(Chris pictured above)

Chapter 32  Home is Wherever I'm With You

Tommy

There's that moment of confusion when you wake up in a strange bed, rather than that slow lull into wakefulness, you're jolted into awareness.

Taking in the room around me; bright colors, simple furniture and a large print of David Hockney's, The Group X, realization relaxes me. I'm in Tai's guestroom. I've stayed here before. This room, his whole apartment has a calming effect on me. He decorated it himself as expertly and consciously as he chooses his clothes. You'd never think it was the apartment of a college student, but Tai is meticulous about his environment. He's big on Feng Shui and swears it has influence over his dancing, studies and mood. Or, it's another excuse to go shopping, you decide.

"Are you up boo?" I hear a light knock on the door before it opens slowly. Tai peeks in. "How are you feeling?" His voice is soft, full of caring and concern. I blink my eyes a few times as my head clears out the remaining remnants of sleep. And it all comes back. Why I'm here and not waking up next to Casey. I let out a sigh and drop my head back heavily on the pillow.

"I'm okay."

"Will you come out? Payton's here, he brought bagels from The Grind. Hot coffee too. He got you a mint mocha chip Frappuccino!"

Tai walks over and sits on the bed next to me, putting one of his soft, warm hands on my cheek. "It's going to be okay, boo. It will all get worked out. Casey will understand and it'll be like nothing ever happened."

"I know," I reply. Smiling. Fake it, 'til you can make it. "I just have to pee and then I'll be out."

"Okay," he replies with a chuckle. There are towels in the bathroom and new toothbrushes in the drawer, well, you know where everything is, help yourself to whatever you need."

"Thanks Tai."

"No worries, I love you Tomatillo, I'm always here for you."

"I know, I love you too."

Standing up, he gives my hair a pull then walks back into the living room, leaving the door open.

"He'll be out in a few Pay, now tell me what you were up to last night? I thought you and Master Kael might be in the showroom for our demonstration, where were you?"

"No details until I get out there," I yell out, hearing Payton laugh.

Pulling myself up and out of bed I go into the guest bathroom. After I use the john, wash my hands, brush my teeth, and then throw some cold water on my face, I stare at myself in the mirror as the water runs down my chin and drips onto my chest. I mentally start listing all the things I see that make me realize why I'm not good enough for Casey. My eyebrows are too bushy, my hair is too flat, my eyes are too small, my nose is just...bleh! I'm too skinny, I'll never have muscles like him. He's like a god, and I'm...I'm nothing. He's like movie star good looking and body builder buff. I bet people look at him and look at me and wonder what the heck he's doing with me. I know I would. He deserves better...

"Tommy...your mint mocha frappie thingie's gonna get cold." In the mirror I see Payton standing in the doorway holding the big cup up to me like it's the Holy Grail. "Are you okay?" Concern washes over his face as his brows furrow.

"Yeah." Turning around I take the cup and put it down on the counter next to the sink before grabbing him in a hug. Payton squeezes back, letting me just hug him without questions. He's a bit like Ashton in that he's not really into hugging, but he puts up with it from me because he loves me and I have to stifle a sob at the thought.

How did I go from the happiest guy on the planet to falling apart in 12 hours?

"Sorry I didn't come home last night," I finally say.

"It's okay. I didn't get home until really late. Of course, Casey was sitting outside our door, but luckily Master Kael had walked me up to the room and got him to leave after I told him you were staying with a friend."

"Sorry to put you in that position Pay."

"It's okay. I understand. I mean, I don't know what happened, but buds before studs. I wouldn't have told him no matter what he did."

"Buds before studs?"

"Mhm, you like that?" he snickers and I can't help but smile. "I couldn't think of anything that rhymed with doms...WAIT!"

"What?"

"D'uh! TOMS BEFORE DOMS!"

"Oh Pay, let's go eat something. I want to hear about your last night with Master Kael." Payton blushes a deeper red than usual and looks away before leading the way out to the large living area where Tai is sitting on a stool at the kitchen island eating a bagel and scrolling on his phone.

"Did you text Ashton, Tai? I got some sesame seed bagels just for him," Payton says, picking out a cinnamon raisin.

"I did, but he hasn't replied yet. He's probably tied up with Master Gideon."

Payton snickers, but doesn't make a comment, handing the bag of bagels to me.

"That never gets old for you does it Pay?" I ask and he shakes his head no and the three of us share a laugh, making me feel 10 times better.

After I spread cream cheese on an everything bagel, I tell my two friends about what happened in the showroom, as I try to make sense of it myself, all the thoughts that were going through my head.

When I finish both Payton and Tai open their mouths to say something, but I interrupt them. "I know, I know...first rule of the lifestyle, open and honest communication. I know, I screwed up, this is all on me."

"No Tommy, why does there have to be blame? It's not always someone's fault, sometimes shit just happens and it's no one's fault!" Payton objects harshly. Both Tai and I look at him, his face is red and his eyes are blazing.

"Sorry," he says meekly, once he sees our looks. "It's just...um...my dad...anything that ever happened, it always had to be somebody's fault and most of the time it seemed like I got blamed, even for stuff Kade did."

"No worries Pay, Tai says, "but he's right Tommy, shit just happens. Maybe this needed to happen to bring out something that's been bothering you, something between you and Casey? Is everything okay between you two?"

"Yeah, he's great. He's the best."

"And the lifestyle? You're comfortable having him as both a boyfriend and a Dom? It's not easy Tommy and it's not for everyone," he adds when my face falls.

"I...it's fine. I'm the one who came into it, it's not like he asked me to."

"That doesn't mean anything. People change, they try things for different reasons. It's great for some people, but not for others. Some people need it for a certain amount of time, then they don't anymore, or others thrive in it forever. Everyone's different with different needs. You have to figure out what meets your needs."

"And what about Casey? He loves being a Dom."

"I think he loves you more," Payton says quietly from the other side of the island.

"I don't know, I just don't know what I want," I sigh.

"Well, I think it's a conversation you need to have. With yourself and with Casey. The only way you can figure it out is to talk it out." Tai takes a bite of his bagel and washes it down with a sip of coffee before he continues. "We'll always be your friends whether you're in the lifestyle or not, so don't let that be an issue either."

"He's right Tommy, don't let any of us influence you, it has to be what makes you feel the best," Payton adds.

I nod. I don't know what I want to do, but at least my friends will support me no matter what. I just hope Casey won't be disappointed in me...what if my decision ends our relationship?

"So Pay," I say, desperate to change the subject, "what was your night like?"

His face turns bright red, even the tips of his ears are crimson and he takes a big bite of his bagel, an obvious move to delay the inevitable, but Tai and I are patient.

"Um...it was...good," he finally says. "Really good...but..."

"But what?"

"Come on Pay, we want details," Tai pushes.

"I'm embarrassed to talk about it."

"Why?"

Payton picks at his bagel while looking down.

"Pay," I says softly, "you don't have to tell us anything, just know you never have to be embarrassed around us, we've always got your back."

"I know...it's just. It was really awesome, and then afterwards, the aftercare was...amazing. They were..."

"They?" Tai and I both say at the same time.

"Who?"

"I'm not positive...I had one of those mask things on, you know, so I couldn't see or hear..."

"Oh my god Pay!" Tai yells and Payton cringes.

"It's okay Pay, I mean, was it okay?" I ask.

"Yah," he says looking up for the first time. "It was, I don't regret it and I know Master Kael was there keeping me safe...we'd talked about it...but I just...now I kind of feel like a slut. Do...do you think I was a slut?" He looks at us, his face full of worry and shame.

"Jonny Christ Pay!" Tai blurts out, "no slut shaming in my apartment! You are not a slut. If you think you're a slut...then...what does that make me? I'm no effing slut you can be sure of that. You were a consenting adult exploring your sexuality. There's nothing wrong with that as long as you weren't being hurt and you had a safeword or safe signal to stop it if you wanted to."

"I did, I had a signal. And I never once wanted to use it or even felt close, I knew I was safe the whole time and that I could stop it, I was in control. It was...it was really incredible actually. I felt...sexy and alive and...all this stuff I'm too embarrassed to say."

"Then that's what's important. That's what you take away from it Pay, right Tommy?"

"Tai's right Payton. I know you and would never think of you as a slut. You're making conscious decisions about your body and your sexuality. You're being your own person and that's a good thing."

"You're sure?"

"Yes, you're not a slut, never could be."

"Thanks guys. It's weird. Ever since I became a submissive, I've felt more control over my life than I ever have before. I feel like I'm my own person. I'm not Kade's little brother or that weird red-headed kid. I feel valued...if that makes any sense."

"It does Pay, it makes a lot of sense," Tai says. "I'm glad the lifestyle has helped you feel that way, but you always had value."

"Yeah, you've always been smart and funny, a loyal friend, a caring person. I wouldn't have gotten through senior year math if it wasn't for you," I laugh.

<<KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK>>

"Hey!" Tai says, "that's probably Ashton, he must have gotten the text about the bagels, hang on, I'll go let him in."

As Tai walks to the door I look Payton in the eyes. "You're not a slut Pay, don't ever let me catch you thinking like that again."

"Thanks Tommy," he whispers, "I'm glad you don't think so, it was really, fucking, amazing!"

I smile as his eyes get back to their usual sparkle, until he looks up and his face turns to surprise.

Huge arms snake around me and I'm pulled into a large chest and held tightly. Warm lips kiss my neck and I close my eyes, breathing in Casey's scent.

"I'm glad you're okay baby," he whispers.

"How did you..."

"I'll never reveal my sources. Just come home with me so we can talk. I love you baby, no matter what you say, it's not going to change that. I just want to find out what's wrong so I can fix it. I want you to be happy, that's all I care about."

I open my eyes and Payton is gone and when I turn around I see that Tai has left the room too. I look up and see nothing but love in Casey's eyes. Too choked up to speak I nod my head. No matter how hard it is, I know I have to tell him the truth and I have to trust that what we have is enough.

Ashton

"I'm fine," Gideon chuckles as I stare at him with an unconvinced expression.

"I don't think you are." I cross my arms over my chest. "You should have went to see a doctor."

"I am a doctor!" He laughs while sitting back with a wince.

"A baby doctor! You're not a baby," I huff and he pats his lap so I sit down as carefully as possible.

"Relax Chipmunk, I don't need to go see a doctor. I'm fine," he reassures before kissing my puffed out cheek and I rest my head on his shoulder while blowing all the air out of my mouth.

"If you die, I'm going to be super pissed," I grumble making him laugh before gasping.

"Ouch, don't make me laugh. I promise you though, I won't die from this." He coughs and I look up at him worriedly before putting my hand on his other shoulder.

"Good," I whisper with a smile and I close my eyes as his hand rubs up and down my spine.

"We have to be heading out soon if we want to make it home before dinner," he says softly making me nod.

"Yeah, I'll pack our stuff," I tell him before getting off his lap carefully. "No Sir, stay sitting. I can do it."

"Are you sure?" he asks and I nod again.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I can pack without help," I chuckle.

He smiles and sits back on the couch as I walk across my bedroom towards the bed. Taking the suitcase out from underneath, I put it on the bed and open it. We only stayed for the weekend, but Gideon insisted that his clothes be put in the drawers. He hates going through a suitcase for clothes so we put our away while we were here. Once all the clothes are packed, I go into my bathroom before grabbing our toothbrushes, I put them in the travel bag along with our body soap and shampoo before tossing it in the suitcase.

"Now we're just missing one very important thing," I tell him while zipping the suitcases closed.

"What's that?" he asks curiously when I look over at him.

"Bowser," I answer making him smile.

"He's probably still chasing those chickens around." He chuckles and pushes off the sofa with a wince.

"You are not a country person." I shake my head as he walks over slowly.

"I tried," he huffs before pouting and I press my lips to his.

"Yes you did and you did great, kind of." I smirk making him glare playfully.

"Just wait until we get back home. I'll show you what I can do!" He shakes his fist and I laugh.

"You can't do much at the moment," I remind him causing him to sigh.

"Please, don't rub it in," he whines as I grab the suitcases.

"Let's get going Doctor Delicious." I wink and head towards the door.

"You have to call me that more often. It makes my dick hard!" he calls after me and I blush as my ma raises a brow.

"That's nice to know," she laughs as Gideon stops behind me.

"I'm sorry," he grumbles awkwardly making me bite my lip.

"No need to apologize Gideon," Ma says before taking one of the suitcases. "Your father is trying to catch Bowser for you boys."

"Is he having trouble? Pa usually has the animals under control." I frown confused as we head downstairs.

"Well, that dog doesn't really have an inkling for your father's country slang I assume." Ma laughs making me smile as we reach the first floor.

"You okay?" I ask Gideon as he pants slightly.

"Yeah, I'm good." He nods just as pa comes into the house carrying a panting and slobbering Bowser.

"This dog 'ere is the devil, y'all hear me? The devil," he grumbles while putting Bowser down and I hook the leash to his collar before he can run off again.

"He gave you some trouble pa? You're sweating," I laugh but yelp when he digs his knuckles into my skull. "I'm sorry! Pa, ouch stop. I'm sorry!"

"I bet ya are now," he chuckles as I laugh and break from his hold.

"We have to get going now," I sigh making him frown, but nod.

"You come back 'ere soon alright?" he demands more than asks and I groan as he crushes me into a hug.

"Please stop," I mutter while pushing away slightly.

"I love ya too boy," Pa scoffs and flicks my forehead making me grumble as I kiss my ma's cheek and take the suitcase from her.

"I'll call when we get back to the city," I tell her and she nods.

"You better," she says as I head outside while Gideon exchanges a few more words with my dad.

"Are you sure you're okay to drive? I can drive us back," I suggest worriedly as Gideon appears next to me.

"Yeah, I'm fine don't worry. If I need a break, I'll just pull over and you can drive the rest of the way." He smiles and I nod slowly.

"Okay then," I sigh and open the back door before helping Bowser in then putting the suitcases in the trunk.

I turn back to my childhood home and wave at my parents who are standing on the porch. They wave back, my dad with an amused smirk. He thought it was hilarious when Gideon smacked one of the horse's backside playfully trying to prove he can be a country man and got kicked. That's how he got three cracked ribs. He's lucky he didn't get kicked in the head. I chuckle quietly, it was kind of funny. Gideon's bewildered expression as he went flying through the air is something that will be in my head for a while I'm sure. Climbing into the car, I look over at the doctor who said he didn't need to see a doctor and patched himself up.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" he asks with a smile as he drives down the road towards the main streets.

"You're sweating a bit," I mumble as I reach over and wipe his forehead with my fingers.

"It's hot," he laughs softly making me hum.

I turn up the radio a bit before sitting back and looking up at the huge weeping willows that line our road. Ma sure does love her weeping willows. I remember following her up and down the road as she talked to the trees and told them how beautiful they are. My dad, mom, sister and I would all race to the top of the hill and watch them bloom before rolling back down the hill. Whoever won was free of manure duty for a week. It's safe to say I cheated and won a lot. I look over at Gideon once we're on the highway and see that he looks more comfortable now than he did before.

"Are you okay?" I ask and he glances over.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask?" he questions making me roll my eyes as I turn back to the window.

"No reason." I shake my head with a chuckle.

"I don't like when I can't see your face as you talk. It makes me feel as if you're being a sarcastic asshole," he admits so I look over at him with a frown.

"You can tell when I'm being a sarcastic asshole if I look at you?" I ask and he nods.

"Yes, it's all in your eyes. You can have sarcasm dripping from every word you say, but your eyes silently speak your true thoughts," he explains making me look away quickly.

"That's not good," I mumble to myself as I run my hand through my hair and push it into my eyes. "Let me know if you want me to drive okay?" I remind him and he nods with a smile.

Halfway through the drive, I feel the car slow to a stop. My eyes snap open and I look over at Gideon who is clutching his rib with a frown. I sit up quickly and ask him if he's okay. He waves his hand dismissively, but tells me to take over the rest of the drive. We switch seats and I watch as Gideon leans the seat back until he's almost lying down. He gives me a lazy grin before closing his eyes and putting his arm over his face. I don't comment on it, knowing he'll probably never admit to being in pain. Instead, I put focus on getting him home as soon as possible so he can be more comfortable.

About an hour later, I pull into Gideon's driveway. I park the car and look over to see his mouth kind of open and his face completely relaxed meaning he's sleeping. Looking in the back, I see Bowser also sleeping. Car rides make me sleepy too. I turn the car off and climb out before quickly texting my ma instead of calling then popping the trunk open. Grabbing the suitcases, I carry them up to the front door and unlock the door before pushing it open with my foot. After I put the suitcases next to the stairs, I go back for Bowser who is snoring away. Rubbing his ear makes his eyes open slowly and he stands up when I motion him out.

"Go inside while I wake up Gideon," I tell him and point to the house while unclipping his leash, he does exactly what I say. "Gideon, we're at your house."

"Ugh, just leave me here," he grumbles making me raise a brow.

"I'll run you a bath so you can relax and lay in bed while I make dinner. I'm sure that's much more comfortable than the car. No?" I question as he looks up at me with sleepy hazel eyes.

"Yeah, you're right." He sighs before unbuckling his seat belt.

I hold out my hand and he smiles before grabbing it. Once he's out of the car, I put his arm around my shoulder and help him inside after closing the car door. Gideon looks at the stairs with disgust making me chuckle. He looks down at me with a confused expression and I shake my head before we start going up the stairs slowly. When we get to the bedroom, Gideon tells me he needs to sit down so I help him to the bed. He sits down with a heavy sigh before rubbing the back of his neck. I grab his downturned face before tilting it up and pressing my lips to his.

"I'll run your detox bath now," I whisper and his hand fists my shirt as he looks up at me with a serious expression.

"I should be running a bath for you," he sighs but I just smile at him while caressing the stubble on his tan cheeks.

"I'm very capable of running a bath for my man. If you're good, I'll even wash your back." I wink making him laugh as he lets go of my shirt and kisses me quickly.

"Put the oils in too please," he says so I nod before going into his huge master bathroom.

I press the button that closes the drain so the water doesn't go down before turning on the hot water. As the tub fills, I walk over to the closet at the end of the bathroom before grabbing the bath oils that help relax your body. I grab two and stare in between them. Chocolate or pomegranate. Hmm, I shrug and put one back before taking the other to the tub. It's already half way filled so I pour in some of the oil into the cup of Epsom salt I pour before grabbing the oil. I pour both into the steaming water before putting them back.

"Gideon, the bath is ready," I tell him while peeking into the bedroom and my eyes widen slightly seeing as he's already naked.

"Great, I think a relaxing bath will do me some good." He sighs while pushing off the bed. "Join me Ashton."

"Yes Master." I bow my head at the tone in his voice, he's in Dom mode.

After he passes me, I strip my clothes and leave them folded next to the door. I turn and look over to see Master stepping into the tub. He doesn't make a face at what I know is the burning hot water he's stepping into. When he's sitting, well leaning against the slanted end of the tub, I walk over when he looks at me with a raised brow. I step into the tub and sit facing him. Even though there is plenty of space in this huge tub that can fit three other people, I keep my knees bent and rest my chin on my folded arm that lay on my bended knees. I break the surface of the water with my finger as I dip my other hand into the water. I can feel Master watching me, his gaze intense yet relaxing. My eyes drift up to him and I smile. The smile he gives me in return makes my heart race in my naked chest.

"Ashton," he calls making me look over at him again with a curious tilt of my head. "Come here."

"I don't want to hurt you," I mumble, but he just holds his hand out.

"Let me worry about that Chipmunk." He smirks so I grab his hand and let him pull me in between his legs.

I turn and straighten my legs as his arms wrap around my waist. His nose skims the column of my neck and I tilt my head to give him better access I rub my foot against his leg and chuckle when he bites down on my neck with a playful growl. Placing my hands over his, I close my eyes and relax as best I can without really leaning against his torso. Gideon's breath fans my ear and the smells of the minty gum he's always popping into his mouth fills my nostrils. Letting my hands drift down into the water, I rub my hands up and down his thighs. I feel the soft hairs covering his strong legs brush against my hands as Gideon's hand drifts up my chest. It grabs my chin and he turns my head, meeting me half way for a kiss.

"You're the best partner a man could ever have Ashton and the best Submissive a Dominant could ever wish for. I'm so glad I found you," he whispers into my ear after our kiss and I stare into the water while biting my lip.

"I should go start dinner," I tell him and he chuckles.

"You need to learn how to take compliments Ashton," he says but doesn't stop me from slowly standing up.

"I know how to take them." I shrug before walking over to the shower to rise off, "I just don't know how to respond to them."

I know he couldn't hear the second half of my statement, but I didn't want him too. After taking a cold shower, I get pull on sweatpants and head downstairs to start dinner as Gideon says he's going to soak in the bath until the water runs cold. When I get to the kitchen, I think of what I can make. Going through the freezer, I grab the steaks before filling the sink with hot water. Once it's full, I put the bag of steak into the water so it can defrost as I grab the other things I need to make. Washing off the potatoes, I peel them and dice them before putting them in the boiling pot of water. The steaks are already defrosted when the potatoes start boiling slightly so I quickly put them on the preheated pan to cook. Melting the butter with milk, I mix it into the drained potatoes after they're cooked and start mashing them as the corn heats up and the steaks finish cooking.

"It smells good down here," Gideon says as he walks into the kitchen.

"Food is almost done," I mumble while turning off the stovetops.

"Do you need help with anything?" he asks after kissing my shoulder blade.

"Um, can you get the drinks poured? I just have to plate the food. I'll bring it into the dining room in a few minutes," I tell him and smile over my shoulder as he nods.

"What would you like to drink?" he asks while going to the fridge.

"Whatever you're having is fine." I shrug as I grab plates and divide the mashed potatoes up evenly.

He hums in response as I plate the steaks, giving the medium rare one for him because that's how he likes it. I don't know how, if I see red I can't eat it. It's gross. I put the corn on the side and grab two knives and two forks before grabbing the plates and walking into the dining room. I put his plate down in front of him as he pours two glasses of wine. I raise a brow, but don't comment and take my spot across from him. Gideon sits down and looks over at me with a smile.

"Thank you for dinner Ashton, it looks and smells amazing," he tells me while picking up his glass of wine and holding it out so I grab mine and tap it against him before we drink.

"You're welcome Gideon, I hope it tastes as good as it smells and looks," I admit knowing I'm not the best cook there is.

"You have to spend the night," he demands randomly making me look over at him confused.

"I have class tomorrow morning, I can't stay," I tell him and he raises a brow.

"You just had alcohol. I can't let you drive home, especially not on that motorcycle," he replies as I stare at him with a blank expression, he planned this.

"It was only a sip. I just won't drink anymore and I'll be more than fine to drive back," I retort making him eyes narrow before he looks down.

"Just stay the night," he mumbles causing a frown to tug at my lips before he looks up with a pout. "Please?"

"Please don't get all weird on me," I groan as he juts out his bottom lip even more.

"You don't want to leave me here all alone right? I can fall and hurt myself. I'm not as young and strong as you. I am getting older so I'm easier to break," he says while cutting into his steak and taking a bite, his excuse makes me shake my head with a low chuckle.

"You wouldn't be alone since you have Bowser," I say while hearing his snores from the living room, "but I'll stay the night to make sure you don't break a hip."

"The only way I'm breaking a hip is from fucking you too hard." He shrugs and smirks at me as I sit back and lick the inside of my cheek.

He can go from a pouting whiny boyfriend to a taunting sexy Dominant in a second flat, I have my hands full with this one.

Chris

"I'm bringing sexy back!" I sing as I burst into the locker room making the twinks all squeal in shock.

"Damn it Chris, give me a fucking heart attack why don't you!" Malik growls out before throwing his underwear at my head.

I duck quickly while laughing, "Sorry about that. Just wanted to make a grand entrance!"

"Where have you been anyways? I haven't seen you in weeks," he mutters as I open my locker.

"I've been around." I shrug as I pull off my shirt.

"That makes you sound like a whore," Mickey giggles making me chuckle.

"Nah, Chris only bends over for Master Clark now. That's where he's been lately," Tai says while walking into the locker room.

"Oh yeah? You couldn't handle the dark side?" Malik teases making me frown as I put my clothes into my locker.

"Nah, he's too scared to stay in the dungeon after Master Lucien really got his hands on him. Chicken." Jonas laughs causing my hands to curl into fists around my jeans.

"He couldn't handle the Freaky Foursome and probably still has nightmares about them," someone else adds making the Masochists laugh loudly and my face burns in embarrassment.

"Oh shove it! A lot of people can't handle those four! Greg, you say that as if you've ever played with the Freaky Foursome and if I remember correctly, Master Saber said one word to you and you pissed your pants before passing out! Don't go making fun of people because they decide what's good for them. Sadomasochism isn't for everyone and you guys have no right to laugh at Chris because he decided it wasn't his cup of tea. Y'all know damn well it's against club rules to belittle someone for their kinks and actions during scenes yet here you all are laughing and making fun as if we're all in the middle school locker room! Just because you're part of the dungeon scene doesn't mean you can do whatever the hell you want. You're such assholes!" Mickey shouts, his face red with rage before he storms out the locker room and I stare after him with wide eyes.

"Well daaamn," Tai mumbles under his breath as I quickly change into my shorts and boots.

"Chris, we weren't serious. We were-" Malik starts, but I just brush passed him on my way out of the room.

I start walking down the hall and look up when I hear Mickey. My eyes widen and I freeze when I see him with Matthias and Lane. Lane's eyes connect with mine and he actually looks upset. He nods, making none of his usually cheeky comments as he passes me. I watch them silently before they all disappear into the locker room. Damn it Mickey, it wasn't that serious. I don't want to have to deal with Master Matthias wanting to ask me shit about it. I sigh and quickly head over to Master Clark's playroom to wait for him. My eyes stray to the clock on the wall and I frown when I notice he's five minutes late.

Leaning against the wall, I slide to my ass and wait. Jonas' words ring through my head. I'm not scared to go back to the dungeon. Master Lucien didn't scare me away, he steered me in the right direction of my wants and needs. I don't need a Sadist to be satisfied and happy. Master Clark makes me happy and he doesn't torture me. He was wrong, I'm not fucking scared. My hands curl into fists as their words repeat over and over. I handled the Freaky Foursome just fine, multiple times! What the fuck were they talking about? I never had any fucking nightmares about them! I can handle the dungeon scene and I sure as fuck can handle the Freaky Foursome.

"Fuck it!" I grumble while getting to my feet and stalking down the hall.

Going down the stairs, I walk down the hall and open the door leading down to the dungeon. With no hesitation and no fear, I walk down these stairs. The cement walls and brick walls surround me as soon as I hear the door shut. Walking down the empty hall, the screams and cries from the dungeon fill my ears. My steps falter, but I ignore the urge to turn back. I'm not fucking scared. I shake my head and keep walking. A whip swings through the air and I watch it connect with Mary's back. She arches, a scream erupting from her swollen lips as she throws her head back. I swallow and look around slowly.

"Well if it isn't Christopher," someone purrs from behind me and I feel a naked chest press against my back.

"Master Garrison," I look down quickly.

"What are you doing down here Bitch? You get lost?" he asks while gripping my hair and pulling my head back before raising a brow as I look up at him.

"No Sir, I came here willingly," I tell him making him hum.

"Follow me boy," he orders before walking away.

What am I doing? I ask myself as I find myself following his order and his body as he leads me across the dungeon. My heart pounds in my chest as he enters their playroom. I freeze just across the threshold, not because I'm scared. I remember Master Lucien's rule, wait for his permission before entering his playroom. My eyes stay on the cement ground as I hear gasps and moans coming from the room. Peeking up, I see Master Baird and Master Saber fucking some twink whose hands are chained to the grid. My eyes follow their movement, remembering all too well how much pleasure that exact same position brought me from those twin Doms.

"What do you want Christopher?" Master Lucien asks and I follow his voice to see him sitting in his favorite chair, watching the twins and the twink.

"Um, nothing Master Lucien. Master Garrison told me to follow him here," I tell him causing them all to freeze as their gazes snap to me, even the twink.

"Are you claiming Garrison told you to follow him, just for you to stand there?" he questions with a raised brow that makes me frown.

"Well I can leave then," I mutter before turning while rolling my eyes.

"Freeze," Master Garrison orders and much to my dismay, I find myself waiting for his next command. "Come here boy."

"Yes, please do enter the room Christopher." Master Lucien chuckles as I look over my shoulder.

"I'll pass, thank you very little." I smile and walk away, heading to the dungeon bar. "Can I get a Rum and Coke."

"Sure, it's been a while since I've seen you down here. Everything okay?" Pepper, nobody here besides Master Matthias knows the man's given name since he never tells anyone, asks with a smile.

"Yeah, I've been good. I got a Master that is from the showroom," I tell him as he puts my drink in front of me.

"Oh yeah, then why are you down here?" he asks with a confused tilt of his head and I sigh.

"I don't know to be honest," I mumble while grabbing the glass and taking a sip.

"Hey now, you know you can talk to me and I'll always tell you my honest opinion." He smiles while leaning against the counter. "What's bothering you? I can tell there is something, it's all over your face."

"I'm going to need a stronger drink," I tell him after chugging the first one and he gives me a shot with a raised brow so I tell him what happened in the locker room.

"Don't listen to those idiots Christopher. Like Mickey said the Sadomasochism lifestyle isn't for everyone and if you tried then realized it's not for you, there is nothing wrong with that. You haven't failed in any way and it doesn't mean you're lacking courage," Pepper scoffs while wiping down the counter. "I hope Master Matthias gives it to them good."

"I really hope he doesn't," I groan and he frowns at me. "I don't want it to be a big deal."

"It is a big deal Christopher. They're making fun of your lifestyle choice and calling you a coward because you made the choice that's best for you. As Masochists, they should know how it feels to get your lifestyle ridiculed and talked down upon. When people find out I'm a Submissive Masochist, they look at me as if I belong in a mental hospital. It's a sick feeling, one every person in this dungeon has experienced before. It's not right to do it to a fellow Submissive or anyone at all," he rants with a glare and I take a swing of my beer.

"Christopher, I thought that was you." A familiar voice chuckles and I look over to see Master Nathan.

"Hello Sir," I greet and lower my gaze before turning back around.

"I'm surprised you're here. Word around the dungeon is that a Master from the showroom took you on the rounds," he says making me mentally grimace at the way he worded it. "Your silence tells me things between you two might not be going so well." That's not true. "There is a scene that should be starting in a few minutes. Join me," he says and I look over at him, seeing his cocky smirk and the promise of pleasure in his eyes.

"Yes Sir." I nod before grabbing the hand he holds out.

"Christopher," Pepper warns but stops when Master Nathan gives him a look.

"Let's go Christopher," he says before looking down at me.

"Yes Sir," I repeat and follow him towards one of the private rooms where scenes are performed.

"Kneel," he orders after sitting down and I drop to my knees.

My eyes lock onto my knees as I take a deep breath. What am I doing? Why am I here? All because some assholes called me a chicken. I don't want to be here. The scene starts and my head turns to look at the stage. A Submissive is tied to the cross, upside down. My eyes stay glued to the scene as I feel Master Nathan's hand grip my hair. My stomach twists, but I ignore the ill feeling as the Master strokes the Submissive until he's fully erect. The Submissive's face is slowly turning red from being upside down and it only turns bright with each lick of the cat-o-nine against his skin. My shorts become uncomfortable as my cock hardens at the scene before me.

"Christopher," Master Nathan calls quietly and I look over, my eyes widening at his exposed cock that's practically in my face.

"Sir, I'm not going to do that," I whisper to him with a blush.

"Christopher!" someone else growls out and my eyes snap over to the entrance of the room.

"Master Clark!" I gasp, quickly getting to my feet.

"Christopher!" Master Nathan warns as Master Clark's look guts me.

"Follow me," he orders calmly before turning and walking away.

"Get off me," I grumble as Master Nathan grabs my arm.

I pull my arm out of his grip before following after Master Clark quickly. He's striding towards the entrance/exit of the dungeon quickly. His body is tense, like he's ready to strike something. My heart pounds in my chest nervously. I wasn't going to do it, but it must have looked so fucking bad. For one's Submissive to kneel before another without their Master's permission, it's fucking taboo. What the hell was I thinking? I should have never gone down there. It was all a mistake. Now I'm going to lose him. I always lose people. Everyone I love always leaves me. I can't lose anyone else. This can't be happening to me. I grip my hair in a panic, panting as I find it hard to breathe. I clutch at my chest as it burns, using the wall of the lobby to keep me on my feet as things seem to swirl around me.

"Christopher?" Master Clark calls back before warm hands grab my exposed hips. "Breathe pup, you're having a panic attack."

"I d-didn't," I gasp while shaking my head, tears coursing down my cheek, "w-wasn't going to."

"Shh, pup. Don't worry about that now. Put your hands on your knees and your head down between your knees. Now pup," he orders while sitting me down and I lower my head in between my knees while gripping them tightly.

"I wasn't going to," I sob as it feels like my throat is closing.

"Christopher, shut up and just breathe. Deep breaths for me pup," he whispers softly while petting my head, my tears splash against the ground until my breathing finally returns to normal.

"Y-you were late," I mumble and look up at him.

He wipes the tears off my face, "I texted you saying I was going to be late. Of course you don't check your phone before locking it away. Come, let's get you something to drink."

"Master," I whisper while gripping his arm when he goes to stand. "I wasn't going to do it. I swear it."

"Let's go Christopher," he repeats then pulls me to my feet before leading me to his playroom. "Master Matthias is looking for you as well. Apparently you had a problem in the locker room earlier. That's how I knew where to find you."

"If he's looking for me, shouldn't you have taken me to him?" I ask confused knowing the rules, when Master Matthias is looking for someone whoever sees them better bring them to him.

"Your well-being is more important to be at the moment. Obviously you're in no state to deal with Master Matthias' inquisition," he says while handing me a water bottle. "Now tell me Christopher, what happened?"

"It was all my fault," I sigh and look down as he sits on the bed next to me. "I shouldn't have let what they said get to me, but it did."

"What happened in the dungeon?" he questions making me look over at him.

"Nothing Master Clark, I didn't do anything with Master Nathan or anyone else. Master Lucien and his friends tried to invite me into their playroom, but I refused. Master Nathan came up to me when I was at the bar having a drink. He asked if I wanted to watch a scene with him, I agreed. I was just going to watch, I swear. He called my name and when I looked, his dick was out and in my face. I told him I wasn't going to do it, that's when you showed up. That's the truth Master Clark, I promise," I ramble off quickly as he stares at the wall.

"What exactly did they say to you in the locker room? Matthias only said that they said some things about the dungeon that upset you," he tells me before looking at me with a raised brow.

"They said that I was a chicken because I couldn't handle the dungeon and thought I had nightmares about Master Lucien and his friends. Which I don't!" I add quickly as he frowns. "They were just playing around I guess, I shouldn't have thought so much into it."

"Mickey didn't think they were playing around. He was completely sure that they were saying things to purposely hurt your feelings. That's why he brought Matthias into it," he says and I shake my head.

"I don't know," I sigh just as someone knocks on the door and Master Clark gets up to go answer it.

"Matthias," Master Clark greets and I tense at the mention of his name.

"Relax Christopher, you're in no trouble," Master Matthias reassures as I turn to face him.

"Master Matthias." I bow my head but not before seeing Lane's pissed off expression.

"Just so you know Chris, I punched them all in the nose for you!" Lane says making my eyes widen as I look up at him.

"Sugar," Master Matthias sighs and Lane stops talking. "Christopher, I just wanted to get your side of things before any punishments were officially given."

"Can it wait Matthias?" Master Clark asks making us all look at him and he looks highly annoyed. "Chris is in no state to answer your questions. He already had a panic attack and I do not want to push him. It's late, I'm going to take him home because he needs to rest."

"That's fine, tomorrow you come in and we'll talk," Master Matthias tells me before slamming his hand into Lane's ass that makes me wince as Lane screams. "Let's go Sugar."

"Yes Daddy," he moans while following Master Matthias out of the room.

"We're going home, I'll go with you to get your things," Master Clark says while changing into his normal clothes.

"Master," I start but his look halts any other words that planned to leave my mouth.

"Not tonight, let's go home," he repeats and I look down as tears fill my eyes, home.

"I," I choke out and the tears splash against my thighs.

His warm hands cup my face and tilt my head up before his lips meet mine, "I won't repeat myself again Christopher. Let's go."

"Yes Master." I nod and stand up when he steps back.

We leave the playroom hand in hand and I smile tugs at the corners of my lips, home with Master Clark.