I can't see much because Trelix's wings block most of my view, but I can tell when we gallop over the bridge and inside the castle walls. I catch glimpses of curious elves lining the streets, but I can't make eye contact with the spectators. I killed one of their own. I can't handle the scorn and disdain I know I'll see on their faces.

Trelix rides fast until we're at the castle steps. As soon as he stops, an elf plucks me off the unicorn. Without warning, Trelix picks me up and carries me to my room. I can't decide if I like it. Jonah gives me piggyback rides, but Trelix carries me like I'm a baby. The grim faces of the elves following us remind me of my reality. I stop thinking about myself.

The guards stop at my door, but Trelix marches inside and puts me down on my feet. Albína runs to me.

"Are you alright?" she says, beginning her examination.

"She's in shock," Trelix answers.

I nod to Albína and try to push past her. I don't know where I'm going. I just don't want her touching me.

"Come on, let's clean you up," Albína says, gently guiding me toward the bathroom.

I mechanically follow her but freeze when I see my reflection in the mirror. My hands and arms are coated in gore. Blood is smeared across my chest and legs. And my black boots are red. I left bloody footprints across the floor. My face and hair have a spattering of blood, and crimson tearstains streak down my cheeks.

I bring my hands up to my face to examine the evidence of my selfishness. Then I look down at my body. This is my blood and Lenox's, the creature's, and the elf's. So much blood. An image of the lifeless elf flashes across my brain. He bravely stood there and defended me, knowing he was going to die.

I look at Trelix in the mirror. "That elf that saved my life. He's dead now." I whisper. "This is my fault. I killed that elf and badly injured Lenox."

"She was alive when we left," Trelix says.

I don't listen to him. That elf can't survive injuries like that.

"Do you know his name?" I ask. This will lead to a lecture one day about how humans are obsessed with names, but I want to put a name to the person who had offered his life for mine.

"Her name is Solara."

I nod reflexively. Solara is an odd name for a man, but elves are weird. I'd never judge anyone as brave and courageous as Solara. I'm alive because of him. I keep picturing him lying under that monster, both of them dead.

"What were those creatures?"

"Gryphons."

I nod again.

"Okay, that's enough," Albína says, as she gently places her hand on my shoulder. "Trelix, you need to leave now so I can get her cleaned up."

Warm water splashing down my face, and body wakes me from my trance. How long have I been standing in the tub? Not long; Albína has just started to hose off the gore.

I can see and hear everything that's happening, but it's like I'm watching it happen to someone else. It doesn't feel real. My mind and body have separated.

Pink water pools around my feet, and I wonder whose blood it is. I picture Solara's dead body and Lenox's gaping wound. I see the gryphon with the arrow in its eye, charging at us.

"All righty now, sit," Albína says quietly.

The rosy water is gone, and the bath is full of fresh hot water. She rewashes my body and hair, and the water turns pastel pink.

"There now, up you go," Albína coos. She puts a warm nightgown on me and sits me in a chair so she can tend my wounds. "Let's take a look at that thigh."

She wraps a bandage around my leg and examines the puncture wound under my left shoulder blade. "This one's not as bad. I can seal it up nice. It's going to be sore for a few days."

She turns me around, and I see Jonah pacing on the other side of the room. He's walking through both sofas and the coffee table, so I know he's not actually here. "Jonah's calling," I say.

"He's going to have to wait," she says with a huff. She must be more concerned about my wounds than she's letting on because Jonah scares her, so she tries very hard to never upset him.

I don't mind the wait. I'm afraid to face him. He's been telling me I'm in danger. And that I need to pay attention and listen, but I was too stupid to understand.

"Alright. How do you feel?" Albína asks.

I stare at her. I don't feel anything.

Her eyes water, but she clears her throat and takes a deep breath. "Well, let's not keep Sir Jonah waiting." She hands me the pareixer.

"Are you alright?" he asks as soon as he can see me. There's worry in his voice and concern in his eyes.

I nod.

Jonah pauses to study my ashen face and unresponsiveness. He slows his speaking. "Are you injured?"

I shake my head and give an almost inaudible, "My thigh hurts. I punctured my back and sprained my knee."

Jonah takes a deep breath, and some of the tension releases from his face. He opens his mouth to say something but stops himself and takes another deep breath. He studies me from my toes to my hair. Satisfied that I'm uninjured, he says, "I spoke to Trelix and Master Sarpedon. They said you were not badly hurt. I needed to see for myself that you were alright."

"I'm okay," I say weakly. Then I announce, "I killed Solara and Lenox!" I start to cry, and Jonah reaches for me before he remembers he can't.

He looks heartbroken and gently whispers, "No. The gryphons hurt them, but they're both still alive. You did not kill anybody. This is not your fault."

I don't want anyone making this okay for me. If I'd paid attention to what everyone was trying to tell me, I could've helped Solara, or at least not acted like a baby and runoff in the first place.

"I'm so happy you are fine. Can you tell me what happened?" Jonah asks.

"I went for a walk, and then the gryphons came, and then Solara died, and Lenox got really hurt," I say in a rush. Before Jonah can respond, I add, "I'm tired, and I want to go to bed now. I'll talk to you later. Bye."

I release the pareixer without letting Jonah respond. He stands and stares at me, but I turn away from him. I'm numb throughout my body, and it's spreading to my brain. It hurts to think. I'm mad at Jonah for being happy. I will never be happy again. I will never feel anything again.

Jonah gives up and disappears. I follow Albína to the bed, but when I'm about to get in, I stop. "I don't want to be here without Lenox."

"Lenox is recuperating. He's sleeping, and you should sleep too."

I shake my head. "Why are you trying to keep me away from him? You know he's dying, and you don't want to tell me! You say he's fine when he's obviously not fine." My heart is racing, and my hands tingle from my rapid breathing. I need to see him now!

I rush to the door, and Albína tries to stop me. "Where are you going?" she asks calmly.

"I need to see Lenox," I say. My panic is making my voice strong. When Albína puts her hands on me, I know she'll force me to stay. "I need to see him!" I shout. "I need to see him. Now!"

Albína puts her hands up and nods. "Alright, we'll go see him."

I don't wait. I walk past Albína and open my door to find two elves in front of it. This confirms that they're keeping me away from him. He's dead, and they were never going to tell me.

"Where is he!" I scream. "Where have you taken him? What have you done!"

The guards are confused by my outburst. I turn to Albína for answers. "Where is he! Why are you hiding him from me?"

"I'm not hiding him from you. You're just moving faster than I can," she says calmly. "He's in the uniquestrian center."

I shove my way past the guards and run. Albína and the guards chase after me. I tear through the castle and down the lane toward the stables. I'm not wearing shoes. Fresh injuries slash and stab my feet as I step on sharp stones and rough pavement. The pain is irrelevant. I must get to Lenox.

When I reach the stables, I have no idea which barn they're keeping him in. I run until I find a groom, but before I even reach him, he waves and points to the far stable.

I race past stalls and grooms, and as I get closer to the last barn, the stalls are empty. There's not a unicorn or a groom around. This is where they're storing Lenox's dead body.

There's a groom by the last barn who is waving vigorously to me and pointing down the aisle. When I reach him, he runs with me until he abruptly stops at the middle stall. I look in and see Lenox's body sprawled out on his side with his unblinking eyes half-open.