We were driving back from school today-
Tana had asked me if I was excited for the P!nk concert we were going to at some point, and then after she just says something like this:
"You know how lucky you are to get to do all of these things, right? Your friends don't do these things often."

That kinda got me thinking, for some reason-

I'm not sure if I really believe in luck?
I mean, I've only experienced one moment of true luck; when Solum didn't reject me after I confessed to her
Any other time, there's always something bad to counteract it, so, doesn't that outweigh the luck?

For example
Sure, I get to do a lot of things, but what about family-wise?
Mom died, then Tana got shoved in to replace her
It's been almost 4 years, and I don't even know if I've gotten over her death yet
Plus, he didn't even ask me. Dad's happy, but I'm not

My friends are the lucky ones here; they didn't have to go through this.. they didn't have to go through the pain of waiting in a hospital, wondering if your mother would be okay
They don't have to watch their mom slowly get replaced by somebody who would never live up to her name

The only reason we pulled through before is because dad has a good job and he's stronger than I am

But, now, I guess it's better.. but for a price

This isn't what luck is supposed to feel like

Luck, for me, is just mockery at this point
*shrugs* I don't know

Because how can you be lucky if the bad outweighs the good?