Katniss

A few months later

I walk across my kitchen floor, careful of my ever growing stomach. I'm nearing the end of my second trimester. The baby tries constantly to get my attention by kicking at my ribs. It sometimes hits an organ, like kidney, and I have to grasp at something to calm down. I don't like it. It isn't something that makes me feel special and motherly. It just gives me fear of the impending birth of this child and everything that comes with it.

I can't care for a baby. I'm not nurturing. I passed all the classes and raised the mechanical child they assigned my last month of school, but I just did the bare minimum.

I gasp as the baby hits my diaphram, setting off my breathing. I hold my chest and lean against the doorframe as I catch my breath.

"I swear this child wants me dead," I mumble and Peeta gets up and walks over to me from the table.

"You okay?" He asks and I nod and just kind of walk past him.

"The baby just surprised me, thats all," I say walking towards the living room. Peeta follows me, watching for any falter in my step.

"I'm sorry its so unpleasent for you," he says as I sit down and I shake my head.

"It isn't your fault," I reply. "Most people would enjoy the little kicks and the thought of making a life. And I guess part of me does feel good about having a child. There is just so much that I can't control and help keep this kid safe." I reach for my knitting and start to continue the work on the soft blue blanket I had been working on. As much as this dread this child, I do want to care for it.

"That's a nice color," Peeta says after watching me a while. He reaches out to touch the soft stitching of the pale blue green colored blanket.

"Well, I seeing as I don't know what it is, I am not gonna make it pink. But I think a girl would be fine in a blue," I say. "Just because I didn't want a baby doesn't mean I'm heartless. I do want to keep it warm and safe." Peeta sits back in the chair and looks at me.

"No one ever said you were," he says. "Despite what you may think, I believe you will make a very good mother." I smile at him and something catches my eye behind him.

"Its snowing," I say and he glances at the window behind him.

"It is late December, Katniss," he says. "It often snows around Christmas time." I sit up and look over at him.

"Surely it isn't Christmas already," I say. Peeta nods.

"Tomorrow is Christmas Eve," he says. "I thought you knew." I get up and staighten my skirt.

"Well I didn't," I say. "I haven't prepared at all. No wreaths, no decorations. What are people to think of me?" Peeta rolls his eyes.

"You are 7 months pregnant," he says. "You should be taking it easy. People will think you haven't decorated because you are not feeling well." I just walk to the window and sigh.

"Its true," I say. "I haven't felt my best. But I don't want people to think less of you because of it, Peeta." He stands and pulls me to him.

"Katniss, I do not care what others may think of me," He says. "You are my wife and my partner in this life. Your's is the only opinion or voice I will ever care to hear upon whether I am a good and honerable man. I wish you permit the same opinion of me." I nod.

"I do," I say. "I have learned first hand from living with you these past months that you are everything I could have hoped for in this system of betrothal. I believe you to be a good man Peeta Mellark, raised in a very evil world." He smiles and tips my chin up to look at him.

"So let them say I am not a proper man because I do not force you to keep a diamond of a house so late in your pregnancy. What you say to me is all I will ever care about," he kisses my forehead and I look down at my round belly as he gently touches it. The baby squirms beneath his fingers.

"I guess baby like you too," I say and he smiles at me. "It moves whenever you touch me." Peeta nods and looks at me.

"I'm very happy you both are so healthy," he says. "I hope that it stays that way for the rest of this hard time for you." I close my eyes a moment and then look back out the window again, watching the beautiful white crystals cover and clean the blackened streets and ash cover houses.

"I wish I could be happy," I say. "I want you to not have to feel bad about being excited about the fact that I am carrying your baby. I don't want this to be a hard time for me, but it is so hard to know that this baby was not only not my choice but also not created out of love. We didn't choose to make this baby because we love each other. I just find this whole thing still so hard to accept as fact." I feel Peeta's hand on my arm and I look to him.

"I know, Katniss," he says. "I understand. But tell you what. How about for Christmas we just have your family over tomorrow and we just exchange small gifts here on Christmas Day. That way we can just have a quiet day together, away from the public." I nod, liking the idea of just being with him alone for a full day with out him having to leave me for a long extended period.

"I'd like that," I say hugging him.

"Okay," Peeta says. "I'll go call them up." I watch him go with a little flutter in my chest, enjoying his kindness towards me. I am happy to have him with me. Because even in this wretched world, he keeps me feeling as though everything will be alright.

Smiling, I walk up the stairs, looking for something to scrounge into a suitible present for my dear husband and friend.