Chapter 8

A month later

I put down my diary as I heard a knock at the front door. I was done anyway. I put it in my closet drawer and closed it. It had been a month since Riley was admitted to hospital. Sadly, he was still in a coma. I thought of him every day. I visited him every chance I got. He just lay there looking all gorgeous and said nothing to me. It was frustrating. Life was not fun without him. Luckily, Mandy was there. Mandy and I had gotten close after Riley's accident. She was easy to talk to and even though she did not know Riley well, she sympathized with me. We were not the best of friends yet, but we were getting there.

I took my phone and headed to the door. I knew it was Mandy. She and I were going to the hospital. She occasionally went with me. She was fond of Riley, I could tell.

I opened the door and found her beaming.

"Okay, what has got you smiling like a fool?" I asked.

She twirled her hair around her finger. "Guess who asked me out?"

I pretended to be thinking. "Logan?"

Mandy chuckled as we got to her car.

"No silly. Matt", she said as she started the car.

"I'm surprised it took him a month", I said.

We drove out onto the road.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing", I said.

"Cass!" Mandy warned.

"Well it's just that Matt is a player, you know. He dates anyone who's in fashion", I said.

I sounded like the jealous friend and I hated it. Mandy didn't know Matt and I did. He was a player and he would use her. I had to protect a friend.

"I'm in fashion?" she asked, sounding shocked.

"No! Well, yeah, you are well...sort of new", I said.

Mandy chuckled. "Don't worry about me, Matt doesn't faze me. I have my sights on someone else", she said thoughtfully.

"Do tell", I said cheerfully.

"No, you'll find out, if he ever opens his eyes and see what's in front of him", she said skeptically.

"Come on Mandy", I said.

"No Cass", she said.

When the car was parked, we got out. We were a few minutes early, visiting hours would start in 10 minutes. We decided to hang at the cafeteria. Mandy bought a salad. I just could not eat anything with all the excitement building up inside of me. I was always excited to see Riley, and I always left the hospital frustrated. I was excited to tell him about what happened at school, with Calvin and my dad and so on, but he never replied.

"Let's go", Mandy's voice entered my occupied mind.

We went through the normal procedure and were allowed in Riley's room.

Mandy and I walked into the room silently. He was in the same position I had seen him in two days ago. I wondered if they ever moved him. The machines he was hooked onto were making peaceful beeping sounds. I had no idea what they were but Mandy knew very well.

"He has spent two days without a visitor", I whispered to Mandy.

Mandy narrowed her eyes, "How do you know?"

"His hair...I ran my hand through it that day we came. It looks exactly as I left it", I said.

Mandy chuckled," Not everyone runs their hands through his hair like you do. They probably do not notice his hair".

"Well, I do. He never lets me tousle it when he is awake", I said smiling cheekily.

We sat in silence, watching him.

"Do you think he'll ever wake up Mandy?" I asked.

"I don't know", Mandy said softly.

I looked up at her and then I saw it. I could kick myself hard for not seeing it before. She was looking at Riley with loving eyes. He was the one. Riley was the guy she had talked about. The way she looked at him, it all made sense.

Her words came back to me, "...if he ever opens his eyes and see what's in front of him".

I had thought she meant it figuratively. She meant it literally, if only Riley would open his eyes and see her. I felt a pang somewhere.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" her brows were knit in a frown.

"It's nothing. Can you err...can you give Riley and I a minute?" I asked.

"Since when can't you speak in front of me?" she asked.

"I...I..." I stuttered.

"Never mind, I'll be outside", she said smiling.

She got up and walked the few steps out of the room. I looked at Riley and a smile invaded my face.

"Hi Riley, it's Cass...Casey. Can you hear me?" I said and waited.

After a few moments I continued, "I came with Mandy, but she's outside. I miss you Riley. I just want you back... I mean...not want you as in want you...I mean, please wake up?" I took a deep breath. "Not much has really happened since the last day I came. School is well, school. I got an A+ on my physics and English tests. I got a B on my math test, simply because you weren't there... to tutor me. I know you hate math, but you are really good at it. I will not...I won't bore you about school. Mandy and I have become friends. She understands. I think..." I paused and looked at the door and finding no one, continued.

"I think she has a thing for you. You should see the way she looks at you. It's adorable", I said and chuckled. "I'm supposed to be happy for..." I paused and stared at Riley.

A strange noise was entering my ears. The room was no longer peaceful. The quiet beep had turned into loud annoying noise. Something was wrong, terribly so. Riley did not move. I panicked. Mandy ran into the room.

"What have you done?" she shouted.

"I don't know, no, I did not do...anything", I said.

She looked at one of the machines and back at me.

"He's going into cardiac arrest", she delivered a blow.

"How do you know?" I questioned.

"Look at that machine over there. Oh, never mind. Press that buzzer thing on the side of the bed", she said.

I pressed the buzzer-thing furiously.

"Do not break it", she said.

A tear rolled down my right eye. Mandy embraced me in a hug. What happened next was a blur. I saw a couple of white coats running into the room, shouting instructions frantically. A nurse ushered us out of the room. We walked slowly to the waiting chairs and sat down. I held my face between my hands.

"Listen Cass, whatever it is that's happening to him has nothing to do with what you were saying to him, okay?" Mandy said.

I toweled my face with my hands. "I know, I just didn't think it would...happen so soon. He's leaving, for good", I said, removing my face from my hands.

Tears rolled down Mandy's face. She made no effort to wipe them.

"No Cass, don't think like that. He's going to be fine", she said.

She didn't get it. She had a thing for Riley. She didn't even know him. I loved that idiot. Riley and I had been friends for so long. We did things together, just the two of us. He was a closed off book, but he opened up parts of himself to me. Now I was losing him. He was dying and taking my heart with.

We sat like that for about fifteen minutes. I couldn't leave until the doctor told me he was fine and that it had been a problem with their machines. It simply had to be a problem with their machines. Riley could not die, he just couldn't!

When the doctor I recognized emerged, I stood up.

"Doctor, what happened?" I asked.

He looked at me thoughtfully, shaking his head.

Hand on chin, he said, "I would be lying if I said I knew what really happened in there. He was beyond pushing epi or defibrillation or.... For 10 minutes, his heart seemed to be failing...but it mysteriously stabilized itself, and his eyes shot open. So, he is...awake".

"Awake as in like, awake?" I asked stupidly.

"I am not sure which "awake" you are talking about, but his eyes are open and his brain shows activity".

I could not believe my ears. Moments ago I was sure he was dying. It all seemed so unreal. I had to be dreaming, a terrible dream. Did I want Riley to get well so badly I dreamt about it? It had to be the cruelest dream.

"Can we see him?" Mandy asked.

"He should not be seeing anyone right now, but I'll give you five minutes, we still have to run some tests and he needs to rest. He is disoriented, so I suggest you do not talk to him or make him think".

"Thank you", Mandy said.

We ran to Riley's room before our time was up, ignoring the no running in the corridor sign. At the door, I stopped. It was not so long ago that I had heard the frightening fast-paced beeping sounds. They had happened shortly after I had told him about Mandy's feelings for him. He had woken up because I had told him about them. A feeling of jealousy wanted to erupt out of me. How could he? Was I so worthless to him? He had woken up for Mandy!

"Cass?" Mandy enquired why I was standing at the door. I walked in timidly. Riley lay on the same bed and looked even more gorgeous. He was staring at the ceiling, oblivious to the people in front of him.

"Hi Riley", Mandy said.

"You are not supposed to talk to him", I reprimanded.

"Well, he has to know we are here", Mandy said.

Riley's eyes went from the ceiling to us.

"I thought... you were the... nurses. Who are... you?" he asked.

"You don't recognize us? I am Mandy and this is Cass..." Mandy said moving over to the side, closer to Riley's head.

"Casey", I interrupted.

Riley frowned.

"Which one...is it?" he asked.

"I'm Cassidy. Everyone calls me Cass, but you call me Casey", I said.

"I do? I wish I could say I remember...both of you, but I have never...seen you before. I don't know you" he asked.

"Riley, stop playing", I said firmly.

He shook his head slowly.

"Riley? Is that my name?" he asked.

"Yes, you don't remember?" I asked.

"...No", he said.

My heart sank, he looked serious.

"The doctor did say he was disoriented, he will remember soon", I said to Mandy.

Mandy shook her head.

"I think...I think he has amnesia. He has lost his memory", she said.

Riley looked at us, puzzled.

"Are we together?" he asked.

"Um...no", I said.

"I meant...her", he said, indicating Mandy with his eyes.

Something overcame me. I was not good enough. The one person who used to pay attention to me, attention that I actually liked was sidelining me. I was not good enough for him.

"No", Mandy said sweetly.

"Don't you remember Cass? He was...is your best friend", Mandy said.

Oh no, she didn't! Was, as in like past tense? So um, all those years were disappearing right in front of my eyes, just like that?

"Time up, you are requested to leave", the doctor said, walking in.

The drive home was mostly consumed by silence. I was fighting with my own thoughts. Riley was awake, but he didn't even know me. Was it not the same as him being dead? If his amnesia was permanent, things would never be the same again. We would have to start from scratch, if he preferred me at all. By the look of things, I had lost my best friend. I wished he had taken it all back; told us he was just fooling around like he loved to. He hadn't, even as the doctor escorted us out.

Mandy parked the car in my driveway. We both got out.

"So, when is your date with Matt?" I asked casually.

"...On Saturday. Three days from now. I am having second thoughts", Mandy said smiling ruefully at me.

"Why?" I asked.

"Let's just say I don't want to make an enemy out of Abby", she said.

"You seemed to not have a problem with Abby before. Anyway, if Matt asked you out there is probably nothing going on between them anymore".

"...Says the guy who told me Matt is a player", Mandy said.

"Hey, people change", I defended myself.

"I have to go. Chat tonight?" she asked.

"Sure", I said as she climbed into her car.

*