The cafeteria is much larger than I remember, with a lot more people. But it smells like fresh bread and spices, and that's enough to soothe my nerves. Even though there are many different options ranging from pizza to burgers to salad, it always smells like bread and I can never figure out why.

When I step through the door, I search for Tay and his friends. I spot them and make my way toward them until my stomach growls. A burger is beginning to sound amazing, but if I give in to the temptation, it won't be long before I start overeating. And that can't happen ever again.

Right when I reach the food counter, someone bumps into me. He quickly apologizes, so I don't bother looking up at him. But the line moves, and he stays in his spot, staring at the food options.

I try to step around him, but April, one of the servers, clears her throat at me. With a huff, I sit my tray down on the sliding bar and cross my arms. There aren't that many options to choose from, and none of them are that much more appealing than the last. What is his deal?

"Hey, man, you're holding up the line," a guy behind me points out. Indecisive-guy looks up from the selections to apologize again and settles on a slice of pizza before moving on. Wow. That wasn't as hard as I thought.

I turn to look at the guy who got the other to move. When my eyes meet bright blue ones, I almost jump. His dark, unruly, blue hair and piercings tell me he isn't someone I want to mess with. But when he smiles, all previous assumptions go out the window, and I stare at him, no doubt a stupid look on my face.

"Hey. It's good to see you." His smile doesn't disappear when she speaks and his voice is deep, with a huskiness that twists my stomach.

"I'm sure it's nice to see you..." I trail off as I try to remember his name. He knows mine, so it's only fair to remember his. His name is in the back of my mind, but I can't quite place it.

"Asa," he offers.

So, that's who this is. Wait. What happened to the baby face and shy smile?

I stare at him with newfound confusion and try to connect him to the gangly teenager I worked with on a few class projects in the past. He was always so shy, but very intelligent. Even when he was making a stupid joke about something we learned in Health. This guy looks nothing like him. He has wide shoulders, an angular jaw, and high cheekbones, whereas the Asa I knew was the opposite.

"I've changed a bit since last year, so I'm not offended that you don't remember me." He flicks his head toward the line. "I think you ought to move along before the folks behind me get too mad, though."

"Oh. Sorry." I shake my head to clear the fog and look at the food options. My stomach growls as I look at the pizza, but I hesitate to reach for it. I mentally count the calories in my head. A typical slice of pizza like this is around 300 calories, so I'll only have about 1,200 left that I can eat today. Not worth it.

I bite my lip and grab a salad, putting a scoop of chicken and cheese on it. When I look up, the line has moved ahead of me, and I'm now in the front. Hypocrite. I send an apologetic glance to the checkout lady and keep my head down as I approach Tay's friend group.

"Took you long enough," Travis comments as if I took two years, as I take a seat beside Tay.

I let out a quiet sigh as I pick at my salad. It's been forever since I've allowed myself to eat something that doesn't fit within my macronutrient goals. But if I have even a little, there's a high chance I won't stop until I'm the same girl I was before.

Tay tilts his head toward me, enough so only I notice. "You okay? I can talk to Travis if you want. He can be a dick sometimes."

I swallow my bite of salad and try to steady my voice. "Yeah, it's okay. It's not him."

Tay doesn't seem convinced, and he frowns while reaching over to rest his hand on mine. I shake my head and pull it away, whispering another "It's okay" with a lack of assurance that I'm sure he noticed.

"Hey, Emori," someone says from across the table. "How are you?"

Warm eyes meet mine, and the owner smiles, a gentle curve on the right corner of his lip. Everything about him seems kind in a way I haven't noticed before. He never batted an eye at me in the halls or paid attention to me until now. But maybe that's a good thing now that we have a shot at being friends. I have nothing to hate him for.

"I'm good, thanks." I stare down at my tray. I know who these guys are, but their attitude has completely changed towards me. The tripping, book smacking, and fat-shaming of the last three years is a different reality now. And all because I lost a little weight?

"Hey, Emori, I just remembered something," Tay says. When I look at him, he's grinning. It's genuine, and it brings out the dimples in his dark skin. His curly black hair drops into his face a little and he flicks it away. For a moment, I'm dumbstruck.

"What?"

"You remember that tree house in my backyard?"

I furrow my brows. That tree house was where we spent most of our time as children. "Yeah?"

"You remember that time when Gavin kept trying to climb the ladder to get to us and we pelted him with acorns?" His eyes crinkle at the memory. "I don't think he tried again after that.

Then, he frowns. I know where his mind went. Gavin is gone and there's no getting that time back.

"Ta -"

"It's fine," he interrupts.

He doesn't say much for the rest of the time I sit with him.

Everyone else goes about their lives, talking and joking. I watch him out of the corner of my eye, and every minute I grow more annoyed by the way his friends don't pay attention to how different things are now. Anything he used to do with them, like horsing around or looking at sports videos isn't a reality for him anymore.

But they don't care.

Tay's head tilts down at his tray as he pokes at half-cooked peas with his spoon. His once mesmerizing murky green eyes glance at his friends – or rather, in their general direction – occasionally, but he doesn't speak. I watch him with my eyebrows scrunched together. I want to help him, but how am I supposed to do that? I have no clue what is going through his mind right now.

"Hey, Tay?"

"Hm?" he responds, head still tilted down at his peas.

"Never mind." I turn away. I want to ask why he never told me about the accident. We texted almost every day. Until we didn't. But I still could have been there for him if he let me.

"Psst." The sound comes from the table behind me, and I turn, squinting to find the voice. Asa grins at me, and I'm taken aback by it once again. He waves a hand and gestures to the seat beside him.

I hesitate, glancing back at Tay. He's too occupied by his peas to pay attention to his surroundings. "I'll be right back, okay?"

He makes a noise of acknowledgment but doesn't look up.Biting my lip, I stand up and approach the other table. "I hope they don't get mad I left." I glance back at the guys as I take a seat beside Asa.

"I doubt they'll notice." A girl with fire-colored hair flicks a strand over her shoulder. She turns her nose up in disdain at the group of guffawing guys in front of her and scoffs. "They're too busy picking each other's noses."

"They're not that bad." I rub my arm. Though they aren't my friends, I feel the need to defend them. Why? What have any of them besides Tay ever done for me that's kind? Absolutely nothing.

"Tch." The tie-dyed ring in her lip twitches as she chews on it. She sighs and leans back in her chair to kick a combat boot-clad foot onto her knee. "Anyway, I'm Toni."

"Emori," I replied, not sure whether to shake her hand or compliment her boots. She seems sweet enough but in an I'll-kick-your-ass-before-you-know-what's-happening-if-you-cross-me-but-we-can-be-friends-if-you're-useful way. My muscles tense against my better instincts and my brain screams at me to return to my spot beside Tay.

"She's harmless. Don't let her tough act fool you." Asa offers a soft smile to ease my nerves.

Harmless? I quirk an eyebrow. Despite my skepticism, my body begins to relax a little at the sure tone of his voice.

"So, how come you're hanging out with these guys?" Toni inclines her head toward the group of guys.

"Oh, them? I'm sort of friends with Tay and didn't really have anyone else to sit with before he offered." I pick at the edge of my nail. If I'm being honest, I only asked Tay if I could sit with him because I want things to be different than normal, and I don't want to eat alone in the library like I used to.

"Friends? With Tay?" Toni barks out a laugh. Her whole body moves with it, and some of her long red hair slides to her back. "That's about the funniest thing I've heard in a while."

I frown. What's so funny about my friendship with Tay? He's always so sweet to me, even when I was ridiculed by everyone else in my class. He was the only true friend I'd had for a long time.

"Easy, there, Toni," Asa warns, nudging her sharply with his elbow. "She's actually his friend. It ain't so funny when you're on the other side."

Her shoulders jerk up, more in a defensive motion than a casual shrug, and she purses her lips. "I still think it's pretty funny."

"He's a good guy." I cross my arms. I can't sit by and let her make it seem like Tay isn't a good friend. Or that he's impossible to be friends with.

"Listen, honey." She uncrosses her legs and leans forward to look at me through eyelashes so long I'm almost sure they're fake.

"There has never been a good guy who was also popular. It goes against the very nature of high school. You let that fact go out the window and you'll get your heart broken."

What right does she have to tell me that? I barely know her! She's just a normal person, just like me, only her... superiority complex somehow makes her qualified to give me advice? As if somehow, she knows what Tay is like, despite never actually having a decent conversation with him?

"Toni, you're making her mad." Asa nudges her again, more forcefully this time. "Frankly, it's getting on my nerves a bit, too. You ain't got the right -"

"You know what?" She stands up quickly, her nose curled up in anger. Her hair falls into her face, and somehow, she manages to look more intimidating than before. "I'm done with this. I was only trying to warn her. Can't blame me for it."

I watch as she storms away.

"Shit," Asa curses. He sends me a sympathetic smile before he follows her, trying to calm her down.

That isn't the type of girl I wanna make my friend.