It's almost noon. Reva is about to finish her work in court and she's coming over. It'll be a fucking lie if I say I don't miss her. I want to see her. I hear a knock at the door.

"Yes," I say frowning.

"This lady wants to see you," Elva tells me.

As she turns to leave, Claudine appears behind her.

"Come in, Claudine," I say in a serious style. "Elva, you can go," I give her a stern glance because she insists on standing and staring like an idiot at the door.

Besides, today is her last day here. Stefan made sure to give her a spot in one of my other stores away from Colorado.

"Sit down. What can I do for you?" I ask her.

She lowers her head. I know that fucking look. When a chick becomes a victim of her feelings, she turns out so stupid that you can't even stand to see her.

You can't bear to see women with strong personalities either. You don't even know what you want yourself, the fucking voice says in my head.

Fucking damn me! What the fuck is wrong with me?

"Well, I hear you, Claudine," I say to get her out of the fucking contemplation she has fallen into.

"I don't know how to start," she says in a hushed voice, and I begin to get angry.

"Find the way, in any case. I haven't much time to waste," I raise my voice a little.

"I want you to believe me, Dorian. I'm really in love with you and..." she stops.

"And what do you want now, Claudine? Don't be pushy when you see that the other one doesn't want more things," I say to her straight away, so as not to send her to hell once and for all.

"What is interested in you is only sex?"

"It ain't your business what I do! Whatever the fuck I want, I'll do. You mean, any man you suck off you fall in love with him? Is that what you're telling me? Just to know to start laughing," I can't bear to hear more bollocks.

How stupid can these women be? She also came for the fuck and the money. Now she's trying to show me that she's falling in love with me. I feel like making puke.

"Listen, Claudine. If you continue to bother me like this, I'll have to get you out of here. Do you understand?" I'll pack her in with that other whore Elva if she fucking keeps up with her bollocks.

"You know what? Be careful, for not all women are the same. When a woman makes love to you, it doesn't mean that's all she wants from you. But your ego is huge and you can't love anything other than yourself," the bitch dares to say.

"I don't love myself, Claudine. I love having fun. And when there are chicks like you who come willingly to please me, it's not my fault. I'm not pushing anyone. You all come alone. Now get the hell out of here. Go teach some other asshole, not me," I growl.

"You have no heart, you don't-"

"Get the fuck out, I said! Before I change my mind and send you away once and for all."

My voice is motivating Stephan and Ridge to open the office door so they can check if anything is wrong with me.

Two more of my men are following them. I give a nod to the men that everything is under control. Claudine gets up and leaves in a rage. Stephan's about to close the office door when a hand sticks up and stops the closing.

I must have someone fucking kidding me, am I?

I see her again entering this office. Imperious, haughty, with an impenetrable glow on her face.

Bridget.

"Hello, Dorian. It's been a while," she tells me and comes closer with slow steps.

My anger and revenge flare up. I'm ready to kick her ass, but still, I'm fucking sitting in my chair.

"I hope your men will allow us to be alone for a while," Bridget speaks again, and the looks of my men waiting for my confirmation.

I'm not sure about that. If I'm alone with her, one of us won't get out of here alive. I'll fuck that bitch! I'll make her drain from fucking, and I'll humiliate her.

In my dirty and destructive mind, Reva puts over to invade like an air of serenity. Right now, she is the only one I care about.

I didn't treat her right, that's for sure. But for some reason, I don't want to lose her.

I wanted to know who alerted Bridget and came here.

The answer doesn't take long to come. The door opens again, and that cunt Elva comes in.

Two hookers are standing in front of me, and I'll face them both in any fucking way before I lose Reva and it's too late.

At last, the time passed, and the work in the court was over. The world has gone completely mad. Today the violations were more than on any other day. I sigh looking at the stacks of documents.

It's springtime, but it's still a little chilly yet. I'm wearing my jacket and dragging my steps toward the office door when my cell phone rings.

"Hey, Marinell, I just finished work, and I'm off," I tell her, grasping my purse.

"Reva, go straight home. I'll come over, too," she says almost panting.

"No, I won't go home. I have arranged to go over to the casino first to see Dorian."

"Please-" she tries to tell me, but someone grabs her phone by the hand.

"Reva, listen. Dorian is busy and won't be able to see you," I hear Ridge say uneasily.

"Go home and we will come over there," I hear Marinell again, and the call is ended.

What's wrong with these two now? I don't understand why they're stopping me from going to the casino. If Dorian had been busy, he would have texted me not to go. He wouldn't have anyone tell me, let alone Marinell. I can go and wait for him to finish his job. Besides, it won't be the first time I've done this.

Why did they try to stop me?

Again my stomach tightened sharply. If Ridge grabbed Marinell's cell phone to talk to me, that means she's already at the casino.

I swallow hard and decide not to listen to them and go to the casino. Their movements were suspicious, and that's already got me sitting on hot coals.

I am determined to face whatever awaits me.

Are you really ready? My inner voice asks.

It doesn't matter. We have to face every challenge. Hiding from my fears doesn't do any good. I've done it before, and I regretted not being able to rise to the occasion. I will not repeat this mistake.

When a mistake is repeated, it ceases to be a mistake. It's the character's attitude.

Whatever's gonna happen, it's gonna happen regardless of whether I'm scared or not. I get into the car bound for the casino.

As I get closer, the tightness in my stomach gets more and more intense. Calm down, I tell myself.

I long for the moment in the future when the bad experience will have passed, and I will be able to remember it without pain. I have already enlisted the defenses of my experience. I'm trying to make a recollection of an event of which I don't yet know its contents.

I miss my strong Self.