A/N: When I first pictured the aftermath a long time ago, I sincerely did not think it would be this sad.

**
You are not alone. I've been here the whole time...
-Ruelle & Fleurie.

**

“My wish has always been to die in battle.”

A gasp. “Kieran! I thought I told you not to jinx us!”

A laugh; deep, genuinely merry and amused. “I am merely expressing my wishes to you, Elena.”

“Death is not a subject to speak so lightly of.”

“Perhaps not. But even in death, I must keep my pride. Mighty soldiers do not want boring deaths. We want our deaths to not be in vain, so that whoever we leave behind sees us as heroes. Remembers us as legends, actually.”

“You wish to die fighting for your kingdom, then?”

“No.” A pause. “Fighting for my family. Above anything else, I would reach whatever lengths to keep and uphold my family’s honor. It is a goal I am yet to achieve.”

Only until recently had Elena really understood those words. She could tell Kieran had some sort of goal, but he always evaded discussing it.

Commander Reece was still alive, and the battle raged on. Kieran had not accomplished his goal.

The outside was dark with heavy rain, and Elena stood at Rivera manor’s back entrance as she watched the drops pelt the trees, the grass, the surface of the pond. She stepped forward and her bare feet gathered the coldness of the wet grass.

It had been so long since she’d felt the rain, and it easily soaked her up – her hair and dress, easing past the fabric and sliding against her skin.

“But do you want to know something else, Elena?”

“Mm?”

“There is something that can push me to avoid death at all costs, even where it seems definite – inevitable.”

“And what is that?”

“You.” A half-smile. “I want to get married to you, and I want to see what our children would look like, what they will be like. Will they have your eyes or mine? Will they be as sweet as you or will they be daring and provocative?”

“Well, whatever the case may be, your ears will definitely be passed down to them.”

Another laugh; merrier than the last.

Elena burst into tears. The concept of a future that could never be burrowed a hole inside her heart.

“You must promise me then, Kieran. You must avoid death for my sake, and your children’s sake.”

“I promise.”

More tears spilled; these ones an embodiment of a broken promise.

“Elena!” It was Mara’s voice that called out to her, and it was accompanied by a gentle touch of her shoulder.

Elena turned around and saw the distraught look on her sister’s face, much like her own.

“You’ll get sick!” Mara yelled above the rain. Her black hair matted and stuck to her face, but she made no move to brush it away, just like how Elena made no move to leave from her position.

Mara’s nose as well as eyes, much like Elena’s, were puffy and red, and Elena could differentiate the tears on her sister’s face from the rain. Elena’s grief was her sister’s as well. Nothing could change that.

So instead of forcing her out of the rain, Mara pulled her into a hug and the both of them accepted the pelting rain.

*****

The kingdom could not ignore the ongoing crisis and as such, The Crown decided that the Spring Festival would not be celebrated.

For several weeks, Elena was out of it. She visited Hammedatha Manor once in a while, and Maruja came to see her more times than she thought necessary. They had grown even closer in the past months, and had formed a bond of friendship.

Consequently, Maruja could not keep watching her friend wallow in despair for so long; she wanted to help Elena cope in any way she could. She thus prescribed for her an herbal tea, meant to calm and relax oneself, as well as raise one’s spirit, just a little.

The tea had unforeseen effects which Elena welcomed with one heart.

If she did not see Kieran during the day after a cup, she saw him at night in her dreams – happy dreams. And then they would talk, if only for a little bit.

Elena did not tell Maruja about these effects – she wouldn’t. Not when she felt like herself after months, not when she was able to see him and talk to him like he’d never left; like he wasn’t gone.

Her family did not question Elena’s change in attitude or aura. They all preferred to see her when she wasn’t a broken piece of grief. She even went out to the city after a long while and met her other friends.

She attended her friend Alice’s engagement and wedding, as well as Evelyn’s. And when her cousin Anne gave birth to a son, she travelled to the East to congratulate her.

She was happy for all her friends who married, and when she got home, all she needed to do was take a cup, and she’d be happier.

******

It was a cold night. Elena woke up in the middle of the night and chose to take a moonlit walk in the garden. She wrapped her light green shawl around herself and exited the manor house through the back. It was the first night of the full moon, and she did not want to miss it. She had not seen it earlier, and wished to have a good view.

The garden was glowing with moonlight, as well as fire from the lanterns on pillars around the garden. Fireflies flickered about and added a magical hue to the blooming flowers, enhancing their bright colours.

Elena stood by the pond and looked up. The moon was full and effulgent. It shone so bright that the stars in its vicinity could hardly be seen. She lifted her hand and curved it into a circular gesture around the moon. She then flattened her palm and smiled. It looked like she was holding the moon in her palm.

A memory flashed in her mind – her and Kieran sitting on the bench under the oak tree in the front yard, watching the moonlit sky. He had made a grabbing motion at the sky and presented to her his fist, then opened it up.

“I just picked out a star from the sky and now I am giving it to you,” he had said with a goofy grin.

Elena chuckled at the memory. She turned to her right and froze.

There was a dark figure standing by the holly-hock shrub, watching her. The figure stepped forward and Elena noticed the black cloak and hood he wore. It was a man, obviously, by his build and height. Build and height she knew all too well, that she could recognize anywhere.

She had taken a cup of her special tea before bed, so seeing him infront of her did not surprise her much.

“You were supposed to appear in my dream tonight,” she said, smiling. “But you have found me awake.”

He did not reply. He instead stepped closer, and the light illuminated his face. She could not see his eyes because of the hood, but she could see the point of his nose, his lips and neatly trimmed beard which was…thicker?

Elena shook her head, clearing away that thought.

“You should not be out here,” she said. “I will go back to sleep now, and I will see you in my dream, okay?”

She didn’t await a response before turning around. She gazed up at the moon one last time, and that was when she felt his presence right behind her.

She felt something touch her hip first, then slide round her waist – his hand?

A gasp escaped her lips when she was suddenly pulled back flush against him.

Her heart rammed against her ribcage. None of their previous encounters ever felt like this…so real.

What was happening?

Her skin tingled where his breath fanned her neck.

“Elena.”

The raspy voice had her heart skipping a beat. A voice she thought she’d been hearing the past few weeks but not as clear, not as pleasant or sensational as it was at the moment.

His lips grazed her ear, causing her body to collapse into shudders. “I missed you so much.”

She could barely breathe. Her senses were completely disoriented by whatever was happening, and she sought only to understand it. So she rotated, and his hold on her did not cease. She looked up into his face, and her heart thumped wildly when his cyan eyes gazed back at her. Piercing like she remembered, laced with affection so deep, it reached into her soul and enveloped it.

Was she dreaming? Was it possible that this whole event, from walking down to the garden, gazing at the moon to seeing – being with him was all a dream?

With incredulity and caution, Elena lifted her hand and placed it upon his cheek. His eyes fluttered closed and he let out a sigh, leaning into her touch.

She could feel him; in the same way she was able to feel him close to eight months ago.

He released his hand from her waist and placed it atop hers on his cheek. He then brought her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles.

Her chest tightened at the gesture as tears welled up in her eyes. “Kieran…” she whispered and wrapped her arms around him, crashing the side of her face into his chest.

She could feel him.

Tears flowed freely from her eyes, although she could not understand why she was crying.

His hand swept up her back, stroked down her hair to her waist once more, and he tucked her against him.

His touch was too good to be true.

She pulled back and her trembling hands roamed everywhere – his face, neck, shoulders and chest. “How…” she whispered, her eyes following each movement of her hands. “How is it that you are here? How…how is it possible?”

Her hands rested on his upper arms and she gazed back into his eyes.

“I cannot break a promise, Elena,” he told her. “Especially not one I made to you.”

Elena whimpered and sniffled as more tears spilled from her eyes. “Do you have any idea how much you hurt me?”

Dread and regret blanketed Kieran’s face. “Elena, I am the scum of the earth for the words I said to you that day. I shouldn’t have yelled-”

“No, Kieran. No,” Elena shook her head. “You hurt me much more after that. I…I have been through so much because of you.”

“And believe me I’ve regretted everything since-”

“Listen to me, dammit!” she exclaimed, stunning him.

All was quiet but for her heavy breaths and sniffles as she struggled to compose herself.

She gazed at him through glistening blue eyes. “I have been miserable, Kieran,” she said, enunciating each word. “I have not faced such pain and misery like the one I did these past months without you. Just wuh-waiting only to realize you weren’t coming back?”

Her fingers curled, grasping the fabric of his cloak. “I missed you like you were my soul wrenched from me. I do not ever want to feel that way again. I-” She shook her head amidst sobs. “I don’t.”

He brought his arm round her and pulled her into his chest, letting her cry all she wanted.

“Please don’t disappear,” she choked out, holding onto him desperately. “Stay right here, where I can feel you.”

He kissed her head, letting his lips linger.

**

Elena pushed the doors of her bed-chamber open and stepped in. She was prevented from advancing any further by Kieran, who tugged on their joined hands. She turned around to peer at him. He eyed her bed-chamber with caution before turning his gaze to her.

“Are you sure about this?” he asked.

Elena pursed her lips. She yanked his hand, causing him to stumble into the room.

Without breaking their physical contact, she closed her doors, and led him to her bed. The only light came from the lantern on her bedside table.

She stared at him for a brief moment and using her free hand, unraveled the shawl from round her shoulders, dropping it on the bed.

Reluctantly, she let go of his hand and climbed into her bed, pulling the covers up to her waist.

Her eyes found his in the dim light. “Come.”

He moved forward, his response to her call instant. He easily slipped out of his boots, and the bed shifted with his weight as he lay down beside her on his back. Her arms encircled his arm and she pulled herself to him.

His gaze was on the ceiling, but hers was on him; on his face.

“For how long will you stare at me like I am an apparition?” he questioned.

“Until I am convinced you are real.”

He tilted his head to look at her. Their breaths mingled with how close their faces were. A slight lean forward and their lips would be touching.

“This isn’t real enough for you?” His voice was hoarse.

Elena parted her lips to respond, and his eyes were drawn to the action.

“Just stay right here,” she whispered and lowered her gaze from him.

Kieran turned his head away and returned to looking at the ceiling. “Okay.”

**

Elena stirred in her sleep and moved her arms about, searching for a warm body to hold on to. The only thing she felt was the plush of a pillow.

She awoke with a start and found she was indeed, cradling her pillow. Fear gripped her body and she jolted upright, whirling her head in all directions. There was no sign of anybody else on her bed or inside her bed-chamber.

Where was he?

Panic kicked in and she ran her fingers through her hair, keeping them there.

Had it all actually been a dream? Had her hallucinations evolved so much to the extent of mixing with reality?

Her breaths quickened and she felt the tears form at the back of her eyes as she stared at her coverlet in disillusionment.

At that moment, she noticed something hidden in the folds of her lavender coverlet. She reached for it and realized it was a folded piece of paper. Expectation was the sound her heart was beating to as she unfolded it to its full length, and it turned to inscrutable relief when she recognized Kieran’s handwriting.

Good morning, Elena.

Forgive my impudence at leaving so abruptly, and denying you the satisfaction of waking up beside me – there will be more days to come for that.

You were the first person I came to see the moment I crossed the border into Rievelt, and being with you settled the unease I have had. I could only be at peace once I had seen you first.

I must now go to see Aaron and my mother, and receive whatever wrath or punishment they give.

I will be busy later on because Lukas and I must meet the bereaved families of my fallen soldiers and offer our condolences. I do not know how long that will take, but I will come to you once that is completed.

Yours forever & beyond,
Kieran H.

Elena cried. Unlike before, she understood why she was crying. They were tears of relief; the embodiment of a promise never broken but upheld and fulfilled. They were tears of gratitude, tears of joy.

He had come back to her, alive. Injured, but alive nonetheless.

Kieran had returned – in reality.

Author's chatter:

Did I just kill a man and resurrect him in the next chapter?

The answer is….《drumroll please》…No, I did not.

Explanation in the next chapter...

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