| CHAPTER TEN
| that's what actors do

ɴᴏʟᴀɴ ᴍᴜʟʟᴇɴ

What I didn't know when I got to the audition, was that this was supposed to be a callback. I had never sent in an audition tape. I could only guess why they let me audition anyway.

"Nolan Mullen," the woman whom I assumed was the casting director said when I entered the room. She looked at me through her small glasses, but her face lit up as she saw me like I was some kind of miracle. "You're Brad's kid, aren't you?"

"Uh, yeah," I said, lowering my head as I stared at the piece of paper in my hands.

"We used to be friends. How is he?"

"I don't know," I said. My dad and I didn't talk much. He'd call every once in a while. I also didn't want to waste the limited time they had on chitchat, so I simply let it go.

The man sat next to the casting director on her left coughed awkwardly. "You're eighteen?"

"Yeah," I said. This wasn't my first audition, but it might as well have been with the way I was acting.

"Okay then. Whenever you're ready."

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, pretending like there weren't three other people in the room. For a moment there was only one.

"What are you doing?" I asked, delivering my first line with a subtle smirk.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know you were out here."

"Nah," I said nonchalantly, the word followed by a chuckle. "I know what you're doing. You're sneaking out."

"Shut up," the reader said.

"Where are you going?"

"None of your business."

It didn't help that the reader was so monotonous, but I assumed they must've been an important person in the production.

"Mrs. Knight!" I called out loudly.

"Shut up!" The reader called out more loudly, but still as bland as before. "If you tell them, I'll tell your dad you were smoking pot in the alleyway behind school yesterday."

"Where are you going?" I asked, long pauses between each word to pressure the other character into telling me.

"I'm going to Wesley's, alright?"

"Wes?" My eyebrows raised, and I kept the smile on my face to faux amusement, although there was clearly an underlying feeling beneath the line. Confusion? Betrayal? "Why?"

"Please don't tell anyone. Our entire plan will fall apart."

"Are you cheating on me, Kaelin?" My eyes narrowed, the smile of faux amuse my growing more forced: jealousy.

"We're not really dating."

"Right," I said, forcing out a chuckle, as though trying to make it sound real. "Whatever. I won't tell anyone."

"Thank you," the reader said, finally with some expression in their voice.

"It's not free. You owe me now," I said, crossing my arms as I looked them up and down.

"I don't owe you shit."

"Hm, I think you do." Now a smirk was playing on my lips.

"You thought wrong. I'm going to see Wesley. Bye."

"Wait, Kaelin, come on. What do you even like about him? He's a douchebag."

"Not to me. He loves me."

I huffed. "Loves you? He 'loved' Penelope a week ago. I thought you two were friends?"

"It's none of your business. Are you jealous or something?"

My face heated up like I'd truly just been embarrassed.

"No, of course not," I said, rolling my eyes. "We're friends now, aren't we? I'm looking out for you."

"Don't. Bye, Beckett."

"Wai-" but the character had already walked away.

"Oh wow," the reader said. I saw it as my cue to break character. "If I'm being honest, that shit was trippy."

I didn't know whether to take it as an insult or a compliment, so I just said nothing at all.

"Have you ever read the book?" The man next to the casting director said.

"No," I said, shaking my head. In all fairness, I knew nothing about this movie, so naturally, I didn't know it was based on a book.

"Have you read any of Clarke's other books?"

"Riley Clarke?"

"That's me." The reader, apparently also the writer. I knew they must've been important in one way or another.

"I read The City in Color when I was like... fourteen."

"Interesting," they said. "How did you like it?"

"It was my favorite," I said with a smile. It was a perfect romance, something I wanted so badly back then. "I had a signed copy."

It seemed like something clicked as they looked at me. "Your dad got it for your fifteenth birthday! Right. I remember getting the email from my publisher. I thought it was a scam."

"We should probably finish this up," the casting director said.

"I'll take him."

"I think we should—"

"Congrats, you got the part."

"Riley..."

"He's perfect. Did you guys not see what I just saw? It was like he disappeared and became Beckett."

"That's what actors do," the man behind them said.

"Yet he's the only one who showed up that could actually do it. He and Maria would be perfect."

"We could do a chemistry reading. There will be an intimacy coordinator. We'll send you the details," the casting director said.

I nodded. "Uhm, alright. Thank you," I said, leaving the room as quickly as I could. I fumbled with my pockets to pull out my keys and made my way to the parking lot. As soon as I finally sat down in my chair, I let out a deep breath.

I got the part. It maybe wasn't a unanimous decision, but I got it.

Mom:
How did it go?

My mom had texted me before I even went in. But now I could finally reply.

You:
I think I got it

As expected, she didn't see the message straight away, so I drove home.

•••

"How would it be an issue?" Keith asked. I'd just told him and Ava about the audition and meeting the author of one of my favorite books. Somehow the conversation steered towards gay actors and me being one. "They're looking for diversity in the media, aren't they?"

"Not everywhere," I said. "It would be fine for getting jobs from one studio maybe, but I'll be avoided at the next. I rather keep my options open." And I didn't have a boyfriend yet, so what would it matter?

"I hate to say it, but you're forgetting you're a nepo baby, Nolan. You being gay probably won't be that big of a deal for your castability."

"I don't even talk to my dad anymore."

"Then hide that. Not your sexuality."

"He has a point. No one needs to know you got daddy issues," Ava said. I rolled my eyes, but smiled anyway at the way she said it. "But if you're not ready to come out, that's fine too."

"I know. That's not it." I just didn't want all the attention on me for god knows how long. But they wouldn't understand. "Or maybe it is. I don't know. Can we talk about something else?"

"How's your boyfriend?" Ava asked. I rolled my eyes.

"He's not my boyfriend. We can talk about you guys."

"Our lives aren't as interesting," Keith said.

"You guys are in art schools in New York. There's been movies about you. I just portray them on the big screen."

"Which is exactly why it's not interesting. You know how it goes," Ava said.

"Wanna see what I made?" Keith asked, already disappearing to his closet.

"Is it finished? Because last time you wanted to show us something, you ended up flashing us," Ava reminded him.

"I was wearing nude underwear!" he yelled from the closet. I rolled my eyes and laughed, and he came back just a little bit later.

He twirled around in a bright orange denim jacket.

"It hurts my eyes," I told him.

"I know! Sick right?"

"Very sick," Ava said. "I don't love the color, but at least it has plenty of pockets."

My phone buzzed with a message, and I checked it out.

Oakley:
How about we get some lunch first?

I sent him about three messages back immediately after, but he didn't reply, so I thought maybe we would simply go for ice cream some other day. Or never, even.

I bit my lip as I read the reply he eventually sent me, Keith and Ava both becoming background noise.

You:
Lunch sounds good. Where do we meet up?

Oakley:
I'll pick you up. What's your address?

You:
You really don't have to

Oakley:
I'm out anyway, it's no big deal

I stared the message down, and even blinked ferociously to check if my eyes were reading this correctly. We barely knew each other, yet he liked me enough to pick me up. It might've not been a big deal to most people, but when you are followed around by paparazzi all day every day, you don't share these details quickly.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't hesitate. It was in my nature after all. But I ignored that eerie feeling in the pit of my stomach and sent him my address anyway. He replied almost instantly.

Oakley:
I'll be there in fifteen minutes

"I gotta go," I told my friends. "I'll call you guys maybe later, or tomorrow."

"Bye," Ava said, throwing up a peace sign. Keith waved, and then I hung up.

| AUTHOR'S NOTE

It was so hot today wtf.
How are y'all enjoying summer?

•••