"What?"

You choked on your own spit. The moment the word ghosted past your lips, you froze in shock. Your mug slipped through your grasp, hitting the table hard. Pieces of broken ceramic went flying as hot tea spilled into your lap. You yelped and jumped to your feet, the tea soaking into your skirt, sticking to your skin uncomfortably.

Rin's heartbeat sped up in panic, and he reached over to your side of the table to pick up the pottery.

Despite the burning of tea on your legs, you slapped the back of his hand. "Don't touch it! You'll cut yourself!" You scolded him like a mother would. Like your mother would.

He slowly retreated, what might have been confusion mixed in with his otherwise worried expression.

You sighed and pressed a paper towel to your skirt to dry it after sweeping up the broken pottery pieces.

"You should be more careful," you chided. "You could've cut your finger."

"Sorry," he mumbled, a hint of shame to his voice for not realizing sooner.

You threw the ceramic shards away and dried the rest of the tea up with a towel.

He seemed downcast, like your reaction was the only response he was going to get from his confession.

You looked away so you wouldn't have to see how sad he was. "I don't understand why you'd choose me out of every other girl out there," you nearly whispered, but he heard you.

"I don't really have a reason," he replied, shifting his posture as he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "I just felt...drawn to you, you know? Like we were meant to be."

You scoffed and rolled your eyes, but you felt the same. There was something pulling you to him. You just didn't know why.

"Cliché," you sighed. "Fate isn't real, Rin. Grow up."

You hated the venomous tone to your voice; the poisonous words dripping from the mouth you so wished for once you could close.

"But it is real!" He replied with such an eager, hopeful expression that made your heart flutter. "It just...it just feels like you're my soulmate! I've never felt this way with anyone, before!"

You were silent for a moment, his words sinking in like an old, silken remedy for the sick.

You could feel your once dry, desert-like heart flooded by an ocean of his words.

You didn't know why you wanted to love Rin. You couldn't understand why part of you wanted to let him love you until there was nothing left of you for him to love.

"Y'see, I talked to Shiemi and asked her what this feeling is," he grinned, and you felt as though something was squeezing your heart as another girl's name was said with his perfect voice, passing through his perfect lips.

You clenched your jaw, jealousy burning its way through your being. "Yeah?" You growled out, hoping he wouldn't notice your anger, "what did she say?"

"She said its gotta be love!" He knelt down so he was level with you. "You see, (Y/N), I really do love you!"

His words struck you like an arrow, and you gazed up at his innocent expression through your eyelashes, a big smile etched into his features.

You tried to stop the smile appearing on your own face, not wanting him to see you happy because of a few words he probably didn't mean.

"You don't," you whispered, "you're lying."

"I'm not! I promise!" His smile faded, and once again the chains of guilt tugged at your heart. "See, I'm always thinking about you! And I can't help but stare at you, and want to make you happy..." he trailed off, mumbling as he babbled on.

You felt heat rush to your face, painting your cheeks bright with blush. Did he really mean what he said? You were hesitant to trust him, as you were with everyone.

But he wasn't everyone.

He was the big goofball that sat at the front of the classroom and fell asleep five minutes into every lesson. The boy you always felt your gaze drifting to. The one who managed to steal your heart with the first word he uttered to you, and you didn't want it back.

You opened your mouth to reply, to tell him you felt the same, but the only thing that came from you was more poison you didn't mean.

"I don't believe you."

"You don't have to," he smiled softly, but it seemed disappointed. You wanted to slap yourself across the face. "I know that I'll get you to fall for me."

"Like hell you will," you puffed, hating yourself for not saying the words you should've said.

He sighed and stood up. "I'm sorry."

You looked up, confusion drawn on your face like it had been written in stone.

"If I did something to hurt you," he looked away, pushing his hair out of his face with his hand, running it through his locks.

You wanted to say no, to tell him everything was fine, to whisper to him how you didn't mind if he hurt you, but you didn't trust yourself to speak again.

He stood there for a moment longer, eyes begging you for a response as they glistened and shone, filled with tears.

You felt your words catch in your throat, but they weren't the words you wanted to say.

Discouraged, he turned away, not even bothering to look over his shoulder at you as you sat there on the ground, limbs numb, regret staining your features.

"I guess I'll just go. Sorry for hurting you with my feelings."

You could've sworn you saw a tear slip down his cheek as he walked out, despite part of you not wanting to believe it.

You didn't want to admit that you made him cry because you couldn't answer his confession.

You didn't think you'd damage him so much, and it scared you. You didn't want that much influence on another human being.

He closed the door behind him as he walked out, heading back to his own dorm.

You sat there in silence until you could no longer hear his footsteps down the hallway.

Your shoulders started shaking, then the rest of you. You brought your trembling hands to your face as you felt tears spill down your cheeks.

Why were you crying? Why did it hurt so much to watch him leave?

You cried harder than you ever had, a scream clawing its way out your throat, but you choked it back. Hiccups started to shake you to your core, and you wiped at your eyes desperately.

When your sobbing died down, you managed to get to your feet and stumble down the hallway to your dorm room.

You collapsed on your bed, but didn't sleep that night.

You skipped school for two months after the incident, too horrified to go to class and see Rin.

It was the first morning of the third month since it all went down when you managed to muster enough courage to return to class.

You pushed your cram school key into the lock of your bedroom and turned the knob. On the other side of the door was the familiar dark hallway to the classroom.

You clutched your bag closer to you, hands shaking as you walked down the corridor, the creaking of the floor beneath your feet seeming to echo off the walls as you made your way to the classroom.

You took a deep breath and pushed the door open slowly, eyes scanning the room as people turned to see who arrived.

Yukio was not yet in the classroom, you noted before your gaze landed on Rin.

Your heart dropped to your stomach at the sight you saw before you.

A new girl, one you hadn't seen before, who had long, brown hair and beautiful blue eyes was sitting directly beside Rin. She had his arm hugged to her chest, her pale cheeks flushed as she laughed at a joke Rin had told her.

The noise in the room fell silent. You couldn't hear it anymore, even though they were still talking.

Rin was smiling at the girl with so much love in his eyes it killed you inside. It was unbearable to watch him lean down and kiss her cheek, earning gentle laughter from her.

You stood there only a second longer as hot tears of betrayal and anger slid down your cheeks. You slammed the door shut and ran.

Why did you feel betrayed? Rin was never yours to begin with.

You wanted to get away.

You squeezed your eyes shut, fighting back the tears that already began to fall.

You hadn't been watching where you had been going at all, crashing right into Yukio.

Papers scattered everywhere and coated the ground like freshly fallen snow.

"Sorry," a soft apology slipped past your lips, the word shaking with your voice as you started collecting the papers for him.

"(Y/N)," he began, helping you gather the sheets, "the classroom is in the opposite direction."

He meant it to be a friendly reminder, nothing more. He probably assumed you'd forgotten after disappearing for two months.

"I'm not going," you mumbled under your breath.

"Oh? Why not?" Just a hint of confusion laced his tone.

"The new girl," you answered, placing a neat pile of papers in his hands. You got to your feet, not wanting to give any further explanations, nor wanting to hear more questions.

You apologized once more for bumping into him before resuming your running.

You hated running, but it seemed to help you think more rationally.

Who was that girl? Was she dating Rin? Didn't Rin like you? What happened?

You felt your regrets crawling on your back.

You wish you had told him your feelings so that stranger wouldn't be where you should've been.

You wished you hadn't said what you did. Maybe things would've turned out differently if you had.

You wished you didn't hate yourself and your life as much as you did in the moment.

You concentrated on the echoing of your shoes as they clicked against the floor. You didn't stop until you found yourself at the end of the corridor.

You were on the complete other side of the cram school, yet you still didn't feel far enough away from Rin.

You knew you had a reason to hate him before you even knew what that reason was.

Your breathing was heavy as you wiped beads of sweat off your forehead. You leaned back against the wall that ended the hallway, trying to use your remaining strength just to keep yourself standing.

You stared at the ceiling as your thoughts attempted to arrange themselves in some sort of understandable order for roughly an hour or so.

The only time you stopped thinking so hard was when you heard the door to the cram school classroom open.

If you squinted, you could see the students pour out of the classroom as the lunch bell rang.

You saw Rin exit last, the same girl hugged tightly to his side.

You felt so inferior. She was beautiful, perfect, and suited Rin better than you ever could.

Even though you knew this, you couldn't help the part of you that wanted him to yourself.

She was smiling up at Rin, who was just a few inches taller than she was, and Rin had been returning the gesture.

The happiness spread across Rin's expression was more real in that moment than it had ever been with you.

You wished that for once you could swallow your pride and let him know that he was supposed to be yours, not some other girl's.

However, you knew that he deserved someone better than you, because you still refused to admit that you loved him.

But oh, god, did you love him more than your heart could take.

For what you could only hope was the last time, you felt tears roll down your cheeks as you watched from afar; the lips of the one you loved meet with ones that should've been yours.

You hated Rin.

------------------------<3

*Inhales Drama* I live off of the drama I write like it's oxygen, so enjoy this chapter.

Thank you everyone who's been voting and commenting! I really appreciate it!

Teiko_Kuroko~<3