It had been a month since The Guard’s departure and since Elena’s last interaction with Kieran. Elena’s family had tried their best in giving her comfort and reassurance. Her mother and Mara especially made efforts to brighten her mood, but Elena found the results to be no more than fleeting moments.

Instead, she had found true warmth and solace in the Hammedatha household – because she saw no pretence in the remaining family members.

Neither Lady Alyssa nor Aaron acted any differently than they had been before the Guard’s departure. Lady Alyssa continued to manage the affairs of the manor house, and quarreled with Aaron about doing the accounts. When Elena showed up to visit, Lady Alyssa would drag her in to do accounts as well.

“It will be your home, so you need to learn how to manage the affairs with me,” she would say.

It made Elena’s chest hurt, but also brought her a semblance of relief – and hope.

It was not the first time Lady Alyssa and Aaron had had to wait at home while the rest of the family went to battle, and they acted as though what was happening was within the ordinary course of daily life.

They spoke of their family members as if they had merely gone on a fishing trip and would eventually come back – with lots of fish.

It was different from her own home where everyone walked on eggshells around her, and a gloom lingered with the smiles; fake smiles.

The Hammedatha household was bright and warm, and Elena found herself genuinely smiling when she heard Lady Alyssa and Aaron recount a few fond Hammedatha tales, as well as referred to Aaron’s siblings light heartedly.

“Elena, even if Aira begs you to let her bake in the kitchen with you, please decline. Otherwise, she will burn this whole house and all of us alive,” Aaron would remind her.

She rarely saw The Commander, but on the occasions she did, he always gave her a small smile, being a man of few words. And when he smiled, his resemblance to Kieran was striking; she figured Kieran got his famous half-smile from his father.

She had gotten a chance to meet Maruja, an apprentice of Physician Maverick. Although her demeanour was serious, her volatility towards Aaron amused Elena, and she developed an instant liking for the redhead.

“Aaron is such a sweetheart, yet you are so cruel to him,” Elena said to Maruja one day.

The two were seated on stools on the terrace of Maverick’s simple house. They were sorting herbs heaped on bamboo trays, settled on their laps

Maruja rolled her eyes. “He is as pesky as a mosquito,” she said. “He won’t leave me alone no matter how many times I shoo him away.”

“I just do not understand why you must shoo him away,” Elena said. She plucked some yellowish leaves from one branch of the herb and tossed them on the floor, atop a pile of other discarded leaves. “What is it that you do not like about him?”

Maruja stopped her plucking motion and looked up into the front yard. It was filled with brown maple leaves, shed and spread across the ground. She had a faraway look in her eyes.

“It isn’t that I don’t like him,” she said softly. “Aaron…Sir Aaron and I…we are different. Someone like him and someone like me cannot be anything more than acquaintances.”

She went back to pruning the branches, her stoic mask returned. But Elena saw a bit of sadness in her eyes and sensed a resignation in her voice.

“Maruja!” Aaron’s voice chirped as he came waltzing onto the terrace.

His long black hair had been held up in a messy bun atop his head, all ornaments removed. He had changed into a long grey linen robe which he’d loosely tied so part of his chest and stomach were exposed. He was wearing sandals and a big smile, his brown eyes twinkling as he looked at the redhead with blatant excitement.

“I’m ready for my sponge bath,” he declared.

Elena fought a smile as Maruja glared up at him.

“I already told you, you don’t need a sponge bath,” she gritted out.

“What are you saying, Maruja?” Aaron replied. “If you are around, then of course I will be needing a sponge bath. I wouldn’t want to miss my chance.”

“What you need is an ordinary bath because-” She pinched her nose. “-you stink.”

Aaron grinned. “An ordinary bath works too; as long as you are bathing with me.”

At once, Maruja picked some beans from the basket next to her seat and pelted Aaron with them while Elena giggled.

She didn’t miss the blush on Maruja’s cheeks.

**********

With time, Elena learnt more about Maruja. She never knew her mother, and her father was a farmer. He died when she was ten years old, and that is when Maverick took her under his wing and started to teach her about herbs and medicines.

At the time, Elena was settled in the pavilion at Hammedatha Manor with Aaron and Maruja. Aaron had been teaching Maruja how to read, and she was having difficulty saying some of the words he’d written down.

Aaron’s elbow was propped on the table, his hand supporting his head as he watched Maruja. A small smile was on his face, and his eyes were tender.

It reminded Elena of Kieran.

**
After dance rehearsal, Elena followed Kieran to his private study. She had not been inside before, and wanted to see what was in it. As expected, it was huge.

A lounge was to the right side; equipped with a fireplace, a coffee table, two sofas and a chaise. To the left were tall bookshelves and a step ladder. Infront of the ceiling to floor windows opposite the entrance was his desk, stacked with files and papers on one side, his inkpot and quill placed on the other side.

“I noticed your entire family loves to read,” Elena said, marvelling at the bookshelves.

“It is a hobby we share,” Kieran replied, moving towards a book shelf. He picked out a book. “Would you like to read something?”

“Oh, no!” Elena immediately declined, waving her hands out in front of her. She looked at her shoes sheepishly. “Actually, I am not much of a reader. I find it hard to read by myself, so Mara usually reads to me, if it isn’t a book with drawings.”

Kieran regarded her, and she wondered why he did not look surprised.

“So you prefer to be told a story, then,” he said. “No wonder you are such a good listener.”

“Yes!” she said with enthusiasm. “I love to listen, but my attention span is low when it comes to reading.”

Kieran smiled at her. He shelved the book he had picked, and took out a thinner one.

“Come,” he said to her and walked to the chaise, where he sat down. Elena padded over and sat beside him.

“I will read to you,” he said. “I’m sure you will like this one.”

“General, I would not want to be a bother-”

“It’s honestly fine, Lady Elena,” he said. “In fact, whenever you’d like to read something, you can ask me to read it out for you.”

Elena gave him a grateful smile.

He read to her the story of the Abominable Sea Pirates. There were a few words she did not understand, so he had to explain their meanings. With time, he would see a word he guessed she wouldn’t understand, and he would replace it with an easier synonym, so the flow of the story wasn’t interrupted so much.

By the end of the story, her head was on his shoulder.

She twiddled her thumbs. “Thank you for reading to me, even though it must have been a burden.”

“Did I sound like I was burdened?”

She giggled. “You were quite animated. I enjoyed it a great deal,” she answered. “But still, I’m sorry for being slow-witted. You know, I gave my instructors stress for three years because I kept repeating the literary class.”

“That is not something for you to be apologetic about, Lady Elena,” Kieran told her. “You are amazing already as it is. Even if you were unable to read, write or speak properly, it would not make me value you any less.”

Elena wrapped her arms around his arm and squeezed, gently.

She was happy.

**
Elena looked at Aaron and Maruja before her. She wondered whether Maruja suffered the same insecurities she once had. She thought about what Maruja had said to her a couple of days ago, and wondered whether by ‘differences’ she had been referring to the difference in class between her and Aaron.

Kieran was someone who didn’t mind class differences and held no prejudice against those who were not within his status. She figured Aaron was the same, and she had a feeling Maruja knew this as well.

So what was really causing her to keep her distance?

Elena suddenly felt drained. It had been a long while since she’d actually reminisced about Kieran, and the nostalgic memory of what he was like reminded her of the fact that he was currently gone.

*****

When Elena got home that evening, she found her mother settled in the sitting room with the seamstress – the seamstress supposed to create her engagement dress.

“Elena…” Her mother stood up when she saw her. She glanced at the seamstress and forced a smile at Elena. “Well, the dress is ready, dear. It’s time for…time for the dress fitting.”

Elena thought she was going to be sick.

Noticing the pale look on Elena’s face, her mother quickly added, “Only once, dear. Just try it on only once and-”

“No.” Elena’s voice was shaky as he replied. She shook her head adamantly. “I cannot.”

Her mother’s face fell in worry. “But Elena-”

Without another word, Elena hurried away, her heart beating against her eardrum. She rushed up to her bed-chamber, shutting the doors behind her.

She wiped a tear that had streamed down her cheek as her last encounters with Kieran replayed in her mind.

Finding out about him and Princess Debra’s relationship, seeing him caressing her and him shouting at her.

“Don’t wait for me.”

A sob escaped from her and she allowed the tears to fall.

How could she think about her engagement at this point in time, when it was clear that Kieran didn’t want anything to do with her?

No one knew but she. No one knew about Kieran’s feelings for the princess and about the words he’d said to her that fateful day. Lady Alyssa and Aaron didn’t know, which is why they spoke of the future so light heartedly.

She wanted to live in that future, and thought that everything would be okay if she held onto the hope they gave. But when she heard about her engagement dress, she knew it would not be a reality.

She would not be getting engaged to Kieran.

She would not be marrying him.

Her eyes spotted the long burgundy coat on her bed, the Guard’s emblem embellished proudly on its breast.

She burst into a fresh river of tears and sat on her bed, picking the coat and holding it tightly to herself; like it was a detached part of her she wished to reattach.

She did not notice someone come in until a pair of arms wrapped around her broken form, supporting her as she bawled her eyes out.

She could tell it was Mara, because her sister was the only person she knew who cried whenever she saw another in tears.

*********

Several weeks later, Elena received a visit from her cousin Anne, and her husband Luther Javanmoore. Anne was six months pregnant, and Elena was moved and grateful that her precious cousin made the tough journey just so she could check on her.

Her only wish was that their reunion should have been on a happier occasion.

On the very night of their arrival, Anne sat with Elena in her bed-chamber, on a settee. Elena’s head was on her lap as Anne brushed through her dark hair with her fingers.

“Mother tells me you don’t want to try on your engagement dress.”

Elena remained silent at Anne’s statement. After a while, Elena sat up and looked at her cousin. Aside from the bump, weight gain and glowing skin, she had not changed much. Her eyes were still warm and welcoming, and her aura invited the secrets to her; drew them to be spilled.

“Kieran…” Elena started. Her throat was sore and she was sure she sounded like a frog. “I do not think he would want to marry me anymore.”

Anne did not reply. She waited for Elena to go on, and she did.

She could not recount everything that had happened without breaking down. Through her sobs, she narrated of her broken trust, of Kieran’s feelings for the princess and their fight. Anne wiped her eyes and nose as she spoke, and rubbed soothing circles on her back.

“But Anne, I…I do not care about that anymore.” Elena whimpered. “I do not care if he has f-feelings for the princess or…or if he doesn’t wuh-wish to marry me. I just want him to be safe.”

Tears poured from her bloodshot eyes and Anne wiped them with her handkerchief.

Elena hiccupped. “I just want him to stay alive, Anne. I wuh-want him to come back ho…home, to his family. To Aaron and everyone.” She sniffed and her body quaked as she wept. “I miss him, Anne.”

She buried her head in Anne’s lap once more, her fingers clutching onto her skirt. “I miss him so much, it’s unbearable.”

*****

Anne stayed for two more weeks after that. On the day following her and Luther’s departure, Elena sat on the bench under the oak tree in the front yard of Rivera Manor. She was watching the brown leaves fall and rustle on the ground, occasionally shifting her gaze to the sky. She had not moved from that spot since dawn and it was nearly noon then.

“Lady Elena.”

She had thought the voice belonged to one of the maid servants sent by her mother to fetch her. She was about to send the maid back on her way, but when she looked to her side at the petite girl, she did not recognize her as one of the Rivera Manor servants. She looked distraught, and the blackish grey bonnet she wore added to the dark haggard expression on her face.

Elena thought she seemed familiar, but couldn’t remember where she’d seen her.

“Who are you?” Elena’s voice was soft, weak. “And why do you look so sad?”

The maid looked like she was about to cry. Elena did not miss the remorse written all over her face, and thought about reaching forward and giving her a hug.

“I work at Hammedatha Manor,” she replied, a slight tremor in her voice. “My name is Sophie.”

“Will you explain to me the reason for your visit, Sophie?”

Sophie at once fell to her knees infront of Elena. “I deserve death, my lady,” she proclaimed, bowing her head. “I should have informed you sooner about what really happened that day.”

“Get up,” a shocked Elena said. She took her hands and tried to make her stand, in vain. “Please do not kneel before me.”

The girl was adamant about staying on the ground. “No! I can only seek forgiveness this way!”

Elena was completely puzzled and astonished. What sort of heinous crime could she have committed to cause her to grovel in such a manner?

“What is it you wish to tell me, Sophie?” Elena asked.

Sophie looked up and her repentant eyes met Elena’s weary yet questioning ones.

“My lady on that day, the General…” Sophie sighed out. “The General did not intend to do what he did.”

Elena was still confused. “What do you mean? What day?”

Sophie chewed her bottom lip anxiously. “The day that you saw him in the study with the princess,” she replied. “He had been intoxicated and it was my fault. It caused him to hallucinate and-and he wasn’t in his right mind.”

Elena tried to wrap her head around her statement. “Hallucinate? That…that doesn’t make any sense. How could he have done what he did under hallucination?”

“If I lie to you, then I deserve the gallows, my lady,” Sophie stated. “The General was hallucinating you. He only embraced the princess because he thought it was you.”

Elena slowly let go of Sophie’s hands as her brain tried to register the information.

“His mind was tricked into believing that he was embracing you,” Sophie added.

Author’s note:

I have no chatter today. This intense arc also has me speechless.

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