Yoongi's POV

I find a strange sense of comfort in drawing random shapes on Y/N's hand as she sleeps on the couch between Jungkook and I, his own fingers running through her hair and massaging her scalp in a way that would make her eyes roll back were they open.

This feels as natural as breathing, and I like that I'm finding a place in this scene without having to feel like I don't belong.

After San left for work - not without assuring us that the building was safe and that we didn't need to worry about anything - Jungkook took Y/N to the living room and then put a soft cushion under her head before telling her to sleep, and just like that, she was gone.

It's been two hours since then, and we haven't tired at all from looking at her sleep. She looks vulnerable and it pleases my instincts deeply. I should feel ashamed of feeling this way, really, but seeing the same sense of satisfaction from Jungkook helps me to accept that this is normal.

She is my mate after all, but since this is all so new for me, I have yet to know what is acceptable and what stands on a thin line in a relationship. I don't want to do anything that would make her uncomfortable, so Jungkook is currently a good model for me since he's known her for longer.

If he does it and she's fine with it, then most likely she will be fine with me doing the same. If not... I'll have to hope that she will tell me, but I don't believe she would lie to me about something like that.

Last night... I did feel bad at the prospect of taking her bed and forcing her to sleep in the living room, I truly want to believe that I would've been fine if she'd slept with us, but I also feel immensely grateful that she insisted to leave me my space anyway.

She could've agreed when I told her to stay, she could've gone along with it, but instead saw through me so clearly. She noticed that I was forcing myself out of my comfort zone, and instead of pushing me further out of it, she drew a warm blanket over me, kissed my forehead, then left the bedroom.

I'm grateful to Jungkook too, who kept to his side of the bed for the entire night without ever making me feel like he wanted or needed more from me. His presence was comforting and soothed me into sleep, rather than making me nervous.

So many times, on mornings that followed the insane parties that would happen at the house, I've woken up with strangers in my bed while I was already in it. There was no personal space or respect to be had from them as they took my room, my bed, for granted, as if their own.

Getting back home after work to a room that reeks of sex, to soiled blankets and pillows that were literally all I had, was probably the worst thing for me to experience.

I hated everything about living there, I hated that I was treated like a literal dog by the students who'd stare at me like I was a plaything to keep themselves busy when they'd be bored. In their eyes, it was funny to take my things and leave me with nothing, my reactions entertained them.

Having a space of my own, being respected, both at home and at work, that wasn't part of my reality, and I came to not expect more from this life after a while. How could I, when this world isn't even made for people like me?

I felt I should be thankful for the simple reason that I had a roof over my head, which was honestly hard to find. When you get every doors closed in your face one after the other, when the excuses you hear all have to do with your being a hybrid, fairness becomes a stranger to your reality.

But Y/N is different.

She doesn't seem to expect anything from me, instead actively supporting my boundaries even when I'm first to ignore them. She went inside that house for me, dealt with what I know must have been a shameful display of humanity, then took me in with a warm smile and a promise of safety.

She promised me a room of my own, even if she needs to get rid of her home office to do so. She's willing to modify her own personal space so that it can fit me in, and no one has ever done that for me before.

"You know, I don't think I've ever seen Y/N fall asleep before. I have taken naps by her side at my parents' house when it was still just the two of us, and she'd watch over me every single times. But it's the first time that I get to do this for her".

I look away from her peaceful face to find Jungkook staring at me, and the regret that I see in his eyes touches my heart.

"She always takes care of everyone around her, but never lets anyone else do the same for her. It's different with San, though, I could see it this morning. When he learned that she pulled an all-nighter, she looked like a child caught doing something bad, and when he told her to rest instead of going to work, she just... accepted it".

He lowers his gaze back to her with a softness that pulls on my soul.

"I never met her parents, and while I could to some degree imagine why, I never tried to push her into telling me what they were like. They could not like hybrids, but did they ever get mad at her because of us? Did they ever bully her because she wanted to accept the bond? It hadn't even crossed my mind that it could happen. She always looked so happy".

"You were just a child back then" I reply, but he simply shakes his head.

"She remained quiet about an abuse that broke her a little more each day, all because she didn't want us to worry about her. I'd notice sometimes that she seemed more tired than usual, or that she'd hug me for longer without any apparent reasons. Her frail arms would close around me with all of her strength, her breath would shake a little, and I'd hug back while knowing in the back of my mind that something was wrong. But I never pushed for answers when she'd shrug it off".

I remain silent, not knowing what to say to that. I understand why he'd feel like part of what happened to her was his fault, but I also know that it wasn't.

Y/N made her own decisions back then, she chose what she thought was the best for everyone. No one could know that rejecting the bond would occur out of such decisions. When their lives were pulled into the picture, she was forced to make more decisions, which all led to today.

"After she left that day, we went to her home, to the mansion. It was dilapidated, Yoongi. I'd never seen anything like it in our neighbourhood before, it was..." he shakes his head at the memory.

"We went inside to try and understand why she'd suddenly leave us, and we saw signs of abuse everywhere. I only understood what some of them were later on, when I read her diary. The blood in her bedroom, or the bumps and scratches on the walls. Her parents were monsters and she hid everything from us because she preferred to see us smile and be happy".

I let my thumb trail over the old, faint scars on her arm. They look like hundreds of tiny shards were forced into her skin multiple times. It doesn't really show from a distance, but when you pay attention, they are there, as real as the pull of the bond between us.

"I don't even know why I'm saying all this right now... it happened so long ago" he murmurs with a frown, but the pain in his eyes, that's real too, as real as the pull of the bond between him and I.

"The past scarred you" I let out softly, heart breaking in half when he pinches his lips tightly as tears rise to the surface.

"I don't want to speak like the others weren't affected by those events too, but I was always with her. I was always by her side, I always answered her calls, always joined her outside when she'd ask to meet. I'd always hug her and smile when she'd pet my head, but to me, those were happy moments while to her, they were moments of comfort after being pushed into the wall by her dad".

So he feels responsible for everything, is what he's saying. Does he feel like the past would have been a lot more different for everyone if only he'd seen a truth that she worked that much harder to hide?

"You might not have known about the abuse, but you never failed her, Jungkook. Without ever asking why, you always gave her the comfort that she sought when she'd call for you, always hugged her like I'm sure she needed the most.

"You were there for her, without fail. Being by your side was all she wanted and needed, and she allowed herself those moments because you proved that she could depend on you for those things. You gave her the strength to keep going".

He takes in a deep breath as his tears begin to fall like tiny waterfalls, he'd never thought to see things from another perspective. He only ever focused on the pain that he didn't see, and never on the love and comfort that he did provide her.

Jungkook was always there for her, always ready to love her, which is all she felt she could ask for. Had he not been there for her, she would have suffered so much more.

"I... I think I needed to hear that, Yoongi, seriously. Thank you".

I smile at him, and he smiles back despite the wetness still coating his cheeks, or the light puffiness of his eyes. Is it wrong of me to find him pretty like this? I don't know anymore, but what I do know is that I hate how life has forced us through so much trauma, each and every one of us.

I feel like we've all suffered so much, each in our different ways, and it sucks. Why couldn't we be happy?

With that reflection in mind, Jungkook and I remain silent as we continue giving and seeking comfort from holding Y/N close, her hand still held by me, while he softly caresses her cheeks and lips with a finger, as if revering each curves of her face.

I want to build a happier future for my mates, and I will do everything in my power to make it happen.

I will not let this world break us down anymore.

---

"If you look at four o'clock, there's a man dressed in black with blue sneakers. He's trying to look like he's here to buy something, but he's been following us for the last fifteen minutes now. Don't look at him, look around like you're trying to see what else we're missing, that's how he keeps an eye on us".

Following San's directives, I let my gaze wander the aisles surrounding us to find the man he mentioned, and I get what he meant by this, his eyes do fall on our group whenever he looks around him.

Jungkook is doing the same from where he's keeping Y/N company as she looks at the towels, his panther hearing allowing him to follow San's instructions without letting her know of what's going on.

She's been happily walking throughout the mall looking for more things to buy, and we don't want to ruin that for her.

"He's staying far because he knows there's no way he can reach her with us by her side, but he's staying around in case of an opening. Should she flee our grasp for even one minute, he will get closer while keeping us in check".

I nod, then smile at Y/N when she holds up two different towels of the same brand in my direction. She tilts her head in a silent question, and after observing both, I point at the left one, the one that's all black and soft looking.

She nods, grabs three more of the same colour, then puts them in the cart before resuming her walk with Jungkook glued to her side. San and I follow after them, far enough that she won't hear what we're saying, but not too far that it looks like we're two separate groups.

"I would never have guessed that he's been watching us" I say lowly, and he makes a sound as he keeps up with a regular scanning of our surroundings.

"With practice, you learn to notice them faster, even the more practiced stalkers. They never grab anything, even though they stare very intently at whatever's in front of them, their hands are always empty in case that they need to grab something - or someone - quickly".

That makes sense, and I make sure to take mental notes of everything he says.

"If you suspect that you're being followed and aren't sure yet, lead the way and take Y/N to random shops every five minutes, she'll understand and go along without you needing to say anything. See who follows you, whose behaviour turns strange when she goes out of their sight, but never let her out of yours".

Jungkook smiles when Y/N shows him a plushie that looks like his animal, a black panther, then kisses the top of her head, which has her cheeks blushing a candy pink. They look cute together, and it's easy to see how healing this is to the both of them.

We came to the mall to buy me what I need, but really, this feels more like their date while San and I follow behind. I don't mind though, I like what I'm seeing, and I'd much rather make use of this opportunity to learn more on how to keep her safe.

It will be my job after all, San confirmed it earlier.

"There, here's another one who looks suspicious. He's got a bag, and it looks filled, but the way it moves and flows as he walks states that it's empty. That means he's ready to drop it at any time. He looks nervous too, so this is probably his first task, which means he's more likely to try something reckless. When that happens, always put yourself between them and Y/N, that way, they need to think of a way to go around you and most likely don't know how to do that yet".

Jungkook makes sure to switch places with Y/N when he spots the random young man walking nearby, and we see as he bites on his bottom lip before going in another direction, fingers clenching on his bag.

I'm honestly very glad that San insisted to come with us for this outing, because I never would've noticed any of these people. There's no way that we could have kept her safe had we been on our own.

"He looked pretty young" I comment as we progress in the shop at a slow pace, none of us are in a hurry to get to anywhere and it's nice, I like that it's calm and peaceful. Well, besides the potential danger.

San's lips purse lightly as he glances at me.

"Kids like that get recruited all the time. They're picked off the streets and promised a better life, as long as they complete their tasks. They rarely succeed though, and they either survive to see another day, or they don't. Hae-in used to give them to his pets, and a couple of hours later, I'd go in there to pick up the bones".

A wave of disgust floods through me, but I push it down just as fast. That's horrible, and sad. I feel like that could've been my fate too, had I not worked so hard to try and make something out of me that I could be proud of.

"Okay, we have everything we needed from this shop" Y/N chirps as she takes in all the stuff in the cart. There are towels, pillows, blankets, slippers, decorative cushions, candles, hand soap, body soap, shampoo and conditioner, an electric toothbrush and even a bathroom robe, among other things.

So many things that she insisted I would need, and there was no stopping her no matter what I said.

'You need to be settled properly, Yoongi' she'd said. 'What I have, you will have too'.

However, my question is: how are we going to carry that around when we're not even done shopping yet?

"We're going to ask them to ship everything to our place" San answers my silent question with a light smile curling the corner of his lips upward. "Security will take over once they reach the shipments-only driveway, and they'll leave everything in front of our door for us".

I hum as we begin to make our way towards the exit to pay for everything. "What about the elevator? Isn't it too easily accessible?".

A shake of the head.

"It doesn't show, but the buttons scan for fingerprints and body heat while a hidden camera scans your face. If you try to access a floor when you weren't given permission firsthand, it takes you to the security floor. There, you'll be asked questions about the reason of your presence, and if you state that you're there to see someone, they'll call to make sure that it's true. We'll have to take you there later to scan you and Jungkook, just in case. We'll do the others when they come over".

Wow, that's... good, in a way, but also intimidating. That explains why Y/N held me back earlier when I tried to press on the button to reach the parking lot.

I keep my eyes off the exorbitant price once at the cash register, and I make sure to thank her at least ten times as we make our way to another shop, all while she laughs and pats my shoulder to assure me that it's all good.

"I wanted to keep the best for last, because I don't know how long we'll be there for" she muses as we reach what appears to be a high end fashion store for hybrids, which I would never in all of my life have dared to enter before now.

"It's where we get San's clothes, so I'm sure you'll find everything you need here. You too, Jungkook, let's find you a couple of outfits, and for Taehyung too. You know his size, don't you?".

Our panther's eyes light up as he nods his head, suddenly excited as he jumps on his feet like a kid.

"I'll have to take the others shopping too once we find an occasion" she muses with delight melted into every words she speaks, It shows both on her face and in the way she holds herself that this is what she loves doing the most - spoiling her mates, and I come to wonder if this is her way of apologizing as well.

And thus begins a shopping that isn't usually of my favourite kind, but is actually enjoyable for once. She shows us everything that catches her eyes, and they're almost all added to the cart that San pushes along while I'm pulled with Jungkook by her warm hands to have a look at the many clothes.

I even find myself laughing as she puts a frog hat on Jungkook's head before putting a sheep one on mine, whereas she ends up with a bunny hat, graciously found by San who's also wearing one of a chick, which couldn't be any further from his persona.

Still, he smiles at her like she's all he can see, and this becomes a memorable moment for me, who's never once experienced something like this before.

Eventually, San states that it's enough when the cart begins to overflow with clothes, and she pouts a little before nodding her head, after which we walk to the cabins where there's also a comfortable seating area for those waiting.

I don't think someone has ever been as excited to buy me things as Y/N is, and seeing the pile of clothes that I need to try on has me silently sighing in exasperation while Jungkook giggles happily, more than happy to try them on if that pleases her.

San sends me off with a light smile of understanding, and I immediately see in his eyes that he's gone through this too many times with her too.

The curtains close, and I find the willpower to get started with this task at hand by telling myself that I'll get to see her smiles whenever I walk out in a new outfit. Hopefully this day can remain one that she can look back to fondly for a long time.