A request from Crazycartoons5488

A MAROON CARTOON In color BABY HERMAN and ROGER RABBIT in SOMETHIN'S COOKIN'

"Mommy's going to the beauty parlor darling. But I'm leaving you with your favorite friend Roger. He's going to take very very good care of you. Because if he doesn't, he's going back to the science lab!"

"Plplpllllease! Don't worry. What ever you say! Yes, ma'am. Aye aye, sir. Okey dokey. Why, I'll take care of him like he was my own brother. Or my own sister. Ow! Or my brother's sister. Or my second cousin who was twice removed"

"Brbrll bobl Cookie!"

"Or the ninth cousin who is nine times removed from his place off side. Or like a 16th cousin..."

He Escapes from cot, "Aaaaaaah!"

"...who was sixteen times removed from my mother's side. Or a 32nd cousin who was 37..."

Baby Herman lands in front of the fridge and looks up at the fridge where the cookie jar is.

"Cookie!"

"...times removed from his father's side who was eleven...Or like my 17th cousin who was 156 times removed, from any side!"

Sees Baby Herman climbing up some open drawers

" AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!"

Baby Herman is crawling across the hob turning on the burners as he goes narrowly avoiding them.

"I'LL SAVE YOU, BABYYYYY!!!"

"Cookie!" he knocks a rolling pin onto the floor.

"Don't burn yourself, baby Herman" he Rushes into kitchen and slips on rolling pin.

"Wow! Wub wub wub wub wub woooooaaah! Waaaaaahhoooowow! Waaaaaaah!" As he rolls past Baby Herman he kicks a Teapot onto Roger's head.

"Who turned out the lights? Boy, it's dark in here. Don't they pay the electricity? What happened?"

Not seeing where he is going he rolls into the oven which Baby Herman turns up to "Volcano Heat".

"I'll find, baby? Where are ya?"

Crawls across some plates in the sink, "Cookie! Ahhhh! Brblblblbl. Aha!"

His face slips under the water but he lifts it up and accidentally turns on the tap and water starts spilling onto the floor. The soap also falls down to the floor. The oven sign turns to "Well Done" and Roger bursts out trailing smoke.

"Oooh! Ooh! Oh! Ow! Owwwwww! Owwwwwwwwww!"

He slips on the soap and shoots into the air and the soap flies across the kitchen and ricochets of the door handle and hits the baby flinging him up to the clock pendulum. Roger falls back and slides across the kitchen and ends up with his fingers in the power supply and is zapped by electricity. In trying to escape he headbutts the wall with the teapot and dislodges a shelf and all the pots and pans fall on his head. As he lies there a bottle of chili sauce falls into the spout of the teapot.

"Cookie. Ooh."

Roger, with his head on fire, shoots across the kitchen and ends up with an ironing board in his mouth which folds up into the wall. Baby Herman swings from the clock to a shelf which falls down and a box on the shelf falls catapulting a box of knives through the air. Baby Herman lands on a plunger and bounces up to the fridge. The plunger flies through the air and lodges itself in a toaster which then falls over. Roger bursts out of the fold up ironing board.

"Cookie"

He falls off the entire pickle jar and he climbs by the entire sandwich bread.

"I'm here, Bab--AAAAAAAARRGGGHHH!"

Roger sees the knives flying towards him which lodge themselves in the wall around him. One parts his hair and a meat cleaver hits the wall between his legs. The toaster then fires the plunger at Roger and sticks to his face.

As he struggles to get it off he ends up flying across the kitchen and removes it in mid air. His momentary pleasure is forgotten as he crashes into the suc-o-matic which then begins to pump him full of air.

When he looks more like a balloon he starts to deflate, flying around the kitchen breaking crockery and eventually hitting the fridge, lodging his head underneath.

As he struggles to get free he dislodges Baby Herman who falls from the top of the fridge with his cookie. Roger lifts the fridge of his head and seeing that Baby Herman is safe holds him in his hands.

"Cookie. Ah!"

Roger suddenly realizes the unsupported fridge above his head which crashes back to the ground. The fridge door opens to reveal Roger with birds from Cinderella flying around his head.

"Cut!"

"Alright. That's the shot"

"Cut, cut, cut, cut, CUT!" He Throws script on floor.

Baby Herman woke in a deep voice, "What the hell was wrong with that take?!"

"Nothing with you, Baby Herman. You were great. You were perfect. You were better than perfect. Just Roger. He keeps blowing his lines! Roger..." he Grabs bird from Cinderella, "what's this?"

"A tweeting bird"

"A tweeting bird?" He Throws bird from Cinderella to the floor, "Roger, read the script. Look what it says. It says "Rabbit gets clunked. Rabbit sees stars." Not birds, STARS! Can we lose the playback, please?"

"Cut the playback!"

"Roger, you're killing me! Killing me"

Baby Herman Stomping off, "For crying out loud, Roger! How the hell many times do we have to do this damn scene?! Raoul! I'll be in my trailer! Taking a nap!"

"Oooh!"

"'Scuse me, toot"

"My stomach can't take this. This set is a mess! Clean this set up! And get him out of there! Or seal him up in it! Lose the lights! And say lunch!"

"LUNCH!"

"That's lunch. We're on a half"

Roger climbs out of the refrigerator and follows Raoul off set.

"Pplpllllease, Raoul. I can give you stars. Just drop the refrigerator on my head one more time"

"Roger, I've dropped that on your head 23 times already"

"I can take it though. Don't worry about me"

"I'm not worried about you, I'm worried about the refrigerator"

"I can give you stars" he Grabs frying pan off a passing trolley.

"Look, Plplllease, Raoul. I can do it I swear. Just give me another chance. Well, come on, Raoul..."

Standing watching all of this is Eddie Valiant.

"Phhh. Toons"

He takes a swig from a bottle and puts it back in a holster on his belt.

But a shadow was watching him...a mysterious shark sized figured.

"just give me another chance. Look. Watch, Raoul. Watch, Raoul. Plplplllease, you gotta give me another chance. Come on, Raoul!"

A lady opens some double doors and shows Valiant into Maroon's office.

"Mr. Maroon, Mr. Valiant's here to..."

R.K. Maroon is watching a piece of a film playing through a moviola and he waves his hand at the woman.

"He'll be right with you"

"No, no, no! Wait until he gets to his feet, then hit him with the boulder"

"Right on it"

The editor wheels the machine away and Maroon turns to Valiant.

"How much do you know about show business, Mr. Valiant?"

Only there's no business like it. No business I know"

"Yeah, and there's no business more expensive. I'm 25 grand over budget on the latest Baby Herman cartoon. You saw the rabbit blowing his lines. He can't keep his mind on his work. You know why?"

"One too many refrigerators dropped on his head?"

" Nah! He's a toon. You can drop anything you want on his head, he'll shake it off. But break his heart, he goes to pieces just like you or me. Read that" he Hands Valiant a newspaper.

Valiant Reads aloud, "Seen cooing over Calamari with not so new sugar-daddy was Jessica Rabbit, wife of Maroon cartoon star Roger." What's this gotta do with me?" He Hands the paper back.

"You're the private detective, you figure it out"

"Look, I don't have time for this"

"Look Valiant! His wife's poison but he thinks she's Betty Crocker. I want you to follow her. Get me a couple of nice juicy pictures I can wise the rabbit up with"

"Forget it. I don't work Toontown"

"What's wrong with Toontown? Every Joe loves Toontown"

"Well get Joe to do the job, 'cause I ain't going"

"Whoah fella! You don't want to go to Toontown, you don't have to go to Toontown. Nobody said you had to go to Toontown anyway"

He Forcing Valiant into a seat.

"Have a seat Valiant. The rabbit's wife sings at a joint called the Ink and Paint Club. Toon review. Strictly humans only. O.K.? So what do you think Valiant?"

Valiant is more interested in the drinks cabinet.

" ...Well?"

He Gets up to make himself a drink.

"The job's gonna cost you a hundred bucks, plus expenses"

"A hundred bucks?! That's ridiculous!"

"So's the job!"

"Alright, alright. You've got your hundred bucks. Have a drink, Eddie."

"I don't mind if I do" he Looks out of the window.

"Look I've got it. Careful Dave. I've got it. Dave, you're gonna drop it. I'm not gonna drop it! You're dropping it!"

Some workmen drop some large wooden boxes releasing some toon instruments which begin to play. As Valiant watches, a pair of eyes suddenly appear at the window.

"AH!!" Eddie cowers under the drink cabinet.

"Kind of jumpy, aren't you, Valiant? It's just Dumbo"

He's Getting up from beneath the drinks cabinet and taking the check off of Maroon.

"I know who it is"

"I got him on loan from Disney. Him and half the cast of Fantasia" he Opens blinds.

"Best part is... they work for peanuts!" He throws a handful of peanuts out of the window and Dumbo flies off sucking them up with his trunk.

"Well, I don't work for peanuts. Where's the other fifty?"

"Let's call the other fifty a carrot to finish the job"

"You've been hanging around rabbits too long"

He leaves the studio passing an ostrich and a frog on the stairs. It was the Fantasia festival. Valiant looks to his right where a sax player is playing The Sorcerer's Apprentice to some brooms sweeping by themselves. From behind them emerges a stork on a bike, apparently a postman, and as he rides by he begins to lose his balance and crashes sending letters everywhere. As he reaches the bottom of the steps a hippo bumps into him.

"Oh! Excuse me" the hippo says.

Valiant walks past a group of cows practicing their lines.

"Moo. Moo! Moo? Moo..."

The hippo sits on a bench next to a workman and the bench promptly collapses, catapulting the man into the sky.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so embarrassed"

Valiant crosses the road and tries to catch a tram. He shows the conductor the check Maroon gave him. Bugs Bunny, Goofy and the Saturday's toons are dismissed.

"What do I look like, a bank?"

Valiant waits for the tram to go past him and then swings himself onto the back, where two other kids are sitting. Another kid comes running after them.

"Wait for me" one kid says.

"Come on! Hurry up!" A second kid says.

"Hey Mister. Ain't you got a car?" Third kid says.

"Who needs a car in L.A.? We've got the best public transportation system in the world"

Valiant gets off outside his office. Across the road the sign above the tram station: THE WORLDS BEST PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION SYSTEM is being replaced by that of Clover Leaf Industries.

"See you later"

"Thanks for the cigarettes"

"You bet. You got it"

"Hi Eddie. How's it going?"

"O.K. What you got for me?"

"The usual bills"

Valiant throws the bills in the bin and crosses the road to the Terminal Station Bar.

"Harry. You O.K.?" He passes a tram driver unconscious at one of the tables. He puts his hat, which had fallen off, back on his head and makes his way to the bar.

"What's with Earl?"

The man he is asking is mute and writes his answer on a pad of paper.

"'LAID OFF!'"

"...Laid off?"

"A new outfit bought the red car. Some big company called Clover Leaf"

"No kidding! They bought the red car?"

"Yeah. Put the poor guy on two weeks notice. Cut backs they said"

" Oh well" he grabs a drink.

"Here's to the pencil pushers. May they all get lead poisoning, huh?"

Before Valiant can put the glass to his lips, a woman's hand covers it. He looks up.

"Tomorrow's Friday, Eddie. You know what happens here on Friday?"

"Fish Special?"

Dolores Takes the drink away from him, "No... My boss checks the books on Friday and if I don't have that money I gave you back in the till I'm gonna lose my job"

"Don't bust a button, Dolores, you've only got one left" He shows her the check with a big smile on his face.

"Fifty bucks? ...Where's the rest?"

Valiant Looks hurt, "Well, it's only a snoop job away. Have you got that camera of yours? Mine's in the shop"

"Wouldn't be the pawn shop by any chance, would it?"

"Look. Come on, Dolores. You need the other fifty, I need the camera"

Dolores gets the camera from behind the till and puts it in front of Valiant.

"Any film in there?"

"Should be. Haven't had that roll developed since our trip to Catalina. Sure was a long time ago" She is having bagels in the basket.

"Yeah, it was a long time ago. We'll have to do that again sometime"

Dolores Holds down the crockery as a tram drives past, shaking the building.

"Yeah, sure, Eddie. Paper even good?"

"Just check the scrawl"

"R.K. Maroon? As in Maroon Cartoons?"

"Maroon Cartoons? Hey! So who's your client, Mr. Detective to the stars? Chilly Willy? Or Screwy Squirrel? Heh, heh, heh"

"What do you want to drink?"

"I'll take a beer, Dol. So what happened, huh? Someone kidnap Dinky Doodle?"

"Cut it out, Angelo"

"Hey. Wait a minute, wait a minute! I know. You're working for little Bo Peep. She's lost her sheep and your gonna help her find him! Hey? Heh, heh, heh. Ha, ha, ha!"

Valiant, his patience run out, kicks the stool from under Angelo who falls on his jaw on the edge of the bar."

"...Ungh!"

"Get this straight, meatball: I... don't... work... for toons!"

Eddie stuffs the boiled egg into Angelo's mouth and stomps out of the bar.

Angelo Looks at the disappearing Valiant, "So what's his problem?"

"Toon killed his brother"

"What? Huh?"

"Dropped a piano on his head"

Eddie head in his office when he sat in his desk, the door open and walked inside.

"Excuse me, are you Eddie valiant" they mysterious figure spoke in a deep town.

But Eddie paid no attention to him and was writing something.

"Who wants to know"

He looked up and was shocked to see it was mr. Shark talking to him.

Shark wore a trench coat and a fedora with a gray mustache.

"Whao! What are you supposed to be a new monster movie cast" Eddie chuckles.

"Oh hehehe very Funny" shark wasn't pleased as he laughed sarcastically then glared at him.

"But I'm not here for pleasant chat, my name is Mr. Shark, I was once a member of the bad guys"

"Oh...if you're a bad guy then why aren't you threatening me"

His jokes only angered him even more, "look I got no time for jokes, I was sent by my employer and he needs your help"

"Sorry, not interested" he had his back turned.

"We won't take no for a answer" he grabbed him and throws him over his shoulders, kidnapping him.

"Hey! Put me down"

Shark went through the back and shoved him in a limousine.

"That's the idea!" Eddie growled and in the darkness of the limousine someone spoke.

"Sorry for the inconvenience Eddie valiant but we need your help"

The light turn on revealing mr. Wolf himself in a silver suit with a matching fedora and a black mustache.

"I'm mr. Wolf and we really need your help"

"We? Who's we?" He asked.

"That's us" he turns to see sitting on his left side was webs and piranha, then on his right was snake and shark got in the driver seat.

"Forgive us but we really need your help, you see our daughter's been kidnapped, we were supposed to pick her up from school but when we found that she was missing we had to take mattered in our own hands"

"So let me guess the police weren't much of good help"

Wolf growled at him,

"Word on the street is you are one of the dam best detectives there ever is and we need you to find her"

"Sorry but i Don't have time to find lost kids, I'm kinda working on a case of my own, You're just gonna have to find someone else"

Wolf was getting his patients as he pulls out a orange envelope.

"Look mr. Valiant, nothing means more to us then our daughter therefore I am willing to pay you 10,0000 grand, I can pay you 1000 now and pay you the other half when you get out daughter back"

"10,0000 grand?" Eddie was impressed then when wolf hands him the envelope, he opens it to see the 1000 cash.

He looks up at wolf to see how serious he was about his daughter.

He puts the cash back in the envelope and stores the envelope in his coat.

"So so what those this kid look like that way I can find her"

Wolf open up his jacket and pulling from his right pocket, he takes out a picture.

He sees a 11 year old princess in a Florance long sleeve Blouse Authentic Vintage 1940s Style with a red skirt and white gloves.

Eddie find it a bit odd to find their daughter was a white Persian cat.

He couldn't help but chuckles, "this your daughter, what...did you knock up some cat and she divorced you and left the kid with you"

Wolf and the others get crossed then he snatched the picture back.

"It's not like that...she's adopted"

"Ah well that figures...hehehe"

"Look this is no joking matter, find our daughter and I'll pay you the other half"

"Alright then"