Dear Diary,

So, how do I start this without making a mess of the pages and the ink from my crying? Okay, here we go. How about the fact that I was completely mistaken about Victoria? I thought she had retreated back into the animal shelter with Bitchface Diana, and they had eaten some kibble together while talking about how many lives they have ruined so far.

Well, that didn't happen. I knew that Victoria was going to target someone with her torments and everything. I just didn't expect it to be me.

I'm honestly such a huge mess of emotions right now. Yes, I am SO happy that she decided to stop tormenting Sophia, but man, I don't know why she decided to do me. For one, there are a lot more people out there that are worthy of being tormented. I don't know why she decided to do me when she knew that I was 1000x more likely to snap her neck like a vampire when annoyed.

However, Victoria has a nasty skill. One that can make any tyrannical king look like a soft little rabbit. One that makes a serial killer look like a sweet little kitten that you'd find in an animal shelter, that's pawing at you.

Like my built in bullshit sensor, she has a sensor that can detect that one insecurity inside of you that hurts you the most. She detects it, and then she focuses on it to disintegrate you like an ocean wave on a sand castle.

I don't think I've thought to myself, "I'm an idiot," more times than today. I should've definitely figured it out, or at least have remembered it, because of the fact that she did the exact same thing to Sophia.

She focused on her weight and made sure to dwell on it so that Sophia would grow to have self confidence, trust, and a hundred billion other issues. However, thanks to Pete running his mouth like I can run in softball, she detected the one thing that I'm so insecure about. Being Russian.

Now, don't get me wrong. Obviously, I'm very proud of being Russian. I will go around yelling, "CYKA BLYAT!" to everyone I know so that they know I'm Russian. I'm fluent in the language, because my mom will skewer me on a vodka bottle if I speak English to her.

I will very proudly proclaim that I'm Russian anyday. Just don't blast the Soviet anthem in my ear. In that case, the person who blasts that is definitely going to be skewered on a vodka bottle.

But, the thing is, I absolutely hate it when people put me down for being Russian. I'm someone who takes nationalism pretty seriously. As for someone who is very open minded, or as I consider, I don't care if you're Italian, Indian, Vietnamese, Eritrean, Sudanese, or French.

Be proud of who you are, and what you are. However, like I said, I can't stand it when someone puts me down for being me. I didn't choose to be Russian. I didn't choose to have an insanely high tolerance to vodka at a party (although, I've never tried). And most importantly, I didn't ask Victoria to make my life hell just because of my ethnicity.

Fine, making my life hell is kind of an exaggeration. But still, making someone feel bad because they're Russian, or whatever ethnicity they are, is not cool. At all. Now you know why I got so annoyed with Pete when he was teasing me about being Russian. A lot of times, the teasing escalates into just straight up harassment, and it happens a lot quicker than you realize.

The last thing I need is to be harassed for something like that, so shutting him up is honestly the best thing I can do. But hell, Victoria just took it to another step. She just jumped to straight up harassment.

So, enough rambling, here's what happened. I was in the library, with my nose buried in a book, and my glasses perched on my nose. Victoria was sitting across from me, giggling about whatever the fuck she thought was funny with her friends. The next thing you know, she looked up at me and said, "Sonia, can you get those scissors from over there?"

I raised an eyebrow at her, and because I didn't want to start a fight with her, I just got up and quickly got the scissors and handed them to her. All her friends had smiles on their faces and were just giggling about something to themselves.

Of course, my bullshit detector was going nuts, but I just kind of let it go because again, I was way too lazy to start a fight at that time of day. "Thanks," she said, and she went back to having a giggle match with her friends.

I didn't think much of it, and when I went into my math class, I still didn't think much of it. Then, I opened my bag, and looked inside to fetch my pencil case. Then, I found this little note, with hasty writing scribbled on it.

Immediately, I recognized it was Victoria's because of the amount of her papers I had corrected back in history class. When I read the note, the first thing I thought was, "What the actual hell?"

I read it, and it said, "Call up Grandpa Putin and ask him to take you back to Moscow. You can have all the vodka that you want there, and you can proudly wear the Soviet flag. The flag that you were raised on."

Of course, I wanted to punch Victoria right then and there. I'm not someone who 1000% supports Russia, but this really made me mad. She was acting like all Russians were Communist drunkards who are in love with Putin. I couldn't believe she had decided to do that to me.

After school, being the headstrong person I am, I confronted that bitch and made sure that she heard my opinion. She, of course, was giggling and having fun with the other members of her bitchy clan.

I went behind her, tapped her on the shoulder, and said, "I need to talk to you, Bell," in my deep, steely, somewhat dangerous voice. Victoria turned around, and saw my face that was ready to rip her organs out.

"Ah, Tatarova. What do you need, hm?" she asked, with a cheeky grin on her face.

I clenched my fist tighter, and said, "I need to talk to you alone, because if you don't agree, then trust me, this is going to a bigger mess than the shitshow you call your personality."

Victoria tilted her head, unfazed, and said, "Fine. Whatever." I went over to a little space in which nobody was around or dared to listen.

She tugged at a tight curl resting on her shoulder, and said, "What do you want? Looking at you gives me a headache, Tatarova."

I snorted, and said, "Good. You're getting a taste of your own medicine. Now, tell me, do you really need some dog treats? Because you are acting like the biggest bitch around here. Next time I go to PetSmart, I'll make sure to get a leash so that you don't go around and bite everyone in this school."

Victoria rolled her eyes, and said, "Cut it, Sonia. Why are you bothering me?"

I chuckled a little bit, out of sarcasm, and said, "Why am I bothering you? I should be asking that. What the hell were you thinking slipping that note into my backpack? If you dare say that it was a joke, then I will say the same thing when you're lying on the ground with a bloody nose."

Victoria chuckles, and says, "Think of it as a warning, hun. Plus, you Russian are our enemies anyways. Ask Grandpa Putin to send you some Soviet flags, huh? We all know that you wear those with pride all the time."

I scoff a little bit, trying to hide my hurt of the situation. "Geez, I really should get you a dog leash. You've proved to be the ultimate bitch. Now I know why your mom always looks at you like she hates you." I say, with a tone that's meant to stab at her. Victoria's face drops like someone dropping a rock, and I turn around and swiftly walk away.

As a badass, I'm not proud to say that I cried when I came home. I'm supposed to be badass. I'm not supposed to cry. I'm not supposed to get hurt by things like this. I'm supposed to hold my head up high and act like it doesn't get to me. I didn't do that. I cried to my mom, then my dad. They both just gave me the same advice; Victoria is just a stuck up, bigoted bitch who needs a good slap in the face.

Of course, my dad was very willing to do it for me, because he knows how much Sophia was hurt by Victoria, but I refused to let him. I didn't need my dad to fight my battles. My battles are my problems only, and they're nobody else's to deal with.

However, as a badass, sometimes, you just need to cry. You need to let everything out, no matter what is weighing down on your mind, and crying is just the only option when it comes to that. I've learned from a lot of people that suppressing your emotions is probably the worst way to heal.

It leaves a little scar on you that you're reminded of, and the only thing that you think can help it is if you suppress even more emotions. It eventually leads into a habit, and the next thing you know, you're a cold, emotionless bitch.

I'm not that person. I believe that strength is something that is achieved by being emotional. Some people think that they show weakness, but your weakness is when you've become robotic and don't care about whatever emotions are coming your way.

You just suppress them, which is probably the biggest mistake you've ever made. And I'm not letting my emotions be suppressed. I may have a few scars, but this is not going to be one of them.

Love,

Sonia.

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I'm so proud of Sonia in this instance. It's not easy for people to admit their pain and admit that they caved in and let everything out. Because sometimes, we just need to let everything out, despite how much we just want to keep it in. Plus, it's healthier that way. Bottling up your emotions is never a good thing to do. What do you guys think about her not bottling up her emotions?

Hey everyone! How are you all? So, I put this in because I felt like we didn't get to see Sonia's mental and emotional side. I felt like we should've got some insight onto that, because her internal problems are just as important as others.

Well, that's all I got. Hope you all liked this chapter!

Please vote/comment/share/follow/message if you like my work! See you all next Sunday with a new entry in Sonia'a diary! Have a great week!

Love you guys,

Shree