Frankie Rose
••• Pair of Wings •••

all that i want is a pair of wings to fly
into the blue of the wide open sky
show me your scars, i'll show you mine
perched out of the city on a pair of power lines

•••••

Hey guys no surprise I fucked up the maths of Lloyd's age, please just roll with the changes and don't bring it up because I have dyscalculia and feel stupid enough already :)

Lloyd wasn't 12 when he aged up, he was 11. My bad!

Also this is 'the conversation' chapter so please expect an abundance of dialogue! (See, readers, that healthy communication tag DOES come into this fic /silly)

On another note - 400k words!! Rraghhh!!!!!! What the fuck is mental sanity!!!!!!!!!! Let's celebrate with 13k words and pretend it was intentional and not me being unable to find a suitable place to cut it! 🎉

TW: child neglect endangerment & abandonment, mentions of gore, mentions of depression, mentions of pregnancy 

  "Be careful as to not touch his shirt," Zane instructed as he clasped my hands to the safest spots of Lloyd's waist and shoulder. My grip was relentless despite my shaking. "You do not want to come into contact with any trace particles of the venom."

  We sat upon Sparkplug, the faster of the two available Elemental Dragons, with Lloyd awkwardly splayed on his stomach between Zane and I. The other ninja's gis had been draped over his wound to limit contact with the venom, and I wasn't sure if the eye-stinging odour of melting cotton and wool was from Lloyd's thermal top or the venom stating to eat through the new gis.

  Jay sat upfront in the saddle and watched us over his shoulder. Little sparks of electricity danced from his curls while Sparkplug kept shifting his weight on his massive, clawed paws, betraying his master's stress. His anxious expression would've done that alone.

  "Ready?" Jay asked.

  Zane gave a firm nod. "Ready."

  Sparkplug took to the air like a shot. My stomach was promptly left behind, and then there was a terrifying moment where I thought I'd tumble off the dragon's end and get left behind myself, but Zane snatching my shoulder kept me balanced. I gasped out my thanks, but I'm pretty sure it was lost in the wind.

  The blue dragon eventually evened out, letting me finally focus on keeping Lloyd from jostling too much. His gi around me did nothing to combat the chill, but both him and Zane had still refused me giving it up for Lloyd. Something was better than nothing, and we'd all rather deal with one crisis at a time. We could do without me catching hypothermia.

  Lloyd's shoulders jolted with each sharp breath of his, his gasps silent and exuding pain. I pulled off his mask so he could breathe a little easier and tucked it into the waist of my pants with frozen fingers. When he caught my terrified expression, his gritted teeth tried to curl into a reassuring smile. I didn't have the heart to tell him that it made his grimace look even more frightening.

  "Don't- don't look so worried," Lloyd managed to say. His hand reached out to hold my knee. "It's fine."

  He was impossible. I couldn't believe he'd do something as reckless as allowing himself to be hit with some intense fear-inducing venom just to keep me safe. Surely had other options - and to do it after a week of me refusing to talk to him? I shook my head with exasperation.

  "You are the most selfless, courageous and stupidiest man I've ever met," I exclaimed over the wind.

  Lloyd's foggy eyes squinted teasingly. "Ha- handsome too, though, right?"

  I could barely hear him. My laugh was strained, trembling with fear and the cold. "Yeah. Handsome, too."

  There wasn't much on-the-fly medical attention Zane could administer with a workspace as unstable as the back of a dragon. Instead, he turned his attention to me. I had to ask him to repeat himself, his words stolen by wind.

  "Do you have any idea what Lloyd's greatest fear might be?" he shouted.

  I shook my head. "No!" I could take a very vague, very uneducated guess, but the brief mentions of his past didn't give me much to work with. I'd never been allowed to know.

  Sparkplug dipped and swayed with the blowing gusts that bit viciously at my face. His wings buffeted against the wind, trailing blue mist and faint lines of electricity. The dragon's entire body almost seemed to be buzzing. The cold cut through me like lines of knives, so cruel that I feared I'd lose my fingers.

  "We will need to assist him through it," Zane continued. "It will be beneficial to have prior knowledge so we can prepare. Think, Y/n!"

  I glanced down at Lloyd in hopes that he'd give me a hint, but his eyes were closed with a scowl of pain, darting beneath his eyelids. We were losing him to his fears.

  I could only helplessly shake my head. "Morro? Lord Garmadon? I don't know, Zane, it could be anything!"

  Zane's face crumpled with frustration. He didn't seem to have a clue, either. What terrified the great Green Ninja? What kept Lloyd Garmadon up at night? There were too many possibilities, and he was no easy read.

  Sparkplug began his descent in a smooth swoop that had my heart climbing into my throat. Lloyd's hand tightened over my knee. I held it, snaking my fingers through his and giving a reassuring squeeze. I couldn't help him fight his demons but I would hold his hand through it.

  The warm monastery erupted into vision over the tops of frost-touched pine trees, leaking yellow light and stiffening me further. We were moving as soon as the Elemental Dragon landed on the gravel driveway, with Zane and Jay helping Lloyd along while I followed and made sure the gis didn't fall. Garmadon and Wu were waiting at the entrance steps, each holding stern, worried frowns. Without greeting, we were ushered straight into the medical bay.

  Lloyd groaned when the extra gis were pulled from his shoulders, revealing the angry, blistering red skin of his wound. Garmadon and Wu didn't stop to gape in horror how like I did before - they'd been through worse, nothing much fazed them anymore - but instead got set on removing Lloyd's belts and armour. Zane began cutting his ruined thermal with a pair of nurse's scissors.

  I had to look away when his shirt was pulled from him in ripped pieces. The scar across his now-bare chest reminded me too much of the video where it was still so fresh and gorey - and now he was hurt again. My stomach was unsettled.

  There was nothing I could do to help without getting in the way. I hung back, watching and nervously picking on the lycra of my sport leggings, waiting for a chance to assist. Jay stood beside me, equally as worried and equally with nothing to do.

  "Lloyd." Wu picked up a small glass vial that had been set on the bench with a few ointments and bandages. He held it to his nephew's shivering lips and carefully tipped the bright-blue contents into his mouth. "You must drink this."

  Swaying on his feet, Lloyd made a quiet moan of protest before succumbing and drinking. Once done, Garmadon and Zane hoisted him onto the gurney so they could finally address his wound. Lloyd's grimacing face was beginning to drip with sweat. His teeth were chattering with cold.

  Wu passed a fresh bottle of saline to Zane, who began washing down Lloyd's shoulder again. He almost rose off of the gurney with how hard his body writhed to escape the stinging sensation of it, and Lloyd's cry of pain made me grasp for Jay's hand. He held mine tight to his chest.

  "Now, son," Garmadon soothed. He patted the blond curls on the back of Lloyd's head. "You must remember that the venom will make you see things that are not there. It is not real."

  Lloyd's nod was feeble. His pants were laboured, as if he were running a marathon and not splayed on his stomach with a toxic burn the size of my hand. The green gi around me and his calming scent it gave did little to soothe my anxiousness.

  Zane grabbed a container from the bench of prepared supplies and began quickly applying a layer of topical cream to the blisters. Lloyd's inhale was sharp with pain - and then he gasped.

  "Where did you..?" Lloyd murmured. His eyes shot open and darted around restlessly, seeing what was not really there. "Wait!"

  He tried to lift himself from the gurney but was pushed back down by his dad. Lloyd grunted at the impact, before struggling against him and yelling incoherency. I squeezed Jay's hand tight - far too tight, but he didn't make a sound of complaint. He was just as horrified as me.

  "Brother." Garmadon suddenly sounded uncertain and looked to him for direction. Wu crouched beside Lloyd's frightened face and spoke gently.

  "It is not real," Wu soothed. "It is just the venom making you see things, Lloyd. Focus on my voice."

  "How do they know what to do?" I asked Jay in a whisper. His expression pinched with discomfort at the reminder of some memory.

  "Kai was hit a few years ago," he answered. "Wu and Zane had to take care of him."

  "Oh." Poor Kai. "What was...?"

  "His greatest fear is Christmas," Jay quietly said. I sent him a surprised look, upon which he quickly elaborated. "I know. We all teased him about it. We stopped after he told us that it was Christmas Day when he realised his parents weren't coming back home."

  My heart sunk even further than it already had. "Jesus."

  "I know," Jay sighed. "It's nasty stuff."

  Garmadon stepped back from the gurney when Lloyd settled again, limp on the mattress and his breaths cut through with thin whimpers. I turned my eyes away with despair. I could barely handle watching him like this.

  Garmadon stopped beside me and offered a nod of greeting to Jay and I. My gaze turned to the floor with shame. The last time I saw him, I'd left the monastery in tears.

  But Garmadon clearly wasn't as uncomfortable as me. He patted my back in reassurance.

  "He'll be okay," he said. "It should only last for a few hours. Lloyd's strong."

  Lloyd had to go through this for a few hours? Even just seeing him struggle against his fears for a minute was too much. Why would he put himself in this position?

  "What was it that Wu made him drink?" I asked, a distraction against the distraught heaviness inside of me.

  "A digestible anti-venom. One of Mistaké's finer creations." Garmadon sent me a small, concerned smile. "It is good to see you again, despite the circumstances. We have all missed you."

  With everything else I'd already experienced in the past twenty-four hours, I shouldn't have been surprised that my eyes welled up at Garmadon's caring words. Now that the sting of betrayal and hurt had finally settled, a big part of my life just felt empty without Lloyd's family. Because they weren't just his family - they were also mine.

  "I missed you, too," I said in a wobbly voice. Garmadon's smile softened.

  Lloyd jumped again. A string of worried murmurs and pleas left his lips. Zane placed the ointment back onto the bench and washed his hands.

  "Is there anything I can do?" I asked.

  Wu shook his head. "All we can do now is wait."

  I blew air through my lips in an attempt to release my stress. I hated not being able to do anything, but I wasn't about to leave Lloyd's side when he was going through something as horrible as this. I spotted a chair in the corner of the bay and pulled it to the gurney.

  "Why don't you go get warmed up?" Garmadon suggested before I could take a seat. "You will be here for a while."

  I hesitated. "Oh..."

  Garmadon's expression warmed at my reluctance. "He will not be going anywhere."

  Lloyd looked so awful that I really didn't want to leave, but I already felt awkward just by being back - and I think the awkwardness of refusing would be too much. I did still keenly feel the chill, and the dried sweat stuck to my running gear wasn't the most comfortable. Lloyd wasn't going anywhere. He had his family with him.

  I nodded. "I'll be quick."

  I practically sprinted through the hallways to get to the quarters wing, dodging by surprised monks - a few of which I was acquainted with. I had no time to stop and chat. I was determined to take the least amount of time away from Lloyd's side as humanly possible.

  It felt weird being back in his room after the week we had, but I didn't let myself linger on any bittersweet thoughts. I didn't have the time for it. The mess of his usually tidy, sort-of-blank room was subtly noticed. I grabbed some loungewear I'd left in Lloyd's drawers and hurried to have the world's quickest shower.

  I was back at his side within fifteen minutes, book in hand.

  Jay and Zane had already left to undress out of their ninja gear and not clog up the medical bay. Garmadon had switched places with his brother and was talking quietly to his son. Wu was tidying away the supplies they used. 

  "Is he getting better?" I asked. Lloyd wasn't shaking anymore. He looked asleep.

  "The anti-venom is trying to reduce the effects of the toxins, but it will not guarantee immediate reprieve. He will go through phases of it being better and worse," Wu replied.

  "Is there anything I can do?" I was pretty sure I'd already asked that, but I needed to ask again.

  Garmadon stood from the seat I'd brought over. "You can try talking to him. We think it may help soothe his... nightmares."

  I slowly nodded and took the seat. A thin tartan blanket had been drawn around Lloyd, the hem sitting just below his wound. He shuddered as if he were cold but when I felt his forehead, his skin was burning.

  Wu hummed with consideration. "I think it is time I showed Zane Dad's old soup recipe. Lloyd will appreciate the vigour it will give him when he comes to."

  Garmadon nodded. "Good idea."

  When Wu left the room, it was just Garmadon and I, and the silence stretched for a long, few minutes. I picked up Lloyd's clammy hand and gently played with his fingers. Maybe if he felt me holding him, he'd feel better. 

  Lloyd's breathing hitched before smoothening again. The white paste across his wound was slowly drying. My knees bounced the book that laid in my lap with disjointed rhythm. Why did I even bring it? I was too nervous to read.

  "Y/n."

  I flinched and looked at Garmadon. Thinking he found my fidgeting annoying, I planted my feet and forced my legs to remain still.

  "Sorry," I said.

  "That wasn't what I was going to ask." He smiled faintly, as if both sad and amused. "How are you doing?"

  I didn't really want to be having this conversation right now, but Garmadon had always been kind to me. I leant forward and brushed away a blond curl that'd stuck to Lloyd's forehead with a fingertip. His lashes fluttered, closed eyes darting. My silly, too-brave hero.

  "Better than Lloyd," I mumbled. At Garmadon's quiet chuckle and then his lingered silence, I knew he was wanting a real answer. "I'm doing better than I was last week."

  Garmadon came to stand on the other side of Lloyd's bedside. His green eyes were all full of fatherly care as he stared down at his son, but there was that usual hint of melancholy in the lines of his face that he always seemed to carry.

  I wondered if he ever blamed himself for Lloyd's destiny. What parent would choose this kind of life for their kid?

  I didn't have much time to ponder that, because Lloyd suddenly lurched upright with an exclamation of panic. I jumped in shock. My book fell to the ground. Garmadon placed his hands on Lloyd's shoulder blades and gently urged him back down.

  "No! No, don't! Please!" He fought against his father's strength, clawing at the edge of the gurney in a desperate need to escape - or to chase after something. "I can't- I can't-!"

  I was too startled to do anything but stare. Garmadon nodded at me and caught my attention.

  "Talk to him, Y/n," he said. "He needs to hear your voice."

  I willed myself into action and caught Lloyd's hand again. He clasped me - his grip so sudden and strong that I gasped in pain. I didn't dare let go.

  "Lloyd! Lloyd." I touched his cheek and turned his face toward me, even if he couldn't see through his fogged-over eyes. His terror was pouring from him like the waterfalls of a hydrostation. "Lloyd, it's okay. It's not real."

  His entire body was shaking like a leaf. Even after Morro, he wasn't this bad. "I can't- I can't do it again."

  "Can't do what?" I whispered. I brushed my thumb over his cheek and a shaky breath escaped him. "What are you seeing?"

  He sobbed. "There's no-one."

  What? I stared at him in confusion as he finally let Garmadon push his chest down onto the gurney. His tears slipped down the bridge of his nose and landed on the plastic mattress. My hand crawled through his hair the way I knew he liked.

  "You're okay," I said soothingly.

  "There's no-one," Lloyd repeated breathlessly. "I don't want to be alone again."

  My hand paused. I glanced up at Garmadon, who'd gone still with shock. When he came to, a myriad of upset expressions cycled over in his face. He turned away and rubbed his forehead.

  "Hey." I pulled myself back together and returned my attention Lloyd. "You're not alone. I'm right here."

  Lloyd's breathing caught. "Y/n?"

  My heart leapt at his recognition. I smiled sadly. "That's right. I'm not going anywhere, hero. I'll keep my promise this time."

  "I'm so sorry," he whimpered. His brows knotted with despair and longing. "I'm sorry. Don't leave me, too."

  I kissed the back of his hand and pressed my cheek against it hard, willing him to trust my voice through the haze of toxins. "I'm not going to leave you. I promise, Lloyd. You've got me."

  Either he must've heard me or the anti-venom was doing its job, because he soon relaxed back into slumber. After making sure he was truly settled, I leant back in my seat and released a heavy breath.

  Lloyd's greatest fear was being abandoned. It made sense in some horrible, awful way. He always did seem to walk in a life apart from the rest of us. The Green Ninja with no equal - how lonely he must've felt for years.

  Then he came across me. I was his equal, even if I still didn't truly believe it. And I'd abandoned him after he asked me to stay.

  My hand came up to cover my trembling lips. I had to sniff back my sobs to keep myself from falling into tears, because I hadn't realised just how awful he must've felt when I left. How bad did he get? Did his fear trick himself into thinking that I'd leave him forever?

  I bowed my head until it touched Lloyd's hand in my lap. I just kept on failing him.

  "I'm sorry," I breathed with a shaky gasp. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have left."

  "Y/n, dear." Garmadon's thick voice made me look up. His eyes had gone misty, too. "It's not your fault. Do not get remorseful for feeling your emotions."

  When I blinked, tears fell. "But-"

  "No," Garmadon said firmly. "We all knew that it would not be easy for you to hear the truth. Lloyd knew this, too. He wouldn't want you to ignore your pain."

  It was hard to not ignore my pain when Lloyd was like this. His father returned to his bedside and brushed a hand down his hair.

  "I apologise for my part in the distress you must have been under. If it were up to me, I would've made Lloyd tell you sooner." Garmadon sighed and smiled bittersweetly at his son. "But he is an adult, and I cannot make him do what I want him to. I can only guide him in the right direction and hope he gets there himself."

  I stared at Lloyd's hand and brushed my thumb over his nails. They'd been bitten. He usually wasn't a nail biter.

  "I don't blame you," I said quietly. "It hurt to learn that everyone was keeping something as big as this from me, but I can't blame you all for Lloyd's secret. He needed to be the one to tell me."

  Garmadon made a hum of agreement. I sniffled and wiped my weepy eyes. We went quiet again, mulling in the revelation of Lloyd's greatest fear and how we'd both contributed to it. I'd never known a mood so sombre.

  "What are you going to do, now?" Garmadon asked.

  I exhaled through my nose. "I don't know." I hadn't gotten around to thinking of a plan before I was calling up Lloyd for help.

  "What would you want to happen?"

  I glanced up at him before pulling my eyes away with a deep inhale and pausing with consideration. I thought wanted things to go back to the way they were - except I didn't, did I? There'd always been that nugget of uncertainty lingering in the back of my head. There'd always been those insurmountable walls of Lloyd's between us.

  I used to think I was happy with him, but... maybe I wasn't as happy as I'd tricked myself into believing.

  But, god, did I love him. I threaded my fingers through Lloyd's and felt my heart grow heavy.

  "I want to talk," I softly said. "I want to hear him out and... and I need to tell him about how I've been feeling the past few months."

  I wanted us to work. I wanted us to be good together, and I wanted him to trust me like how I trusted him. I didn't want any secrets between us - not his, nor mine.

  Garmadon dolefully nodded. "That is what you both need."

  It is. I wiped away Lloyd's tears with my sleeve.

🍃🍂🍁🍂🍃

  Lloyd slept through the rest of the afternoon and through dinner, but I didn't have an appetite to eat. I sat at his side and stared at the ceiling, waiting for him to wake.

  I learnt that Misako was down in Ignacia for a business trip, and that the rest of the ninja were on a mission somewhere along the Alps. Jay and Zane dropped by but they didn't linger for long. I wasn't good for conversation, and Garmadon had disappeared after Lloyd's panic attacks stopped. I imagined he needed to come to terms with some new revelations of his own.

  A rustle on the gurney made my heart leap into my throat. Worried that he was going to have another attack, I was just about to call for Wu but stopped myself when I noticed Lloyd blinking groggily. His eyes were no longer foggy.

  I released an inaudible sigh of relief. It was over.

  "Hey," I quietly greeted. Lloyd lifted his eyes to me and briefly paused. My smile was small. His hand in mine was limp. "How are you feeling?"

  Lloyd slowly pulled himself up into a sitting position. When his hand slipped from mine, I pressed them between my thighs and hoped I didn't look to upset by the loss. He wiped his eyes and shook his head, as if he'd just woken from a long, deep slumber and it was beckoning for his return.

  "Like I've been put through a tumble dryer," he answered in a slurred mumble, before wincing with a hiss. "My shoulder hurts."

  I smiled a little, but it faded quickly. "I'm not surprised."

  Lloyd didn't respond to that. He stared at his lap as he slowly came to, either deep in thought or totally blank. I watched my socks rub each other.

  "Thanks," he said quietly, making me look up at him in question. "For, y'know... talking to me."

  My fidgeting paused. "You heard me?" I'd thought he wouldn't have been able to remember anything that happened. He must've been more coherent than I thought. Did he hear my promise to stay? Did it reassure him?

  Lloyd nodded. He still couldn't quite meet my stare.
  
  "... why did you do it?" I asked.

  Lloyd shrugged, before wincing when it moved his shoulder too much. My hand twitched to reach out for him.

"I just wanted to make sure you wouldn't get hit," he said.
 
  I shook my head and exhaled in disbelief. "There were so many better ways-"

  Lloyd cut me off and finally caught my gaze. "I needed to make sure you wouldn't get hit."

  My retort died on my lips. Lloyd's stern expression slipped away and he turned his eyes back to his lap. I stared at my socks again. The room lapsed back into silence.

  I wanted to talk to him, but suddenly it was so difficult.

  "Thanks," I quietly said, because I realised I hadn't even thanked him for saving me yet. "You always protect me."

  "Of course I do," Lloyd murmured. "You're important to me."

  My heart fluttered and warmed. He peeked up and smiled when he found me hiding my blushing cheek with the guise of a nonchalant, well-placed scratch of my temple. It didn't help that he was still without a shirt. The well-sculpted planes of his athletic body was practically egging me to stare.

  Damn him and damn my readable emotions. This was supposed to be a serious moment, and he still managed to get me flustered.

  "I'm sorry." Lloyd's apology made me drop my hand and turn my focus back to him. His eyes were full of regret. "You're the last person I'd ever want to hurt."

  My heart swelled and deflated like the rise and fall of an ocean. Gratefulness and hurt still fought over me, trying viciously to decide what I felt the most.

  "I know," I said, almost in a whisper. Then I sighed. "But you did."

  Lloyd's face turned down to his lap again, wordless with regret. I rose my head to the ceiling and willed my eyes to stay dry. No backing out. No backing out. This was what we needed.

  "Lloyd, I love you," I began, quiet with earnest truth and fear. "I do. I love you so much, and it's so scary to feel that way when you keep so much of yourself hidden from me."

  Lloyd looked up at me with a distraught expression. I was already losing the battle for my composure, needing to wipe away a tear with the end of my sleeve.

  "I know you don't mean it, but it makes me feel like I'm not important enough to know you, or that you don't love me as much as I love you. Or that you don't even trust me." My next breath was heavy with misery. "And I know it's stupid, but I can't stop thinking that way."

  Lloyd leant back a little and blinked, both forlorn and shocked by the revelation of how I'd been experiencing the past few months. I had to take a moment to regain control over my thickening throat and shattered voice. I squeezed my legs for strength.

  "I thought that if I didn't push, or- or if I was good enough that you'd come to me on your own, and then everything would be okay." I shook my head and dropped my chin. "I was so focused on you and how you felt that I didn't realise how much it was hurting me. And it's not just the age thing, it's everything. "

  I stared at my lap, lacking the resolve to look at him. Lloyd didn't interrupt or correct my fears. He just listened.

  "And- and I feel like an asshole, because I can't force you to just be okay to tell me whatever you've been through." Any hope of regaining my composure was gone - it'd slipped through my fingers and left me with all the anguish that I'd prayed wouldn't trip me up. But I was tumbling. "I don't know what you went through, but I do know that it was hard, and I don't know if I'm a terrible person for feeling the way I do."

  I clasped my shaking hands together and squeezed my eyes shut. I'd thought about telling him this all week, but actually saying it was terrifying - and harrowing. My entire body felt hollowed out by grief.

  Lloyd placed his hand over mine. It was big and warm and beautiful, his callouses and scars something I knew intimately. My hands split apart so I could hold him, a grounding lifeline I needed in the turmoil I was lost in.

  "Y/n." Lloyd's gentle voice made my next breath shudder. "You are not a terrible person."

  His words made my emotions splay and spike and give out, a radical rebellion I couldn't wish to contain. I sobbed.

  Lloyd cursed beneath his breath. He slipped from the gurney and knelt before me, wiping away my tears with a heartbroken frown. He looked even more guilty than before, and I wanted to kick myself for it. I hadn't wanted to make his guilt worse. I just wanted to tell him how I was feeling.
 
  "Oh, sunshine. I'm so sorry," Lloyd said, his sincerity ladened with regret. "I had no idea how you were feeling."

  "I just wanted to be good for you," I whimpered.

  "You already are!" Lloyd gently insisted. He cradled my cheek with yearning. "God, Y/n, you were perfect the moment I met you."

  My next hiccup was mixed with a flustered laugh. "You mean when I hit you with my skateboard?"

  Lloyd's smile was soft and trembled just so. "It was the best backhand I've ever seen." He paused. "And felt."

  I giggled again. Only he could make me laugh while I was losing myself to my weeping lamentation. I leant into his palm with a weak smile.

  Lloyd's eyebrows sunk into a mournful look. "I struggle with letting people in. I still don't tell my family everything, because it's just easier to let them think I'm okay. I've never really let myself be vulnerable with someone before - you keep helping me further than I've ever been, and it's so new to me. It's scary."

  He dropped his gaze to our entwined hands. "I do trust you. I value you more than anything. It's why I'm frightened." Lloyd's next smile was empty, and I was suddenly reminded of the small boy in the videos, the one without life. "I'm meant to be the perfect saviour, the one person that never puts a foot a wrong, that's always strong and ready to save everyone. When I'm weak or when I make mistakes, everybody gets put in danger."

  His palm fell from my cheek and he squeezed both my hands with his. He looked so small and fearful. I pulled one of my hands free and passed it through his soft hair, a reassuring scratch of his hidden horn nubs. Lloyd's peek up at me was wet-eyed and appreciative.

  "Mistakes like when I thought I'd be stronger if I released the Serpentine. Or when the Overlord targeted me for the Golden Master powers and he almost won." Lloyd glanced at my neck with a despondent look. "Or when I was too weak to stop Morro from hurting you."

  I didn't know he was still upset about that. I brushed my thumb over his horn with a sad frown. "That wasn't your fault."

  "But I still wasn't able to stop him," he said quietly. He sighed and looked away. "I guess I grew up with this idea that if I could pretend I was okay, that if I put on this perfect Green Ninja persona, then I wouldn't make so many mistakes or come across as this easy target. I wanted to be somebody different than who I was because who I was wasn't good enough." He closed his eyes with a grimace. "I was scared that if you really knew how messed up I am, then you wouldn't think I was good enough for you."

  I gaped. Him, think he wasn't good enough for me? After throwing himself in front of Venomari Venom for me? When he was so good and pure? How could he ever think that? I felt his misery tenfold.

  "Oh, hero," I whispered. "I would never think that."

  "I know." Lloyd smiled bittersweetly. "It's like what you said; it's stupid. I know you wouldn't think that. But I still couldn't bring myself to tell you - and I tried so hard, sunshine. I never wanted it to come to this."

  He looked exhausted. I felt exhausted, too, like I could sleep for a thousand years and still not feel rested enough. Somehow, though, I also felt lighter. I hadn't realised how much I'd been weighed down by this all. I stared at his thumb brushing my fingers.

  "I want us to work," I said quietly. "We're good together. I like us."

  Lloyd lifted my hand and kissed it. "I like us, too."

  I spared him a small smile, one which he returned. When he stood and pulled me to my feet, I was caught in a sudden, inescapable hug. My heart jumped into a sprint. Lloyd buried his face into my hair and sighed.

  "I really missed you," he whispered. "I wanted to talk to you all week. I wanted to stop by your place after patrol and sleep through the night beside you. I even started reading your books."

  Careful of his shoulder, I held my arms around his neck and tried not to cry through my chuckle. "Lloyd Garmadon, reading? Now you're just trying to win me over."

  His palm rubbed my spine. It took everything in me not to melt and slip to the ground, turned to goo by his touch alone. His skin was warm and pleasant. He smelt of rivers and pine trees. He felt exactly where I needed to be.

  "Honest," Lloyd mumbled into my neck. "I don't know what half of the words in The Hobbit mean."

  I pulled away and cradled his cheek. His eyes were as red as gemstones and his hair was extra golden and extra curly. His faint blond freckles looked like constellations. Had he grown even more handsome or was I just imagining things?

  When I rose to my toes and pressed a small, gentle kiss to his lips, Lloyd's face went pink. My handsome, imperfect hero.

  "I'll teach you," I promised.

  Lloyd's pleasant shock at the kiss turned happy for a moment, before solidifying into something more firm and serious. He stepped away from the hug and drew his hands down my arms to rest amongst my fingers.

  "Can we have a really long, really overdue chat about me?" he asked.

  I sent him a surprised look. I thought this was it for tonight. "Right now?"

  Lloyd nodded. "Right now. I don't want you to spend another minute hurting because of me."

  I wanted to tell him that I could last another night, that his rest was more important - but then I'd be falling back into the cycle I'd just desperately crawled myself out of. Lloyd looked steadfast. How could I ever say no?

  This wasn't my spoon finally getting through his walls. This was Lloyd opening the impenetrable iron gates and joining me in the world outside his prison.

  My heart was singing. This was everything I'd hoped for; his trust, his openness. Lloyd was finally allowing me to know him. It was so momentous and relieving that I almost burst right back into tears.

  My breath was long and steadying. I nodded. "Yes, please."

  We slowly walked back to his bedroom. I avoided staring at his chest or his back for more than just his wounds (I was still a simple girl). But by the time Lloyd took a seat on the edge of his bed, I was starting to doubt if it was the right time for this chat.

  "We don't have to talk about it tonight," I said, nervous over the state of his health. "I can come back tomorrow. You're still hurt, and you just went through the venom's-"

  Lloyd tugged me to sit down on the mattress beside him. "I want to talk about it now."

  I knew I wouldn't be able to talk him into resting by the sound of his determined voice. It was a relief - and I think he saw that relief on my face. I didn't want to wait another night.

  I pulled my legs up and got comfortable. "Okay."

  Lloyd nodded and chewed on his lip for a short while, trying to find the right place to start. I waited patiently as I held his long, calloused fingers.

  "No more secrets," Lloyd prefaced quietly. He lifted a hand into the air between us and stretched out a pinkie. "Promise."

  My brows knotted and I smiled with endearment. He was just too cute. I linked my pinkie through his and felt better than I had all week just from that alone.

  "Promise," I vowed.

  "Alright." Lloyd inhaled in preparation for a speech he'd probably been practising for months. "I know I freaked you out about my age last week, but I need to explain to you what happened-" He cut himself off in confusion when I lifted my hand into the air. "What- what are you doing?"

  "Sorry. Before you start, I need to tell you something," I meekly said. Lloyd tilted his head. "I know about what happened."

  His brows raised with real surprise. "You do? How?"

  Shit. Did I throw Zane and Pixal under the bus with me? That felt wrong, they only gave me the USB to help. But on the other hand, Lloyd and I just promised that there would be no more secrets between us.

  Sorry, guys. I'd apologise to them later.

  "I was really struggling to understand," I confessed. "I wanted to talk to you, but I was still so hurt and confused, and I just couldn't get past it. Zane had an idea that if I saw the video recordings of you with Borg, I'd be able to understand it better. Pixal gave me the USB stick yesterday." My face burnt with genuine shame at his growing shock. "I- I know, I shouldn't have done it. It was wrong. And- and they were just trying to help-"

  "You saw the tests?" Lloyd was flabbergasted.

  I was so sheepish I was practically made of wool. "... yes."

  He blinked and shook his head. "And you understand now?"

  "The logistics of it, I guess. That Traveller's Tea can skip you forward. That... you were only eleven when you went through it and it aged you up to fifteen. I think seeing it was the only reason why I was able to call you today." I winced at how callous it all sounded - but it was done with the best intentions. "Are you mad?"

  Lloyd ran a hand through his blond hair. "A little surprised," he said honestly. "God. I spent all week freaking out about how to explain it to you and you already know?"

  I couldn't help the single, quiet laugh that escaped me at his bewilderment. "Sorry."

  He sent me another confused look. "And you get it?"

  I slowly nodded with emphasis. Lloyd released a huff of disbelief.

  "Unbelievable. I could've just shown you the fucking videos myself," he muttered to himself. He plastered his hands over his face. "God - that would've been so much easier!"

  My next giggle was imbued with both amusement and relief. Lloyd wasn't mad. Thank god.

  "You know what the saddest part was about that whole thing?" Lloyd said with a strained chuckle. His hands slid down and landed in his lap. "I couldn't mourn my childhood because I didn't even really have one."

  My grin faded. "What do you mean?"

  Lloyd glanced up at me and sighed. "I guess the videos didn't tell you everything."

  I watched him with a frown as he turned toward me and crossed his legs. He was getting comfortable - it must've been a long story. He picked up and carefully squeezed my hand like it was a stress ball.

  "For what it's worth, my earliest memories were pretty good. Not that I have many of them," Lloyd quietly began. "Mum and I would travel a lot for her work - it would take us all over Ninjago - and it was great. We had this minivan that we sometimes lived out of and a small flat in the city. Mum would try homeschool me between her work but she never had much time, and because Dad wasn't around, she didn't have anyone to look after me." He huffed with dry amusement. "Nobody would babysit Lord Garmadon's kid, and she wanted me nowhere near the Elemental Masters. So, Mum put me in boarding school when I was eight."

  "Darkley's," I murmured. Lloyd glumly nodded.

  "She couldn't afford the private boarding schools with the high-end education or decent teachers on her salary alone, so Darkley's was the only option," he explained. "But it was bad there. Everybody was awful and I got awful, too. I was so angry at her. I couldn't understand why her work was taking her all over the world but I had to stay in this boring, terrible school. She'd rarely get a chance to visit. I thought she abandoned me for her job." He huffed and shook his head. "I didn't know she was doing it to save me from becoming the Green Ninja."

  I stared at his hands playing with mine. I remembered Misako telling me her side of what happened, about how much she regretted it, and about how all that work she did proved to be fruitless. Nothing stopped the path of destiny.

  "... what happened, then?" I hesitantly asked.

  "She visited one day. She took me out to that rock with our names on it and she told me who my dad was. I was so mad. I got told all these amazing things about who he was before the Devourer's venom finally got to him, and then I couldn't even meet him because my uncle banished him to the Underworld. I felt like it wasn't fair."

  Because it wasn't. I traced my fingers between his knuckles with a frown.

  "When I was ten, I was chased away from Darkley's by some of the other kids. I didn't bother going back." Lloyd lifted one of his hands and nervously rubbed his cheek. "... that's when I kinda just wandered."

  My eyes shot up to him, appalled. "You were homeless?"

  Lloyd grimaced. "... yeah."

  My mind turned to mush. I could barely comprehend the mere concept of it - little Lloyd, walking around without a home? How did he survive? How awful. My heart ached for him.

  I didn't have much time to ruminate on the severity of it, because he continued to talk.

  "Then I found a map that led to the Serpentine Tombs." Lloyd passed a hand over his eyes with a weak chuckle. "You can imagine what happened."

  "You released them." My smile was bittersweet. How ironic - it were Elemental Masters that trapped them and it was the Elemental Master that released them. Talk about a full circle.

  "Every last one." Lloyd shook his head in exasperation. "I wanted to have minions like my Dad. Of course, that backfired. The school must've gotten into contact with my Mum, because then all of sudden this long lost uncle of mine and his ninja students were trying to find me." His smirk was wry. "I wasn't their easiest job.

  "And then my Dad who didn't even know I existed returned from his banishment, so that was one tense family reunion." Lloyd hung his head and gripped my hands tight. "He apologised for making me look like a monster. Not the best thing to tell the son you'd only just met."

  I sucked in a breath. "Oh, Lloyd."

  He met my sympathetic gaze with a dry smile. "It gets better. Just when we were starting to get along, I found out I was the Green Ninja and I had to fight him. All of a sudden I was doing all this training and being told that the fate of the world rested on me defeating my Dad, which was way too much for me to handle at eleven. I guess Fate realised that, because soon after the Grundle happened. I think that was really when it all set in."

  Lloyd went quiet, hitting another snag in his confidence. I sat in silence for a moment while he struggled. This was already more than I was expecting to be told, and I was starting to gather that it was getting to him.

  "Do you want to take a break?" I quietly asked. "I could do with one, too."

  He nodded. I stood from the bed and held out my hands for him to take. When he placed his palms in mine, I carefully pulled him to his feet. I made sure to be extra cautious for his shoulder.

  "Let's go make some chamomile tea," I suggested.

  Lloyd's smile was grateful. "My favourite."

  I squeezed his hand with care. "I know." I turned to the door and led him out into the hallway. The monastery was empty - everyone must've gone to bed.

  The swelling tension in Lloyd slowly began to dissipate as he went through the motions of brewing chamomile from scratch. I watched him as he walked about the kitchen, his movements confident and precise. How old was he when Wu taught him to first brew a proper cup of tea?

  I asked him that. I wanted to know.

  "Ah." Lloyd grinned at my innocent query. "I think it was just after he found me. I was still a bit of a nuisance, so he'd make me sit silently and watch him brew tea. When I started asking questions, he began to teach me." He clinked a teaspoon against the ceramic rim. "I think that was our first real bonding moment."

  "I should've known your first bonding moment with Wu would be about tea," I said lightly.

  Lloyd snickered. He handed me a cup and blew steam from his own. I took a sip and hummed in delight at the tender taste of calming flowers. Tea fanatic or not, it was clear that Wu taught him well.

  "I guess after I realised that my only real purpose was to be the Green Ninja, I started to lose myself," Lloyd said. I perked up in attention at our resumed conversation, watching him as he stared at the surface of his tea with a frown. "If people didn't like Lloyd Garmadon, then I wouldn't be him. I'd just be the Green Ninja. But the Green Ninja was all serious and no fun, and that wasn't really who I was. I was struggling to find a balance, or find meaning for myself that wasn't tied up in the colour gi I wore. That's when Mum stumbled across us."

  I leant against the bench beside him, mulling over everything I learnt and was still learning.

  "She cried when she saw me. Wu told her about everything, of course, but she was stuck doing some research in this remote village and couldn't come out to see me for months. I was pissed."

  My arm brushed Lloyd's. "I would be, too."

  "It took me a few years to forgive her," he murmured. "Sometimes I still wonder if I've even fully forgiven her. But I could spend so much time hating the world for what it's given me, or I could spend it cherishing what it hasn't taken away. What matters is that she's here, now. My parents - they're not perfect, but they try."

  "They love you," I softly said. I looked up at him with a sad smile. "When... Morro stole you, they were a mess. I don't think Misako slept at all that week. Garm wasn't much better, either. They were so desperate to get you back."

  Lloyd's complicated expression faded into a touched grin. "Their parenting style wasn't the best, but I can't say they don't love me."

  I spun my tea within its cup and watched it form a miniature chamomile-flavoured whirlpool. Lloyd took a sip and exhaled slowly. This was hard for him to talk about and hard for me to hear, but there was an overarching atmosphere of peace between us. We'd braved a storm and came out stronger.

  "When you were in your nightmares, you said something about not wanting to be alone again," I slowly mentioned. "Is it because you felt like you were abandoned?"

  Lloyd blew into his cup and stared at the floor. I followed his gaze.

  "Yeah, probably," he mumbled. "I'm not surprised if I'm a little fucked up because of it." He huffed and shook his head in amazement. "If somebody can live through what I did and come out squeaky clean, I'll eat my shoe."

  Despite everything, I grinned. "What kind of shoe?"

  Lloyd nonchalantly shrugged. "Eh... probably a jandal."

  "Chewy," I noted.

  Silence.

  Lloyd snorted and broke into a laugh. When I caught his gaze, I was overcome with delight. He looked happy. A little incredulous at my sense of humour, as per usual, but happy.

  "This is so much easier than I thought it would be," Lloyd contently admitted. "Thank you for... always being insanely understanding. I don't know how you do it."

  I lifted a shoulder unsurely and set my cup down. "... I don't know, I just... I don't want you to feel upset about anything. Doesn't matter if it's a bad day or you're growing a set of horns. Which are really handsome, by the way." I sent him a pointed glare. He rolled his eyes with a soft smirk. "I love you too much for you to be sad."

  The look Lloyd gave me was so full of affection that it left me a little breathless, and when he placed his cup down to drag me into another hug, I did lose my breath. Lloyd kissed my forehead and then my nose.

  "What good karma did I do to deserve you?" he murmured. I was smitten at the adoration on his face, in the treasured way he held me. "When you said before that you were worried that I didn't love you as much as you love me-" With gentle frustration, Lloyd squeezed me tighter and dug his face into my neck. My heart jumped. "Fuck - I don't think you could ever know how much I love you."

  My flustered reaction didn't last long - I squeaked in surprise when I was lifted from my feet and placed on the counter, but I supposed it was easier for Lloyd, who didn't have to look down to see me face-to-face. He cradled my jaw with loving fury.

  "Don't you ever think that," Lloyd snapped, and he said it so seriously that it almost sounded like a Green Ninja threat - the consequences being a smothering of affection so wicked that I would die of sweetness. "Okay? I want to hear you say that you understand."

  I laughed - shrilly and girly, overflowing with joy and bashfulness. "Okay, okay! You've successfully convinced my subconscious."

  "Good." Lloyd pressed a finger between my brows. "You tell that little bugger our fight isn't over."

  He was so ridiculous. I snickered and nodded. "Message delivered. She's shaking in her boots."

  Lloyd's faux anger slipped back into his genuine grin. "I'm serious, Y/n. I really, really love you."

  Absolutely, totally smitten, I sunk into his palm. I was as giddy as I felt when he gave me the Yang medallion. "I know, hero. I really, really love you, too."

  Lloyd's eyes couldn't turn redder if he tried. When he moved closer to stand between my dangling feet, my breath hitched. I could feel his hot breath cascading down my neck and sending goosebumps along my skin. I knew he could hear every physical reaction I was having, but I didn't mind. Let Lloyd hear my heart race for him.

  I leant forward just slightly, enough to tap my nose against his and elude exactly to what I wanted. Lloyd swallowed. The sight of his Adam's Apple bobbing almost made me faint right then. When I peeked up at his eyes, I found them a molten, darkened ruby.

  My lips felt strangely neglected. Could something be left so undisturbed that it was disturbing?

  "I really want to kiss you, but I'm worried it'll distract me from my story," Lloyd murmured.

  My eyes widened. I couldn't believe it almost slipped my mind. Curse Lloyd and his effortless way to turn me into a romantic fool - he almost got me thinking about nothing but kissing him so much that we'd make up for the week we missed. I pushed him back a bit and frowned at his smirk.

  "Talk quickly," I said, which made his smirk only grow. "What happened then?"

  Lloyd lifted his eyes in search of where we left off. His hands resting at my hips tapped their fingers. My nerves jumped with delight at each one.

  "Ah." He'd found his spot. "After that, my dad summoned the Overlord - because it turns out, my big battle wasn't against Lord Garmadon, it was against the King of Evil who'd tricked my dad and then possessed him." Lloyd sent me a wry stare. "Garmadon's being possessed seems to be a family trait."

  I smiled sympathetically. "Poor Misako. We should check on how her heart's doing."

  Lloyd grinned. He looked down at himself and sighed.
 
  "How okay are you with, um... disturbing stuff?" he unsurely asked.

  My brows furrowed. "What do you mean by that?"

  Lloyd faltered, before tapping the scar on his chest. "I mean about how I got this."

  I stilled. The video of his open scar still made me discomposed, and I'm sure it would for a very, very long time. But it was a part of Lloyd's history. I'd seen him tear into Axon's shoulder and I was fine, sans a few unsettling nightmares.

  "I want to know," I said.

  Lloyd smiled fondly. "Of course you do."

  He had to take a moment to prepare. He finished the rest of his tea and held me by the waist again. His touch may have short-circuited my brain, but I pulled my smoking parts together again so I could listen with my full attention. My sock rubbed against the side of his knee.

  "When the Overlord first possessed my dad, we had a fight on the beach." Lloyd grew a little pale. "Dad tried to fight him off, but the Overlord was too strong. He was too strong for me. He'd turned Dad into this... this thing, this monster, and... he gave me this scar with his claws." His voice quietened. "I thought I'd failed. I thought I was going to die, we all did. For a moment... it was close."

  I was silent. I didn't know what to say. Everything I thought of sounded cheap and useless against something that sounded so scary and horrible. He was so young.

  Lloyd frowned and sent me an apologetic look. "I didn't want to tell you about it, because..."

  I stared at him in confusion for a moment, and then a horrible sense of realisation swarmed through me. Our messed-up prophecy. The fact I was meant to meet Lloyd and the team years before I did. The protective shield my powers could make.

  "Because if I'd been there, you wouldn't have gotten it," I whispered. At his slow nod, my heart shattered. My hand raised to my forehead in bitter shock. "Oh, my god."

  "Don't- don't blame yourself," Lloyd quickly said. "You always blame yourself. This is the one thing I can't let you blame yourself for."

  I was shaken. What if he had died because I wasn't there? What would the world be like? I couldn't imagine a world without Lloyd, it was too awful to think about.

  "Are you okay?" Lloyd turned my head back to face him. He took my shaking hand and held it tight. "Y/n, you're okay. He's gone. I'm here."

  "I wish I was there to stop it," I grieved. "God, you were so young. You must've been so scared."

  Lloyd's face crumpled. His nod made me fall into tears. Realising his mistake, he hurried to placate me.

  "Hey! Hey, it's okay!" Lloyd pressed his forehead to mine and stroked his hand through my hair. "It's okay. I'm not scared, now."

  "I'm gonna bring back the Overlord just so I can kill him myself," I said weepingly. Lloyd laughed at my threat.

  "And I'll be your biggest fan," he said softly. He brushed away my tears with a loving smile. "We're alright. No more tears tonight, sweetheart. I hate seeing you cry."

  I closed my eyes and forced my breathing to slow. Lloyd was here. He was alive. I wouldn't let anything like that happen to him again - I'd train myself to become strong enough to protect him, just like how I was meant to.

  When I found his gaze again, I was a little more settled. The surprise still left me rattled but it also left me determined. Lloyd smiled softly.

  "You good?" he gently asked.

  I tiredly nodded. "I'm good. But I think I need another hug."

  He grinned and drew me into his chest. "Say no more."

  I rested my check against his collarbone and stared at the raised edge of his scar. His hand rubbed up and down my back in a soothing pace, and I felt myself relax into him. I'd missed being held by him.

  "What happened, then?" I whispered.

  "Well... then, we won," Lloyd said. "It was pretty touch-and-go. I was in a rough shape, but the healing tea and Zane's medical knowledge got me on my feet. But I didn't have time to recover. The Overlord had already started his take over, and we needed to save the world from his reign. When we next fought, I found strength in myself that he couldn't beat. And in defeating the Overlord, Dad got his old self back. We could finally be a proper family."

  "Wow..." I couldn't stand looking at his scar anymore, so I closed my eyes. "You're incredible. What was your strength?"

  Lloyd's fingertips drew a design I couldn't make out on my back. "Light."

  Light. Oh, sure! That was so obvious. I shook my head in disbelief.

  "You know, sometimes you make zero sense."

  Lloyd chuckled. "Welcome to my world."

  I smiled. He smelt so familiar and comforting. I was growing sleepy, but I was determined to hear him all the way through. "What happened after that?"

  Lloyd hummed in thought. "After that, there wasn't really much to do. I mean, there was the occasional fight with a street thug, but nothing that really needed a full-time ninja team. So, we enrolled into high school."

  "Exhilarating," I commented. I felt him grin against my hairline. "What was that like?"

  "Going to an actual school? It was terrible. Not only did everyone hate me for being Lord Garmadon's son, but I knew nothing." Lloyd huffed with exasperation. "What do you mean there's letters in maths? I'm glad my powers aren't determined by how good my grades are, because then we'd really be screwed."

  I sleepily giggled. "My D-grade ninja."

  "Hey, I got a C- in my last physics test."

  I pressed a kiss to his collarbone. "Well done." I smiled to myself at the sound of his breath catching. "Were you in the same year as the rest of your team?"

  "Yeah. Just to keep us together, mainly," he answered. "But after the second skirmish with the Overlord, I began to visit Borg for testing. That's when we determined that I was fifteen, so I would've been put in their year, anyway."

  Right. The testing. I'd wanted to ask about that.

  Hold on a minute. I lifted myself from his chest and sent him a baffled look. "Wait, how did you get into high school if your birth certificate said you were eleven?"

  Lloyd titled his head with a pointed smirk. "Well, according the law, I'm actually eighteen-"

  I cut him off with an incredulous groan. "Pick an age!"

  Lloyd laughed loudly at my reaction, as if it were the funniest thing I'd ever said. Maybe his relief that we could joke about it made it even funnier.

  "Elemental Masters have been creating forged documents to escape the public's notice for centuries," he amusedly explained. He tucked a lock of my hair back. "Changing the year on my birth certificate was simple."

  I pursed my lips and hummed. "Alright. So, why did you start going to see Borg?"

  "After he gave us some new gear and we rescued him from the Overlord, I made a deal with him," Lloyd answered. "He could test on me - both about my powers and the age stuff - if he funded the Secret Ninja Force. Things were pretty dire in terms of money for us at the time."

  "Why would you ever let someone test on you?" I asked.

  Lloyd shrugged. "It was mutually beneficial."

  He was way too casual about being treated like a lab rat. "Does it ever... hurt?"

  "What?" He sent me a confused look, before he realised what I was implying. He snorted at my, apparently, unnecessary worry. "No! No, he's not cutting me up like some science experiment. We just test out the limits of my powers and keep track of how it affects my body." Lloyd gave me a reassuring smile. "It's actually been really useful. You can come along to the next one, if you want."

  That was a relief. Still, I wasn't sure if I was happy with it or not. "... okay," I cautiously agreed.

  "I should teach Pix a thing or two about patient confidentiality while I'm there," Lloyd said with thought.

  My eyes widened as he nonchalantly began to tidy away our tea cups. "Please, don't."

  Lloyd's thoughtful expression dropped into a grin of humour. "I'm only kidding."

  I glared at him. "Funny."

  "I know, I'm hilarious." Lloyd pulled me off of the counter and set me back onto my feet. "It's late. Are you..?"

  "Oh." Jesus, did I even tell Mum that I was here? What time was it? I didn't want to leave yet - there were still things I needed to tell him. "Can I stay?" 

  "You don't need to ask permission," Lloyd said with warmth. "Let's stop by the med bay first. I think I need some more stuff for my shoulder."

  I nodded. Lloyd comfortably entwined his hand through mine and walked us out into the hallway. It was a cloudless night with a waxing moon so bright that silver leaked through the wall-length windows. After I flicked my mum a text, I found myself still hungry for knowledge.

  "What happened after that?" I prompted.

  Lloyd grinned at my repetitive question. "After meeting Borg, things got quiet again. It was maybe a year and a half until Skylor's dad started causing issues, and that turned out to be another big fight. That was about eight months before we met." Lloyd sent me a weak smile. "I think that's everything."

  We stopped in the medical bay. It stank of bleach and the tanginess of products, both herbal and manufactured. I picked up the container of ointment that Zane had used prior and turned to Lloyd, who'd taken a seat on the edge of the gurney. I kissed the nape of his neck in appreciation. The tips of his pointed ears went red.

  "Thank you for telling me," I said gratefully, my voice soft and warm with care. "I know it must've been hard."

  Lloyd turned to look over his shoulder with a sad smile. "It's the least you deserve. How are you feeling?"

  I paused to consider that. How did I feel? It was always a small victory whenever I got an answer to a question, and Lloyd had just handed me all the answers I'd wanted from him on a silver platter. I no longer felt that small nugget of uncertainty.

  "Clearer," I answered. "What about you?"

  Lloyd released a heavy sigh. He sounded tired and full of relief. "Lighter."

  I smiled faintly. I couldn't imagine how long he'd been carrying all those secrets for, nor could I imagine how it felt to be rid of the burden of keeping them. 

  Now, it was my turn.

  "Um..." I stared at the container as I unscrewed the lid and placed it on the gurney beside Lloyd. He flinched when I carefully began wiping the white cream over his burn. "Sorry. Uh, since we're being all truthful tonight, I have some things I need to tell you, too."

  Lloyd tilted his head with intrigue. "You do?"

  I glanced up at his blond curls and wished he was facing me so I could gauge his reactions. Maybe it was better I couldn't see them; I wouldn't be able to chicken out if I saw something I didn't like.

  "Yeah," I murmured. "They're... okay, so two of them..." I squinted my eyes shut. Why were words suddenly so difficult? How did he do this so eloquently?

  "It's okay," Lloyd soothed. He reached back around him and patted my hip in support. "Uncomplicate it. Just start with one."

  I forced the tension from my shoulders and took a moment. Which one to begin with? I guess the least scariest secret would be the appropriate one to start us off.

  "I want to get into Borg Tech." I bit my lip before releasing it with an exhale. "It's in Nom."

  Lloyd paused. "Oh."

  "I- I didn't tell you because honestly the chance of me getting in is next to zero," I said quickly. I stepped back from the gurney when I was done and hurriedly washed my hands. He turned around to watch me. "I need to get a scholarship for that, and while my grades are good - it's like a one in a million chance. I didn't want to stress you out or anything because I know how far away it is, but god, I really want to go." I wiped my hands dry and groaned. "It's got such an amazing archeology course - seriously, it's the best in all in Ninjago. I have to go there."

  Lloyd began to smile at my ramble. "That sounds great, sunshine. It's good to have goals."

  I sent him a torn look. "But it's so far away from you."

  "We'll make it work," Lloyd reassured. He took my hands in his when I dragged my feet back toward him. "I'll miss you, obviously. Long distance will be hard, but I've got a magic dragon that can travel at Mach-5 and you're too smart to not go for the best college in Ninjago."

  "I wish you could come with me," I mumbled.

  "College isn't really my style," Lloyd said sweetly. "I'm needed here."

  I wasn't even accepted and I was already missing him. "I need you."

  "I'll visit every weekend I can," he softly vowed. "And we can call every night. It won't be forever."

  I deflated until I rested my head on his shoulder. It wasn't fair. Why couldn't I just put Lloyd in my pocket and bring him along? But that wasn't fair, nor was it our reality. I worked too hard to give up on my dream and the city would likely implode without Lloyd.

  "You're tired," Lloyd whispered. He brushed a hand over my head with affection. "We should think about heading to bed."

  I made a sound of protest. "I still have more to tell you."

  "You can tell me on the way."

  Reluctantly, I allowed him to lead the way back to his bedroom. I watched his hand in mine as I began my next little speech.

  "This isn't my secret," I prefaced, "but I think you deserve to know, because it's about you - and you definitely should know since you recently got your wind powers." I inhaled deeply and hoped that I wouldn't get in trouble. "Wu and your parents think you're going to be the next Spinjitsu Master."

  Lloyd's walk slowed. I glanced up at his face in worry, but instead of shock, he just look resigned.

  "You know, I'm getting really tired of collecting titles like they're Pokémon," he confessed.

  I chuckled at his mundane allegory for his super-not-mundane life. "Sorry, hero."

  Lloyd lifted his hand and inspected it. "Spinjitsu Master, huh? Me getting Morro's powers make a lot more sense, now."

  "You're surprisingly calm for someone that just got told they're going to be the next God."

  Lloyd opened the door to his bedroom and let me in first. It was still uncharacteristically messy and I had to pick my way over strewn clothes and gis and the odd Starfarer comic. I took a seat on the edge of his bed and watched his thoughtful face with concern.

  "I mean... I'm immortal and I'm the Green Ninja," Lloyd said without enthusiasm. He shut the door and stood before me with his arms crossed. "I'm pretty much halfway there already."

  Maybe he was incapable of being shocked by destiny anymore. I knew I was starting to grow numb to it.

  "Are you okay?" I carefully asked.

  "Yeah." Lloyd lifted his weary gaze to the ceiling and sighed. "I know I'll be fine as long as I have you by my side."

  I flushed with contentment at his words; and that was the perfect segue to my next and final secret.

  "Actually... I want to talk about that," I said nervously. My hands starting fidgeting again, twisting my fingers between themselves. "About our future."

  Lloyd's gaze dropped from the ceiling to me with intrigue. Noticing my tension, he took a seat beside me and smoothened out my hands between his own. I drew in a shaky breath.

  Lloyd was good with kids, right? He was sweet and gentle with Raptra, and there were thousands of photos of the Green Ninja posing with his youngest fans online. But those weren't his kid. I had no clue how he'd react to what I saw in our future.

  I mean, Jesus - it wasn't as if I was pregnant now. But still... what if he was angry? What if he didn't want to pass down the Garmadon curse of being hated and a pawn to fate?

  But what if he was like me? Terrified of the prospect of this far-off parenthood, absolutely, but also excited? Reassured that, somehow, we managed to find a little bit of peace in the mayhem of this world? It certainly reassured me when I was fighting to get him back from Morro.

  It was his future, too. Lloyd deserved to know.

  I inhaled deeply and held it for a beat. "Did you... when you were in the maze at Uchū's tomb, did you see your reflection?"

  Lloyd paused for a beat, blindsided by the direction I went. He shook his head.

  "Morro tried, but it was like the maze was confused by us," he answered, voice touched by confusion. "It couldn't decide whose future to show, so it was just a muddle."

  My nerves rose. There goes that brief blip of hope. "Oh..."

  Lloyd's curiosity grew. He tried to catch my gaze, but I was watching him rub my hands as if they were the most fascinating thing. He gave up when I refused to meet him.

  "What is it? Did you see yours?" Lloyd hesitated. "Was it bad?"

  "No, it... it was good. It was really good." I still couldn't look him in the face. He leant in closer, his curiosity potent. My cheeks burnt hot but not because of his bare chest. "Um... we get married."

  Lloyd's ministrations stopped. "We do?" He sounded a little shy.

  I silently nodded. My heart was pounding, I could hear it drumming away in my ears. I'm pretty sure my hands were starting to sweat. What a bomb to drop on him after the week we just had.

  He began to quietly chuckle. I finally glanced up at him.

  "What?" I asked.

  "Dad's always one step ahead of us," Lloyd said with a roll of his eyes. "He's already referred to you as his daughter-in-law."

  I almost perished from how all the blood went straight to my head. "Seriously?"

  Lloyd shrugged. "I told you my family loved you from the start."

  I stared at him in shock. Now that I was finally looking at him, I noticed that there was an extra shine of joy to his red eyes and a certain giddiness to his smile. Maybe he'd been thinking about it when he gave me the yang medallion. It was practically a pre-proposal.

  "Oh," I was still stuck on the whole 'daughter-in-law' thing. Hearing that Garmadon called me that was so sweet, I was lost for words. My chest felt all soft and cosy. "That's... that's really nice."

  Lloyd grinned at my stunned expression. "He's just excited. A little too excited, sometimes." His humour faded at the complicated look on my face. "Is there something else?"

  Okay. Here goes. I blew air through pursed lips and clasped Lloyd's hand tight. I'm pretty sure my palms were growing sweaty, but he didn't make any indication of it. Still - I pounced to my feet and wrung my wrists to rid myself of my excess energy.

  "Yeah," I said, my voice small with nerves. "I... I wanted to tell you when I first saw it, but you were still recovering after Morro and Nya said that it'd be better to wait until you were okay, but then things just kept happening and I couldn't find a time that felt right to tell you - and honestly, this still doesn't feel right, but I'm not even sure if there ever will be a right time, because it's huge, and I'm not ready for that and I don't even know if you're ready to even hear about it, and-"

  "Y/n." Lloyd's gentle, amused call of my name made my words halt behind my teeth. I sent him a deer-in-the-headlights look and was met with his reassuring smile. "You're rambling again."

  I blinked. "Right. Yeah. Sorry." I began to pace the room. Why was I more nervous for this than my exams? "It's just - it's a lot, and when I learnt about it I freaked out, so I don't want-"

  "Y/n," he reminded.

  I spun around to face him. "There was a girl."

  Lloyd stared at me blankly. When he tilted his head and frowned a little, I came to the horrible conclusion that I needed to elaborate.

  "A girl," I repeated. "You know... a little girl."

  Lloyd's eyes squinted, still needing clarification. This was driving me insane. Why couldn't he just read my mind, and why was I having such an issue talking? I groaned.

  "A girl, Lloyd - our girl!"

  There was a sudden sharpness of realisation in his face. "You mean a daughter? We'll have a daughter?"

  "Yes!" I exclaimed, before reeling myself back in and watching him nervously. "I- I was afraid to say it."

  Lloyd's gaze dropped and searched the carpet with such intensity that it made me anxious. I gave him a minute to ruminate before I had to ask what was spinning behind his eyes. What was he thinking? Did he hate it?

  "... are you okay? Are you freaking out?" I hesitantly asked. "Because I totally freaked out."

  He sent me a shocked look. "Are you sure?"

  "I mean, I don't know how many other people have red eyes, so it's pretty telling that she was ours," I said shrilly.

  Lloyd's next question was spoken so softly that I almost didn't hear it. "She had red eyes?"

  I tangled my fingers together. Silent, I nodded.

  He stood to join me, his waning frown still laced with disbelief. I couldn't read him - was he excited? Was he upset? Did he even know what he was feeling?

  I straightened when Lloyd took my face into his cupped palms. His eyes didn't waver or drift. They were glued on mine, as if he could read the answers in the colours of my pupils, as if he could see her through me.

  "Did she look happy?" Lloyd whispered.

  It took a second for his question to register in my scrambled mind. I nodded. "We all did."

  Lloyd sighed out all the breath he must've been holding. I could finally release my own, because he began to smile with this choked-up, pink-cheeked expression that settled all of my fears instantly. This was a look anybody could read.

  My heart jumped when he first kissed me - something short but hardly lacking in sweetness, a thankful, relieved token that made me stretch up toward him. My fingers caught the fold of his arm and held there.

  I was already dazed when he broke away, but the look Lloyd gave me was one so full of adoration that I only spaced out further. I could live in this blissful haze he gave me. It was so content between his selfless hands, so lovely.

  His second kiss stole my breath right from my lips. My entire being lurched without moving, invigorated by the way he kissed me with such delicate, pure devotion. It destroyed me. He dizzied me. Lloyd always made me feel so wanted and cherished.

  I almost felt like crying again - but this time for good reason, as my relief and love was so potent and fulling that it poured right out of me. I had so much of it that it overflowed.

  "I'm guessing you're not upset," I said breathlessly.

  "No," Lloyd laughed. He kissed me again and my mind went spiralling right back into the perfect blankness that his kisses always gave me. He touched his forehead to mine. "No, I'm not upset. I want to hear everything about her."

  Forever in awe of the golden haired hero before me, I smiled.