Soda looked at the box and back at me. "What's in here?" He asked.

'My secrets.'

I wrote. I dug through the box and found my journal, and gave it to him. He opened it and read my first entry out loud.

"This was last year." He said as he looked at the date.

-

"I was at school today, and I didn't like it. There were mean kids there, and when I tried to be nice, I waved at one of the mean kids, and they pushed me around and called me 'white trash.'

I felt bad. I even had to sit alone at lunch. All the kids in my class would laugh at me if I didn't answer a question or if I walked past them. Since I couldn't sit with anyone at lunch, I had to eat with the teacher in the classroom.

When the kids came in, they laughed at me because they said I had no friends. During class I tried to ignore it, but they kept throwing stuff at me and calling me names.

They said I was weird just because I didn't talk. So what if I can't talk? I've met people with no arms or legs and their not weird to me!

I felt lonely and didn't want to go back. I wanted to tell Soda because he always makes me feel better, but I just couldn't. I didn't come down for dinner tonight either, I laid in bed and cried.

Two-Bit tried cheering me up, but not even his jokes helped, and I always laughed at his jokes. He never found out why I was upset though.

Pony read to me, Two-Bit joked, Steve and Soda wrestled, but no matter what they did, it couldn't fill the emptiness I felt inside.

I even told Darry I didn't want to go back, but he thought I was just being a kid. He told me Pony never wanted to go back either but look at him now, star of the track team, Honor student, and voted smartest kid in school.

Pony was different, he could always talk and play with other kids. I never could. I hated how I didn't have the privilege to enjoy life like the other kids.

All I needed were my brothers and I'd be okay. But school changed that. Now I need my brothers... And a friend.

One friend was all I asked for, but nobody ever stopped to say hi to the 'mute' girl. I cry almost every night asking myself why I couldn't just be normal, like other kids.

Then I realized that did nothing.

Because it got me no where."

It read. Soda looked up at me, worried. "This happened? Why didn't you tell us Fizz?"

I didn't realize I was crying. I started crying harder and I hugged Soda with all I had, longing for my brothers arms around me.

His arms were my protection from the outside world, and that's why I always needed at least one of my brothers or gang members with me at all times. I needed someone that loved me and understands me.

'I was scared... I'm sorry Soda I know I should've told you but I just couldn't.'

I scribbled. A tear or two fell form my face and blurred the words as it sunk in. He looked at me and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Liz,"

That's the first time in forever he's called me Liz, so I knew this was serious.

"I'm not mad at you, and neither is Darry or Pony. We're just worried about you. It's not your fault alright? I'll always be there if you need me, and if you have a problem, will you promise me you'll tell me?"

I hesitated for a minute before slowly nodding. "Can you say something for me?"

I shook my head.

'I'm sorry Soda.'

"Don't apologize, Fiz, you didn't do anything wrong. You can always trust us to be there for you if you need us, alright?"

I nodded. I stood up and me and Soda went back to drawing our pictures, when he said I should add me to the gang. I kind of smiled and wiped away the rest of my tears as I drew.

---

Time went by, and after about half an hour I finished drawing myself. "That's beautiful Fizzy, what do you say we hang that up by the door so everyone can see it?"

I smiled and nodded. After we hung it up, Soda showed me his drawing. He drew a picture of me with a big heart around it saying; "We love you Fizzy!"

---

I kept his picture on my nightstand and decided to skip dinner again tonight and go to bed early, I had my first day of school tomorrow and was hoping to change my luck I've had over the past few years.

'Goodnight Soda.'

"Goodnight Fiz, I love you."

'I love you too.'