Chapter 31   Tied Up in Knots

Tai

"Earth to Tai!"

Wait. "What?" I look across the table and see Tommy and Payton staring at me, Chris texting on his phone and Sebastien looking at the other half of his sandwich like he feels guilty for not finishing it. Too bad Ashton and Lane have already left, they'd inhale it before he finished offering it.

"You gonna finish that Seb?" Chris asks him, looking up from his phone.

"No, you can..." but he stops, watching Chris with fascination as he swallows the half a BLT in one bite before he could even get the full sentence out.

"Tai, we were talking to you and you were off..." Tommy begins.

"In deep sub space," Payton finishes, with a chuckle that he hides by looking down.

"Rope space," Tommy corrects, giving Payton a sidelong smirk.

"How is that different than sub space?" Payton asks, sitting up and looking at me with curiosity.

"It's not really," I answer, "It's just what Master Ken referred to it once." I shrug my shoulders. "I guess it's a little different because of how you get there."

All eyes are on me, even Sebastien, who usually says very little and keeps his eyes down as if he's sitting with a table full of Doms. I think for a minute. "It's like Tai Chi vs Tai Kwon Do; Tai Chi is a slow, contemplative process where Tai Kwon Do is fast and...more painful, at least when I was taking it." Their blank look tells me they have no idea what I'm getting at. "Kinbaku is about touch, and binding with rope, control, and transporting the sub through the process, using pressure points and pace, not through skirting the line between pain and pleasure from spanking or whipping. Like, Payton, you said after Master Kael flogged and edged you the other night, you were flying so high you didn't know your own name, you were high on all the endorphins released from the scene. Master Ken doesn't use floggers or canes or anything that uses pain...well he hasn't so far with me anyway. It's the rope...the feeling of being bound, no control, and the way he binds me that gets me there. Everything is for a reason; they type of rope, where he puts the knots, how tight he makes it, how slow he goes, even just the slightest touch with a finger as he's working. It all affects me. It's really cool."

"I want to try it," Payton says immediately, "I wonder which of the free Doms are trained in it." He looks off almost starry eyed.

I smile to myself, happy that he didn't ask if Master Ken would take him through a rope scene. We don't necessarily have anything exclusive, but I haven't even thought about anyone else and I'm pretty sure Master Ken hasn't been with any other sub since he did a demonstration with Terry. "I can ask Master Ken, Pay. I'll ask who he thinks has enough training for a scene with a beginner sub. I wouldn't want you to get hurt or anything."

"Cool. Tonight's my last night with Master Kael."

"Really? And then you'll be a free agent." Payton smirks and I look over at Tommy who's frowning.

"Seb and Payton, our two bachelors," Chris says, finally putting his phone away. At least for now. "If you want any recommendations, I've been with almost all of the Doms at the Red Door."

"Bullshit," I say into a fake sneeze and Chris glares at me.

"Okay, but legit almost half," he corrects and starts listing off all of the Doms he's ever scened with. I notice Seb is watching him closely and when he says 'Master Caster,' he looks down at his lap trying to keep any reaction off his face, but I can see a flash of sadness. He claims there's nothing going on between them, but I'm not so sure, or maybe it's what he wants to happen between them. Maybe eventually he'll confide in us, but I won't push him. It's taken a few weeks, but he seems more comfortable with us now and even smiles occasionally.

Payton

At exactly 8:25 p.m. I tell the guys I'll see them later and head to Master Kael's playroom. I kneel outside the door wearing only a pair of black leather shorts, sitting back on my heels, my hands on my thighs, dropping my chin and closing my eyes. I take in long, slow breaths as I wait; relaxing my body and calming my mind so I'm ready to focus on my Master and give him my full attention and submission.

I only wait about 5 minutes or so before I hear footsteps down the hall. "Now there is a sight for sore eyes after a long week of litigation." I smile at the sound of Master Kael's voice, but keep my eyes down. "Bastards kept me in court five days straight, but finally got them convinced of the errs of their case, they caved so hard they created a vacuum on West 51st."

I chuckle quietly as Master Kael unlocks his playroom. Once the door is open, I feel his hand on my head as he ruffles my hair. "Such a good boy, you may stand now."

"Hello Master," I say as I get to my feet and look up briefly. His warm smile makes me blush. It's still hard for me to get used to the attention of a man like Master Kael.

"Payton, come sit with me," he says after he's led me into the room and closed the door. He's casually dressed in a pair of black jeans and a tight black T-shirt under the black leather jacket he removes and tosses on a chair. I follow him to the bed and wait while he makes himself comfortable leaning against the headboard. He spreads his legs and motions for me to sit between them; pulling my back tightly against his chest as I descend to the bed. I let myself relax against the handsome Dom, the man I've gladly given my body to for the last four weeks. It's been an amazing experience and I'd be lying if I didn't admit I've become very fond of him.

"You've been an exceptional pet since the minute you signed the contract, I'm very proud of you Payton," he begins as one of his hands rubs circles into my bare chest.

"Thank you Master," I reply, letting my head tuck in under his chin and inhaling the smell of his masculine cologne. If I were a cat, I'd be purring right now. "You've been very patient and taught me so much," I say quietly, suddenly a bit sad that it's our last night together.

"Well, I can't say I was always patient, but you were always good about taking it all in stride. You gave me your full trust, you listened, did everything I told you to. You entrusted me with your mind, body and soul - there's not much more a Dominant can ask for in a submissive. It was a gift Payton, so I should be thanking you. I've enjoyed every minute of our time together."

"Master?"

"Mhm?"

"Will...um, will we ever play together again? You know, just for a scene once in a while, or is this really our last time together ever?"

"Will you want to be with me again Payton?" he chuckles, "you're not glad to be rid of me? Not glad that I won't be turning your ass cheeks candy apple red anymore?"

"Yes, no...I mean, I'm not glad to be rid of you. I like being with you. I'm kind of excited to be with other Doms and see what that's like, but I'll miss you." I tense, waiting for his response. I know he doesn't like clingy and I don't want to come across clingy. I'm not saying I want to sign another contract with Master Kael, but I will miss him and he always gave me good advice when I needed it. His deep chuckle makes me relax again.

"If neither of us are in a contract and on occasion want to play together, I don't see anything wrong in that. We're both consenting adults and have been very open and honest with each other about what we want. I would be sad to think I'd never have another opportunity to wrap my arms around this tight little body or to watch your face turn bright red as I push you over the top." I blush as Master Kael chuckles again. I love being with him when he's in such a good mood. I wonder if he's excited to get back to playing with a variety of free subs again. I'm also surprised that the thought doesn't bother me. He deserves to have fun with anyone he wants and I look forward to having lots of fun too.

"I do have to be honest though Payton. Since this was your first real contract, I've been going easy on you, focusing on teaching you more than focusing on pushing your limits. Any future play I'll treat you like any other sub and if I'm in a rough mood, it will be rough, if I'm in a teasing mood, I'll edge you hard and long just to see when you'll break. I'm not always the sweet nice guy you've become accustom to."

I roll my eyes, making sure he can't see me. I'd never confused him with sweet or nice. Well, that's not fair, he has been nice, but in his own way. He's never been as easy as he makes himself out to be, but I do know he did hold back for me. And, to be honest, I kind of would like to be pushed harder to see for myself how much I could take and how I react when I break. That's something I haven't told anyone, not even Tommy even though I tell him almost everything. I don't know what he'll think of it, but I want to be pushed beyond my limit. To see what that feels like. In a safe environment like here at the club of course where the Dom will pick up the pieces and help put them back together. Is that weird?

"I understand Sir. I wouldn't want you to be easy on me or treat me differently. I want to know exactly how much I can take...of everything, and you're a Dom I would trust to take me there."

"I'm glad you say that pet, because I have one last lesson for you." Master Kael pushes me off him, getting up. "It's not going to be an easy one," he says as he walks over to the closet where he keeps most of his 'toys'. "But I have noticed this need in you. To be pushed further."

I sit quietly waiting for him to explain, since he doesn't like to be rushed or prompted. This, I have learned well over the last several weeks. "This is going to be a lesson in trust. Complete trust." He walks back over carrying something I don't recognize. "You'll have to trust me to take care of you, to be responsible for your safety..." as he unfolds the item I realize it's one of those leather masks, or I guess a hood really. Covering the eyes and ears and only has a small opening for the mouth. The mouth part makes me nervous; I can take a lot, I now realize, but not being able to breathe would freak me out. I'll always have breath play on my hard limits list, along with needles and anything that could cut the skin.

"You'll have to trust that when I take you out of this room wearing this, and nothing else, that I'll stay within the parameters of your limits, the ones we've been talking about and adjusting over the last few weeks."

We'd been doing a lot of that, talking about limits and expanding them as I realized how much more I want to experience. Master Kael has been more than my Dom, he's been my trusted confidante and advisor. Every Wednesday, or sometimes Thursday depending on his schedule, we'd meet for a late supper. Master Kael put in long work days, but he would pick me up at 8:00 p.m. or so and take me to a quiet restaurant he liked to go to and we'd get a quiet booth in a far corner and just talk and eat delicious Italian food. We'd share a bottle of wine, since we weren't playing or anything, though Master Kael never let me have more than two glasses. I think he knew that the wine helped me relax and open up more. He called those evenings his quality audit. To find out how I was doing, how I was feeling about things we did the previous weekend, what I wanted to do in the future. I'd shared many secret fantasies in the quiet, dark corner where no one could see how I blushed and Master Kael never teased me or made me feel bad, weird or like the sicko my parents would make me feel if they knew some of the thoughts I had. After dinner, and after he watched me eat a decadent dessert while he sipped a small glass of liqueur, he would text the driver he hired on these evenings and would drop me off back at my dorm. No sex or anything expected of me besides being open and honest. Master Kael would give me a kiss and hug as we pulled up outside the dorm, before opening the door. He would hold me tight in his large arms and make me feel safe and cared for. Maybe I'll miss those evenings the most. Being held like that by a strong and competent man was something I'd always craved. But maybe I'll get that with other Doms too, but I'll always be thankful for Master Kael, being there at a point when I really needed it.

"Payton?"

"Yes, Master Kael, I do trust you..."

"But...I can sense a hesitation."

"The only part I'm nervous about is not being able to breathe, Sir."

"Then you can put your mind at rest, the last thing I want to do is asphyxiate you pet. When the mask is put in place and strapped on, the mouth opens plenty enough for you to breathe and you'll see there are also small openings under your nose. You won't be able to speak, but you will breathe just fine. This will be a sensory deprivation exercise as well, you won't be able to see or hear. Your connection to me will be completely tactile, as well as with anyone else I allow to touch you."

I feel my cheeks heat up. We had once talked about group play and I'd confided a secret desire to be surrounded by a group of strong Doms touching me and...well, more.

"So...are we going..."

"No questions, you'll just have to trust me to take care of you properly."

"Yes, Sir."

"Strip, Payton."

"Yes, Master."

I quickly take off what little I have on and leave it on the foot of the bed.

"Since you won't be able to safeword, I'll give you a hand signal. If you feel uncomfortable in any way or need things to stop, clap your hands or if you only have one hand free, clap it against your thigh."

"Yes, Master."

I watch as Master Kael walks up to me and places a hand on my shoulder, squeezing in a reassuring gesture. "Let go of any feelings of embarrassment. A good sub is humble. Let go of vanity and pride and you will thoroughly enjoy this."

"Yes, Master." I give him a small smile before he begins to place the hood over my head. My world goes dark and quiet as I feel him strap it in place.

"Can you breathe?" I feel his mouth right next to my ear as the muffled words come through. I take a few deep breaths and nod my head before he pats my back. Strong hands massage my shoulders until I feel myself relax. When I let the tension go, I'm rewarded with soft lips kissing my neck and I lean back into the comfort of his broad chest.

A tug on my hand tells me he wants me to follow him, so taking small steps I let him lead me. I'm sure he can feel my hesitation and when he gives my arm a more jarring tug, I take it as a scolding. I need to trust him, he won't let me fall or walk into a wall. I take a few more deep, relaxing breaths and just let go of my defenses. Although I can't hear or see anything, I can tell when we've left his playroom. A slight change in temperature, and the fact that we've taken more steps than staying in the small room would allow. I fight the urge to swing the hand not being held by Master Kael wildly in front of me, but it's not easy.

I hear muffled sounds, and then the heavy bass beat from the main room where the dancefloor is. Not being able to connect with any of the sounds I just give up and let that go, moving my thoughts inward. Before I can clear my head completely, fleeting thoughts run through. Like, I wonder if my friends will see me and what will they think. I wonder what will happen next. How long will Master Kael keep me like this.

Finally, I just stop with the wondering and use a visualization I was once taught to clear my head. I imagine a chalkboard, full of words, then I imagine a large eraser and erase all of the words. As the eraser clears the board, I let my mind clear with it. Any last fleeting thoughts I just swipe away with my eraser. When my head is clear I let myself sink into it. There's a sense of freedom that comes with turning off all the inner chatter.

My hand is released and instead, large, warm hands are placed on either shoulder and I feel my Master behind me. We stop as he pulls me close to his chest. He feels tense, and I react the same, but his fingers squeezing my shoulders put me back at ease and I let my head turn into him and rest under his chin. We're at the perfect height difference for that and he seems to like it. One of his hands slides down over my chest and rubs calming circles. I'm a little confused as to why we stopped, but a few seconds later his hand on my chest stops and he takes my hand and leads me again.

I feel the movement of air in different directions. Like we're walking past other people who may be moving out of our way and what I'm feeling is the change in airflow they're creating. It's kind of cool, to be here, but not be here. To not know what's going on, who is looking or what anyone else is doing, while still feeling safe in the comfort of my Master's presence.

Firm hands stop me and a tap behind my knee tells me to lift my leg and as I do I'm pushed forward slightly, my foot coming down on a step. Stairs! There is carpeting and when he does the same thing to my other knee I realize there are two stairs. We're in the VIP area! I recognize it...unless there's another place in the club with two steps up and carpeting, but I'm pretty sure there isn't.

I'm moved forward a few more steps and stopped. My feet are nudged apart until they are a little wider than my shoulders and my hands are pulled behind my back and he has me clasp them. A squeeze to my shoulder and then the warmth of his body leaves me. At first I feel a little dizzy and sway slightly. Without sight or sound my balance is off, but I lock my knees and let my body find its center.

I'm left there for...I don't know...I have no real sense of time, so I let that go too and just focus on the blank space I've created in my head.

Every now and then the chatter in my head tries to start and I quickly erase it. Feeling the air all over my body and imagining that there are many eyes on my nakedness sends thrills through me and I feel goosebumps on my skin. I also feel myself getting aroused at the thought. I'm pretty sure my shaft is standing straight up at attention and I don't know how to feel about it. I feel a warmth all over my skin like I'm blushing, and take a few deep breaths to calm down so I don't fall over.

I startle as I feel a hand glide over my chest and then down my belly. Then nothing.

I stand for a few more seconds when a hand cups one of my ass cheeks and squeezes. Then another pulls at my nipple and I grunt and almost jump. A hand steadies me before I lose my balance. Then I'm left alone again.

I don't know how long I've been standing here, but after some amount of time, a hand is on my upper arm and a little tug tells me to walk. I'm stiff at first while I'm led back down the two steps and brought somewhere. Hands lift me onto a bench and I'm placed on my hands and knees. And by hands, I mean more than two...several. I'm not even sure how many. They're just everywhere. Some are pinching my nipples, some are stroking my cock, some are massaging my balls, a finger slides over my crack, some are just trailing over my arm, my thigh or down my back. Some are gentle and some are rough, giving my ass a firm swat before squeezing each cheek. I lose myself in the sensation of the unidentified hands, getting pushed and prodded onto my back when I start swaying.

A shudder goes through my whole body as teeth bite at one of my nipples and a mouth sucks down my whole shaft. Lubed fingers slide into my ass and I'm moaning and turning my hips up for more. This is so amazing, not knowing who or even how many are there. I'm stretched, caressed, slapped, licked and groped. I'm flipped back over again and mounted. It doesn't feel like Master Kael, but it feels just as big. It happens four times and I'm jerked off each time by someone else while another grips my hips pounding into me. By the end, I'm so oversensitive even a feather-light touch makes me jerk in response. I'm tired, sweaty and feeling wrecked. And I loved every second of it.

I drift in and out or maybe I am in deep subspace, barely aware of being carried somewhere, several warm, wet clothes wiped over me, everywhere and then laid in a soft bed. A warm blanket is tucked around me and then I feel the hood being untied and removed. The room mostly dark though I can't keep my eyes open for long. I see bare chests and black pants, but I can't focus enough to see faces. My head is lifted and a straw is placed between my lips and I'm told to sip slowly. I recognized Master Kael's voice. I drink. Ruby red grapefruit juice, possibly fresh squeezed. My favorite and I suck the straw harder.

"Slow down pet."

A hand from behind me pets my head and then draws another wet cloth over my face and hair, wiping off the sweat from wearing the hood. My head is laid back down on a pillow when I finish the juice and I breathe out a thank you.

"He's a good boy," a voice murmurs.

"You did well with him Kael."

"He definitely took it better than I expected, I didn't think he'd last a month at the club the first time I saw him training with the big guy," another voice adds.

The voices sound familiar, but I'm too out of it to make the connections.

"Anyone doesn't treat him right, they answer to me," Master Kael growls and the others chuckle. They talk for a little while longer before he sends them off. I'm rolled onto my side and his large body rests behind me, pulling me into his warm chest as he continues to pet and caress me. I'm in heaven. I could stay here forever. Aftercare is the bomb.

Tommy's POV

"I thought Payton said Master Remington wasn't allowed in the club for 30 days Lane?" Lane and I are sitting at our table having a drink after having danced our asses off for the last 45 minutes. I'm so sweaty that I'm considering going to take another shower before I meet Casey. After hearing what Payton told me about Master Matthias' conversation with his cousin and then him popping in at the library to see Payton, I'm shocked to see him walk in the door.

"Daddy told him 30 days from when he came in to pay his membership and sign all the paperwork, that's probably why he's here. Figures, he chooses a Friday night to come in to do that," he chuckles.

"I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but he went to see Payton at the library while he was working. How did he even know when to find him there?" I look over at Lane who blushes and looks away. It takes a lot to make Lane Wilder blush!

"Lane?"

"Don't tell Matthias, but I might have let Paypay's work schedule slip out during a conversation with his cousin." My mouth hangs open in shock as I stare at Lane, guilt written all over his face. "I know, I know, you all think Remy's a horrible guy, but...I got to know him a little while he was staying with us. He's really a sweet guy under all that...Domitude," he finishes, circling a finger around his face.

"But Lane..."

"I think he might really like Payton," he whines. "Okay, okay, I'm just a hopeless romantic, but I just thought Payton should hear him out and then he can decide. Remy promised me he wouldn't hound him, he just needed to talk to him once and then he'll stay away until he's allowed back at the club."

"Mmm, yeah. I kind of felt bad for him too, for both of them. I won't say anything to Master Matthias."

We watch as Master Remy speaks with one of the staff, who runs off presumably to find Master Matthias.

"I bet Daddy's still in that meeting. I wonder if I should go take care of the paperwork...n'ahh, I'm too lazy." I let out a laugh as Lane snaps his fingers looking over at Scotty who's serving a tray of beers to a nearby table. "BAR KEEP! Another round!" he shouts and then falls into a fit of laughter. Scotty rolls his eyes before walking back to the bar.

"Oh my god!" Lane follows my gaze and he chuckles, shaking his head.

"This is better than reality TV," he snickers.

Master Kael is leading Payton through the main room, naked with a black leather hood covering his whole head, including eyes and ears. Even without seeing his face or hair, I know it's Payton by his body. Pale skin, flushed with a red tint I'm sure from the fact that he's being led around the club naked. Plus the whisper of orange hair over his arms and legs, and the small amount Master Kael let him keep in his pubic area would tell anyone it's Payton.

"Tommy, look!" Lane hisses and I look to where he's pointing to see Master Remy whose eyes are fixed on the two as they walk through the room.

"Here are your drinks boys..."

"Move out of the way, Scotty!" Lane hisses. "Better yet, take your break and sit down and watch with us!"

Master Remy's whole body is rigid, but he doesn't move. Hands clenching into fists, mouth a firm line of brimming anger. I can practically see steam coming out of his ears. When Master Kael sees him he puts his hands on Payton's shoulders protectively and glares at the other Dom. You can tell Master Remy is holding back; breathing hard.

"I guess he didn't expect to see Payton with another Master," I murmur.

"Tommy, come join me?" I look behind me and Casey is standing there looking delicious. I look back and stifle a whimper at possibly missing all the action, but soon Master Kael is leading Payton to the VIP area.

"See you later Lane, Scotty," I say and walk over to Casey. He gives me a long kiss like he hasn't seen me in a week, even though I saw him last night.

"Come on baby, we can sit down for a bit while you finish your drink." I smile as I follow him to an area where I have a perfect view of the lounge. Payton is standing in the middle of the chairs and sofas while several Doms are sitting watching him. Poor Payton. He'd die if he knew he was the center of attention like that. Master Kael is there, of course, along with Master Richard, Master Shane and Master Zion. Master Lancaster is there too, but Master Kael is talking to him and then he gets up and walks away looking a little pissed. I'm actually surprised to see him since when I texted Sebastien earlier he said he wasn't feeling great, so he was staying at home tonight. Master Rowan walks in, sees Payton and lets out a whoop. Sometimes I wonder how Master Matthias let him become a Dom.

One of Casey's friends comes over and they get into a conversation about local politics, so I just tune out and watch what's happening across the room. One at a time, the Doms stand up and touch Payton, run their hands over him, pinch his nipples, 'which I'm sure he just loves,' I think sarcastically. Payton just stands there, swaying every now and then after he's manhandled a bit as he finds his balance again.

"Do you think he'll be okay," I say to Casey and he looks up from his conversation to see what I'm talking about.

"They won't hurt him Tommy," he assures me. "I'm sure everything's under control. I'm sure Payton has a safe signal in case he feels uncomfortable."

"Mhm." I sigh and Casey looks back at his friend and I hear him say something about talking to him later.

"Come on baby, let's go to my playroom. I'm sure Payton wouldn't want you watching and I can tell it's making you uncomfortable." I hesitate for a moment and Casey pulls my arm. "Tommy, come with me," he says more firmly and I look at him in surprise because he almost never uses his Dom voice on me, or he hasn't in a while. "Now," he adds when I haven't moved.

I stand up and follow him, peeking back every few seconds until we're out of the room.

"Tommy, we've been asked to do a small scene this evening in the Private showroom, Master Ken will be doing a rope demonstration later in the evening and we'll be one of the shows leading up to it." Casey closes the door to his playroom and I'm standing by the bed feeling a little put off.

"Um, do you want to?" I ask.

"Yes, I do. If you're up for it. Being asked, I'm sure is Matthias' way of telling me he trusts me again, after..."

"Would it be wax play?" I interrupt.

"No, I would take you through a simple scene, maybe just the crop and flogger. You like those."

"Would we...ah, make love too?" I ask, because I refuse to think of any time I am with Casey as just fucking.

"No baby, I can tell that would make you uncomfortable just by your stance." He comes over and starts rubbing my shoulders. "If you get hard, I can jerk you off, but only if it seems like what you want at the moment."

"Do you like doing that? I mean, performing in front of people?"

"I do, very much so. But if you don't, that's okay. We don't have to."

I look away. On the one hand, I'm not sure about this. The thought of doing the things I do with Casey, in front of people...of them seeing how he makes me feel and of others seeing him as he finds pleasure in the scene...sparks a bit of jealousy. Then again, they see that Casey is mine...but what it really comes down to, is that Casey wants to do it. He enjoys it and if I have to do something that's a little uncomfortable, to make my boyfriend and Dom happy, then it's not much to ask.

"I'll do it," I say, looking back at him.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I want to," I add with a little false enthusiasm.

"Okay, I'll go tell Miles, who's organizing it for Master Matthias. You just sit down, I'll give you a good rub down when I get back, get you nice and relaxed."

I nod and sit down as he leaves the playroom...then I mentally prepare myself.

Later that evening I'm letting Casey walk me into the private showroom. Smaller than the main showroom, but big enough that there are about a dozen other Doms with their subs or guests sitting comfortably around the room with a large stage raised about a foot off the floor, center-stage, right in the middle. I look up at the grid on the ceiling and see a chain hanging down in the center, where the cuffs I'm wearing will be hooked and then the chain will be raised until I'm standing on the balls of my feet. I take a deep breath and keep my head down, not making eye contact with any of the Doms as we pass them, or even the subs. We're going first and Casey is going to warm up my skin with a simple crop and then demonstrate his Florentine flogging prowess, the two handed style with a flogger in each hand. Casey's really good at it and although it puts on a good show, it doesn't hurt that much and actually feels really good.

I can feel eyes on my back as I stand in front of the stage, waiting for Casey to set a few things up. I hate it. You would think I'd like this since I'm such an extrovert, but the thought of everyone seeing Casey and I together, when we're doing things like this, it makes my skin crawl. I want to run back to our playroom, but I see how excited Casey is; the sparkle in his eyes and the bulge in his leathers. He loves this, he loves performing. It's the one place we're polar opposites.

"Come, pet," he calls out when he's ready and I'm already tense. He never calls me pet. He always calls me baby or Tommy. It makes me feel like he sees me differently when we're in front of the other Doms. Like he can't just be his normal self.

"Strip," he orders and the tone makes my eyes pop up to his. His face is blank and he looks just like any other Dom in the club, puffing out his chest, looking severe. I hate it. It doesn't feel like my Casey. "Pet!" he admonishes at my hesitation and I quickly kick off my shoes, shrug out of my mesh shirt and, after taking a deep breath, unbuckle my leather shorts and push them down until they hit the floor. I step out of them and before I can think twice, Casey has scooped them up and put them on a table in the back of the stage.

I keep my eyes down, not wanting to see the audience looking at me. I close my eyes trying to pretend it's just me and Casey.

"Arms up." The next command is as abrupt as the first and I open my eyes, take a few steps forward until I'm under the chains and lift my arms up. Without making eye contact Casey secures my cuffs and uses a remote control to make the chains rise until I'm standing on the balls of my feet.

I zone out, missing the words Casey whispers into my ear before he starts tapping parts of my body with his crop, his swats getting faster, the sting building. I've had this done by Casey in our playroom several times and I loved it. I got off on it, which is why I can't understand the opposite feelings that are building with each hit. I close my eyes again and try to focus inward.

Finally, my skin warm and my ire brimming, Casey pauses and when I don't sense him near, I open my eyes to see him returning the crop to his table and picking up his two favourite floggers. Our eyes lock as he returns, but he doesn't seem to notice the inner turmoil I'm experiencing.

Instead he looks down and his eyebrows raise, noticing my lack of enjoyment mirrored by my flaccid cock I'm sure.

"Just focus on me baby," his says quietly in my ear before reaching down and taking me in hand, massaging and attempting to slide his palm along my shaft. "This is for your enjoyment."

He doesn't let up for several seconds and I feel like steam is about to come pouring out of my ears. So much confusion is roiling around in my head as I try to make sense of my heightened negative emotions. The more he tries to stimulate me, the more frustrated I get and when he looks up at me again, I just look away.

Master Casey explains a few things to the watching crowd about his choice of floggers, where he learned his technique and what it's supposed to do to the sub, but I'm tuned out, wrapped up in my own feelings of anger, inadequacy and confusion. I'm a tight ball of tension and anxiety so when the first bites of the flogger hit my back I cry out loudly.

"Relax pet, you can take this," Casey says and as his arms start moving again in a pattern of swats. Then I do what I never expected I'd have to do with Casey. Something I've never seen happen in the club myself. I safeword.

"Compassion," I blurt out, anger infused in my voice. A word I thought was clever when 'safeword' was only a concept for me. Not something I thought I'd ever need to use, especially with Casey. I don't even know why it came out now. I wasn't hurt, the pain was minimal, it was purely emotional, and now humiliation could be added to the mix.

Master Casey, his arms raised, freezes. Literally unmoving, not even taking a breath for the longest second I'd ever experienced. Once he gets over the shock, the floggers fall from his hands and he quickly reaches up and unclips my cuffs.

With one arm wrapped around my back, his free hand lifts my chin and concerned, confused, worried eyes meet mine. His mouth opens, a question barely on his lips, but I close my eyes and turn away. Understanding the gesture, I assume, I hear him ask Miles for a blanket, and within seconds I'm wrapped in it, lifted by strong arms and carried away.

Master Casey doesn't speak again until we are inside his playroom, and he lays me down on his bed.

"Tommy? What happened, baby? Look at me," he says when I won't meet his eyes.

"Tommy," he says more firmly.

"I don't want to talk about it..."

"We have to talk about it, baby. Why did you safeword? I'm not mad, I just want to understand what's going on."

"I...I don't want to talk about it here," I say, tears brimming as I struggle to hold them back. "I don't know. I just...I don't know what happened."

"Shhh, it's okay." Strong fingers wipe the tears that won't hold back. "Let's just lie here for a few minutes," he says as he lies down next to me and pulls me in close. "I can wait until you're ready, just relax baby, don't cry. It's okay, it's fine."

Pressing my face into his bare chest I let the tears flow, soaking in comfort from his thick arms as they wrap tightly around me, his lips pressing kisses on the top of my head.

It takes a while until I feel calm enough to speak. "I want to go home now," I tell him.

"Tommy, I want to know what you're feeling."

"I can't talk here, I'm still trying to make sense."

"Okay, let's get changed and we'll talk about it at home."

Casey brought me my shirt, shorts and shoes which had been left outside the door. "I'm going to go shower and change into my street clothes," I say as I dress. Casey had suggested a while ago that I just change in his playroom, but I was used to coming with the guys and we'd all get ready together in the locker room, joking around and gossiping about the Doms.

"Why don't you shower here, I can go get your things."

"No, I'm fine. This way I can leave a note for Payton and Tai so they don't worry. I'll be 5 minutes," I promise.

"Don't make any promises you can't keep," he says with a smirk, trying to lighten the mood. I let out a huff at his insinuation. "I'll meet you out there baby," he adds as he strips off his leathers.

I make my way to the locker room avoiding the main room and having to talk to anyone I know. Putting my hair in a tight bun, I take a 2 minute shower and pull on the normal clothes I left the dorm in. I'm still a bit shaky and not sure how to explain myself to Casey, but all I want to do right now is get out of here and clear my head, so I leave the locker room to go find Casey.

I see him talking to some other Doms and make my way over.

"That's gotta suck," I hear one of them saying, "you're losing your touch Master Casey," he adds with a chuckle. From the side I can see Casey's jaw get tight and his whole body stiffen. Then his shoulders slump and he looks defeated.

"I don't know Rick, I guess I should have been paying better attention to my sub. Second time screwing up, 's gotta tell me something."

Filled with guilt, I know I can't face him right now. I go back to the locker room and grab my car keys that I left for Payton. I scribble him a note, knowing that Master Kael will make sure he gets home safely and walk back out, taking another way to the front desk. I write a note to Casey, and ask Ian to give me 10 minutes and then go give it to him. He looks at me like I'm nuts, but says okay when glare at him.

Knowing that I'm totally screwing up, I bolt out the door to my car and pull out of the parking lot before I can change my mind.

Tai

"Woot!" I cheer out loud as I find a parking spot right near my apartment. So what if I'm alone in my car. It's been a great night and I feel better than I have in a long time. I hop out of the car and do a little Fred Astaire move onto the sidewalk. It's old school, but classic. I remember being a little kid taking tap and watching old Fred Astaire movies with my mom and thinking one day I could be like him. I let out a chuckle and do my favourite Usher move. Usher and Kat Graham being my current inspiration, but stop as a cute guy walks by smiling at me. He looks familiar, I think I've seen him at the local café. Yes! I definitely have, he's always dressed in really cool clothes and several times I almost asked him where he shops.

"Are you a hipster?" I blurt out, and when he looks confused, I cackle, "because you make my hips stir!" He blushes, but gives me a shy smile and keeps walking. "Sorry dude," I shout to him as he turns a corner, "the crazy thing is, I've had nothing to drink." I'm just high on life and crazy in love, I think to myself, then stop short.

"What?" I say out loud. Johnny Christ, I did not say the "L" word. Not even to myself, that's just not okay. I am high, I'm high as a kite and my drug of choice is named Master Ken.

Tonight's scene in front a bunch of important Doms was amazing. The best ever. Master Ken has been so pleased with how I've been doing while he's been training those other new Doms, that he arranged this display to show my progress to some of the big wigs at the club. It was the most amazing feeling in the world to be bound and tied, suspended and...enraptured only by my Dom. Because no one else was there in my mind, and when I watched him, I could tell he was in the same place.

My cheeks warm thinking about how turned on I was too. When Master Ken had finished tying me into a work of art, I was so hard and when he whispered in my ear, asking me what I wanted him to do about it, I'd begged like a whore on crack. I didn't care where we were or what he wanted to do to me, I needed him so bad.

The only thing better would have gone home with him, but...neither of us has approached that yet. He held me for two hours afterwards, in the privacy of his playroom, kissing and caressing every part of my body, taking me again but in the most amazingly sensual way. He fed me as I lounged against him, making me feel more cared for than I ever have before.

"Agh!" I yell out as I unlock the door to my walk-up. "What am I going to do Bitsy?" I ask my neighbour's cat who's strolling around the hallway. I lean down and give her some pets before I jog up the stairs to my place, humming and whistling. "He's so effing hot," I hiss quietly as I unlock my apartment door and walk in.

"HEYO!" I yell, startled to see Tommy sitting on my couch looking miserable.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, "I didn't know where to go...and you gave me a key."

"It's okay bae, you know you're welcome here any time, what's wrong? What happened, you look wrecked."

"I freaked out on Casey and then snuck out of the club."

"Oh. Wow."

"Can...I just need to get my head together before I talk to him, can I stay here tonight?"

"Of course, but did you let him know you're okay? He's probably worried about you."

"Yeah, I texted him and then turned off my phone."

"I'll make some tea," I tell him knowing it's going to be a long night. For him to have run out on Casey...well, he must be freaked out.

Daydreaming about Master Ken, well, that will have to take a back seat for a while.