No, no, no. This can't be happening. I wasn't supposed to fall for Thomas! This isn't the plan! How did this happen? I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Just think, I tell myself.

I started liking Thomas... That night he took me out. His dorkiness and mutual love of Star Wars won me over. Then of course, he took such good care of me when I was sick.

How could I let that happen? Last time I had feeling for a guy it was Michael and it ended horribly! Other than that brief moment of insanity when I agreed to go out with Caleb, but I fixed it. I went to a party, had a few drinks, and kissed Wayne in truth or dare. Problem solved.

Wait, what if I did that now? I could go party and have a drink or two. That could work. Yeah. Let's do that. I pull out my phone and dial a number.

"Hey, Kaylee," I say when she answers. "I was wondering if you know of any parties going on tonight?"

"Of course!" She exclaims. "Emma White is having a field party tonight."

"Great!" I say excitedly. I knew she was the one to call.

"I'll send you the address. Bye!"

"Okay! Thanks! Bye." I end the call. This will be perfect. I haven't been to a party since the end of summer.

***

I stagger up the sweeping staircase holding a bottle of vodka in one hand and a shot glass in the other, with Logan and Thomas following behind me worriedly.

"Jay, give me that bottle." Thomas demands.

"Eh no," I reply. I go to pour another shot of vodka and pause thoughtfully. I shrug and toss the glass behind me, hearing it shatter on the ground, and take a long drink straight from the bottle.

"Jesus, Jay." Thomas lets out a groan.

"I'll clean it up." Logan sighs.

I hum as I continue walking towards my destination. You are probably wondering how I got myself into this position. Well it all started earlier this evening...

***

It all started a couple of hours ago at the party I went to. Jordan was there and he convinced me to play never have I ever with some of his football friends and their girlfriends.

The game starts off bad for me. Everyone knows that if you've done it, you drink. Apparently I've done everything.

"Never have I ever worn a dress." Some lame guy says. Of course all the girls drink and surprisingly, two guys do as well.

"It was for a womanless beauty pageant." One of the drinkers explains.

Next a petite nerdy looking girl, who seemed very timid, says, " Never have I ever kissed someone in school."

I smirk and take another shot. I've done that loads of times. Jordan grins at me and took his shot as well. The questions progress with me drinking for most of them.

"Never have I ever been expelled."

I took a shot.

"Never have I ever snuck out."

Another shot.

"Never have I ever been to Hawaii."

Another shot.

By the time everyone has taken a turn, I have taken at least ten shots. My mind starts to grow fuzzy so I drop out and went to get some water to help me sober up. I drain the bottle and turn around to go find Jordan again, when I ran into someone I know. Literally.

"Hi Thomas! I missed you sooo much!" I exclaim wrapping my arms around him. I am a overly emotional and excited drunk. "I haven't seen you in a long long time. Like a hundred hours!" I exaggerate.

He laughs. "Try eight hours." He sobers up. "Does Logan know you're here? He called me earlier asking if I knew."

"Nope." I grin proudly. "I snuck out without him knowing." I giggle. "He doesn't like for me to come to these kinds of things." I say in a loud whisper.

Thomas shakes his head disapprovingly. "I'm gonna text him and let him know you're with me."

I nod. He was the very person I was here to avoid so when he looks away I sneak off to the makeshift dance floor. I slip into the crowd of people, dancing with a random group of girls until someone grabs my wrist and spins me around.

"Hey hot stuff. You here with anyone?" Caleb smirks, pulling me close to him.

"I don't know, babe. You tell me." I say flirtily.

He laughs loudly. "Are you drunk already?"

I shake my head in denial. "Just a little tipsy." I rested my head on his shoulder. "I miss you so much!" I sigh. "I don't have a flirt buddy at my new school."

"You really are drunk, hot stuff." He chuckles.

I pout. "Caleb, my bestest flirt buddy in the whole wide world, would you mind getting me a drink?" I bat my eyelashes sweetly.

He sighs. "You won't take no for an answer?" He asks, already knowing the answer from the times we've spent together.

"Nope!" I grin. "Get me something fruity with vodka!" He hollered as he walked off.

"Jay!" Someone calls from behind me.

I turn around to find Jordan walking towards me.

"I have been looking everywhere for you and where do I find you? In the arms of another man!" He says dramatically. "Are you two-timing me?"

"I can explain!" I say dramatically. "I was never dating either of you! I was just trying to enjoy the party and you both tried to join me in the fun!"

Jordan cackles with laughter and Caleb comes back looking confused. "Are you two-timing, hot stuff?" He asks.

That made Jordan laugh harder to the point no noise was coming out and he looked like a retarded Dolphin. Of course, that made me and Caleb laugh, so by the time Thomas stumbled upon our group to tell me Logan was on his way to get me, we were standing around like a couple of lunatics laughing.

"How much did y'all drink?" He asks incredulously. We don't answer as we all attempt to reign in our laughter. "Come on Jay. I'm taking you home."

"No!" I say stubbornly and run off through the crowd. I stumble over to the "bar" which is actually just a board stretched between to pickup trucks with a guy and a bunch of coolers behind it.

I prop my self up on the make shift bar and smile at the bartender. "Hi," I say.

"Hey," he grins in response. "You look awfully familiar. What's your name?"

"Jay Reynolds."

"Ah," he replies. "Connor Hopkins cousin right? You stayed down with him in St. Joe over the summer?"

"Yeah," I answer curiously. "How did you know that?"

He laughs. "You mean don't remember me?" He asks in mock hurt. "That's a shame. I guess I want give you the strawberry vodka mix you like."

I scrunch my eyebrows in confusion. I mean, the guy looked a little familiar I guess. He has real short blonde hair and tattoos up and down his muscular arms. He has sea green eyes like someone else I know...

"Is your name... Travis? I think that's Connors bartenders name." I ask thinking hard.

"Ding ding ding. We have a winner." He grins broadly.

"Yay!" I squeal. "Now can I have a drink?

"Sure thing, doll." He turns around to mix me a drink before passing it to me. I throw it straight back.

"Thanks!" I hug him enthusiastically.

"Jay!" Thomas pants running up. "I swear if you run off one more time I will murder you!" He exclaims.

"Tommy!" I squeal. "This is Travis! He's my new buddy."

Thomas rolls his eyes. "I know Travis, Jay. There's no need to introduce us."

"How may I help you, little brother?" Travis smirks.

My mouth pops open in surprise. "You two are brothers?" I ask in disbelief. Travis nods in amusement. "Yay!" I squeal again. "My two new besties are brothers!"

Travis smirks in amusement; yet, Thomas looks anything but amused. "Come on Jay. I'm taking you home." Thomas says authoritatively.

"Noo!" I whine. "I wanna stay and play with my new buddy."

"No." Thomas's face is hard. "You are going home right this instant whether you like it or not."

"This isn't fair!" I yell stomping my foot like a spoiled child.

"I will drag you out of here kicking and screaming." Thomas says menacingly.

I groan and stomp my foot again before letting him lead me away from the party. I start to realize how drunk I am after I trip over nothing for the fifth time. I giggle.

"Tommy, I think I'm drunk."

He snorts. "I think you are definitely drunk." He replies opening the passenger door to his truck for me.

"Whoops!" I say as I slip climbing into his truck. He catches me around the waist and steadies me.

"Jesus, Jay. How much did you drink?" He asks incredulously.

"Umm." I squint trying to think clearly. "Like thirty." I say nodding my head.

"Thirty what?" He asks in amusement as he pulls out of the spot he was in.

"Umm." I say again. "Thirty alcohol."

He cracks up laughing. "Why don't you lay your head down and try to take a little nap on the way home?" He say patronizingly.

I nod. "Yeah." I stretch out across the seat and lay my head on his lap. He stills. "This okay?" I murmur.

"Umm." He clears his throat. "Yeah, that'll be fine."

"Mmkay." I hum as I close my eyes. I lightly trace circles on is thigh with my pointer and bird fingers. Before long I doze off.

***

I wake up to Thomas shaking my shoulder in front of the house. I sit up and stretch filling a little more sober. Thomas smiles softly at me and all I can think about is how soft and kissable his lips look. I lean in slightly before jerking back and getting out of the truck. Definitely too sober.

I walk inside straight to the kitchen and raid dads vodka supply. Vodka is my favorite. It's the Friday of alcohol. The day of school before summer. The friend who has your back no matter what. I don't know how any of that makes since but it does.

I pour myself a shot and shoot it immediately. The alcohol burns down my throat. I grin broadly. I love it.

"Jay, what are you doing?" Logan asks worriedly, entering the kitchen followed by Thomas.

"Have a drink." I take another shot and head out of the kitchen. I have had two more by the time I reach the top of the stairs. The boys constant worrying follows me as I go.

"Jay, give me that bottle." Thomas demands.

"Eh no," I reply. I go to pour another shot of vodka and pause thoughtfully. I shrug and toss the glass behind me, hearing it shatter on the ground, and take a long drink straight from the bottle.

"Jesus, Jay." Thomas lets out a groan.

"I'll clean it up." Logan sighs.

I hum as I continue walking towards my destination. I walk to the end of the hall and open the door to the room where all my problems started.