"Now, my dear children, do be careful. Don't lose your heads. Don't get over excited. Just keep very calm" Augustus drops his candy bar in excitement.

"It's beautiful" princess says.

"What? Ooh, yeah. It's very beautiful. Every drop of the river is hot melted chocolate of the finest quality. The waterfall is most important. It churns the chocolate, mixes it up. By the way, no other factory in the world mixes its chocolate by waterfall, my dear children. You can take that to the bank!" A pipe descends to the river.

"People, those pipes suck up the chocolate, and carry it away, all over the factory. Thousands of gallons an hour. Yeah! Do you like my meadow? Please have a
blade of grass, please do. It's so delectable and so darn good looking!"

"You mean you can eat the grass?" Princess asked.

"Everything in this room is eatable. Even I am eatable, but that, my dear children, is called cannibalism, and is, in fact, frowned upon in most societies. Yeah. Enjoy!"

Augustus runs to the chocolate river. Mr. Salt stares icily at Wonka, who remains unfazed.

Salt, unnerved, turns away. Foxy takes princess hand Mike smashes a candy pumpkin, stomping the pieces with rage.

"Son, please..."

"Dad! He said enjoy!"

"Come on princess" foxy takes her to enjoy the sweets.

Chicken little joins by her side, princess looks at him who shrugs.

"She seemed to be liking me a lot" princess says.

"Yeah ever since the sky falling incident, I guess she feels pretty bad for how she treated" chicken little explained.

Augustus works his way towards the river, eating everything in sight. Mrs. Gloop steals candies and stuffs them down her purse.

"Come my old friend let us catch up" Willy takes wolf's hand and they sit on a mushroom snacking on candy edible flowers.

"So tell me old friend how you been, it's been long since I last seen you, tell me are you still a criminal"

"Nah, we're retired now, since we adopted princess"

"So i heard you all gone soft tell how's your dad been"

"Oh he's doing great but Willy I have to ask, it's been awhile why now invite people in and why now have you answered my letter you never answered us, heck I never heard back from you since I was 13 so what happened?"

"Well you see-"

But before Willy could answer, An Oompa Loompa
appears on the horizon, operating a jackhammer.

"Daddy, look over there! What is it? It's a little person! Over by the waterfall"

"Uh wolf what is that" princess asked as she takes his arm looking worried.

"There's two of them!"

"There's more than two..."

The Oompa Loompas perform maintenance functions on the factory.

"Where do they come from?"

"Who are they?"

"It's ok princess they're just Oompa Loompas"

"Are they real people?"

"Of course they're real people, they're Oompa Loompas!"

"Oompa Loompas?"

"Imported direct from Loompaland!"

"There's no such place"

"What?"

"Mr. Wonka, I teach high school geography, and I'm here to tell you that-"

"Well, then you'll know all about it and know what a terrible country it is"

"Is that true wolf?" Princess whispered.

"Of course I know it's hard to believe but I did meet one before"

Cut to Wonka with a pith helmet and a machete in a thick jungle.

"The whole place is nothing but thick jungles infested with the most dangerous beasts in the entire world. Hornswogglers and Snozzwangers, and those terrible, wicked Whangdoodles" A flying beast chases Wonka down a short distance.

"I went to Loompaland looking for exotic new flavours for candy and to collect more coco beans Instead, I found the Oompa Loompas. They lived in tree houses to escape from the fierce creatures who lived below. The Oompa Loompas ate nothing but green caterpillars, which tasted revolting. They kept looking for things to mash up with the caterpillars to make them taste better. Red beetles, the bark of the bong bong tree, all of them beastly, but not quite so beastly as the caterpillars"

The Chief of the Oompa Loompas, dressed in tribal clothes, appears with a mortar and pestle and a bowl of squashed green caterpillars. He grinds them up and offers the bowl to Wonka, who politely takes a spoonful and tries to swallow it down. He then gives a
large fake smile and returns the bowl to the Chief, who steps aside.

"But the food they longed for the most was cocoa beans. An Oompa Loompa was lucky if they found three or four beans a year, but oh, how they craved them. All they'd ever think about was cocoa beans. Now, the cocoa bean happens to be the thing
from which chocolate is made, so I told the chief, "Come live in my factory."

Wonka now gestures to the Chief in a strange sign language, accompanied with sounds in the Oompa Loompa language.

"You can have all the cocoa beans you want. I will even pay your wages in cocoa beans, if you wish"

More signing. Then, Wonka puts out his arms in a gesture for the Chief to accept. The Chief performs a gesture of acceptance, almost a formal tribal bow. Wonka repeats the gesture, and the two shake hands. The Chief exits.

"You went back although you stole from them to work at your factory" wolf whispered.

"Well They are such wonderful workers. I feel I must warn you, however, that they are very mischievous. Always making jokes"

Mrs. Gloop notices Augustus at the chocolate river.

"Uh Mr wonka" princess points to Augustus.

"Augustus, that is not a good thing you do!"

"Hey, little boy, my chocolate must be untouched by human hands!" Augustus falls into the river.

"He'll drown- he can't swim! Save him! Augustus!"

Wonka remains passive. The pipe enters and descends into the river.

"Augustus, watch out! The pipe! Augustus is sucked up the pipe, and shoots up.

"There he goes.."

"Call the fire brigade!"

"It's a wonder how that pipe is big enough..

"It isn't big enough. He's slowing down"

"He's gonna stick"

"Help!"

"I think he has..."

"Wolf" princess was frightened she holds on to his arm.

"It's ok princess" he assured her by patting her arm.

"He's blocked the whole pipe..." The Oompa Loompas enter, chanting, to begin their song.

OOMPA LOOMPAS:

OOMPA LOOMPA

OOMPA LOOMPA

OOMPA LOOMPA

LOOMPA LOOMPA

OOMPA LOOMPA

OOMPA LOOMPA

OOMPA LOOMPA

LOOMPA LOOMPA

"Look, the Oompa Loompas!"

"What are they doing?"

"Why, I believe they're going to treat us to a little song! It is quite a special occasion, of course, as they haven't had a fresh audience in many moons"

The song begins, a Bollywood nightmare of Indian-influenced dance and chanting.

OOMPA LOOMPAS:

AUGUSTUS GLOOP! AUGUSTUS GLOOP!

THE GREAT BIG GREEDY NINCOMPOOP!

AUGUSTUS GLOOP!

SO BIG AND VILE

SO GREEDY, FOUL, AND INFANTILE

'COME ON!' WE CRIED, 'THE TIME IS RIPE

TO SEND HIM SHOOTING UP THE PIPE!

BUT DON'T, DEAR CHILDREN, BE ALARMED;

AUGUSTUS GLOOP WILL NOT BE HARMED,

AUGUSTUS GLOOP WILL NOT BE HARMED!

The dance becomes, briefly, a strange ballet, then returns to the Bollywood sequence.

OOMPA LOOMPAS:

ALTHOUGH, OF COURSE, WE MUST ADMIT

HE WILL BE ALTERED QUITE A BIT.

SLOWLY, THE WHEELS GO ROUND AND ROUND,

THE COGS BEGIN TO GRIND AND POUND;

WE BOIL HIM FOR A MINUTE MORE,

UNTIL WE'RE ABSOLUTELY SURE

THEN OUT HE COMES! AND NOW! BY GRACE!

A MIRACLE HAS TAKEN PLACE!

A MIRACLE HAS TAKEN PLACE!

THIS GREEDY BRUTE, THIS LOUSE'S EAR,

IS LOVED BY PEOPLE EVERYWHERE!

FOR WHO COULD HATE OR BEAR A GRUDGE

AGAINST A LUSCIOUS BIT OF FUDGE?"

Augustus shoots up the pipe and away, as the Oompa Loompas chant and dance off.

"Bravo! Well done! Aren't they charming? Aren't they delightful?"

"I do say, that all seemed rather rehearsed..."

"Like they knew it was all gonna happen"

"Oh, poppycock"

"Where is my son? Where does that pipe go to?"

"That pipe? It just happens to go the room where I make the most delicious kind of strawberry-coated chocolate fudge!

"Then he will be made into strawberry-coated chocolate-flavored fudge! They'll be selling him by the pound all over the world!"

"No, I wouldn't allow it. The taste would be terrible! Can you imagine Augustus-flavored, chocolate-coated Gloop? Ew. No one would buy it"

Wonka ululates in Oompa Loompa language and an Oompa Loompa approaches.

"I want you to take Mrs. Gloop to the fudge room, 'kay? Help her find her son Take a long stick, and start poking around in the mixing barrel. 'Kay?"

The Oompa Loompa and Wonka do the ceremonial bow. The Oompa Loompa then leads Mrs. Gloop offstage, somewhat reluctantly.

"Excuse me Mr. Wonka?" Princess calls.

"Huh?"

"How would Augustus's name already be in the Oompa Loompa song, unless they-"

"Improvisation is just a parlor trick. Anyone can do it. You, little girl, say something. Anything"

"Chewing gum"

"Chewing gum is really gross/Chewing gum I hate the most. See? Exactly the same"

"No it isn't"

"Uh, you really shouldn't mumble, because I can't understand a word you're saying. Now, on with the tour" They start to walk away.

"Were the Oompa Loompas really joking, wolf?" Princess seem upset.

"Of course they were, princess. That boy will be fine!" He looked nervous as he pushed her along with the others.