Kili woke up one morning feeling especially itchy. He shoved off his boring, medieval comforters and scratched his chin. And that's when he realized...

"OMD!!" he exclaimed ('Oh my Durin'). "I HAVE A BEARD!!"

 He raced into the living room, where Thorin was sitting with a cup of coffee by Balin.

"UNCLE, LOOK!!" he yelled.

His loud and startling movements made Thorin spill his coffee on Balin.
"AHH! That is very hot!!" shouted Balin, darting around, though he was really going one mile an hour.

"Kili, calm down a little," Thorin said, with a hint of majestic anger.

"Sorry, uncle. I just wanted to point out that I HAVE A BEARD!!" Kili yelled.

Thorin squinted at him. "Where?"

"Right here!!" Kili said, pointing at his chin.

"You mean that tiny, insignificant, fuzz right there??" asked Thorin.

"What do you mean?? It's practically as awesome as yours!" Kili said. "This makes me majestic at last, no?"

"No, it doesn't. Mine is eternally more majestic than yours. Yours is nothing compared to mine," replied Thorin.

Kili's eyes filled with tears. "But uncle...I...I.."

"Go easy on the lad, laddie," Balin said to Thorin, while trying to dry the coffee off his beard.

"You call everyone a lad, don't you??" Thorin said with a sigh.

Fili walked in. "Hey, bro, you finally got a beard!! Congrats!!"

"Fili, talk like a civilized Dwarf, will you??" Thorin said sternly. Then he sipped his coffee majestically.

"Fine, fine. Why are you crying, Kili?? I thought you'd be happy!!" Fili exclaimed.

"Thorin thinks my beard is worthless!!" Kili wailed. "It's not fair. YOU have a beard. Balin has a beard. And we all know that Uncle has the one beard to rule them all!"

"Yes, that is true," said Thorin.

"So why can't I ever be majestic?!" complained Kili.

Thorin sighed. "Maybe you're right, Kili. You have tried hard to learn the art of majesty, and you have even grown a beard. Perhaps I am too enshrouded by my own majesty to see it. I hereby declare you...MAJESTIC!!"

...........................

        "YES!!!" Kili shouted, sitting straight up in bed. Then he glanced around. "...I'm in my room," he observed.
 Then he quickly felt his chin. He felt the same old stubble that was always there.
"YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!" he screamed.

Just then, the door opened. Thorin's majestic head peeped around the corner.
"Something the matter, Kili?" he asked.

"Not really. Just majesty problems," replied Kili.

"I see. Well, good luck with that," said Thorin, closing the door. Then he shook his head. "If only he would just learn...there is only one true bearer of majesty on this earth!"