I don't feel like dealing with reality today so let's get back to my pretend love interest.

Today we will learn his name. Okay, we already know his name because I came up with it and told you. But he doesn't know that we know so he'll let us know despite the fact that we know.

Now.

Dear Diary

Bleh, I really don't like that, I'm dropping it.

It was a hot day. One of those stupid hot days that everyone found outside and not in an air conditioned room was an idiot.

Enter idiot: me sitting on my front porch steps. I would say there was a breeze but not one strong enough to do anything. Again the wind was an old man but instead of blowing in my face, he gave a weak death rattling breath that barely touched me.

(I think the metaphor is weird)

The leaves in the trees barely stirred, they hung limply on their branches as if craving the AC of the indoors.

(I'm going flowery again with my proses. I blame Mrs. Mumford's 8th-grade English class. She taught me about personification)

Despite the oppressive heat that should have made me retreat into the house, I remained in my spot.

Why?

To see a hot guy. Duh.

As it so happens I spot a figure running down the sidewalk. My heart does not flutter because I'm not eager. Though I will admit to a little perking up in my slumped posture. As the runner draws closer, I see that it is the same guy as yesterday. But instead of continuing to run, he slows his pace to a walk.

Nearing my house, he uses the edge of his shirt to wipe his brow. What was revealed was a pixelated or better yet a cartoon sticker obscuring the view.

(I'm keeping this PG remember)

For my part, because my creepy eye stalking only goes so far, I averted my gaze.

(So maybe the cartoon sticker was pointless. What a waste of imaginary CGI)

When the boy/guy (sometimes I don't know which is the correct term) gets closer, I let myself look at him. Seeing me, he stops, pausing just beyond the front gate.

(Apparently, my family has a front gate to our lawn. Something we didn't need before because our house was already on private property)

"Hi," he says, overlooking the fact that I'm only a single phase away from being a full zombie.

(I don't have the neck and limb deformity they usually have)

"I saw you yesterday," the boy says.

(Keen observer this one)

"Funny," I say. "I saw you too."

"Are you waiting for anyone?"

"Yeah, usually a hot guy runs past about this time." (Cause of course I now have this type of confidence)

"And you're admiring the view?" he asks.

"Got nothing else to do with my time. Besides, I think he's an idiot like me."

Instead of looking insulted as pretty much any normal human being would be, the boy/guy looks amused.

"How is he an idiot?" he asks.

"He's outside in the blazing heat when rational people are inside," I answer.

"Would his status of idiot change if he explained that he grew up in Arizona and this heat doesn't compare?"

"I'd say that's a good bit of exposition but it leaves me being the only idiot in this situation."

(Naturally, we're able to banter so perfectly despite never having met before)

"That does put you in a bad place," the guy says. "But since I don't like laying down judgment on someone without knowing them first at least I will not call you an idiot. For now."

He gives me a smile. One of those smiles that makes your insides smile in response.

(A physically impossible occurrence but okay)

"Are you saying you want to know me better?" I ask.

"I am," the boy says. "I'm Ryder."

(Because sure that's a legit name)

"I'm Alex," I say, not at all questioning why someone as good-looking, charming, and named like a bad boy character would want to know me.

(Again I feel the need to point out that realistically I would look terrible and like I hadn't showered in two days)

Ryder takes a step back from the fence/gate still looking at me. It's a thoughtful look, one that says he can somehow see there's more to me than meets the eye. He looks at me in a way no one has in a long time.

I'm not a patient to him but a person.

(I think I'm going to hurl. Quick need to make him leave)

"See you around," he says. "Maybe tomorrow as you look out for that hot runner."

"Yeah and if I see you too that works out."

He laughs. A sound like a warm crackling fire on a cold winter night.

(I live in Southern California, what would I know of that type of feeling?)

(Also that laugh makes no sense)

"Sounds good," he says.

"Maybe I'll bring you a water bottle," I say.

(Because I have to say one thing that makes me sound stupid so I'm relatable)

Despite the fact that I want to hide my face at the awkward comment, Ryder finds it endearing.

"Good. I'm an idiot and forgot to bring my own."

With that, he takes off running and I watch him go. I stand and head into my house, needing to go hunt up a bottle of water.

**********************************************************************

What's poppin' poppies!

(Did I already use poppies? I think I might have, if I have then I am failing! I had one job to do! Be original but I'm not even being that! Gosh! What is wrong with me. Whatever its already done let's move on.)

Our pretend male love interest is back! What do we think about it all? 💭🗯💬

Not going to lie I think I enjoy Alex's side comments more than the witty banter. I mean we all have those sarcastic voices in our heads...

We all have those right?

I'm not alone?

I mean I currently alone but that's only because I don't have anyone to date.

Ha just kidding I don't want to date anyone, better to write guys I can control and use to heighten your standards, far more entertaining and quite a power trip!

Anyway I think this new pretend male love interest that is in a made up story, so it's like story inception, shows promise!

Vote, comment, follow only because you have nothing better to do. If you do have something better to do then go do it! Hop to it! Let's go!