Warning: This talks about a sensitive topic, so if you don't like stuff about depression, then please don't read.

First off, what happened here?

The other day, I was talking to _Arctic_Puppy_ (Who's fabulous and awesome, and rides Laurence the pig with happy from Fairy Tail) I told her about how proud I am of myself because I've been actually updating this book. 😂😂 I have a hard time updating, and me and my family think I have ADHD, because when I do write, I get off task easily.

Anyways, (Count how many times I use the word anyways. After every time I change the subject, I say anyways. Yeah... Definitely ADHD) she told me that I had 1,000 views. I hadn't even realized it at the time.

Now, days afterwards, I have 2,000 views.

Guys, it's been two weeks since I published the first part of this book, and I have 2k views! This is unbelievable. I'm literally screaming. Seriously, what happened? Unicorns? I don't know.

All I know, is that I am so thankful for this.

Most of you guys don't know me in real life. There is only about one or two people who do.

Well, I'm just going to say this straight forward and honestly. You guys deserve to know how much you guys have been helping me.

I've been depressed. If you guys don't know this already, I used to live in Colorado. Me and my family moved away, to Kansas.

When we moved, I was devastated. I was leaving my friends, my relatives, and pretty much everything that I had ever known. I was leaving home, my safe haven, the place that made me smile, and the place that made me, me.

I miss my friends, and I miss Colorado.

I've had a hard time being without them. I've found myself not being hungry, being extra tired, and overall, grumpy and moody because I'm depressed. I feel like, when I left Colorado, I also left a piece of me in it.

I feel like I'm weighed down, like everything is droopy (You are great at explaining things, Ryan!!! *sarcasm*)

The thing is, that I've fallen into depression, and even if I get over Colorado, I will still be depressed. I'm at the point where I'm depressed for no reason. That's just how depression works. It makes you see the bad in everything, so that it is very difficult to get out of it. Most of my friends don't even know that I feel this way.

I have a very low self esteem now. There are some days that I feel like nothing, that I can't do anything. I look in the mirror and wonder what I'm doing with myself. I felt like I wasn't important. That I couldn't do anything right.

My only escape is in writing, drawing, and reading. When I read, I'm transported into marvelous tales of bravery, strength, and kindness. It gives me hope. When I draw, I am tranquil. I can focus on one thing, without all of my thoughts invading me.

Now, when I write, I can transport myself into a world, just like when I read. I can become a wizard who stops the evil dark magic from spreading throughout the land. I can become a hero, an acrobat, a good friend, an explorer, or a knight. I can become whoever I want to be. I can make a difference.

Writing carried me on.

As I said, I have a low self esteem though. I love to write, and it can temporarily take away my troubles, but when I am done writing a part, I am back in the real world. I look down at the work I created and criticize it. I saw only my flaws and mistakes.

Writing was my escape, but at the same time, it was the thing holding me down.

Most people see me and think that I'm this super happy, bubbly, humorous person, with a super positive attitude. At school, most people see me as the positive girl who is always smiling. I'm not though. I used to be. Smiling now, is simply a mask to hide my true feelings.

Well, it was.

I'm happy when I make others happy. When I make a difference. When I make people smile or make their day. That gives me hope.

I find happiness in others, like you.

When I hear that you guys laughed at my jokes in my stories, or I made you smile, it makes my day. When I hear that you guys enjoyed or liked my writing, which I criticize and see as horrible, it makes me feel like something.

Even if it was just one person. One person out there who smiled because of something I wrote. I would be happy.

The truth is, you guys make me smile every day. I have made friends with some of you, and I'm so happy to be in this community of wattpaders.

I've learned to not judge myself so much. If I tried my best, then it's good. I'm taking this as a learning experience. I'm learning things every day, and it's okay if my writing sucks now, because I'll get better at it with practice. That goes with everything. My artistic abilities, my amount of patience, my knowledge, my amount of compassion. I'm learning to become a better person. I want to make others smile and laugh. I want to inspire someone. I want to write with people and talk with people. I want to make new friends, and be able to handle these new situations in my life.

With me missing Colorado, I've learned to smile because it happened, and not cry because it's over. My friends will still be my friends. It may not be the same, but everything that happened, still happened. Plus, who knows what could happen in the future?

That weight that I felt, which dragged me down every day, which made me "depression sleep" and not be hungry, it's going away. Sure, there are days when I come home from school, flop onto the couch, and feel horrible. There are mornings where I wake up, and I don't want to get up. I just want to lay there all day.

I've also learned not to hold on my emotions. It's just made it worse. My family doesn't even know how I exactly feel. They just think that I'm a teenager being a teenager. I've grown strong enough to be able to tell people, and discuss my feelings.

I'm making friends at my new school, and I'm becoming interested in different things.

This is really all an adventure for me. Life is a road trip, filled with many adventures. Maybe you run out of gas, or you're tire pops. When you look back on it though, you've learned a lesson.

You guys have helped me. You really have.

I want to help you guys too, if any of you need it. If you feel this way, then please, stay strong. Never bottle it up, and tell someone about it, or heck, get a journal and write in it. Find an escape. Find something that makes you happy. Make someone smile and I bet you that you will smile too. You'll feel better. Trust me.

Do you guys know about the "Have you filled a Bucket Today?" book?

If not, then I'll explain. We all have a bucket. Some people have ones with barely anything in them, and others are almost full. People with empty ones are depressed, stressed, lost, etc. To fill your own bucket, and make yourself happy again, you must fill another's bucket. You must be nice to others. You must give what you have in your bucket to others. Then, your bucket will begin to fill itself because you are kind to others. If you are mean to others, and take what they have in their bucket, and put it into your own, then it will automatically spill. So basically, it's saying that you will gain self confidence and happiness by being kind to others, and making others happy.

So be kind. Fill a bucket today.

Also, don't judge yourself. You are who you are, and no one is like you. You aren't worthless. You are priceless. You are one of a kind, and you are the only you. There is only one of you. So when you think that you are nothing, you are everything. Stay positive and look at what you already have. Be grateful for what you have. Look on the bright side of things. Look at the little things in life.

Don't give up too easily. If you have a dream, then make it happen. You can do anything with the right attitude.

If you have serious depression, please get help. It's worth it. Trust me. My friend used to have serious depression, and because she didn't get help, it only got worse.

On those days where you don't want to get up, just remember that you aren't the only one. There are people all around you with the same thing. Please, you are not alone. I understand, it's hard, but things will only get better if you get up.

Things will get better. Trust me. It may seem like it's going to last forever, but it won't. So go live your life! Everyone has downs of their life, but just because that we are at a down part of our life now, doesn't mean that our whole life is going to be like this. This is only temporary.

There is so much I could say about this, so I'm sorry if my mind is going on weird places and if this is random.

Thank you, guys, so much; for helping me. Also, thanks for the 2,000 views. I never thought that I would get to this. Never in a million years did I think that I would get to this point ever, let alone two weeks. I'm glad that you guys are liking this, and that you guys are smiling. So, thank you. Even if it is just one person that I made smile, then I would still be saying this.

I appreciate it so much. Remember, life is a road trip. Even though there are troubles, there are also lessons learned, and there are adventures experienced. You might find a new friend along the way. You might be stuck in a ditch, and someone helps you out. Thanks to writing, my family, my friends, and you amazing unicorns, I'm getting out of that ditch.

I'm sure that this will lead to many new experiences.

I hope that I helped you, or made you smile, or made you happy during this. I hope that you guys, who are struggling out there, will get better, and out of the depression that you are in. Depression sucks, even if it's just a little bit of it.

You guys are awesome, beautiful, amazing, and brilliant people. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I think you're awesome, so you should think that you're awesome. You guys make me smile every day, so thank you. I'm sorry this was long and jumping from subject to subject, but this needed to be said. Again, thanks for everything. Love ya! Bai!