Previously On My Life.

This is something I usually put at the beginning of all my journals.

(Not diaries I actually detest that word because it makes it sound like the whole time I'm going to whine about some boy or some pointless high school drama that will later on make me cringe. Therefore this is a journal, much more mature. Wrote the girl who is filling the pages with a pretend male love interest)

I start my journals (forgot to start this one this way but whatever I'm doing it now) this way, in case, when I'm an old lady (hoping I make it there I can't see how this diary/journal ends) and I want to view my thoughts on life by reading an old journal then the Previously On My Life will let me know what was currently taking place. This is in case my mind has lost itself and I can't remember what happened during certain years.

This is likely to happen even if I didn't get memory loss because I already suck at remembering dates. History is my worst subject because of that. Or well it was...

I guess that lets me into my Previously On My Life List:

I had to drop out of high school. I made it through the last semester of my junior year but didn't make it back for my senior year. Now it's spring and everyone I know will be graduating soon.

If you're thinking: you were at home could you have been homeschooled, well stop that thought.

Cause in response I'll say: you have two feet and can walk in a straight line that must mean you can tightrope walk between two buildings.

See the connection?

If you're only thinking: What is wrong with her?

Well, that's what three doctors, two specialists, and one naturopath haven't been able to figure out.

I know what's wrong with me, I'm in a stupid amount of pain constantly and to deal with it I use humor. If that doesn't scream I AM A BROKEN PERSON I honestly don't know what does.

I have a good family.

I have half of a good family.

As for that second half... Well, they live elsewhere. Not even in a different state or town just not where I live.

I don't know if not caring about my current state makes them bad people.

I think they've lived their lives so different from mine for so long that just because something big changed in my life doesn't mean it made a change in theirs.

Still, a call would be nice.

Or maybe not, maybe the gap between calls would be harder to deal with than accepting no calls at all.

Wow, where's a good joke when you need one? All I can think of are dad jokes which makes me think of dads, my dad, and...

Yup, there you have it, the Previously On My Life List now back to the show!

Which just means I'm leaving. Maybe tomorrow we'll get to see that dreamy pretend male love interest again.

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Hi there My beautiful morning glory!

(A really pretty flower and one that Jin (of BTS)  happened to dye his hair to look like. But it wasn't on purpose, he just sucked at dying his own hair. I don't know why I'm tell you this)

Like the morning glories that only live for one day, bloom your thoughts and share them before they die? 💭💬🗯

Slightly weird place to take this but I think there was a clear indication with my Jin story that this author's note will be off the rails like all the rest.

I think Alex is an interesting character because she's really not afraid to state her thoughts bluntly. Though this is her personal journal after all, if she can't state them bluntly here where it's safe and not at all read by a few hundred people, then where can she say them?

I mean we all need that safe place. That Safety Zone as Jhope put it.

Where is your safety zone?

Mine is with my sisters. They are my best friends and the ones that I can share everything with. And the things that are even too private to share with them or the things they might not fully understand I share with God because He gets me.

Though sometimes I wonder what He thinks because at times I'll just straight up monologue to Him about life. I always think He would find my thoughts amusing because they wander sooooo much! Like for reals, I can't stay on track even if I try, kinda like my author's notes.

Hopefully He finds my thoughts as amusing as you find my author's notes. You stick around even thought there's clear signs I'm mentally bonkers. So I figure He feels the same way.

I'm going to dip because I've now spilled the tea on me and my ramblings. Not actual tea since my computer would stop working, just the metaphorical type...

Okay I'm leaving!

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