A/N: Hello guys! I don't really have much to say here, so here's the next chapter!
Johnny's POV:
I close my math book, and set down my pencil. Finally, my homework is finished. Setting my head down on the rough surface of my desk, I close my eyes. I'm hoping to just rest them for a few minutes, but I fail, and fall asleep almost instantly.
I might've slept for hours, if it wasn't for the loud bang of the front door being thrown open, followed by the boisterous voice of my father cursing everything under the sun. Even from my room, I can hear him stumbling through the house, knocking stuff over and breaking things.
I rub my eyes groggily and sit up, deciding that if my dad is drunk and angry, I want to be alert. Suddenly the door slams, and the house is quite once more. Did he leave, thinking no one else was here?
In answer to my question, a crash sounds from the kitchen, followed by another string of profanities from my father. "JONATHAN! GET YOUR LAZY A** OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!"
I inwardly cringe. I don't really want to be knocked around again today, once by those couple of Socs was enough. At least then Elena was there to stick up for me. I wish she was here now, to help me. She wouldn't let my father hurt me. Hell, Elena wouldn't let anyone hurt me if she could help it. She'd beat the tar out of anyone who laid a hand on me. Elena's an amazing friend. Well, actually, I think that she's just an amazing girl in general. Beautiful. Smart. Kind. Elena's not perfect, but in my opinion, she's as close to perfect as you are gunna get around here. She's perfect for me. Man, how I wish I could call her mine, but I doubt that she feels the same way.
I push back my wooden chair, and, suddenly scared, inch out of my small bedroom. Taking tentative steps down the hallway, I enter the living room, and my eyes widen with fear.
My dad looks livid. His eyes are blazing like a fire, mouth is screwed up in a snarl, and his stance just looks menacing. I gulp when I see that he already has his belt out. Man, this is not going to end well for me, I can tell you that.
"Get over here you little s***," he practically growls at me.
Putting up the emotionless mask I always use when getting beaten, I walk over to my dad. He shoves me into the wall, which catches me off guard. He's too drunk to remember to make me take my clothes off, so when he belts me, it's not quite as bad as I'm used to.
Although, it's not the physical abuse that's been getting to me lately, I'm used to that. It's what he's been saying to me... I try to mentally prepare myself for it, but I am in no way prepared for what he says next.
He kicks me in the ribs. First once, then twice, then a third time, calling me every single hurtful name he can think of. Trash. Worthless. Unwanted. The list goes on and on...
He belts me again, seething. "CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU? NO ONE DOES! YOU'RE PATHETIC AND UNWANTED! I'M ASHAMED TO CALL YOU MY SON!"
Tears prick at the corners of my eyes, but I blink them back. He grabs the collar of my blue jeans jacket, hauls me up off of the floor, and then pins me to the wall, forcing me to look him in the eyes. He slaps me hard across the face, and what he says next tears my heart into a million tiny peices. "YOU'RE A WORTHLESS PEICE OF TRASH! A DISGRACE TO THIS FAMILY! NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU, BOY, WHEN WILL YOU GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL? NO ONE EVER HAS, AND NO ONE EVER WILL! NOT YOUR TEACHERS, NOT YOUR FRIENDS, NOT YOUR MOTHER, AND CERTAINLY NOT ME! NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY DAMN HOUSE, BOY! YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!!!!"
Tears well up in my eyes, but I force them back once more. I won't let him have the satisfaction of seeing me cry, knowing that he got to me.
When he releases me, I don't say a word, I just glare at him. Angry and upset, I turn on my heel, and just walk out the door. I storm down the street, eyes blazing with anger at my father. Anger, but not hatred. I could never hate him, he's my dad after all. I know that I should, but I just can't...
I'm still fighting back the tears when I get to the lot. Is it true? That everyone thinks I'm trash? Worthless? My dad words whirl around in my head, making it even harder not to just break down and cry.
I kick around some rocks out of pure frustration. Does no one really care about me? I know that my parents don't, but the gang does right? Right?! Or do they just want me dead? No, they can't...they're my friends, aren't they? My head whirls with thoughts, and not being able to hold them back any longer, the tears start to flow down my face like a river. And what about Elena? I'm sure she cares about me, right? She punched that Soc for me earlier, didn't she? She did do that, right? Or am I just imagining things? Maybe no one does care about me...
The anger that was coursing through my veins just a moment ago having left my system, my body is left with only sadness. Feeling utterly hopeless and empty inside, I sink to the ground. I pull my knees up to my chest and bury my face in my arms. I feel so alone, and like I'm completely worthless. Like I don't even deserve to live anymore.
A sob tears through my body, but I don't try to stop it. To be honest, at the moment, I don't really care. I couldn't stop crying even if I wanted to. I'm hurt too bad mentally, to have any control over my emotions, so I just let myself cry.
Sobs wrack my chest, loud sobs, but I doubt that anyone is around to care. Not that anyone would care anyways...
It's starting to get dark out now, and a little bit cold, but I don't care. I don't even move. My chest aches from the sobs, but I do nothing to stop them. Let me freeze to death out here! No one will care anyways!
I'm worthless, just like my dad said that I am.
A/N: Awww, poor Johnnycakes. We care about ya' Johnny, don't we guys? Anyways, so, I'm pretty busy tomorrow so I might not update until Sunday or Monday. Sorry. Anyways, the next chapter will be happier than this, I promise! Until next time guys! :)