Hey, guys! I'm here because I really wanted to make some announcements, but also get a few things off of my chest. I'm sorry that this isn't a part, but this is very important. This will also be explaining as to why I have taken a break from Wattpad.

Honestly, I feel like I've just been letting a lot of you down lately. I haven't updated often enough, and when I do, it isn't consistent, and it isn't good quality. I don't feel like I've been working hard enough on this, and that I should be working harder, on not only this book, but on all of my books.

Lately, I've only been really updating this book, and that's because I'm having writer's block with many of my other books. I feel horrible because I haven't been updating those books at all, but I honestly can't write good stuff if I'm having writer's block.

I really want to update every day, but I want to update so many books every day. I'm already adding like six more books on Wattpad because my brain is just... Being mean to me. I've tried to make a schedule, but that would mean that I only update my books once or twice or week.

It's been really stressful because I have so many books on Wattpad, and people want me to update them, but I'm honestly done with some of my really old books on Wattpad, and kinda want to delete them because I don't know if I'll ever add anything to them ever again. (Wow, that sentence was long. Run on sentence much?)

What I'm trying to say is that it's becoming a little too much, and I need to figure everything out before I continue. I'm letting my goals get too big.

I'm becoming really busy, and this isn't my only account. I love the group accounts I'm in, but I feel like this account, my main account, is keeping me from writing on my group accounts.

Besides Wattpad, I have singing, karate, piano, drawing, etc. I have other things I do, and with school coming up, it's becoming all too much.

However, this isn't the main reason I took a break. The main reason is because my mental health is a disaster at the moment. I keep having panic attacks.

I've had really bad anxiety with being near people or talking with people. I'm constantly self conscious, and I've been afraid to update my books in worries that people won't like it. I feel like everything I say will either offend someone, or make someone look at me in a bad way. My parents and I think I have S.A.D., which stands for Social Anxiety Disorder. I show practically all of the symptoms. I'm too scared to text or message people at times.

I've lost friends because I keep canceling plans with them just because I'm scared to be near them. I don't really have many friends that I can really talk to now. I've been losing friends with my move from Colorado, and I'm not gaining any really close ones here. I'm just scared to hang out with them. I got in a fight with my BFF, and she dumped me, so I don't really know what to do.

I'm scared to go anywhere with lots of people. I feel constant humiliation with everything I do. I feel humiliated just by walking up stairs or by getting ketchup packets in the cafeteria at my school. I get scared to start conversations and ask people things.

I just don't know what to do. I'm probably going to need medicine. My anxiety has gotten so bad that it's affecting my life drastically, and I'm becoming depressed. It's causing me health problems all the time, and it has deteriorated my motivation to do anything. My low self esteem has just gone worse, and I just don't know what to do. I feel like I've been failing this book, and everything I do.

I've been, depressed. It's been hard for me to get out of bed, or even simply watch YouTube. I haven't been eating much either. I just feel so empty, and lost. I've lost interest in a lot of things I used to love, and I've been becoming distant from my friends. I hate myself. I hate my writing. I hate my art. I feel worthless in this world. I'm a waste of space.

Everything has been difficult lately. I'm sorry for not updating. I really am. However, my health comes first, and I needed to take a step back and take a break. I hope you guys can understand. I'm going to see a therapist on Tuesday, so hopefully I'll get everything worked out soon.

Now, I feel bad for saying all of this. I don't know how all of you react to all of this. If you want to leave, then you can do so. I feel bad for ranting about all of this, but I felt like I should give you a genuine reason as to why I haven't been updating. This is also why I haven't been updating very well lately. All of this has just distracted me.

It's taken me days just to write this, and I'm not even putting much thought into this. This probably sucks because I just rambled and didn't even read it for mistakes.

I'll try to update soon.

Again, I am SO SO SO SO SO SO sorry for not updating. Gah, I feel like crying right now. I'm so sorry. I love ya guys. I hope I didn't offend any of you in this. <3

I hope you guys understand. Thanks for everything guys. You guys are amazing. Have a nice day or night. Love ya <3