All day, the only thing on my mind was my interaction with Tay at lunch. The news surprised me when I first heard it, but I wasn't sure if it was true. When I ran into Tay in the hall earlier, his quick joke, and the fact that he only stared blankly at nothing the whole lunch period erased my suspicions.

Everyone is on edge because Tay's blindness is a reminder that the same accident could have happened to anyone. Not only that, our strongest running back is now out of commission, which isn't only bad for our school. Tay loves football, but now he can't play it. He was good enough to go pro, but now the possibility of an NFL career was taken from him. That's heartbreaking.

The most shocking thing, though – the thought that was running through my head all day on loop – was that he remembers me. I didn't have to remind him who I am. He recognized my voice, even though we haven't talked to each other in person in a while.  We were close as kids, but since high school started and we found our own separate friend groups, we'd let communications down, save for the texts over the summer. Maybe now that his friends have started to assimilate me into their group, we'll have a chance at being close again.

As I walk down the hall, footsteps echo behind me. The closer each step sounds, the more anxiety pools in the pit of my stomach. I have an idea of who it is, but no clue what he wants. I just want to be left alone.

"Emori!" The voice makes me cringe, but I still turn to face its owner with a forced smile.

"Hey, Travis. You need something?" All of my muscles threaten to tense up and calming down is next to impossible. He's been hanging around me all day, but hasn't said much to me, besides 'introducing' me to everyone.

He approaches me with his football gear slung over his shoulder. "There's gonna be a party later tonight for Tay. He had a panic attack at lunch and we're hoping a party will make him feel better."

I snort at him. Does he really think Tay wants a party right now? Does Tay look like he wants to be around a bunch of people who have no clue what he's going through? Earlier in the cafeteria was enough evidence to prove he doesn't. If anyone can get him to go to that party, it will surprise me. Unless they trick him into showing up, force will be the only way.

Plus, first day of school or not, Monday parties aren't normal. No one ever has parties on a Monday. We can't drink a lot, and if anyone does, then they're going to regret it tomorrow.

"I don't know about that." I've never been invited to a party. Tay never seemed to make a big deal out of them and no one else I knew was in the in-crowd. At least with Tay there, I'll have someone to hang out with, so I won't be alone. Though, going with someone as popular as him means people will talk, and I probably won't like anything they have to say.

"Please? I know you and Tay used to be close and he's never treated you badly. Hell, I wish I could say the same for myself. And this is his first party since the accident. I know it will be good for someone other than me and Jackson to be there for him." He looks down at me, his dark eyes pleading. The tone of his voice catches me off guard, and I stand still in silence as I stare up at him. I can see why his spot on the student council has been his for years. He's good as hell at convincing people to do whatever he needs. "I know you probably hate me. But this isn't for me. It's for him."

But I'm still unconvinced that Tay will be willing to go to a party. Even if he's forced to show up, there's no chance he'll be willing to stick around. But the shy girl inside me knows what it's like to be alone and wish for even a small semblance of normality. As if no one knows what it's like to be in the same situation. That girl nods her head.

"Fine. I'll go." Whether Tay knows it or not, he'll need someone else by his side. And, if I'm being honest, I'm not turning down the chance to go to my first party.

"Yes." He punches the air with a smile. Before I can say anything else, he says, "I've got to go to practice, but I'll see you later?"

"Sure. See you later."

Travis smiles one last time before darting in the opposite direction, toward the field house. It doesn't take long for him to disappear from view.

Left alone with my thoughts, I wander around the halls for a little bit. I don't have to go straight home, and I don't feel like going yet, anyway. The halls are almost empty now that school is over, leaving them quiet for the first time all day. I find my locker, finally prepared to go home and face Mom's endless barrage of questions. Maybe I can avoid it if I try hard enough.

"Hey! Emori!" I turn to see Roxie, the co-head cheerleader walking up to me, her auburn hair swishing behind her and her pumps clicking against the floor. I narrow my eyes at her shoes. The heels are so high her feet have to be hurting. But I can't blame her for wanting to look nice on the first day of school.

"Hi, Roxie," I reply, surprising myself. Before this year, I would have just stared at her if she tried talking to me. Girls like her don't talk to girls like me. Why didn't I just keep walking? Any sane person would have. Especially someone with a past like mine.

"I went to Miss May for advice on recruiting for our team, and she told me that you're apparently a pretty good dancer, so I was wondering if you'd like to join the cheerleading squad." Her voice is silky and smooth as she smiles. It reminds me of the Cheshire Cat, her lips spreading so far that they almost reach her eyes. She sticks forward a yellow slip of paper. On the corner is the school's insignia, and below that is an invitation to cheerleading tryouts. "Coach gave me this to give to a new recruit since we're short a few people. With Miss May's blessing, I'm sure you'll make a good addition."

"Oh, I don't know, Roxie. I'm not really the cheerleading type." I shut my locker. Dancing is my thing, but since I couldn't audition for the local team over the summer, cheerleading is the next best thing. But cheerleaders get a lot of... different attention around school than what I'm going for. Especially Roxie, who is known for hooking up with random guys at parties. That's the rumor, anyway.

"You can come over to the gym later and watch practice if you want. You don't have to make up your mind just yet, but I hope you say yes." She turns and starts to walk away. "If you show up tonight, I'll know you're considering it!"

As she continues to walk away, part of me is wary of her. I mean, she and Tay were on-again, off-again, and from what I heard today, right now was the latter. If I get closer to Tay like I had today, Roxie can make my life a living hell again if she has the desire to. I still don't match up to her in the looks department, but she can still be insecure by my presence.

What a funny thought.

Sure, a little part of me is still attracted to Tay, but we're not that close anymore. He's too closed off and private. Just like earlier today at lunch, he avoids conversation as if he can't hear anyone.

I want to make him feel better about his situation. He deserves to feel normal. Out of all the students at this school, he's one of the few who's been kind to me. But on the other hand, I'm afraid of making him mad if I push him too far. His temper has always been an issue, but he's never been angry at me. And I wasn't too keen on changing that. But I'd have to risk it.

Because I'm looking at the ground, I don't see the person in front of me until I run into them.

"I am so sorry." I rub my sore butt as I stand up. This was the second time this has happened today. I'll be lucky if my poor tailbone isn't bruised after this.

"You know, we really have to stop meeting like this. I mean, I'm blind and I was standing still, so it's all on you this time." The person chuckles, and I realize who it is. Of course, Tay would be the person I run into, because I just have to embarrass myself more, apparently.

"Why -" I catch myself before I finish the question. Why aren't you at football practice? That question would probably make him hate me more than he hates the fact that he can't play anymore.

"Nevermind. Sorry." I'm not apologizing for running into him. But he doesn't catch that.

"You said 'sorry' already." He laughs this time, and I'm glad he can't see my face.

A blush spreads across my face, warming my cheeks and startling me. I haven't reacted to his laugh like that in so long that I almost forgot how electrifying it is. It makes it harder and harder to convince myself that I'm not attracted to him. Because even though we've grown apart, moments like this, when he seems so genuinely happy, all I can think about is how great those lips would feel against mine.

I shake my head. Now is not the time for that. For all he knows, I still look like I did before. I'm still the fat girl no one knows he used to be friends with.

"Sorry."

"Stop apologizing!" His laughter slows and he takes a deep breath. The happiness still lingers on his face as he looks away. "Now it's my turn to apologize. I'm laughing at you too much. Lord knows you've already gotten enough of that over the years."

I smile even though I know he can't see it. "Uh, Tay?"

His beautiful forest green eyes turn from his locker to me. Or rather, the spot next to my right shoulder. "Yeah?"

I contemplate not saying anything to prolong this moment of peace, but if I don't, he'll be in a worse mood later when he finds out about his friends' plans. "I'm not sure if anyone has told you yet, but there's gonna be a party tonight. Apparently, it's for you." I stare at his chest while I wait for his reply. I can't look at his face and risk seeing the pain in his eyes.

His smile wavers but doesn't fall. "Well, Emori, I reckon no one thought to tell me besides you." He pauses for a second and lets out an agitated sigh. "The guys seem to think going to parties will make me feel normal again. They don't understand that nothing will ever be normal for me again." His voice breaks on the last word, and he turns his face from my sight.

I regret telling him. "I -"

"No, don't apologize. Bad luck just has a way of finding me these days." He wipes his eyes. This is the first time I've seen this side of Tay. To see him on the verge of tears is odd, and I don't know what to do. He clenches his fists at his sides and lets them open again.

I open my mouth to speak again but stop when he shuts his locker and takes a deep breath. "Will you be there? 'Cause it's not like I can avoid it, so a friendly face would be nice."

"Yeah, I'll be there." I've already made up my mind on that, but the fact that he's asked me had me biting back a grin.

He smiles, but there's no genuine happiness in it this time. It's dark and devoid of any emotion. Seeing it on him is terrifying. "Well, then, at least I won't have to be alone."

"I can meet you before." I glance at my phone even though I know what time it is. I just needed an excuse to look at anything but his face. "It's two forty-five right now, so we can meet at my car at seven-thirty?"

Tay nods while wiping his face. "I'll see you then." Then, he turns around and walks away.

I watch him for a second, feeling like maybe there's something else I should have said, but really, what is there? Anything I have to say won't make up for how he's feeling right now. He needs this time alone because it will take some time for him to trust the world again.

Groaning and running a hand over my face, I turn and continue down the hall and through the school's doors. My legs drag me along as I trudge toward my car, swinging my keys on my finger.

On the drive home, insecurities hit me like a flash mob. I don't have a school jersey or T-shirt. And what else am I supposed to wear? I'm not sure what other girls wear to parties, but they're usually after games. That means they probably wear jerseys or spirit wear, but what about parties on a Monday?

As I drive, I don't sing along with the radio in my car. Rows of houses and buildings pass me in a blur as I make my way home, clicking my fingernails off my steering wheel anxiously.

"Mom?" I call when I enter the house.

"Yes, honey?" She pokes her head around the kitchen doorway. Her hair swings around her head and hangs lazily on her shoulder as she holds a container of cottage cheese.

"Do you have any nice clothes I can borrow to go out?"

All blonde hair and tan skin, Mom is the perfect image of beauty. People say we look exactly alike, but I can't see it. Where Mom's hair is blonde and wavy, mine is red and straight like my father's was. We have the same body shape and long legs, but where mom is an hourglass, I'm a pear.

"I might, somewhere. Who are you going out with?"

I chew on my lip. This next bit of conversation can go one of two ways. She can be caught completely off-guard, or she can make it a big deal.

Wishful thinking that she won't make a big deal, either way.

"Just Tay and a few of his friends."

A pan clatters on the floor, and I rush to the kitchen.

Mom, flustered, dropped a pot of water and is trying to clean it up with a towel. I grab the mop and hand it to her.

"What was that about?"

"Tay?" she repeats, blinking.

"Yeah, what's so surprising?" I cross my arms. Mom knows Tay and I used to be close friends. "This shouldn't have been surprising.

"It's just... I didn't know he was willing to go out again so soon after the accident." Mom had heard about the accident, then. Her concern is genuine. I wasn't sure he was going to willingly go to the party when I asked, but when he asked if I was going, I was taken by surprise.

"I don't know. He asked me if I wanted to hang out with him, so I figured I should say yes." I shrug, pulling a bottle of water out of the fridge. She doesn't need to know that hang out really means party. "Oh, and thanks for telling me about the accident by the way."

"It wasn't my information to tell," she says, shaking her head at me. "Besides, you found out anyway, didn't you? And, besides, he asked you out. If you knew about his accident you might not have even talked to him when you saw him."

I roll my eyes. "Not out, out, Mom. His friends will be there. And he's my friend, too. I'd be horrible if I didn't try to talk to him."

I preheat the oven for her, waiting for it to beep before putting the lasagna in. Even if Tay and I were close and he was nice, even when I was still fat, that doesn't mean he likes me. He was always like everyone else, gravitating toward the cheerleaders and thin girls. "I've got to get dressed now, but make sure not to drop any more pans."

"Ha-ha, smartass." She throws her oven mitt at me. "Look in the back of my closet. There should be a dress or two in there."

---

After I find something to wear, I leave for the school to see the cheerleaders practice.

Right as I walk in, I watch two cheerleaders do what I assume are repeated backflips across the gym floor, and my face pales. Is that what I'm going to have to do? That's terrifying!

"Emori!" Roxie calls and jogs over to me. She looks down with a critical eye at my attire but doesn't comment.

I look down at the clothes, feeling self-conscious about my outfit. I picked out my favorite blue jeans and one of mom's burnt orange blouses. The color matched well with my skin tone and gave it a sort of glow. It was tied in the middle and tucked under to reveal a little of my stomach, but not enough to reveal the surgical scars.

"I'm glad you showed up." Roxie gestures to the gym. "Obviously, this is our team. People are put in certain positions based on what they do best. There are flyers, bases, dancers, and stunters. If you decide to join, don't worry about having to do stunts since it's a little late to start tumbling now. You'll get an assignment that best fits your abilities."

I nod. "I think I'll just watch for a bit."

"Take your time." She nods, turning to walk away, but not before looking back at me. "By the way, you might wanna do something about the rumors." She glances at a group of girls speaking in the back corner.

"What?" Rumors? About me?

"You know. That you and Travis are sleeping together, and that you only lost weight because you took a lot of drugs. Those rumors. Didn't you know?" She watches me for a moment, her eyes softening at my obliviousness. "Hm. Guess not," she says before returning to the rest of the flyers.