they lived at the same time; in fact, they were born in the same year, in 1769. On the website and, I hope, on your iPod screens there are pictures of both Wellington and Napoleon. They are wearing contemporary dress, or contemporary fashions; that means, the sorts of clothes that important people wore at that time.  

But often in English we use the word "contemporary" to mean "belonging to the present time", in other words to mean "modern". We talk about contemporary art or contemporary music or contemporary fashions or contemporary furniture. We mean modern music, modern art etc - music or art of the 21st century. You remember that, in the last podcast, Hilary talked about contemporary bands that played at Glastonbury. She meant modern bands, bands that young people today like to listen to. 

So, contemporary is a word that can mean different things depending on its context, that is, depending on what you are talking about. If you are talking about Wellington, it means "of the early 19th century". If you are talking about the Beatles, contemporary means "of the 1960s". And if you are talking about today, contemporary means very modern, or up-to-date. 

Glastonbury - mud and music 

Tuesday 03 July 2007 

We return to Glastonbury today for a first-hand account of the mud and the music from Hilary. The full text of my conversation with her is in a pdf file in the posting immediately before this one. 

First, listen to the podcast without looking at the transcript. Probably there will be parts which you do not understand, but that doesn't matter. Then have a look at the quiz (link at the end of this posting) to see how much of the podcast you understood. Then look at the transcript, to check the words or expressions that you did not understand. 

Let me know... 

Friday 29 June 2007 

"Suppose you are planning a holiday in England. Your friend in England might say to you, "Please let me know when you are going to arrive." 

Or suppose I am talking to a friend who is planning to move to another town. I might say, "Please let me have your new address." 

What do these expressions mean - "let me know", and "let me have"? 

You have probably guessed the answer. "Let me know" means "tell me" and "let me have" means "give me". Easy. Simple. 

Well, actually it is a more complicated than perhaps you think. If I say to you, "Tell me how to get to your house", I expect you to answer straight away. I expect you to say, "Take the underground to Highgate station, and a bus from there." But if I say, "Please let me know how to get to your house", I mean "Please don't explain now if that is inconvenient; please tell me later, when you are ready, when you have time". So, "let me know" is a less direct way of saying "tell me". And because it is more indirect, it is often more polite and formal as well. 

Here are some more examples: 

Joanne's friend Judy and her boyfriend have decided to get married. They still haven't made any detailed plans, about when the wedding will be and what sort of wedding they want. Joanne is very pleased and excited when Judy tells her. Here are some of the things that Joanne says: 

When you have decided, let me know the date of the wedding. 

And let me know where the wedding will be. 

Please let me know how to get there.  

And let me know whether there is anything I can do to help. 

Let me know what I should wear. 

Let me know what you would like as a wedding present. 

And let me know who else is coming. 

And after the wedding, please let me see all the wedding photos. 

And as for Kevin, he has just finished writing a report at work. It is a report on new developments in the market for cat food. It doesn't sound very interesting, does it? But Kevin is very proud of his report, and he wants to impress his boss and his work colleagues. "I might be able to let you see my report," he says to one colleague, loudly so that the whole office can hear. "When you have read it, perhaps you could let me have your opinion on it." Poor Kevin. Perhaps someone should let him know that there are more important things in life than the market for cat food. 

Goodbye Tony, Hello Gordon 

Wednesday 27 June 2007 

We do not often talk about politics on this podcast, but today is different. Today is a special day. Our Prime Minister, Tony Blair, has been Prime Minister since 1997. But today he will resign. In fact, Tony Blair told us many months ago that he was going to step down. But instead of quitting immediately, he decided that he needed time to say goodbye properly. Since then, he has been saying goodbye to everyone - goodbye to his party, goodbye to Parliament, goodbye to President Bush, to the European Union, to the whole world. He has made speeches, he has gone to meetings, and attended receptions and dinners. He has appeared on chat shows and children's programmes on television. He has been like a pop star making one last tour, to bid farewell to his fans. Do his fans still love him? How many fans does he still have? I don't know and I don't care. After today we will have a new Prime Minister, and Tony Blair will be yesterday's man.  

Who will our new Prime Minister be? We have known for months, or even years, that Tony Blair's successor would be Gordon Brown. For the last ten years, Gordon Brown has been Chancellor of the Exchequer - that is, he has been Minister of Finance. He has been the second most powerful man in the government. He and Tony Blair have not had an easy relationship. The problem has not been about policy - it is difficult to see any real political difference between them. Rather it has been a clash of personalities. Tony Blair thought that Gordon Brown was trying to push him out. Gordon Brown felt that Tony Blair stayed as Prime Minister for far too long. Every week the press has reported some new row, or some new problem in their relationship. It has been like a national soap opera. We all looked forward to the next episode. 

What is Gordon Brown like? Well, he is Scots. He is serious-minded. He may have a sense of humour, but he hides it well. (The famous 18th century English writer, Dr Johnson, once said that it requires a surgical instrument to insert a joke into a Scotsman's brain. He was perhaps thinking of Gordon Brown). And Gordon Brown is a very skillful politician. 

His political skill is clear in today's newspapers. He has persuaded a Member of Parliament from the opposition Conservative Party to leave and join the Labour Party instead. In other words, on the day that he becomes Prime Minister, Gordon Brown has made his political opponents look foolish.  

His main opponent is the leader of the opposition, David Cameron. David Cameron is young - only 40 years old. He has an informal and easy style. People have described him as the "new Tony Blair". This may not help him very much; many people do not want a new Tony Blair. David Cameron comes from a rich family, and was educated at one of England's leading and most expensive private schools. Despite this, he would like people to think that he is in touch, particularly with younger people. So he has a You Tube site, and a podcast. Several months ago, I sent him an e-mail asking him if he would make a special guest appearance on this podcast. I regret to tell you, dear listeners, that I received no reply. Until David Cameron takes the Listen to English podcast seriously, I cannot advise you or anyone else to vote for him. 

Mud 

Friday 22 June 2007 

Glastonbury is a small town in Somerset in south-west England. It contains the ruins of an old abbey, and has some beautiful countryside around it. There are many myths and legends associated with Glastonbury. Many of these are stories about the Celtic people who lived in England before the Anglo-Saxons came in the 5th and 6th centuries. Today Glastonbury is a favourite place for people who are interested in alternative lifestyles. Here are some of the things you can do in Glastonbury: - you can buy organic toothpaste, or aromatherapy for your cat; - you can visit the burial place of the ancient (and probably mythical) King Arthur and his wife Guinevere; - you can try on a jumper covered in special Celtic patterns; - you can browse in a bookshop that specialises in things like New Age Ecology and Geomancy; - you can attend courses on Shamanism and witchcraft. 

In other words, if you believe in fairies, you will love Glastonbury. 

Glastonbury is famous as the home of the Glastonbury Festival. This is a festival of music, dance, theatre and comedy. It takes place on a farm a few miles from Glastonbury. People come from all over Britain and abroad to camp in the fields, listen to the music, make new friends and enjoy themselves. Glastonbury is in fact the largest festival of its sort in the world. It started back in 1970, and has been held on most years since then. Every year it becomes bigger, with more people, more bands and more to do and see. This year, about 180,000 people will come to the Festival to hear bands like the Arctic Monkeys, and singers like Amy Winehouse and Lily Allen, to listen to new poetry, and to see cabaret, circus and comedy performances.  

Unexpected things happen at Glastonbury. In 1994 the main stage burned down. In 2001 a fence collapsed and thousands of gatecrashers were able to get in. But above all Glastonbury is famous for mud. There was heavy rain in 1997 and again two years ago, in 2005. The rain itself is not a problem. We are English. We are used to rain. We are happy standing in the rain, eating sandwiches and listening to a pop concert. But the rain caused the streams to overflow, and because there were so many people at the festival, the fields turned to a sea of mud. There were pictures in the newspapers of festival goers covered from head to toe in mud. They looked very happy too. They obviously thought, "If we are going to get muddy, we might as well enjoy it". Sensible people now bring good waterproofs and several pairs of wellingtons with them to Glastonbury. The man who owns the farm where the festival is held - his name is Michael Eavis - is determined that this year the mud will not be a problem. He has spent hundreds of thousands of pounds on new drains and other improvements. However, all parts of England have had very heavy rain in the past two weeks, and the weather forecast for Glastonbury this weekend is - yes, more rain. So, which will win - Michael Eavis's new drains, or the mud? I am betting on the mud. 

Madeleine 

Wednesday 20 June 2007 

Madeleine McCann is four years old. Everyone in Britain knows about her. This is why. 

Madeleine lives with her parents Kate and Gerry McCann, and her younger brother and sister. Their home is in a town called Rothley in central England. It is a small town - the sort of town where nothing ever happens, certainly nothing that gets into the newspapers. 

At the end of April, the McCann family went on holiday to Portugal, to a resort called Praia da Luz. On the evening of 3 May, Gerry and Kate put their children to bed. When the children were asleep, at about 9.30pm, Kate and Gerry went to a restaurant close by to have a meal. At 10pm Kate came back to see that the children were OK. Madeleine was gone. 

It quickly became clear that Madeleine had not just woken up and gone for a walk. Someone had taken her. She had been kidnapped. 

The kidnapping of Madeleine McCann, and the search for her, has been a huge story in the British press and on TV and radio. Kate and Gerry have done everything they can to get publicity. They believe it is the only way they will ever see their daughter again. They have contacted everyone whom they think might be able to help them. They have met government ministers in several countries in Europe, and had an audience with the Pope. They have appeared on TV, and answered questions from journalists at press conferences. Newspapers have offered bigrewards for information which may help to find Madeleine. There are "Find Madeleine" websites, and people have put pictures of the missing girl onadvertising hoardings and in shop windows all over Europe, and on big screens at football matches. 

Despite all of this, there seems to be very little evidence to help the Portuguese police. One witness reports that he saw a man carrying a small girl wearing pink pyjamas at about the time that Madeleine disappeared. The Portuguese police have questioned a British man who lives near Praia da Luz, but they now say that they do not have any evidence against him. There has been a report that a girl who looks like Madeleine has been seen in Morocco. The police have asked people who were on holiday near Praia da Luz to send them their holiday photos. The police hope that somewhere in these photos, in the background perhaps, they will see a face that they know - the face of someone who has previously been involved in kidnapping or abusing children. 

And last week a Dutch newspaper received an anonymous message that Madeleine was dead, and that her body could be found in an area close to Praia da Luz. The police searched the area and found nothing.  

So Kate and Gerry McCann wait for news. They continue to try to create as much publicity as they can. Someone may have seen something which could help the police. Certainly someone, somewhere, knows where Madeleine is and what has happened to her. But for the moment, there is nothing. 

Blessed 

Friday 15 June 2007 

In a podcast last week, I talked about a pop group called the Zimmers. The Zimmers are all elderly people, who want to show the world that old people can be fun and creative. A few days ago I found a short poem about being old. It is by Barbara Beuler Wegner, but I am afraid that I have not been able to find out anything more either about the poem or about the writer. Here it is: 

Blessed are they who understand 

My faltering steps and shaking hand. 

Blessed are those who know my ears today 

Will strain to catch the words they say. 

Blessed are they who with a cheery smile 

Stop to chat for a little while. 

Blessed are those who never say 

"You've told us that story twice today". 

Blessed are those who make it known 

That I'm loved, respected and not alone. 

The word "blessed" is a religious word. It means being favoured by God. In modern English we would normally say "blest", rather than "blessed". But the writer was thinking about a famous passage in the Bible in which Jesus tells us what sort of people are closest to God. They are not the rich people, or the powerful people, or the famous people. They are poor people, people who carry great sorrow, people who show mercy, people who suffer, and so on. In a modern English Bible, the word that Jesus uses for these people is "blest". But older people like me remember a much older English translation of the Bible. In England we call it the Authorised Version of the Bible. In America, they call it the King James Bible, because it was translated into English at the beginning of the 17th century, in the reign of King James I. (Do you remember the podcast about the Fifth of November? King James was the king whom Guy Fawkes tried to blow up.) The Authorised Version of the Bible is sometimes difficult to understand, because it uses English which is very different from modern English. But it is very beautiful and poetic, and it was the version of the Bible used in churches in England for more than 300 years. And in the Authorised Version, the word which Jesus uses to talk about people who are close to God is "blessed". And that is why the word "blessed" is used in this poem. 

Ago, for and since, and why it is a good idea to learn French. 

Wednesday 13 June 2007 

Many English learners find that they get confused between words like "ago", "since" and "for". Today's podcast gives you lots of examples of how to use these words; I hope it will help you to use them correctly. 

Suppose that we want to talk about when we did something, or when something happened. We can use the word "ago". We can say, for example, "it happened two weeks ago" or "a year ago" or "five minutes ago" or "a long time ago". With "ago" we always use words which describe a period of time - a week, a month, 10 minutes.  

If we want to say for how long we did something, or how for how long something happened, we can use the word "for" - "for about a week", "for 10 years", "for a short time". And, like "ago", we use "for" with a period of time - a week, a year etc. 

Another way of talking about how long we have done something is to use the word "since" - "I have been ill since Monday", "since Christmas", "since I got up this morning". With "since" we always have to use words which describe a point in time - words like "last week" or "Winter" or "1998". We do not say things like "since a week" or "since 10 minutes". Everybody clear? Then let's begin. 

Kevin and Joanne have just had a holiday. First, they looked at lots of travel brochures. Perhaps they could take a cheap flight to Marocco. "We went to Maroccotwo years ago", said Joanne. "Lets go somewhere different." 

"We could go to Scotland again", said Kevin. "I like Scotland".  

"We went to Scotland a year ago," said Joanne. "It rained for the whole week." 

"Well, how about France", said Kevin. "I haven't been to France since I was at school." So they decided to go camping in France. 

They set off in the car. But they had forgotten that there were roadworks on the motorway. There have been roadworks on the motorway for the last two years, since the beginning of 2005. They arrived at Dover late.  

"Our ferry left 10 minutes ago", said Kevin. "We shall have to wait for an hour for the next ferry." 

They got on the next ferry without problems. For the next hour and a half, they relaxed, drank coffee and ate a sandwich until the boat arrived in Calais. Then they drove through France for another 3 hours.  

"We must be near the campsite now", said Joanne. "But I am sure we came through this village before, about 20 minutes ago". 

They turned left and found themselves in a farmyard with cows and hens. So they went back and turned right, and found themselves in an industrial estate with factories and warehouses. They stared at the map, but they could not work out where they were. "We will have to ask someone", said Kevin. And this was a problem. First, because there was no-one around to ask; and second because neither Kevin nor Joanne spoke more than a few words of French. They drove for another 10 minutes, looking for someone who looked as if they could speak English. And this was difficult, because you cannot tell, just by looking at someone, what languages they speak. Then they saw a man working in his garden. They stopped the car. Joanne tried to remember the French that she had learned at school. "Excusez- moi, monsieur. Parlez-vous anglais?" And the man said that he did speak English - in fact, he was English. 

He explained where the campsite was. "We passed it 10 minutes ago", said Kevin. And he asked the man how long he had lived in France.  

"We bought our house 10 years ago," the man explained. "For the next six years, we came here every summer for our holidays. Then, four years ago, I retired from my job. Since then, we have lived permanently in France." Kevin asked the man whether he could speak French. "Of course," said the man."We did not want to be like all those English people who go to live in France or Spain and never learn a word of the language. My wife and I started learning about 8 years ago, and since 2003 we have been to classes in French in the nearby town." 

Well, Kevin and Joanne found the campsite. For the whole of their holiday the sun shone, and they relaxed and enjoyed themselves. And when they returned home, they decided that it was not good enough that neither of them could speak French. So they have enrolled in an evening class, where they are now struggling with the mysteries of French irregular verbs. 

Hoovers, Zimmers and Sellotape 

Friday 08 June 2007 

Do you know what a hoover is? The Hoover company makes vacuum cleaners, that you use to keep your house clean. In fact, Hoover made some of the earliest vacuum cleaners. They were about the size of a supermarket trolley, and made as much noise as a jet engine. But people loved them, and we started to talk about a "hoover" instead of a vacuum cleaner, even if the cleaner was not made by Hoover. We still do this today - we talk about "hoovering the sitting room" or "doing the hoovering". 

There are several other things which we often call by the name of the company that first made it. "Sellotape" is a transparent, sticky tape which you use to stick paper, for example if you are wrapping a present to give to someone. We say "sellotape" even if the sticky tape is not made by the Sellotape company. 

A "thermos flask" is a vacuum flask (or bottle) used to keep drinks hot or cold. Originally flasks like this were sold under the trade name "Thermos". "Kleenex" is a brand of paper tissues, that you might use to blow your nose. We often call any paper tissue a "kleenex" even if it is made by a different company. 

My final example has been in the news this last week. It is "zimmer". A zimmer is awalking frame, generally made of aluminium, that very old people often use to help them to walk. The first walking frames were made by an American company called Zimmer. And why are zimmers in the news? If you are a keen student of the British pop music charts - I am, of course - you will see that a band called the Zimmerswas at number 26 last week, singing a song called Who's My Generation. And the Zimmers really do have zimmers. Their lead singer is Alf Carretta. He is 90. "I hope to die before I get old", he sings. His backing group have a combined age of over 3000. I believe that Buster Martin, whom we met a few weeks ago in a podcast, is one of the group. The Zimmers want to make people think about the situation of elderly people. They want to show that old people can be creative, dynamic and fun. Alf Carretta says that singing in the band has brought him back to life. "I was 90 and stuck in a rut. And now I feel that I have come alive again", he says. The Zimmers' video has become a big hit on YouTube. When I grow up, I want to be a Zimmer too. 

Big Mac 

Thursday 24 May 2007 

After my last podcast, I am sure that many of you have applied for jobs as spies for the British Secret Intelligence Service. But what will you do if they say no? If they say that they don't want you; they have enough spies already; and they don't think you would be very good at spying anyway? 

Well, in most big cities nowdays, you can get a job in McDonalds, the chain of fast-food restaurants. You can make and sell burgers and chips (or "French fries" as the Americans call them). You can clear the tables and do the washing-up. Or you can sweep up the rubbish which people leave in the car park. It probably isn't very interesting work, and probably McDonalds won't pay you much money. But it is at least a job. 

Or a McJob, as some people say. A McJob is a low-paid boring job with few prospects in a service industry, like McDonalds restaurants. The word McJob has been used for at least 20 years, and for the last 6 years it has been in the Oxford English Dictionary, which means that it is officially recognised as part of the English language. 

But McDonalds don't like this. They say that the word "McJob" is an insult to the wonderful, hard-working men and women who work in their restaurants. They say that work in the fast-food industry today is fun, exciting and well-paid. And they want the Oxford English Dictionary to change the definition of McJob. They have persuaded a number of leading business people to write a letter to the dictionary, and they have organised a petition that anyone can sign.  

The Oxford English Dictionary will probably reply that it is not their job to change what words mean. If people use the word "McJob" to mean a badly paid job in a fast-food restaurant, then it is right for the dictionary to say that that is what the word means. There are lots of words in the dictionary which people use in cruel, unfair or insulting ways - but that is not the fault of people who write dictionaries. They might even say that it is insulting to poorly paid people to pretend that they have wonderful jobs when actually their jobs are not wonderful. And that it is insulting to French people for McDonalds to call their chips "French fries".  

The truth is that most jobs in fast-food restaurants are boring and badly-paid. There are few benefits or career prospects, and many people only work there for a few months until they find something better. Like a job as a spy for example.  

I shall be away in Germany next week (Hallo, Deutschland. Ich komme euch zu besuchen!), but I will be back with a new podcast on about 7 June. To keep you company, here are the Nashville Session Players with Big McDonald. 

Do you want to be a spy ...... 

Tuesday 22 May 2007 

Intelligence. What does it mean? The word "intelligence" has two main meanings in English. First, it can mean "mental capacity" - if you are intelligent, you can think clearly and rationally, for example. But "intelligence" also means information. For example, we can talk about "market intelligence" - and that means, information about what is happening in a market, such as the stock market or the international oil market. Very often, we use "intelligence" to mean information which is secret, or which has been obtained illegally. Many governments have "intelligence services" which collect secret information about other countries, or about the government's opponents at home. Intelligence services employ agents - or, to use the more normal word, spies. To spy on someone means to watch them secretly, without them knowing.  

A few days ago, an advert appeared in the jobs section of the newspaper which I read. "Don't keep your intelligence secret!" it said. It was an advertisement for jobs in the British Secret Intelligence Service - the SIS or, as it is sometimes known, MI6. It was an advertisement for spies. 

Many years ago, I worked in British Embassies in the Middle East and in Scandinavia. In the Embassies, there were some diplomats who were from the Secret Intelligence Service (SIS). It was supposed to be secret, but everyone knew who they were. Of course, we were not allowed to call them spies, or people from the intelligence service - we had to refer to them as "our friends". Sometimes we saw their intelligence reports. They were marked "Top Secret" and told us things that we knew already. I do not know how the SIS recruited people to work for them in those days. Perhaps they approached people in secret, and invited them to secret interviews with secret people.  

In those days, too, the name of the head of the SIS was never made public. He was known only as "C". He wrote things in green ink. No-one else was allowed to use green ink. It was all very ridiculous. 

But nowdays it is different. The SIS advertises for spies in the newspapers, and even has a website which tells you what the SIS does and what sort of people it wants to recruit. It has a grand headquarters building at Vauxhall Cross in the centre of London. And we know that the head of the SIS is called John Scarlett. He is well-known in Britain. In his previous job, he advised our government that it was OK to say that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction. The fact that he was completely wrong obviously did his career no harm. 

But that is how many organisations work. If you are a junior employee and you make a big mistake, they sack you. If you are a senior person, they promote you.  

Photo of the SIS Headquarters at Vauxhall Cross by TPMpix\/flickr 

Plastic Rubbish 

Thursday 17 May 2007 

Rebecca Hosking makesdocumentary films. Recently, she worked on a documentary film for the BBC about the effect of plastics in the marine environment. She was shocked by what she saw as she was making the documentary. She found many sorts of sea creatures that were choked or poisoned by plastics. It is estimated that every year, over 100,000 sea birds, whales, sealsand turtles are killed by plastic rubbish in the sea. Some of this rubbish comes from ships, when people carelessly throw things overboard. But most plastic rubbish in the sea comes from the land. People throw away things made of plastic. Some of it ends up in rivers and gets carried out to sea. Other rubbish is blown into the sea by the wind.  

Plastic is very useful stuff. It is cheap, and it can easily be formed into all sorts of shapes. And it lasts a long time before it starts to break down. But this is also the problem with plastics. Plastic rubbish in the sea or on the land lasts for very many years. With time, plastic accumulates in the environment in greater and greater quantities. 

And the strange thing is that we often use plastic things for only a very short time before we throw them away. We put our shopping into a plastic bag at the supermarket, and when we get home - perhaps 15 minutes later - we throw the plastic bag into the bin. Or we are thirsty and buy a plastic bottle of mineral water. Ten minutes later we have drunk all the water and throw the bottle away. 

Some other countries have taken action to reduce the amount of plastic rubbish. In Ireland, for example, you have to pay for plastic bags in the supermarkets, and most people have stopped using them. In Britain, you can return used plastic bags to some supermarkets, and some local councils collect some sorts of plastic for recycling. But most used plastic in Britain is simply thrown away. I am afraid that our government talks a lot about environmental problems, but does not do much about them. Rebecca Hosking realised that it was no good waiting for our government to act; ordinary people had to take the initiative themselves. 

Rebecca comes from a small town in Devon in south west England called Modbury. She decided that Modbury could become the first town in England where there were no plastic shopping bags. For many weeks, she talked to the traders in Modbury. She explained, time and again, about the damage which plastic does in the environment. She researched the possible alternatives to plastic bags, how much they cost, where they come from and how they can be used. Gradually she got all the shopkeepers in Modbury to agree. On 1 May this year, they all stopped offering their customers plastic bags. Modbury is the first plastic-bag free town in Britain, and perhaps in Europe. If you ever visit the beautiful county of Devon, be sure and shop in Modbury. 

Results 

Friday 11 May 2007 

My podcast today is about the word "result", and the different ways we can use it. 

Last week I said that I would tell you theresults of the local elections in England and the elections in Scotland and Wales. That means, I shall tell you what happened - who won, who lost. 

You remember that here in Birmingham we were electing councillors to run our local authority, Birmingham City Council. The result in my ward was that the Liberal Democrat candidate won. In the city as a whole, the Conservative party won three more seats than it had before, and the Conservative - Liberal Democrat coalition will continue to run the city. This is what we expected would happen - it was the expected result. 

In Scotland, the result of the election was much more dramatic. For the first time for very many years, the Labour party is not the largest party in Scotland. The Scottish National Party, which wants Scotland to become an independent country, will have one more seat than Labour in the new Scottish Parliament. But it does not have a majority in the Parliament. It is talking with the other parties. The resultof these talks may be a coalition between the SNP and some other parties. Or theresult may be that the SNP forms a minority government. 

We can of course talk about the result of a football match - that is, how many goals each team scored. We can talk about the results of an exam - did you pass the exam? how many marks did you get? If you do a Google search on your computer, Google will give you many pages of results for the search. If you are doing a scientific experiment, the data or information which you get from the experiment are called the results of the experiment. In maths, the answer to a calculation or a problem is often called the result. And if you are ill, your doctor may take a blood sample from you, and send it to be tested. Later, he will tell you theresults of the test - things like how many white cells there are in the blood. 

We can also talk about the results of a competition. This weekend, we shall learn the results of the Eurovision Song Contest. If you live outside Europe, I should explain that the TV companies in Europe each year run a competition to choose a song for Europe. Singers and groups from every European country take part. And it is bad, bad, bad! Only very specially bad songs win the Eurovision song contest. The British entry this year is called Flying the Flag. It is sung by a group called Scooch. They are dressed as airline cabin staff and sing wonderful lines like: 

Ba-ba-da, Ba-ba-da, Ba-da-da-ba, ba-da  

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah 

Ba-ba-da, Ba-ba-da, Ba-da-da-ba, ba-da  

Now that is bad. But is it bad enough? Is it possible that other countries have even worse songs? What will the result be? We shall find out on Saturday. I can hardly wait! 

Banksy 

Tuesday 08 May 2007 

In the podcast "In Disgrace", I used the word "graffiti". Do you know what it means? It is an Italian word, which has come into English. It means "things which are written" generally on an outside wall, or on some other public surface such as the side of a bus or a train. Graffiti became a big problem in British cities when shops started to sell aerosol cans of spray paint. With spray paint, it is quick and easy to cover a whole wall with a picture or writing. Many people say that graffiti make our towns and cities look ugly and uncared for. If there are lots of graffiti, it encourages other sorts of anti-social behaviour, such as litter, fly-posting, abandoning old cars and drinking alcohol in the street. Many local authorities spend a lot of money removing graffiti, and most people probably think that they are right to do so. But are all graffiti bad? 

Let me introduce you to the controversial British graffiti artist, Banksy. We are not certain what his real name is - maybe he is called Robert Banks, probably he lives in Bristol in the south west of England, and people say that he is around 30 years old. He has painted some very famous graffiti in some very famous places. I have put a few examples on the website, and I hope you can see them on your iPod screens as well. Most of Banksy's art is political and subversive. That means, it is intended to annoy governments and powerful people and to undermine them. Sometimes, his art makes people think differently about the world; very often it makes them smile.  

Banksy has for example, painted pictures on the concrete wall that the Israeli government is building between Israeli and Palestinian areas. These pictures look as if they are gaps in the wall, through which you can see beautiful things on the other side. Banksy has smuggled fake pictures into art galleries and museums and stuck them on the wall alongside the real exhibits. One of these was a piece of rock, carved like a caveman painting, but showing a person pushing a supermarket trolley. Last year in America, he painted an elephant - yes, a real live elephant, so that it looked as if it was covered in wallpaper. You remember the podcast about the elephant in the room? Banksy's elephant was a real elephant in the room - he was trying to tell people that global poverty was the big, important subject that no-one wants to talk about. At about the same time, Banksy smuggled an inflatable dummy dressed as a Guantanamo Bay detainee into Disneyland in California. My favourite however is this - in London there is a famous statue of the ancient British Queen, Boadicea, and her chariot - Banksy put a wheel clamp on the chariot, so that it looked as if as if it was illegally parked. 

Why is Banksy in the news at present? Well, Transport for London, which is the organisation responsible for buses and underground trains in London, has recently painted over a famous Banksy graffiti near Old Street tube station. It shows a scene from Quentin Tarantino's film Pulp Fiction, with Samuel L Jackson and John Travolta. Only, instead of guns, they are carrying bananas. Transport for London said that they had to take a tough line on graffiti because they create an atmosphere of social decay. What do you think? 

Incidentally, if you are interested in modern art, you may like to visit the BBC orGuardian websites after 11.30 tonight (British time). You will be able to download and print an artwork called "Planed" by the artists Gilbert and George. But hurry - "Planed" will be available for only 48 hours. 

Images are from the Banksy website, and from Walt Jabsco\/flickr 

Election Day 

Thursday 03 May 2007 

Today is the first Thursday in May, which is often an election day in Britain. People in many parts of England are voting today in local council elections. In Scotland there are elections to the Scottish Parliament, and in Wales there are elections to the Welsh Assembly. Our elections today are not as important or exciting as the French Presidential election on Sunday, but you may be interested to hear something about how they work. There is a separate vocabulary note with a list of words relating to elections. 

To be honest with you, many British people don't think that today's elections are important or exciting either. Turnout for the local authority elections in England will probably be low - normally only 25 to 30% of voters bother to vote in local elections. Turnout for the elections in Scotland and Wales will probably be higher. But election day is always important and exciting for one group of people - primary school children. Many primary schools are used as polling stations - that is, places where people go to vote - so naturally the children get a day off school. 

This morning I went to my polling station at our local primary school. Apart from myself, there were only two other voters there. The officials at the desk asked me for my name and address, and checked that I was on the election register. They gave me a ballot paper, which contained the names of the candidates and the political parties that they represent. There are seven candidates in our ward. I am allowed to vote for one candidate, by putting a cross beside his or her name on the ballot paper. Then I put the ballot paper into a locked ballot box, which is on the table beside the election officials.  

This evening, after the polls close at 10pm, the locked ballot boxes will be taken to the local council offices in the centre of Birmingham. Officials will open the boxes and count the votes. Some people vote by post, and the officials will count the postal votes as well. 

Each ward in Birmingham is electing one "councillor" in at this election. The person elected will simply be the candidate who gets most votes. We call this the "first past the post" electoral system - it is like a horse race; the only important thing is who gets to the finishing line first. We do not have proportional representation for local authorities, nor for elections to Parliament. But there is proportional representation for elections to the Scottish Parliament and the Welsh Assembly, and for the European Parliament. Some people think we should have proportional representation in all elections. The "first pass the post" system favours the big parties - Labour and the Conservatives - and naturally these parties do not want a change. Small parties, such as the Liberal Democrats and the Green Party, find it difficult to win any seats under "first past the post" - so they generally support proportional representation. 

So what will happen in today's elections? In Birmingham, the local authority is run by a coalition of Conservatives and Liberal Democrats. The Labour party would like to regain control, but this is not likely at this election. Indeed, Labour is likely to lose seats at these elections, partly because the Labour government is unpopular at present. In Scotland, it is possible that the Scottish National Party will for the first time become the largest party in the Scottish Parliament. The SNP want complete independence for Scotland. We should know the results by tomorrow afternoon. I shall let you know what happens. 

About to... 

Tuesday 01 May 2007 

You know how to talk about the future in English. You use words like "will" or "shall" or "going to". 

In English, we also have a way of talking about things which are in the future but very close to the present - perhaps ony a few minutes into the future. We use the expression "about to", like this: 

Kevin and Joanne are going to Spain for a holiday. They have packed their suitcases and bought some euros. Now they are waiting by the door for the taxi to come and take them to the airport. They are about to leave for their holiday. 

It is 10.30 in the evening. Joanne has had a shower and washed her hair and put her nightdress on. Then the telephone rings. It is her mother. "Mum", says Joanne, "I can't talk for long. I am about to go to bed". 

It is the middle of the afternoon, and my children are about to come home from school. And when they get home, they will be hungry, so I am about to make them something to eat. 

We can use "about to" and "when" like this: 

Kevin and Joanne were about to leave for their holiday when Kevin found that he did not have his passport. 

Joanne was about to go to bed when the telephone rang. 

We were about to eat our picnic when it started to rain. 

So - we use "about to" for the very near future. If we want to talk about something in the very recent past, we can use the word "just". Unfortunately, "just" has several different meanings in English, but one of the most common meanings is to show that something has happened very recently, like this: 

Kevin and Joanne are now returning from their holiday (It's OK - Kevin found his passport). They arrive at the airport and find a taxi to take them home. They open their front door and walk in. They have just arrived home. 

Kevin and George are watching a football match on television. Kevin goes into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. While he is there, he hears a great roar from the sitting-room. He rushes back in. "What's happened?" he asks. George replies, "United have just scored." 

And, because I am recording this podcast in the garden, I can tell you that I havejust planted some beans and some potatoes. 

We can use "just" and "when" like this: 

Kevin and Joanne had just got home when the telephone rang. (Guess who it was that's right, Joanne's Mum!) 

Kevin had just made the tea when United scored. 

I had just planted the potatoes when it started to rain. 

Photo of man diving by fez\/flickr.The man has just jumped off a boat. He is about to hit the water. 

Kinder Scout 

Thursday 26 April 2007 

I am recording the podcast today outdoors, that means outside, in my garden. So do not be surprised if you hear the sound of traffic, or birds singing, or children playing. And today's podcast is about the outdoors - the hills and the open countryside, and how important they are to people who live in cities. 

At one time, several centuries ago, a lot of the land in England was "common land". That means that it was land that anyone could walk on. Some common land was used for grazing sheep or cattle, but a lot of it was simply empty, unused land. But in the 18th and 19th centuries, Parliament passed new laws which "enclosed" a lot of the common land. That means that the land became private property, owned by a landowner. In some areas, like the Pennine hills in the north of England, the new landowners wanted to use the land for hunting and shooting. They built fences to stop ordinary people from entering the land; they blocked ancient footpaths; they employed gamekeepers with sticks and guns so that the landowners and their rich friends could shoot grouse, pheasants and other birds in peace.  

But not everyone was happy with this. Some people saw the Pennine hills as places where ordinary people could enjoy fresh air and the countryside after a week working in factories in the dirty industrial cities. Seventy-five years ago this week, a group led by a young man called Benny Rothman organised a mass trespass. (To "trespass" means to go onto private land without permission). The trespass took place at Kinder Scout, which is the highest point in the Peak District in Derbyshire. Kinder Scout was owned by the Duke of Devonshire, who refused to let people walk there. About 400 people took part in the trespass. They fought a brief battle with gamekeepers, and then walked to the summit, where they held a meeting. When the trespassers returned to the village where they had started, the police arrested five of their leaders. They were later sent to prison. 

Many people were shocked that these young men had been so harshly punished. The trespass started a change in public and political opinion. Since 1932, there have been many changes. It is now possible to walk freely in many places that were once closed. Kinder Scout itself is now owned by the National Trust. You can walk and picnic there and enjoy the views without any danger of being arrested or sent to prison. Thanks to Benny Rothman and the mass trespass of 24 April 1932. 

Pictures of Kinder Scout by bennbeck\/flickr and earthwatcher\/flickr 

What does it mean Watson... 

Monday 23 April 2007 

We use the word "mean" in English in lots of different ways. I imagine that you use the word very often. You ask your English teacher what a particular English word means. You say for example, "What does 'tree' mean?" You are saying, what is the word for "tree" in my language? How can I translate the English word "tree"? 

But we can use "mean" in other ways too. For example, you remember that Joanne's mother really does not like Kevin, and she is unpleasant to him every time they meet. But last time they met, she was quite nice. She asked about his football team, and where he and Joanne were going on holiday. What can it mean? Why was she so nice? What is the explanation?  

Another example. I go to my bank website to check how much money is in my account. I see that there are two tranactions which I do not remember. What can this mean? Has someone stolen my debit card? Has the bank made a mistake? Or have I simply forgotten what I spent the money on? What is the explanation? 

And another example, with a slightly different meaning. Kevin goes to a party at his friend George's house. He stays until about 1am. This means that he has missed the last bus home. It means that he will need to walk home or get a taxi. In other words, the result of staying late at the party is that Kevin has missed the bus and will have to walk home. 

In the early 20th century, the English writer Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote books and short stories about a detective called Sherlock Holmes. You have probably heard of him, since the Sherlock Holmes stories have been translated into many different languages. Sherlock Holmes had a companion, Dr Watson, who worked with him on many of his cases. 

Here is a Sherlock Holmes joke that I found in the newspaper last week. 

In one of their adventures, Holmes and Watson needed to travel to a remote place. There was no house where they could stay, so they took a tent with them. As evening fell, they pitched the tent, and after they had eaten their supper they went to sleep in the tent for the night. 

In the middle of the night, Holmes woke Watson and said, "Look up, Watson. What can you see?" 

And Watson woke up, and looked. "I see the stars," he said. "There are thousands and thousands of them."  

"And what does it all mean, Watson?" said Holmes. "What does it mean?" 

And Watson replied, "Well, if there are millions of stars and even a few of those stars have planets, it is quite likely that there are other planets like earth in the universe. And if there are a few planets like earth in the universe, there might also be life - living things like us." 

"You fool Watson," replied Holmes. "It means that someone has stolen our tent!" 

Photo of Basil Rathbone as Sherlock Holmes in the 1939 film The Hound of the Baskervilles 

Football in New Zealand 

Thursday 19 April 2007 

Today's podcast is by Mark. He is a football coach in New Zealand. 

Hello everyone. 

A few years ago, I moved from England to New Zealand to coachfootball to children in Auckland, the biggest city in New Zealand. I'd like to tell you about the differences between football in England and football in New Zealand. 

I grew up in London in England and spent many hours as a child playing football with my friends in the park. We used to play football after school and at the weekend, and often all day long in the school holidays. One of the first things I noticed when I moved to New Zealand was that very few children play football after school or at the weekends. Even on a sunny day in New Zealand, many of the parks will be completely empty! In cities in England, children will arrange to meet their friends for a game in the park, but in New Zealand the children only ever play football when it's organised for them by their parents or by their team coach. 

If you've ever played football, you will know that it takes many hours of practice to get skilful and make the ball do anything you want it to. Sometimes it can take lots and lots of mistakes before a child gets it right! In New Zealand, children don't spend a lot of time playing football on their own so they don't try new things and make mistakes. Instead they spend an hour or two a week being told what to do by a parent or a coach. This means they don't get to make their own mistakes and learn things for themselves. Imagine learning English and never being allowed to make a mistake? It would be very difficult, and not much fun either! 

The best two football countries in the world are currently Italy and Argentina. England is eighth best, and New Zealand are at 132. In New Zealand, football in called soccer and although it is played by lots of children, most people prefer to watch rugby. New Zealand has a national rugby team called the All Blacks, and they will almost certainly win the rugby World Cup in France later this year. In New Zealand all the children want to grow up to be an All Black, and all their heroes androle-models are rugby players. 

For those of you who haven't seen a rugby game, let me explain how it works. The ball they use in rugby is not a round ball like in football, but is oval shaped - like an egg. Each team has 15 players, and the aim is to get the ball to the other end of the field. The players can do this by running with the ball in their hands, or by kicking it up the field. They can also throw the ball to each other but only if it goes backwards. It is very common in a rugby game to see huge kicks up the field so the team can advance together and get closer to scoring some points. As I said, New Zealand are very good at rugby and everyone in the country loves to see the All Blacks play. 

I have coached football in New Zealand for three years now, and I think New Zealand's love of rugby affects the way they play football, or soccer as they call it. Let me explain what I mean. In Italy or Argentina or England the most important thing in football is for the players to pass the ball to someone else on their team. If you are lucky enough to watch Italy play Argentina, you will see the players often pass the ball backwards or sideways to a team-mate. However, in New Zealand it is very common to see soccer players kick the ball up the field as far as they can and then chase after it, just like they do in rugby! And when a soccer child in New Zealand does a big kick up the field, it is very common for the parents watching the game to clap loudly and say 'Well done! Nice kick!' They don't care where the ball goes, as long as it goes a long way! 

Photo of rugby match, New Zealand Maoris playing the British Lions by Dan Macmillan\/flickr 

In Disgrace 

Thursday 19 April 2007 

Welcome back. I hope you all had a good Easter break. 

Today I want to tell you about the English expression "in disgrace". The best way to explain is to give you some examples. 

Example one. A little girl wants to make some new clothes for her doll. She makes the clothes by cutting up one of her mother's dresses. Her mum is furious. She sends the little girl to her bedroom with no supper. The little girl is "in disgrace". 

Example two. A politician makes speeches about the importance of the family and family values in society. Then the newspapers report that he is having an affair with his secretary. Everyone laughs at him and he is forced to resign. He is "in disgrace". 

Example three is a true story that was reported in the newspapers over the Easter holiday. The Bell family - Alan and Elaine Bell and their four children - live in a very nice modern house in a very nice estate of houses in the north-east of England. Elaine Bell is houseproud - that means that she likes to keep her house very neat and tidy. During the Easter holiday, Elaine and Alan and their three younger children went away for a holiday. But their eldest daughter Rachael, who is 17 years old, did not want to go. "OK, Rachael," said her parents. "You can stay at home. But no parties, and definitely no alcohol, while we are away." So Rachael stayed at home by herself. 

But she wasn't alone for long. She decided to have a party for a few friends. Or maybe quite a lot of friends. She wrote about the party on her MySpace page, inviting everyone to come and to bring plenty of alcohol. And everyone did come. About two or three hundred young people arrived at her parents' house. Some of them were her friends, others were people she had never met before. The party became a riot. The party-goers trashed the house. They broke things; they wrote graffiti on the walls; they urinated on the carpets; and some were sick over the furniture. They got drunk and made a lot of noise. The neighbours called the police. The police arrived in vans with police dogs. Some of the neighbours tried to chase the young people away with golf-clubs. It was a night to remember. 

When Rachael's parents arrived home, they found their house in a terrible state. They think that the damage will cost \u00a320,000 to put right. They are of couse furious with Rachael. Rachael herself has disappeared. She has gone to stay with a friend, perhaps for a long time. She says she is very sorry; but she is definitely "in disgrace".  

Photo "Shame" by E J Richards\/flickr 

Spring 

Tuesday 03 April 2007 

It is April, and the spring has arrived, even here in Birmingham. When we talk about the spring, what sort of things can we say? What words and expressions do we use? Here are some examples: 

In spring, the days grow longer. We put our clocks forward by one hour at the end of March, so that there is more light in the evenings after work. 

The days get warmer, too. But there can still be cold days, and sudden showers of rain. There is a little rhyme which goes: 

March winds and April showers 

Bring forth May flowers. 

The daffodils bloom in the garden, and there is blossom on the damson trees. The leaves on the trees begin to open. 

The birds sing in the trees, and they start to build their nests.  

In the garden, we sow the first seeds, and plant potatoes. We mow the lawn for the first time this year. 

We go for walks in the country to enjoy the spring weather. We see lambs and young calves in the fields, and rabbits in the woods, and primroses in the hedgerows. 

In fact, it is such a nice time of year that I am going to take a break for the next two weeks. The next podcast will be on about Wednesday 18 April. To keep you company until then, here is some music. It is by Robert Schumann, and it is called Fruehlingsnacht, which is German for Spring Night. It is played by Leon McCawley and it comes from Magnatune. There is also a short vocabulary note with this podcast. 

Photos of spring in Birmingham Botanical Gardens, by Peter Carter 

April Fools Day 

Sunday 01 April 2007 

Today is the first of April. The first of April is traditionally called All Fools Day, or April Fools Day. It is a day formischief, or playing tricks on people; and for getting people to believe things which are not true. 

Today is the 50th Anniversary of one of the most famous April Fools Day tricks. It was 1957. BBC television had a weekly documentary programme called Panorama. Panorama was a serious and respected programme, reporting on news events around the world. On 1 April, Panorama included a report about the problems facing spaghetti farmers in Switzerland. There were pictures of people picking spaghetti from spaghetti trees and laying it in the sunshine to dry. But the spaghetti farmers were afraid that a late frost would damage the spaghetti crop, and destroy their livelihood.  

Fifty years ago, most British people did not know much about Italian food like spaghetti. Many people apparently accepted the documentary at face value. Some people say that it was many years before they found out that spaghetti does not really grow on trees.(No. Spaghetti really does not grow on trees. It was a joke. Alright?) 

The Panorama report was a spoof. Ever since then, it has been common for newspapers to carry spoof stories on 1 April. So this morning, I opened my newspaper eagerly, to find the spoof story. There was a story that the London Transport lost property office had just found the owner of an urn containing human ashes which had been left on the underground eight years ago. Surely that was a spoof? But no, the story was in fact completely true. 

And then I found it. I told you in an earlier podcast that our Prime Minister, Tony Blair, is expected to retire later this year. What will he do when he is no longer Prime Minister? According to the Observer newspaper, he will start a new career as an actor. He has been offered a part in a play at a leading London theatre in the autumn. He is already learning his lines. He is practising them with his staff in 10 Downing Street. He has also been offered parts in the BBC's science fiction programme Dr Who, and in several comedy shows. 

But is this really an April Fool spoof? Our Prime Minister is one of the finest actors in Britain today. He can convince people of anything. He can convince himself of anything. Such as that there are weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Do you know Shakespeare's play, King Lear? It is about an arrogant and powerful king who decides to retire. He divides his kingdom between his three daughters. But he then argues, first with one daughter and then with the others, until in the end he goes mad. Tony Blair as King Lear? Yes - I think so. 

Picture of woman in Switzerland picking spaghetti from spaghetti trees 

Running round the world 

Friday 30 March 2007 

Robert Garside is 40 years old and he has run all the way round the world. He started in New Delhi in India in 1997, and finished his epicjourney four years later. In the course of his run, he crossed 29 countries in 6 continents. He covered 35,000 miles and wore out 50 pairs of running shoes. He says that the worst bit was when he had to go without food for 3 days. He was put in jail in China for not having the right papers, and in Panama he was threatened by armed men who wanted to steal his backpack. But there were good times as well, he says, for example when he was crossing the Himalayas.  

If you think you have achieved a world record in something really strange and unusual - like eating more pizzas than anyone else, or surviving for longest underwater - then you can ask Guinness World Records to recognise your claim. The people at Guinness World Records are not stupid. They want lots of evidence and look very carefully at it. They also check that someone else has not eaten more pizzas than you have, or survived for longer underwater. If they are satisfied, they will print your name in the next Guinness Book of Records and give you a certificate to hang on the wall at home, where your friends can see it. 

Guinness World Records have investigated Robert Garside's claim to have run all the way round the world. They looked at the photos and videos that he took, and at his credit card recipts, and other evidence. Last week they announced that, yes, he had indeed run round the world, and they gave him a certificate. 

But some people - journalists and other long-distance runners - are not convinced. They claim that he made up the accounts of parts of his journey. One reporter says that Robert Garside was in a bar in Rio do Janeiro at a time when he claimed to be running across the Amazon basin. Another says that Robert Garside had himself admitted that he did not do everything he claimed to have done. But the Guinness people believe him, and maybe that is all that matters. 

World records have been in the news this week. The England football team has had its worst ever start to the European Cup qualifying rounds. They have now beated Andorra (wow!) but there is still a long way to go. And the world's tallest man, who comes from Mongolia, has got married. There were pictures of him and his bride in the papers this week. He is at least twice as tall as she is. I am sure they will be very happy together. 

Gazing out to sea... 

Tuesday 27 March 2007 

Do you know what "to gaze" at something means? It means to look at something for a long time. And normally the thing that you are gazing at is a long way away. So we might say, for example, that I gaze at the distant hills, or I gaze at the horizon. And where is the best place for gazing? Beside the sea, of course. People often stand on the shore, or on the rocks, or on a cliff, and gaze out to sea. Sometimes they are looking at a boat, far away at sea. Sometimes they are looking at nothing in particular. They are just gazing. 

If you go to a place called Crosby, near Liverpool on the west coast of England, you will see 100 men gazing out to sea. They are not real men, however. They are sculptures, made of cast iron. Each one is six feet tall - that is, about 180 cm. They were made by the sculptor and artist Antony Gormley, who modelled them on his own body. His 100 men have not always been at Crosby. For a time they were beside the sea at Cuxhaven in Germany, and later they moved to Stavanger in Norway. But when Antony Gormley first saw the wide, empty beach at Crosby, he knew that this was the right place for his 100 men. But in Britain, you are not allowed just to go to a beach and put 100 statues on it. No, you have to get permission first. You have to ask the local authority for planning consent. In 2005, the local authority agreed that Antony Gormley could put his statues on the beach, and keep them there for 16 months. Some people did not like the statues. They said that they spoiled the beach; or that they disturbed feeding sea-birds; or that they were dangerous. Some people complained because the statues are of naked men, with no clothes. But other people thought that the statues were wonderful, and that they made people think in new ways about the empty beach and the sea. After a lot of argument, the local authority has now agreed that Gormley's 100 men can stay on Crosby beach permanently. 

Antony Gormley's sculptures are now quite well known in Britain. We have one of them in Birmingham. It is called "Iron : Man". But his most famous statue is calledthe Angel of the North. It is a huge statue - over 20 metres tall - of an angel with outspread wings. The wings are the size of the wings on a jumbo jet. It stands on a hill overlooking the town of Gateshead in north-east England. You can see it if you drive north into Newcastle along the main A1 road. At first the Angel of the North was very controversial, but now most people love it. It has become a famouslandmark. 

Pictures of Antony Gormley's statues at Crosby and the Angel of the North at Gateshead byIann Croll\/flickr, Phillip Capper\/flickr and David Wilson Clarke\/wikipedia 

A Day with Juliet 

Thursday 22 March 2007 

Juliet is seven years old. Her mother has just had a new baby, so it is arranged that Juliet can stay with Kevin and Joanne for a few days, so that her Mum can rest. Joanne told Kevin that Juliet was coming to stay, but Kevin was watching a football match on television and just grunted. 

The next day Juliet arrived. "Hello, Kevin. I'm going to stay at your house so that my Mum can look after my baby brother." Juliet sat down at the kitchen table. "I want some orange juice and a biscuit. Have you got orange juice and biscuits?" So Kevin gave Juliet a glass of orange juice and a biscuit. 

Then Juliet said, "I want to draw a picture." So Kevin found Juliet some paper and a pencil, and Juliet drew a picture of her house, and her garden, and her Mum and her baby brother, and the sun shining. 

"Now you draw me a picture," said Juliet. So Kevin drew Juliet a picture of men playing football.  

"That's a nice picture", said Juliet. "I want to go for a walk now". So Kevin found Juliet her shoes and her coat, and Juliet put them on. They walked up the road, past the newsagent's shop. 

"Please Kevin, can you buy me a comic," said Juliet. So Kevin went into the newsagent's and bought Juliet a comic. 

They went to the park, and played with a ball. Juliet kicked the ball into some bushes. "Please Kevin, can you fetch me the ball?" So Kevin fetched Juliet the ball. 

Juliet played on the swings, and then it was time to go home. "I want a cake for tea," said Juliet. "Please Kevin can you make me a cake". So Kevin made Juliet a chocolate cake. It was quite a good cake, especially since Kevin had never made one before. Juliet licked the mixing bowl. 

Then Kevin got Juliet her tea - bread, cheese, apple and chocolate cake. After tea Juliet watched television, and then it was time for bed. "Please Kevin, read me a story, " said Juliet. So Kevin read Juliet a story. "Tell me another story". So Kevin told Juliet another story. "Show me the pictures in the book." So Kevin showed Juliet the pictures in the book. "I want to go to sleep now, "said Juliet."Give me a good-night hug." So Kevin gave Juliet a hug, and Juliet went to sleep. 

Later, Joanne came home, and Kevin told her what he and Juliet had done. Joanne laughed. "That girl has got you wrapped round her little finger," she said. "I know," said Kevin. "Just get me a beer." 

In this podcast there are lots of sentences which contain indirect objects. There is a grammar and vocabulary note which explains all about them. 

How to Live to be 100 

Tuesday 20 March 2007 

Recently, Mr Buster Martin had a birthday. He went to work as normal, and his colleagues at work organised a party for him. There was a birthday cake, and candles, and everyone sang "Happy Birthday to you". It was a special occasion. Buster Martin was 100 years old. He is the oldest person still in employment in Britain. He works for a company in south London. He cleans their vans for them for 20 hours each week. In fact, he started working for the company only three years ago, when he was 97. He applied for the job because he was getting bored at home. If you dont keep moving, he says, your joints seize up and you end up in a wheelchair. 

Buster Martin has had a remarkable life. He was born in France, but was brought up in an orphanage in Cornwall in south-west England. Then he came to London to work in the markets. For thirty-five years he served in the armed forces - the army and the navy - mainly as a physical education instructor. He says that he has never had a day off work through illness. His wife died many years ago, but he has 17 children, and has lost count of his grandchildren and great-grandchildren. He thinks there are about 70 of them. They come to see me when they want money, he jokes. 

Recently he was attacked by muggers as he was leaving a pub. They knocked him to the ground, but he got up again and kicked one of them hard in ...well, somewhere where it really hurts. His attackers ran away. Buster had scratches and bruises from the attack and was taken to hospital. He walked out of the hospital next day and went to work. So how does Buster Martin manage it? How does he stay so fit and active? He says that he does press-ups every morning and drinks several pints of beer every evening. I am not sure about the press-ups but the beer sounds like a good idea. 

Scam 

Friday 16 March 2007 

Today's podcast introduces the English word "scam". What is a scam? Imagine this situation. I set up a website. The website says that you can buy new digital cameras really cheaply. You are interested. You think you would like to buy one of my cheap cameras. So you click the buttons and enter your credit card number. Then you wait for the camera to arrive. But it doesn't arrive. I have taken your money and disappeared. That is a "scam". Other English nouns that mean more or less the same are "swindle" and "fraud".  

Why are we talking about scams today? Well, in Britain there are a number of shows on television which invite people to telephone the show. Sometimes people phone in to answer questions in a quiz. Sometimes they phone in to vote on something - for example on who should win a song competition. The telephone numbers which these TV shows use are "premium rate telephone numbers". That means that the telephone calls cost more than normal calls - sometimes very much more. And the TV company gets part of the money from the call. 

Now, speaking personally, I think you have to be either very stupid or very bored to ring a premium rate telephone number on a TV show. But it is a free country. If it makes people happy to spend money in this way, then that is OK. It may be silly, but it is not a scam. 

About two weeks ago, however, a news report appeared which said that on one TV show, the presenters had invited people to telephone the show to win a chance to appear in a quiz. However, the TV company had already secretly chosen the winners. So the viewers were paying for the expensive telephone calls, but none of them could win. It's a scam, said the newspapers. And lots of people agreed. 

And then it emerged that the same sort of thing had happened on other TV shows. Embarrassed TV executives told viewers that they were very sorry and that it would never happen again. The regulator for premium rate telephone calls started an investigation. It is even possible that the police will look at some of the more serious cases. 

Then two days ago, the worst happened. For many years, the BBC have had a children's TV show called Blue Peter. It is quality children's television; it is fun; it is clean; it is wholesome. Parents like it. Most children like it too. A few months ago, there was a quiz on Blue Peter. The presenters asked children to phone in if they thought they knew the answer. Lots of children did phone. They (or, rather, their parents) paid 10p for each call. But there was a technical problem, and none of the calls reached the studio. Instead, the BBC asked a girl in the audience to pretend to be somebody phoning the show. She answered the question correctly and won a prize. 

Now, this was a mistake, not a scam. But the BBC were very embarrassed that such a thing could happen on a respected show like Blue Peter. It is like discovering that your grandmother sells illegal drugs. British people generally do not trust or believe politicians or estate agents or used car salesmen. Now we don't trust phone-in TV programmes either. 

How Peter Rabbit Saved the Lake District 

Tuesday 13 March 2007 

Today's podcast is about a woman called Beatrix Potter. She was born in London in 1866, and grew up there. But her family used to go to the Lake District in north-west England for holidays, and she came to love the Lake District and to know it well. As a girl, she enjoyed drawing pictures, particularly pictures of animals. Her drawings were very good. If she had been a man, perhaps she would have become a serious scientific artist - drawing pictures of plants and animals for scientific journals and museums. But in England at the end of the 19th century, scientists were almost all men. 

So, instead of a career in science, Beatrix Potter wrote books for chidren, and illustrated them herself. ("To illustrate" a book means to draw pictures or take photographs for it.) You probably know some of these books, because they have been translated into many other languages. The English names for some of them are: 

The Tale of Peter Rabbit 

The Tale of Tom Kitten 

The Tale of Mrs Tiggiwinkle. 

The pictures in these books show how carefully Beatrix Potter observed animals - what they look like, what they do, how they move. If real rabbits wore little blue jackets, they would look just like her pictures of Peter Rabbit. But she was not sentimental about animals. People kill and eat animals. In the natural world, animals hunt and kill other animals. Farmers keep animals for food, not because they look pretty. So, in her books, Peter Rabbit's father is put in a pie by Mrs McGregor. Mr Jeremy Fisher (a frog) is swallowed by a fish. Pigs are sent to market to be sold and slaughtered. Some people today do not like this side of Beatrix Potter's stories. They say that children who read the stories will be frightened or upset. I think children prefer to be told the truth about the world. 

By the time she was in her 40s, Beatrix Potter was beginning to earn money from her books. She bought a farm in the Lake District, and then another and another. She worked hard as a farmer, and kept pigs and sheep. In fact she became an expert on Herdwick sheep - a special, very ugly breed of sheep that is found in the Lake District and nowhere else. She cared passionately about the Lake District and the need to preserve its natural beauty.  

When she died, in 1943, she left all her properties in the Lake District to the National Trust. The National Trust is an organisation which tries to preserve special landscapes and buildings all over England and Wales. It owns a lot of land in the Lake District, and makes sure that the traditional character of the area is maintained. And that is how, thanks to Peter Rabbit, the Lake District is still a beautiful and unspoilt part of England. 

Incidentally, people tell me that schools in Japan use Beatrix Potter's books to teach children English. Is this really true? Can my Japanese listeners please leave comments on the website, or send me an e-mail? 

Picture is one of Beatrix Potter's illustrations for The Tale of Peter Rabbit 

The House of Lords 

Thursday 08 March 2007 

I have some political stuff for you in today's podcast. 

In Britain, we have a Parliament. Parliament makes new laws and oversees the government of the country. There are two chambers, or Houses of Parliament - the House of Commons and the House of Lords. The House of Commons is made up of Members of Parliament (we call them MPs) whom we vote for at General Elections. It has much more power than the House of Lords. The government needs to have the support of a majority in the House of Commons. If it loses this support, the government would have to resign. 

The House of Lords is different. It has much less power. But it is also more independent of the government. Sometimes, the House of Lords is able to force the government to reconsider its policies or proposals. The members of the House of Lords are called "peers". Some peers are appointed by the government or other political parties. Some peers are appointed by an independent body. And some of the peers are "hereditary peers" - they are members of old noble families who have inherited their place in the House of Lords. And then there are bishopsand archbishops of the Church of England - they are in the House of Lords, too, and so are the most senior judges in the country. In other words, of the 746 members of the House of Lords, not one has been elected by the people. How complicated, you may think. How undemocratic. How out-of-date. 

A lot of people in this country think so as well. But it has been difficult to agree what sort of House of Lords should replace the present one. Four years ago, Parliament looked at a number of possible ways of reforming the House of Lords, and rejected all of them. Recently the government suggested that most of the House of Lords should be elected, but that some peers should be appointed by the government or other political groups. Last night the House of Commons debated this issue. To everyone's surprise, it agreed by a large majority that all the members of the House of Lords should be elected by the people - no more appointed members, no more hereditary peers.  

This is a big and important change. It will take time to implement. The government will have to present a bill (a draft law) to Parliament, and to decide in detail when and how elections to the House of Lords should be held, and what powers the new House of Lords will have. Many members of the present House of Lords will not be happy - they are, after all, likely to loose their jobs. But change is nowinevitable. Last night's vote in the House of Commons was an important step towards creating a modern, democratic system of government in Britain. 

The picture is of Baronness Amos, the Leader of the House of Lords. She was born in Guyana and came to Britain when she was nine year's old. 

Going to Secondary School 

Tuesday 06 March 2007 

In England, children normally start school when they are about five. They go to a primary school until they are 10 years old. Then they move to secondary school. This is big change for children. Secondary schools are much bigger than primary schools. Many children have to travel to secondary school on a bus or a train. There are new teachers and new subjects. And many unfamiliar faces.  

The move to secondary school is sometimes a big problem for parents too. Which secondary school will their children go to? In theory, parents can choose a school for their children. But some schools are very popular - for example, schools with good exam results, or good facilities - and others are not popular - for example, schools with poor exam results, or where the behaviour of the pupils is bad. In some secondary schools, there are not enough places for all the children who would like to go there. So there needs to be a way of deciding which children get places in the most popular schools and which do not. 

The most common way of allocating school places is to offer places first to children who already have an older brother or sister in the school, and then to children on the basis of how close to the school they live. In many parts of England, this system works well. But it can lead to schools in nice white middle class areas recruiting only nice white middle class children, while children from poorer social backgrounds go to other schools. Well-off parents can afford to buy a house close to a good school, to make sure that their children get places there; less well-off parents may not be able to do this. The result, some people say, is too much social segregation - white middle class children at one school, poorer children at another. It is rather similar to the problem in many American cities of racial segregation in schools - some schools almost entirely white, others almost entirely black. 

Are there any alternatives? At one time, children in Britain sat an exam in their last year at primary school. It was called the "eleven-plus" exam, because it decided which school children could go to from the age of 11. Children who did well in the exam went to schools called grammar schools, which offered an academic education. Children who did not pass the exam went to secondary modern schools, which offered a less academic and more practical education. This system still survives in place in England - including here in Birmingham. In theory, places in grammar schools are offered to pupils on merit, without regard to their social background, or how far from the school they live. In practice, however, middle class parents pay private tutors to prepare their children for the grammar school exams. The grammar schools are largely middle class schools and take only a few children from poorer families.  

There are also faith schools in England. These are schools in the state school system which are run by a religious group. Most of them are Roman Catholic or Church of England schools, though there are some Jewish and Moslem schools as well. So, Roman Catholic schools offer places first to children from Catholic families, and only accept children who are not Catholics if they have places left. And similarly with other faith schools. Many faith schools are good schools, and some middle class parents "get religion" in order to get a place for their child at a faith school. 

The problem has been in the newspapers this week because in two places in England, the local authority has decided to that places at secondary schools will be offered by lottery - in other words, the schools will offer places at random. It will no longer be important to live close to the school, or to pass an exam, or to go to church regularly. If you are lucky in the lottery, your child will get a place at a good school. If you are unlucky, they will not. This is very controversial. Will it be a good system for allocating places in good, popular schools? We shall have to wait and see.  

Picture is of girls at Swanshurst School, Birmingham where my daughter goes to school 

The Elephant in the Room 

Saturday 03 March 2007 

Today we will discover three English expressions or idioms. All of them use the names of animals - big animals. The first animal that we meet is a bull. 

Imagine a bull standing in a shop. The shop sells china - plates, cups, saucers, bowls, tea-pots. There are shelves full of delicate china ornaments. The bull is not violent or aggressive. But every time he moves or tries to turn round, he bumps into the shelves, and a pile of china crashes to the ground.  

If someone is clumsy - if they knock something over every time they go into a room, or trip over the carpet, or collide with the TV, we say, "He's like a bull in a china shop." We can say this also about someone who is clumsy in their relations with other people - some who always says the wrong thing, someone who is tactless and offends other people without meaning to, someone who always causes confusion and misunderstanding - "He's like a bull in a china shop". 

Next, the horse. Imagine that it is 100 years ago, when horses pulled carts through the streets, and there were no cars. Here is a horse and cart. What is at the front? The horse, of course! And what is behind? The cart. That is the right way round. If the cart was in front and the horse behind - well, that would be all wrong. 

There are some people who always misunderstand things. They do the least important things first, and leave the most important things until later. They always seem to get things the wrong way round. They "put the cart before the horse". 

And finally, the elephant. Imagine you are at a reception, perhaps at a foreign Embassy. There is a big room, full of people. The people are talking noisily. They are drinking cocktails and eating cocktail snacks. In the corner of the room is a large elephant. Everyone in the room knows that the elephant is there. But they take no notice of it. They don't even want to talk about the elephant. It might be impolite to talk about it. It might cause problems.  

We can say that something, or some subject, is "the elephant in the room". It means that this thing, or this subject, is big and important. Everyone knows it is big and important. But no-one wants to talk about it.  

It is in fact a very modern expression. I first heard someone say "the elephant in the room" only a few months ago. Now everyone is saying it. "The elephant in the room is the weakness of the US dollar" or "The elephant in the room is the fact that he split up with his wife last week." Yes, Listen to English will keep you to keep up to date with all the latest English expressions. Have a good week, and remember never to put your elephant before the horse in a china shop. Or something like that. 

Picture of elephant in Ngorongoro Crater, Tanzania by orclimber\/flickr 

The Family 

Thursday 01 March 2007 

This podcast is about families, and the names which we give in English to the relationships between family members - names like mother, grandparent, cousin and uncle. 

You will probably find it helpful to look at a diagram while you listen. I have uploaded two pdf files with this podcast. You can download them and then open them if you have Adobe reader on your computer. If you can, print them. 

On the files, you will see what we call a family tree. That means a diagram which shows how different people are related to each other. Lets start with the youngest members of the family. They are Lucy, who is 5 years old, and her little brotherBenjamin, who is 3. Lucy and Benjamin are siblings; but we don't use the word siblings very much in English. Normally we would just say that Benjamin and Lucy are brother and sister.  

Lucy and Benjamin's parents are John and Mary. John is their father. Mary is theirmother. Mary has a sister, called Joan, who is married to Harry. Joan and Harry are Lucy and Benjamin's aunt and uncle. Joan and Harry have two children of their own - a son called Max and a daughter called Judy. Max and Judy are Lucy and Benjamin's cousins. 

Lucy and Benjamin have another uncle, Uncle Lewis, who is their father's brother. Uncle Lewis is not married and has no children. 

Lucy and Benjamin have two sets of grandparents. Their father's parents are James and Susan. They have retired and moved to Spain, where they live in a flat overlooking a building site with distant views of the sea. They are Lucy and Benjamin's grandfather and grandmother. The other grandparents are of course their mother's parents, Fred and Eileen. Fred's parents, Jack and Edith are still alive. They are both over 90 years old, and live in an old people's home. Jack talks for hours about what he did during the Second World War. Edith sits and says "Yes, dear" from time to time. Jack and Edith are Lucy and Benjamin's great-grandparents. 

Now look at the second pdf file. It shows the same family, but from the point of view of John and Mary. We already know about their children - their daughter Lucy and their son Benjamin. Mary has a sister, Joan, who is married to Harry. Harry is Mary's brother-in-law. ("In-law" means the relationship is through marriage - Harry is her brother-in-law because he is married to her sister). You remember that Joan and Harry have two children - Max is John and Mary's nephew, and Judy is their niece. 

Fred and Eileen are Mary's parents. They are also John's father-in-law and mother-in-law. (We sometimes say "parents-in-law", but like "sibling" it isn't very common). Fred and Eileen call John their son-in-law. And, of course, John's parents call Mary their daughter-in-law. 

Incidentally, the plural of "daughter-in-law" is "daughters-in-law" not "daughter-in-laws"! And similarly with the other "in-law" relationships. 

Complicated, isn't it, even in a simple family like this one. Why not draw a diagram of your own family and practice talking about the relationships of the various family members. I shall find something a little more light-hearted for the next podcast. 

Picture by beppie k\/flickr 

Night Mail 

Friday 23 February 2007 

The English poet Wystan Hugh Auden was born 100 years ago this week. He wrote over 400 poems, and he was always known by his initials - W H Auden. 

When he was young, he was a radical, both in his politics and his poetry. But - like many of us - he became more conservative as he grew older. A lot of people did not like Auden or his poetry. In particular, they criticised him because he left Britain to live in America during the Second World War. But some of Auden's poems have remained very popular. One of them is called Night Mail. There is a link from the podcast website to a site which has the full text of the poem. I am going to read you only a few bits. There is a grammar and vocabulary note for the podcast. It is on the website, and - as an experiment - I have also posted it as a pdf file which you should be able to download direct from iTunes. (You will however need Adobe Acrobat Reader on your computer). 

How did the poem come to be written? In the 1930s, the Post Office decided to make a short film about the mail trains which carried letters and parcels overnight between England and Scotland. The composer Benjamin Britten wrote music for the film and the Post Office asked W H Auden to write a poem as part of the commentary. The Night Mail was one of the famous "travelling post offices". The men and women who worked on the train sorted the letters and parcels as the train travelled through the night. The Night Mail was of course pulled by an express steam locomotive. It was a magnificent sight as it thundered northwards. Auden's poem began: 

This is the Night Mail crossing the border, 

Bringing the cheque and the postal order, 

Letters for the rich, letters for the poor, 

The shop at the corner, the girl next door. 

Pulling up Beattock, a steady climb, 

The gradient's against her, but she's on time. 

Auden tells us about the letters which the train was carrying: 

Letters of thanks, letters from banks, 

Letters of joy from girl and boy, 

Receipted bills and invitations  

To inspect new stock or to visit relations,  

And applications for situations, 

And timid lovers' declarations, 

And gossip, gossip from all the nations.. 

Of course, letters were much more important to people in the 1930's than they are today. Today we keep in touch with friends and relatives by telephone or e-mail. Most of the letters I receive are what we call junk mail - catalogues for things I don't want to buy, special offers on car insurance and mobile telephones.  

At the end of the poem, Auden tells us about the people all over Scotland who are still asleep and dreaming. 

But they shall wake soon and hope for letters, 

And none will hear the postman's knock  

Without a quickening of the heart. 

For who can bear to feel himself forgotten? 

Artwork from poster for the film Night Mail 

Offas Dyke 

Tuesday 20 February 2007 

Today's podcast is about the word "run". You know what "run" means. If you are late, you have to run to catch the train. In a football game, the players run after the ball. But we can use "run" in lots of other ways as well. As we shall see. 

Last week, I visited Ludlow, which is a town about one and a half hours' drive from Birmingham. It is an old market town. There is a castle, and lots of "black and white" half-timbered buildings. A friend of mine runs a hotel in Ludlow, and that is where we stayed. From Ludlow, we drove along a road which runs beside a river to another town - even smaller - called Knighton. Knighton is in Wales, not England. You know that you are in Wales because all the road signs are in the Welsh language as well as in English. 

The border between England and Wales has been peaceful now for hundreds of years. But it was not always like that. In the eighth century, King Offa ruled a kingdom called Mercia in central England. He had trouble with the Welsh. He built a great wall of earth and a ditch along the western border of Mercia to help to defend his kingdom. (He didn't build it himself, of course - he sent thousands of his men to do it for him!) His wall is called Offa's Dyke, and you can see the remains of it today. In fact there is a footpath which runs all the way along Offa's Dyke. It starts in Prestatyn in north Wales and runs to Chepstow in the south. It crosses wild hills and beautiful valleys and is perhaps the finest long-distance footpath in Britain. Knighton is about half way along the footpath, and the local tourist authority runs an information centre there, where you can learn more about Offa's Dyke. 

Look at some of the ways we can use the word "run". 

My friend runs a hotel. 

The tourist authority runs an information centre. 

The road runs beside the river. 

The Offa's Dyke footpath runs from Prestatyn to Chepstow. 

My local bus route runs from Druids Heath in south Birmingham to the city centre. 

The buses run from 5am to midnight. 

At weekends they run every hour throughout the night as well.  

The play runs at the theatre from 7 to 27 March. 

Last week, my car broke down. But now it is running fine. 

Sometimes, I leave my computer running all night. 

On Saturdays, the train runs 10 minutes earlier than on other days. 

So you will have to run to catch it. 

Panoramic photo taken near Offa's Dyke by John Wesley Barker\/flickr 

Getting on 

Thursday 15 February 2007 

Today's podcast is about the expression "getting on". What does it mean? Well, if I ask someone "How are you getting on?" I mean "How much progress have you made?". It is easiest to explain with some examples. 

Example number one. I ask my children, "How are you getting on with your homework?" I mean - how much homework have you done, have you started your homework, have finished your homework yet? And my children might reply - "I'm nearly finished"; or, "I'm getting on OK"; or, "go away and stop nagging me". 

Example number two. I might ask you, "How are you getting on with your English?". I mean - how much progress have you made in English; have you learned about the continuous tenses yet; can you read an English newspaper; can you understand a TV programme in English? And you might tell me that you are learning about passive verbs; or that you are reading a novel in English. Or you might tell me to go away and mind my own business. 

Example three. I am decorating the living room. My wife asks me, "How are you getting on?" I might tell her that I have painted the ceiling; or that I have started cutting the wallpaper. Or I might give her a paint brush and ask her to help. 

Example four is a bit different from the others. You have a new colleague at work. His name is John. I ask you, "How are you getting on with John?" I mean - how is your relationship with John. Is he a difficult person to work with, or an easy person. And you might tell me, "I get on well with John. He is a really nice person." Or, "I have to be careful what I say to him. He is difficult to get on with". 

OK? Everything clear? Then let's see how Kevin and Joanne are getting on. 

You remember that Joanne had joined a gym. She said she would go every day and become super-fit. Well, she doesn't go to the gym every day. She has too many other things to do. She goes about twice a week. But she is getting on well; she has lost weight and she is feeling fitter. At first she did not get on with the fitness trainer at the gym. Joanne though she was bossy and had no sense of humour. But now she gets on with the trainer much better. 

And how about Kevin? How is he getting on? Kevin decided not to join the gym. But he has started to play squash with his friend Scott. Squash is a game that you play in a big room with concrete walls. You hit a small rubber ball very hard with a racquet. You try to make it difficult for your opponent to hit the ball back. The first time Kevin was completely exhausted in 5 minutes. But now he has improved; he is getting on much better. Last week, he beat Scott for the first time ever.  

Kevin is an easy-going guy. He gets on with everyone. Everyone? Well, everyone except Joanne's Mum. He doesn't like Joanne's Mum and Joanne's Mum does not like him. Joanne has to keep them apart. They do not get on together. 

Photo of game of squash by Qstreet\/flickr 

The Least Visited Place in England 

Monday 12 February 2007 

In the county of Norfolk, in Eastern England, during the Middle Ages, people used to cut peat from the ground. They dried the peat in the sun, and used it as a fuel for fires. Over time, the places where people had cut the peat filled with water, to form shallow lakes. Today these lakes are called the Norfolk Broads. They are home to many species of water plants and birds. There are oldwindmills along the banks of the rivers. The sedge which grows in the water is cut and used to make traditional thatched roofs for houses. And, of course, the area is very popular with visitors. Thousands of people go to the Norfolk Broads each year, and enjoy boating on the Broads and the slow-moving rivers. 

But there is one part of the Norfolk Broads which has hardly any visitors. Indeed, it is estimated that maybe only 50 people have been there in the last 100 years. That is about the same number of people who climb Mount Everest each year. It is smaller than the number of people who have been in space. 

The place is called Sutton Fen. It is not big, only about 170 hectares. Like the other Broads, it is a stretch of shallow water, filled in many places with reeds, sedge and other water plants. The land around is marshy and impossible to cross on foot. There are rare plants, insects, birds and animals. The only sounds are sounds like these. That booming noise is the song of the bittern, a water bird which is now very rare in England. Bitterns still live in Sutton Fen. 

For many years Sutton Fen has been privately owned. But now it has been bought by the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds, which is one of Britain's largest conservation charities. They will be responsible for managing Sutton Fen, to keep it a special place. They will cut some of the sedge to keep the waterways clear. But apart from that they will try to keep Sutton Fen in its present condition. Probably more than 50 people will go to Sutton Fen in the next 100 years, but it it will still be one of the least visited places in England. 

Mary had a Little Lamb 

Friday 09 February 2007 

Reading poetry for children can often help you to learn a foreign language. Why? Because poetry written for children is simple, and uses words and language which are close to the ordinary spoken language. And generally these poems are short, and make you laugh. I have two little poems for you today. The first one is a traditional children's rhyme called Mary had a Little Lamb. It goes like this:- 

Mary had a little lamb, 

Its fleece was white as snow, 

And everywhere that Mary went 

The lamb was sure to go. 

It followed her to school one day, 

That was against the rules. 

It made the children laugh and play 

To see a lamb at school. 

Look at the first line - Mary had a little lamb. In English, we often use the word "have" to mean "eat". For example, Kevin has a chocolate bar with his coffee in the morning. This means that he eats a chocolate bar with his coffee. I have a sandwich and an apple for lunch. That means, I eat a sandwich and an apple. The waiter in a cafe may ask you, "What would you like to have?" and this means "What would you like to eat?" So, "Mary had a little lamb" - that couldn't possibly mean "Mary ate a little lamb", could it? The American children's poet, Bill Dodds, thinks so. 

Mary had a little lamb, 

a little toast, 

a little jam, 

a little pizza 

and some cake, 

some French fries 

and a chocolate shake, 

a little burger 

on a bun. 

And that's why Mary 

weighs a ton. 

Copyright Bill Dodds 

Photo of lambs by Gerry O'Niell\/flickr. Collections of children's poetry including poems by Bill Dodds here and here 

Whos Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf 

Monday 05 February 2007 

The Russian composer Sergei Prokoviev once wrote a musical story called Peter and the Wolf. The different instruments of the orchestra represent the different characters in the story - Peter, the cat, the bird, Peter's grandfather and so on. Here is part of the music which represents the wolf. 

Wolves are the fiercest animals in Europe - but nowdays there are very few wolves left in the wild. Wolves were hunted to extinction in England in the Middle Ages, and the last wolf in Scotland was probably killed about 250 years ago. You can still see wolves in zoos of course, and wolves live on as the villains in many popular children's stories. But surely it is a good thing that there are no longer wolves living in the wild in this country? 

Well, not everyone thinks so. If you go to the Highlands of Scotland today, you will see that the hills and mountains are almost completely treeless. It was not always like this. At one time, forests covered a large part of the Highlands. If the forest could re-establish naturally, it would provide a home for many types of plants and animals. The problem is that in many areas there are too many deer. In fact there may be as many as half a million deer in the Scottish Highlands. Wild deer are beautiful animals, but they can cause a lot of damage to plants and young trees. It is very difficult for young trees to survive where there are large numbers of deer.  

Wealthy people pay a lot of money to go to Scotland to hunt deer. But they do not kill enough deer to reduce the population. In some areas, landowners cull the deer - that is, they shoot deer to try to reduce their numbers. But this is not always effective. The number of deer keeps on growing. The problem is that, apart from people, deer have no natural predators - that is, there are no other animals that hunt the deer for food. Once, wolves hunted deer in Scotland, but now of course there are no wolves. 

A goup of ecologists has recently suggested that the answer is to re-introduce wolves to Scotland. They estimate that if this is done, the number of deer would fall to about a quarter of the present number in 50 or 60 years, and that this would enable the forest to recover and other plants and animals to find a home. 

Some people welcome this idea. But many farmers and landowners do not. They fear that the wolves will attack farm animals, particularly sheep; or even that they would attack people. The subject is very controversial, and it is likely to be many years - if at all - before wolves again live in the wild in Britain. But the wolf is Northern Europe's equivalent of lions in Africa or tigers in India. It is the biggest predator, at the top of the food chain. If we think it is important to protect lions and tigers in other countries, why not wolves in Britain as well? 

Photo of wolf by uli1001\/flickr 

The Last Witch in England 

Thursday 01 February 2007 

Do you know what a witch is? A witch is a woman who has magical powers (or, at least, other people think she has magical powers). In England, in the 17th century, witches were often treated very cruelly. Practising witchcraft was against the law. Many witches were put to death. Of course, these poor women did not really have magical powers. They did not really practice witchcraft. They were often widows living alone with no family to protect them. Perhaps they had done something to annoy or frighten their neighbours. The neighbours then accused them of witchcraft, and the "witch" would then be arrested, and perhaps tortured or killed. 

But that was a long time ago. Surely it is many years since a woman was arrested and accused of being a witch. Well, not as long ago as you might think. The last occasion was in 1944, during the Second World War, and it happened like this. Helen Duncan, who came from Scotland, had a special gift - she was able to talk to the spirits of dead people. Or at least, she said she could do this, and plenty of people believed her. She held meetings, called seances, where people sat in a circle holding hands while she attempted to speak to the spirits of the dead. At one seance, the parents of a young sailor were present. Their son was missing, and they feared that he might be dead. Mrs Duncan spoke to the spirit of the young sailor. She told his parents that he had died when a German submarine had attacked his ship. Now, the young man was indeed dead, and his ship had indeed been attacked by a submarine, but the government had kept this secret. So how did Helen Duncan know? Was she a spy? Was she a witch? What other military secrets did she know? What else might she say? The authorities decided that they had to silence her. She was arrested and accused of witchcraft. The court found her guilty and sent her to prison for 9 months. 

The Prime Minister, Winston Churchill, thought that sending Helen Duncan to prison for witchcraft was "tomfoolery" ("Tomfoolery" is an old-fashioned word meaning silly nonsense). He visited her in prison, and a few years after the War had ended he persuaded Parliament to repeal the old laws on witchcraft. 

So, if you want to be a witch in Britain today, you can be - thanks to Helen Duncan and Winston Churchill. 

How to arrive 

Wednesday 31 January 2007 

Today we will learn something about the word "arrive". I will tell you when to say "arrive at" and when to say "arrive in". And I will also tell you that you must never say "arrive to"! 

Kevin and Joanne are going to visit their friend Amy, who lives in Glasgow , the largest city in Scotland. They arrange when they will come, but then need to decide how to travel. Kevin does not want to drive. It is a long way, and there are roadworks on the M6 motorway which will cause delay, frustration and bad temper. (There are always roadworks on the M6 - it is part of the traditional British way of life). 

So they decide to take the train. Now, in Britain train fares are often very expensive unless you buy your tickets at least a week before you travel. Kevin is lucky - he finds some cheap tickets on the internet.  

On Friday, Kevin and Joanne set off; they take a bus and arrive at the railway station. Miraculously their train is on time. Four hours later they arrive in Glasgow. They take a taxi and arrive at Amy's flat at about 4pm. 

On the way home they are not so lucky. When they arrive at Glasgow Central station, they find that their train is late. Moreover, one of the carriages is missing, so the train is overcrowded and some passengers have to stand for their journey. The train arrives in Birmingham, at New Street Station, about an hour late.  

The rule with "arrive" is this. If we are talking about a big place - a country or a town for instance - then we say arrive in. For example: 

Kevin and Joanne arrive in Scotland 

They arrive in Glasgow 

They arrive back in Birmingham 

But when we are talking about a small place, an individual house or building, for example, we say arrive at. For example: 

Kevin and Joanne arrive at the railway station 

They arrive at Amy's flat 

They arrive at the airport 

Kevin arrives at work 

The children arrive at school 

Some English learners say "arrive to". For example, "I arrive to Paris tomorrow". This is wrong. You should say "I arrive in Paris tomorrow" ("Arrive in" because Paris is a big place). 

You will sometimes hear people say "I arrived at Birmingham at 3pm" or "I arrive at Paris in the afternoon". Is this OK? Surely they should say "in Birmingham" and "in Paris"? Well, it is OK if they are saying "Birmingham" to mean "Birmingham railway station" or "Paris" to mean "Paris airport". 

I know that this is complicated. But do not despair. Remember that you can useget to instead of "arrive in \/ at". Kevin and Joanne get to the railway station, theyget to Glasgow, they get to Amy's flat, they get to the airport, Kevin gets to work, the children get to school. It is always "get to". Easy. English people use expressions with "get" all the time, so it is a good idea to practice using them.  

Trains in Britain are often overcrowded, but not generally as overcrowded as the one in the picture above. 

The Shipwreck 

Thursday 25 January 2007 

This podcast uses words and expressions about ships and the sea. These words may be new to you, so on the podcast website I have linked some of them to definitions in the Cambridge Advanced Learners' Dictionary. But if you are listening on iTunes or an iPod, obviously you won't see these links. So, if you need help with what the words mean, go to the podcast website. 

You will also see and hear that I refer to a ship as "she" and not "it". A ship can be either "she" or "it" in English. And, no, I don't know why! 

Last week a fierce storm swept over England. It was in fact the worst storm for 17 years. Thirteen people in Britain were killed by falling trees and other accidents, and many more in other countries in Europe. At sea, off the south west coast of England, the storm damaged a large container ship, the MSC Napoli. Water broke into her engine room, and the captain decided to abandon ship. A helicopter came to take all the crew to safety. Two tugs then towed the ship to shallow water, where she went aground on a sandbank.  

Then two more problems arose. Oil started to leak from the Napoli into the sea. Conservation experts feared that the oil would damage the sea birds and other wildlife along this beautiful stretch of coast. Thousands of sea birds have already been affected by the oil. A salvage company has now started to pump the oil from the Napoli into a small tanker, but it may take two weeks to complete this work. 

The other problem was that the Napoli, stuck on the sandbank, was listing heavily. About 100 of the containers on her deck slipped into the sea. The salvage company has started to unload the remaining containers onto a barge alongside the Napoli. It is important that this is done quickly as some of the containers contain dangerous chemicals. 

Meanwhile, many of the containers which had fallen into the sea floated to the shore. People walking along the beach at Branscombe found containers full of cosmetics, babies' nappies, pet food, BMW motorbikes, car parts and many other things. The news spread, and soon hundreds of people arrived to loot the containers. In centuries gone by, it was common for people living near the coast in south west England to take things from ships which were wrecked on this rocky coast. But we did not think it was possible today. However, in England, you are legally allowed to take things from a shipwreck, provided that you tell the authorities, and you return them to the owners if they ask for them. How many of the looters will tell the authorities what they have taken? How many will hide their loot and sell it on eBay after a few weeks when the fuss has died down? However, if you think you would like to come to Branscombe beach and join in the fun, you are too late. The police have now closed the beach to stop further looting. 

Picture of MSC Napoli agound in Lyme Bay by berryhead 999\/flickr You can find other flickr photos of the Napoli and the looting on Branscombe beach here. 

Marmalade 

Tuesday 23 January 2007 

One of the strangest things about English people is what we eat for breakfast. Some people have a cooked breakfast, with bacon and eggs and sausages. But most people are far too busy to cook things for breakfast. So they have a nice cup of tea or coffee, and toast, spread with marmalade. Marmalade is a type of jam, made out of oranges. Not ordinary oranges - they are too sweet - but very bitter oranges which are grown near Seville in Spain. These oranges are picked in January, and nearly all of them are exported to Britain to make into marmalade. 

You can of course buy marmalade in a supermarket. But shop-bought marmalade is poor stuff. It contains too much sugar and not enough oranges. (My grandmother used to say that shop marmalade was made with potatoes!) No, if you want proper marmalade, you have to make it yourself at home. 

The last two weeks in January is marmalade time. It is cold outside. Perhaps a few snowflakes are falling. But inside, the kitchen is warm and a delicious smell of oranges fills the house. So how do we make marmalade? The ingredients are simple - Seville oranges, a lemon, sugar and water. We chop the oranges and the lemon finely, including the peel. We add the water, and bring it to the boil. We boil the mixture until the oranges are cooked, then we add the sugar and continue boiling until the marmalade begins to set (ie until it starts to form a jelly). Then we put the marmalade into glass jars, and put a pretty label on each jar saying "marmalade". You can store marmalade for a year or even longer until you need it. A jar of home-made marmalade makes a lovely present to give to friends or relatives. 

Sarah Franklin has taken some wonderful photographs of making marmalade. On her flickr page she has included her recipe, so - if you can find any Seville oranges - you can have a go yourself. For myself, I have another 10 kilos of marmalade to make before the next podcast. 

There is a grammar and vocabulary note with this podcast. If you are listening on iTunes or an iPod, you will need to go to the podcast website to see it. 

Photos of making marmalade by Sarah Franklin 

The Great Apostrophe Catastrophe 

Thursday 18 January 2007 

In a podcast last week, I talked about apostrophes - the little commas that we sometimes write above letters in English. Do you know the rules about when to write an apostrophe, and when not to write one? 

You should write an apostrophe; 

1. when you leave letters out. For example, when you write "I'm" instead of "I am". 

2. to show possession or ownership. For example, "John's shirt is red". "John's" means "belonging to John" - the shirt belongs to John, so we write an apostrophe before the letter "s". 

You should not write an apostrophe: 

1. in front of a letter "s" where the "s" is the plural ending of a noun. For example, "I have three books" has no apostrophe - the "s" at the end of "books" simply means that "books" is plural - there is more than one book. So, no apostrophe. 

2. in personal adjectives and pronouns such as hers, his, its, theirs, yours. 

There is an exercise on apostrophes which you may find helpful - if you are listening on iTunes or an iPod you will need to go to the podcast website to find the exercise. 

I have to tell you that many English people get very confused about when to use an apostrophe and when not to. If you visit Britain, you will find lots of examples ofpublic signs, notices in shop windows etc where someone has written an apostrophe which should not be there. The worst offenders are people who sell fruit and vegetables from market stalls You will often see signs saying "apple's" or "orange's" with an apostrophe that should not be there. We often call these "greengrocers' apostrophes" - a greengrocer is someone who sells fruit and vegetables. The picture on the website shows a sign on a market stall in the town of Ely in the east of England.You will also be able to see it on the screen of your iPod. It says, "Top quality hard English conferance pear's". ( "Conference pears"are a particular variety of pear that grows well in England - but have you noticed that the word "conference" is spelled wrongly?) And look, there is an apostrophe before the "s" in pears. There should, of course, be no apostrophe, because "pears" here is simply the plural of "pear" - it doesn't mean "belonging to pear", nor are there letters left out.  

The second bit of the notice says "3lb for 1.50". What does "lb" mean? It means "pounds" - not pounds in money, but pounds in weight. In England, until recently, we measured the weight of things in pounds, and in America they still do. A pound is about half a kilo. When I was at school - many, many years ago - we had to learn that 16 ounces made a pound, 14 pounds made a stone, 8 stone made a hundredweight and 20 hundredweight made a ton. Yes, it was very complicated! And we had to learn about pints and gallons for measuring liquids, and inches, feet and yards for measuring distances. Nowdays, children learn metric measurements at school, and since 1995 shops must use metric measurements for everything they sell. We only use the old imperial measurements for beer and milk (where people still measure in pints - a pint is about half a litre), and for distances on roads, which are in miles - a mile is 1.6 kilometers. However, old people like me still think in the old measurements. If I cut a piece of wood, for example, I still measure it in inches and not in centimeters. When I bake a cake, I weigh the flour and sugar in ounces, not in grams. And the greengrocer in Ely market obviously finds all these modern kilos too difficult, so he or she still sells pears by the pound. 

Photo of sign in the market at Ely by Florrie Basingbourne\/flickr 

David Beckham 

Monday 15 January 2007 

David Beckham is a famous football player. He played for Manchester United in the years when Manchester United won everything they could possibly win. And he was captain of the England football team.  

But in the past few years his football career has gone downhill. In 2003, he moved from Manchester United to Real Madrid, but Real Madrid have not been a succesful team in the last few years. Last summer, he captained the England team at the World Cup, but again England were not successful. He has now been dropped as England captain, and plays only irrregularly for Real Madrid. As a footballer, David Beckham is past his best. 

Other footballers who find that their finest playing days are over do something like this: 

they move to a smaller club; 

or they make a new career in football, perhaps coaching younger players, or managing a club, or writing about football for the newspapers; 

or they retire from football and run a pub in a quiet village in the country, or a night club in Spain. 

But David Beckham is not going to do any of these things. He is going to move to America later this year to play for Los Angeles Galaxy. He will become one of the highest paid sportsmen in the world; over the next 5 years, he may earn as much as $250 million. This is remarkable because football is not a top sport in the United States. Indeed, when Americans talk about "football" they mean a completely different game in which very big men try to knock each other to the ground while kicking or throwing a ball shaped like an egg. In America, you have to say "soccer" if you mean the game that the rest of the world calls football. 

So how has this happened? There are rich people and rich companies in the United States who think that soccer could become a lot more popular in America than it is now. They see an opportunity to make money - lots of money. But they need a superstar - someone who is fabulously famous - to raise the profile of soccer in America, and bring in advertising and sponsorship. And David Beckham is a superstar. He is - or was - a brilliant football player. He is very good looking (or so my wife tells me). His wife is a former pop singer with the Spice Girls, where she was known as "Posh Spice". Posh and Becks love the glamorous celebrity lifestyle - the lavish parties, the beautiful people, the fast cars, the big houses and swimming pools. They will love Hollywood. And Hollywood will love them.  

There is another famous Englishman whose career has gone downhill in the past few years, in fact ever since he made a bad decision to invade Iraq. Yes, I mean Tony Blair, our Prime Minister. Like David Beckham, he is expected to leave his present job this year. Like David Beckham, he enjoys expensive holidays in exotic places, and the company of wealthy people. Like David Beckham, he is liked and admired in America. After he retires, he will probably spend a lot of time in that country, giving lectures and speaking at dinners. In five years time, which of the two will be the more succesful - the former football star, or the former Prime Minister? What do you think? 

New Year Resolutions - a poem 

Thursday 11 January 2007 

I have a poem for you today. It is called New Year Resolution, and it is by Edrey Allott. She does not tell us what her New Year resolution is. She just says that she knows that she should have done it a long time ago, but this year she really will. 

Oh I could've, I would've, I should've, 

Yes I should've  

Done this or that. 

But no, I didn't, 

I'm sorry, I didn't. 

I left it flat 

But don't despair, 

I'm nearly there, 

You virtuous chaps. 

This year I'll do it, 

I'll really do it. 

Perhaps. 

In spoken English, we often shorten auxiliary or "helper" verbs. For example, instead of saying "did not" we often say "didn't". When we write words that we have shortened, we write an apostrophe ( ' ) to show that we have left some letters out. There are lots of examples of this in the poem.  

Could've is short for could have. 

And would've and should've are of course short for would have and should have. 

Didn't means did not. 

Don't means do not. 

And I'm means I am, and I'll means I will. 

In the sixth line of the poem, "I left it flat" means "I left it (the thing she wanted to do) and did not do anything about it". "I left it flat" is not really a normal English expression - but I think the writer needed to find something to rhyme with "that" in the third line!  

Picture of an apostrophe by Claude Covo-Farchi\/flickr 

Work out 

Monday 08 January 2007 

Today's podcast is about working out. There is a grammar and vocabulary note which explains that the expression "to work out" has two different meanings. If you are listening on iTunes or an iPod, you will need to go to the podcast website to read the note. 

In the last podcast, Kevin made a New Year resolution to give up smoking. What about Joanne? Well, her resolution is to get fit. She has read in an article in a newspaper that, if you work out in a gym for an hour every day, you can get super-fit in only ten weeks. So she has joined a gym. Lots of other people have had the same idea and have joined the gym as well. Sometimes the gym is crowded, and Joanne has to wait for her turn on the exercise machines. She says to herself that some of the other people are probably weak-willed. They are not determined like she is, and will probably give up after about two weeks. But she will carry on and become super-fit! 

She tries to persuade Kevin to join the gym as well. But Kevin says: 

his New Year resolution is to give up smoking 

he does not want to be super-fit, and he does not think you can get super-fit in only ten weeks 

gyms are places of torture like the Tower of London and Guantanamo Bay 

it is stupid to use an exercise bike at a gym. Why not get a real bike and go real places on it? 

Joanne tells Kevin that he is a couch potato. She goes to the gym and works out by herself. Will she get super-fit in 10 weeks? Or will she get bored and return to eating chocolates in front of the television? We shall see! 

Picture of Working Out by Erik Bischoff\/flickr 

Hooked 

Friday 05 January 2007 

Happy New Year to all of you. I have been making these podcasts now for exactly a year. It has been great fun and I am very grateful to all of you who listen to them. 

At the beginning of January, many people make New Year resolutions. That means that they decide to change something about their lives. Here are some examples of New Year resolutions: 

to lose weight 

to start learning a foreign language 

to phone my parents at least once a week 

to cycle to work every day instead of using the car 

Unfortunately, most people make the same resolutions every year. In other words, they do not succeed. They do not keep their resolutions. 

Kevin and Joanne have both made New Year resolutions this year. Kevin has said that he is going to give up smoking. He does not smoke very much - only when he goes to the pub to have a drink with his friend George. In fact, he will have to keep his resolution to give up smoking, or he will have to stop going to the pub, because in July this year a new law will come into effect in England which bans smoking in pubs, cafes, restaurants and other public buildings. 

Do you know the colloquial English expression "to be hooked on something"? It means to be addicted to something. A hook is a small piece of bent metal which we use to catch fish. Think of a fish, with a hook caught in its mouth. It wriggles and struggles, but it cannot get free. That is what "being hooked" means! So, smokers are hooked on cigarettes or tobacco. Some people are hooked on chocolate; other people are hooked on their favourite TV programme. 

Our government is running an advertising campaign on television at present, to try to persuade people to stop smoking. It shows smokers with a hook in their mouths, like the hook in the mouth of a fish. The smokers are dragged along by a line attached to the hook. These advertisements make Kevin feel very uncomfortable. He is determined to give up smoking. Let's hope he succeeds. 

There is a grammar and vocabulary note for this podcast. If you are listening on iTunes or your iPod, you will need to go to the podcast website to see it. 

Photo of cigarette by lanier67\/flickr