It didn't hurt him much considering I was seven, but he stumbled back a little considering the beer did something to his head. He looked angry.

"Get them!" He slurred. His friends stood up and ran like zombies as Soda sprinted down the street towards our house. He panted as he ran and I tugged at his shirt, telling him I could run if that helped.

"No Fizzie, you wouldn't be able to keep up." He said between pants. I looked behind us and saw they were catching up, so I pushed out of Soda's grip and ran as fast as I could.

I pretty sure it helped him take some weight off his arms, which allowed him to run faster. I ran past him and he eventually caught up when we made it home.

I shut the gate behind us and Soda jumped it as he grabbed my hand and ran inside. He chugged a whole glass of water in seconds and sat down on the couch.

"Fizz, what were you doing at Buck's? Me and Darry told you never to go there!"

His voice seemed to rise a little and I backed away. "Look, Fizzie I'm not mad, alright? I'm just worried about you being out there by yourself." He said.

I hugged him and he wrapped his big hands around my head, and I pulled away after a few seconds and ran to my room. I grabbed my notebook and pen and came back.

'I'm sorry Soda... I was worried about you guys. I didn't know when you'd be home and I got scared.'

He sighed. "It's alright Fizz, just don't do it again."

'What were you guys talking about? Were you talking about me?'

He looked at the notepad for a few seconds before answering. "You know I don't like to lie to you, Fizz. And I don't want to lie to you, but I don't think I should talk about it with you right now."

I gave him a sad look.

'Please Soda.'

I gave him the pad and curled up in his lap and hugged him with all my might. I produced fake tears so I could convince him.

I gave him my best pleading look and he eventually gave in. "I'm sorry Fiz, we were talkin' about you. But we wanna help you. Why won't you talk to us?"

He asked. I only shrugged.

'I dont know... I just don't feel like I can.'

He kind smirked a little, but in a sad way. "Fizz, you know you can talk to us, right? Me, Darry and Pony will always be there to talk to you if you need us."

I shook my head yes. "Fizz, can you say yes? Just for me?"

I sighed and looked down. I shook my head no.

'I'm sorry Soda.'

I wrote. He frowned. "Don't be sorry hun, it's alright. I won't tell Darry you were there but you gotta promise me you won't go there anymore."

I stuck out my pinky and he did the same and we both smiled. After that I crossed my heart too, and he did the same. I hugged my big brother and felt happy to be home.

'I love you Soda.'

I wrote. "I love you too." He smiled. He took me back in my room and you would think that a kid my age would play with dolls and such, like all the other kids, but instead, Soda drew pictures with me.

I drew a picture of the whole gang, but I wasn't in it though. I think Soda drew a car, he said it was a Ferrari and one day when he had enough money, he was gonna get one.

I showed him my picture and pointed at one of the small people, and then at Soda. "That's me?" He laughed. I smiled and nodded my head. "Why am I wearing a helmet?" He asked.

'Because you like drag races and I want you to be safe.'

I wrote. He smiled in return and hugged me. "Well where's you?"

'I'm not on here. I kind of think they think I'm weird, like the other kids, since I can't talk.'

"Aww they don't think your weird, Fizzie, they love you to death."

I put my drawing down and decided I could trust Soda, my big brother who I know can keep a secret, enough to show him my journal.

I wouldn't let anyone read it because it's kind of like my diary. I'd really like Soda to know though so maybe he'll talk Darry into not making me go to this "therapy" thing.

'Soda? Can I show you something...?'

"Of course you can."

I got up and slowly walked to my closet, and since I was too short, I got on his back and pulled down a box from the top shelf.

I opened up the lid, and sitting in the middle of all the junk, was all my personal, forever kept secrets.