Chapter 22: So Damn Messed Up

"If you create a breakdown scene again, I will make you regret it."

"As if I'm afraid of your threats."

I crossed my arms and leaned in the entrance. Ignoring me, Nolan showed our tickets to the lady checking and we were allowed in. The accident, Chase's death, and even our kiss seemed to have no significance for Nolan. Back to square one.

"You should be."

"What's the worst you can do? Kill me?" I challenged.

He pressed his lips together and allowed a small yet noticeable sigh.

He told me to follow him. We were going to spread false rumors about Janine. Who said girls were witches when it came to rumors and gossiping? Nolan beat them all. He sat down with some of the swimmer guys and told them how he was having fun with a certain female swimmer.

Not me, obviously.

I couldn't even find Kayden to warn him. Hopefully, he trusted his girlfriend more than his friends.

Nolan and I were watching the girls compete when Janine's boyfriend paid us a visit. Of course, he'd remember Nolan from the last time.

"Hey," I said.

"Dude, why are you spreading rumors about my girlfriend?" Kayden asked Nolan, ignoring me.

"What rumors? I only spoke the truth. Last night, your girlfriend stayed over," Nolan smiled slyly.

"What?" Kayden and I asked simultaneously.

"Didn't I tell you?" Nolan asked, his face serious. "Janine and I had a great time. She likes strawberry, if you know what I mean."

Ice cream?

Kayden's hands flung to Nolan's collars and he was ready to murder him. Didn't Nolan and Janine break up? Was there some revival of feelings? He told me he liked me! Didn't that mean something? He was a jerk. Typical guy. To think Nolan wasn't that terrible was a huge mistake on my part. I didn't even know why his words stung.

Some announcer said something, but we were too engrossed in our argument and fight.

"Hit him for me too," I told Kayden.

Nolan looked at me in disbelief. Wait, what if it was Nolan's plan? What if he was lying?

"It's not my fault your girlfriend likes me better," Nolan said. He was running on thin ice. Disgusted, I turned away. Kayden was yelling at Nolan to shut his yap. Janine came over to join us with a panicked look.

"Kayden, why are you--" she began.

"Stop," Kayden held up his hand. "Were you with Nolan yesterday night?" I waited for her answer as well.

She frowned. "Yeah, he needed me, so--"

Needed her for what?!

Kayden's face was crimson from anger. Expecting a denial from Janine, I was disappointed in Nolan. Kayden released Nolan and stepped away to face Janine.

"You skipped meeting me for him?" Kayden asked her.

"And you didn't bother talking to me after everything that happened because of her?" I asked Nolan. Janine looked uncomfortable. Nolan gave me a glare to shut up.

"It was nothing!" Janine protested.

"Nothing?" I asked pissed off. "Of course. You broke up with him because of his medical problem. Now, you're the one meeting him because he needed you?"

"What do you even see in him?" Kayden asked Janine.

"What do you even see in her?" I asked Nolan. I didn't know why my temperature arose.

"I met him because he was hurt!" Janine said. "I accidentally fell asleep there and that's all that happened!"

"Yeah, I have proof," Nolan said, pulling out his iPhone. I wanted to murder him to still take photographs. He showed me and Kayden snaps of Janine in Nolan's arm on a couch. They were both under a blanket. Half of Nolan's naked torso was in one picture and Janine's shoulders looked bare. On the table in front of the couch had an alcohol bottle.

Great photography, Nolan.

My eyes stung seeing Nolan smirk.

He was so proud.

A weight tugged at my chest and I took deep breaths.

Janine's eyes popped wide and she re-checked the pictures. Kayden went pale. One of the swimmers ran up to our group. "Dude, you just missed the race!" he yelled. That came as a bigger shock. Kayden missed his race for this mess. "Janine, why didn't you get him?"

Things completely fell apart.

"I missed my race?" Kayden didn't look like he believed it until we turned around seeing male swimmers getting medals. He cursed. "Why didn't you tell me?!" He yelled at Janine before running away.

Janine was in tears as she chased after her boyfriend.

I blinked at Nolan who grinned.

"Mission accomplished," he said. "I did such a convincing job. You should've seen your face." He laughed.

Joking?

I turned around, clearly unamused.

Two hands looped around my neck, pushing me back into his chest. I elbowed him in the ribs, forcing him to retreat. My entire head was turned upside down and the chemical changes in my body were elevating my emotions.

Nolan set Janine and Kayden up.

In an ugly way.

Nolan walked around to face me. "What's wrong?"

"Great job," I said dryly. He continued chatting and explaining as we stepped out. I was preoccupied with my own thoughts. Nolan was a patient. He didn't need my help rather a professional's.

We rode back home in his car.

I couldn't get over the fact that he planned out everything so carefully. He called over Janine saying he was injured from a brutal accident. They had some liquor and he told Janine to stay over. Which she did. Because she wore a tube top, her shoulders looked bare in the photos. He then spread rumors of him and Janine in the swimmers' minds. Kayden got the information and approached Nolan. That's where Nolan nailed it.

He was so damn messed up.

He crossed every limit for taking revenge on his ex.

The car jerked to a stop and I still stared out the window, blankly. My hair was lightly pushed aside from my face but I slapped Nolan's hand away. I realized we were outside my house.

"Thanks for the ride," I said, opening the car door.

"Hel--"

I slammed the door behind me, not caring for what he had to say, and trudged towards my house. I heard another car door open behind me and Nolan called my name.

Stopping, I turned around just as Nolan ran up to me.

"What?" I asked.

"Why're you mad?"

"Take a guess."

"Nothing even happened between me and Janine if that's agitating you--" He tried to explain.

"No, Nolan, that's not the only reason behind my agitation," I said, my voice rising. "My annoyance is with your attitude, your mentality, and your . . . planning! I'm sick of it! I don't even understand you, anymore! What you did with Janine . . . You can't even respect a girl! I'm so disgusted and disappointed." The urge to punch him was very tempting but I refrained from getting violent. He wasn't worth it.

"Helen--" he stepped forward, extending his hand.

I stepped away, shaking my head.

"Don't touch me," I said through clenched teeth. "I'm sorry I decided to help you or whatever. My fault. Just leave me alone and I'll make sure to do the same."

I left him standing there and slammed the front door of my house as I entered.

Mom was sitting in the living room, folding laundry.

"You're home early," she said surprised.

"I'm sorry, but I have more important things to do than watch swimmers performing water tricks," I said. She frowned at my tone. "Just because I got into Princeton doesn't mean you should be lenient with me. I have to study, study, and study. Not goofing around with a lunatic with no brain or heart. Excuse me."

She just stared at me blankly.

I stormed to my room, banging the door behind. I picked up the AP Psychology textbook and sat down on my bed. My life was perfectly fine before Nolan. Boring or not, I didn't have to go through dramatic events.

Focusing was a difficult task when my brain was all over the place.

How could he?

He stooped so low to take photos of Janine in her worst and change its meaning. I rubbed my forehead and swallowed hard. I thought Chase's death would have some impact on him, but nothing. Nolan didn't change. I had no influence over him. He didn't care about what anyone would think about his actions.

"Helen?" There was a knock on my door. Mom slowly entered with a glass of water. Seeing me sitting on the bed, she sighed. I was handed the water, which I downed in less than ten seconds.

"I'm sorry for my rude behavior," I said as she sat down next to me.

"It's okay. Did you have a fight with Nolan?"

I flinched at his name.

"He lost all his brain cells in the accident. I don't want to hear his name ever again," I told her in a firm tone.

"What happened?" she asked concerned.

Where would I even start to explain?

"Please just let it go. I need to study for my psychology test," I said, opening my textbook to a random chapter. Mom still watched me silently. I exhaled loudly and turned to her. "Don't worry, I'll find someone better at Princeton."

She laughed.

"That's your best quality, you know?"

"What?" I asked.

"Staying on track, no matter what." She took the empty glass of water from me and got up. "But don't forget, the track always has obstacles. You can move around them or face them head first. It's your decision."

I nodded, somewhat understanding her meaning.

As she left, I concluded one thing: I'm so going to move around Nolan.

He kept texting me while I kept ignoring. I was genuinely hurt by how approached the seventh break up.

The following day, I ignored him like he was invisible. It continued the entire week. I even went to the auditorium for lunch. There was no drama class and the teacher allowed me. All the teachers loved me. As I sat on the huge wooden box on stage eating an orange an my feet dangling off the side, the main door opened. The teacher was at lunch with other teachers. I frowned, leaning forward to check the person.

"Is Ms. Mancari h--Helen?"

Aw man. Not him.

Last week ignoring was so successful..

"She's in the Band room eating lunch," I said curtly, hoping he'd leave. Instead Nolan put the stack of papers in his hands on the floor and sauntered to me.

"Can we talk?" he asked. Did he not get the message I was still mad at him? He stood in front of me so that we were face to face. He was definitely invading my personal space. "I know I hurt you. I'm sorry."

"You sorry makes no difference to me."

"I apologized to Janine for the photos and deleted them," he said. I still showed no interest in what he was saying, even though I was shocked Nolan did that. "She slapped me in return and told me to step out of her life."

"That's what you deserve," I said, not meeting his eyes.

He moved forward, but my legs and feet got in the way. Instead of backing off, he put out his knee, separating my legs and using the two second of surprise to move in closer. His face was hardly six inches away from mine. The blood rushed to my face at the position. I attempted to move back, but Nolan held my face in his hands, forcing me to look into his pale green eyes. His minty breath fanned my face.

"I made a mistake," he said solemnly. "You have every right to give me the silent treatment, but Helen, I'm not a bad person." His face fell down. "I can't help it. Ever since the doctors told me I had a heart problem, I made it a goal to get those breakups. It's all those girls' fault for making me the way I am. I don't want any of the guys to suffer through the same."

I hated him.

I hated him for making me soften towards him. His actions were based on what he thought was right, even though it was wrong.

His downcast gaze met mine with brutal honesty. He was beyond confusing.

"I know you're not a terrible person, but your actions say otherwise, Nolan." I sighed, putting aside the orange in my hand. "You can't imagine how many headaches I have gone through since that day. We already hurt Hanna and Chase. Now, stooping to ruin another girl's reputation? That's not a done deal. You destroyed Kayden's future. There are certain limits that should never be crossed which you did. You said you liked me, but you didn't even care about including me in your plan!" My heart drummed loudly. "I don't even know what to do anymore."

"We can make it work," he said.

I shook my head not willing to take any more risks.

His hands trailed down to my neck and he pushed my chin out towards him. Why was he doing this to me? My eyes shut on their own accord as Nolan's mouth neared mine. Just as his lips pressed against mine, we heard the door opening.

Nolan and I flew apart at the voices.

I turned around, sitting cross-legged now. My face was flushed in embarrassment as some students and the drama teacher came into view. Nolan quickly picked up the papers he came with and handed it to the teacher.

I started stuffing my mouth with orange slices.

What was life even?

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I missed last week because of wifi issues and electricity issues. I live on the east coast and we got like a foot of snow here in Delaware. I love snow, honestly. But this one was so much.

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