Chapter 47 - Contracts and Other "Arrangements"

Payton

Knock knock

Knock knock

Knock knock knock

Sigh.

Knock knock knock

Knock knock

"Payton?! What are you doing here, is something wrong?"

I breathe a sigh of relief as the door finally swings open. I'd been knocking a while and was worried he'd left town or something. Irrational fear of course because we had plans for the late afternoon, but hey, it's me. I panic sometimes.

"Hi Remy...I'm sorry if I woke you," I say and then realize he has water dripping down his body and he's holding a towel around his waist. Lightbulb! That's why it took him so long, he was in the shower! It's not even 8:00 a.m., but I had to come see him, I'd been up for hours running it through my head. The way we left things last night and everything I wanted to say.

"You didn't wake me, I...I'm just, surprised to see you. I thought you were studying with your friends this morning."

"I'm sorry about last night."

"You have nothing to be sorry about."

"I needed to tell you something and I wouldn't be able to study or anything today until I did."

I watch as his face falls, like he's expecting the worst. Probably because I look like a madman. I'm sure my eyes are red from the little sleep I got and, shit, I think I forgot to brush my hair this morning.

"Come in. I'll throw some clothes on and we can talk."

"I forgive you," I blurt out.

"What?"

"I don't care what happened that night, It's over, it's in the past, I want to put all of that behind us and start fresh," I say as I rush forward and throw my arms around him like a total geek. But that's okay. I own my geekiness.

Strong arms come around me and pull me tight into his bare chest and I relax because a little part of me worried that maybe he'd changed his mind about being with me.

Oh, and did I mention arms, plural. I look down and see the towel on the floor and immediately feel my face turn red.

"Sorry," I mumble into his chest.

"For what?" he laughs. "I'm glad you came, my day just suddenly got a lot brighter."

"So...you'd really want me as a submissive?" I cringe a little at the insecurity that's obvious in my voice.

"Yes, most definitely, If that's what you want, or would you rather be my boyfriend?"

My face pops up to look at his. God he takes my breath away, he's so handsome. How can someone's face be soft and rugged at the same time. He's beautiful and he's masculine and it's all in this amazing, lean, but muscled, strong package. Oh, and don't get me started on his package. The one I can feel poking into my hip.

Focus Payton.

What do I want. Don't think of what I think he wants or wants to hear. What do I really want and need. It's not natural or even comfortable for me to think this way, but it's one of the things I learned from Master Matthias, Master Kael, and even Guillermo, and now I know it's what Remy wants to hear. He said he wants complete honesty.

"I'm not sure how to be someone's boyfriend," I admit. "Can we start out as Dom/sub and then go from there. When I was training as Master Kael's submissive it made me realize how much I need that kind of relationship, at least at this point in my life. And I don't just want to be 'a' submissive, I want to be 'your' submissive. It's all I wanted from the beginning."

"I understand Payton, and I'll do my best to be worthy of that. I understand, now, what a great responsibility that is. I've had a lot of long talks with Matthias, and Kael too, re-training I guess you could call it and with their guidance and your patience I think I'm finally in a place where I deserve the title."

He spoke to Master Kael? As if reading my mind, or seeing shock in my face he chuckles before providing an explanation.

"At first I was jealous of Kael, a little angry even, but then I realized he was there for you when I couldn't be, when you really needed someone, and he would know you even better than Matthias, so I let go of those feelings and actually thanked him for what he did for you, and then asked him to teach me how to be a better Dominant, how to be good for you. Don't worry, he didn't betray any confidences, he's a good man, like Matthias, he just gave me a lot of good advice and a better way of understanding the Dom/sub relationship."

"I'll do my best to be a good submissive, Sir." I smile because I finally get to call him Sir as his sub. Nobody would probably understand how it makes me feel. It's hard to even explain, I guess if you're not in the lifestyle you wouldn't get it. It makes me feel...confident, and strong. It's like when you know someone has your back, and not just your friends, but someone who will make you part of their whole world and be devoted to your well-being. Someone who can see the whole picture and help guide you through all the complexities of life. Some people think that would make you feel weak, but it doesn't. It makes you feel powerful.

"Payton, just be yourself, that's all I need."

"How are we going to do this?" I ask, because I'm a pragmatist to a fault. "I mean, I totally trust you, but it would go against everything Master Matthias taught me if we didn't have a contract."

I always have to deal with the practical things before I can relax. I wonder if I'm OCD. Or CDO. It should be CDO because that's proper alphabetical order, right? That's not my line though, I knew a guy who said that and I never knew if he was kidding or not.

"Well, I don't think either of us wants to wait too long, so if we're still going to check out some galleries this afternoon, why don't we grab some dinner after and then stop in at the Club. We need to talk to Matthias before we do anything and we can get whoever is covering the front desk to print us a draft contract and then we can go through it and make the revisions we need. Matthias will want to review the final contract, it's part of my 'probation'," he says, making air quotes for probation.

"How long would our contract be for?"

"I think for your protection, we'll start at 3 months and then if you still feel the same way at the end, we'll figure out what worked and what didn't and draw up a more permanent one."

"Really?"

"If I don't scare you away," he chuckles.

"But...what about the summer?" I ask, suddenly worried. "I kind of committed to working in Muskegon?" Please say it's okay, I say in my head, I really don't want to spend the summer in the city and I've missed going sailing...but maybe I need to make a choice. Master Remy or a summer at the lake...

"It's not very far away and our business slows down a lot in the summer. I'll come see you on the weekends or you can come into the city. If you get any time off we can take a short trip. We'll make it work Payton. As long as your grandfather and his wife don't mind me visiting."

"No, they won't mind," I reply with a smile that makes my cheeks sore. "We should probably put up the illusion that you're staying in the guestroom, they're kind of old-fashioned, but they know I'm gay and totally support me, but they're still my grandparents. They don't know anything about the lifestyle though, and I don't think I want them to know, at least not yet..." I stop because I realize I'm talking really fast which I do sometimes when I'm excited.

"Whoa, slow down mon tendre chaton," he laughs, "That's fine. I understand, when we're staying under your grandfather's roof, it's by his rules. When we're out in public we'll just be boyfriends. How's that? No worries, mon chou."

"Really? You don't mind...I'm sorry, I don't want to seem high maintenance or anything."

"You're hardly high maintenance, besides, your maintenance is of utmost importance to me now. All I want is for you to be happy, healthy and fulfilled. I may challenge you as well, but only in ways to help your own personal and emotional growth."

Master Remy finally eases the hold he has on me and lets me stand on my own. My eyes flick down and then back up quickly with a blush and a slightly embarrassed grin.

"You do realize you're naked and your apartment door is still open?" I say, stifling a snicker.

"I do now," he chuckles as he walks around me to close the door and I get a view of his fantastic ass. "I also realize you are laughing at your Dom."

He turns back with a stern look as I quickly look back up, but it only makes me laugh out loud. He tries to look even sterner, but can't keep a straight face for long before he's grinning that fabulous smile of his. The one that lights up his whole face and makes his eyes twinkle.

"When do you have to be back at campus?" he asks.

"I'm meeting my study group at 9:30, so I can't stay long. Oh, um, unless..." He's my Dom now right? I have to ask permission? "Is that okay, Sir?"

"Payton, school will always come first, don't ever put your education at risk, for anyone. Now, how did you get here? I can drive you back."

"I borrowed Tommy's car, so I'm good."

"Well, you have some time, the diner downstairs makes a great breakfast and they're fast, will you join me?"

"I'd love to," I say with a blush, which makes him smile again as he traces a finger down my red cheek.

"Okay, let me throw on some clothes," he says as he quickly heads to his bedroom, but not before leaning over to kiss the top of my head, which makes me blush even more, but mostly makes me feel really good as a sense of warmth spreads through my whole body. If this is a fraction of how it feels to have someone as amazing as Remy in your life, then I know why Tommy never stops smiling when Casey's around.

"Payton?"

I look back and Remy dressed in jeans and a plain navy blue t-shirt. He's holding up his phone and I hear a little click.

"Did you just take a picture of me?" I ask, quickly trying to fix my perma-messy hair with my hands.

"Yes, I did and you look perfect. I wanted to capture that smile you've had on your face since you arrived. I want to make sure I know what it looks like so I can make sure it stays there permanently. It will be my reference for future quality checks."

I'm pretty sure my smile turns to one of embarrassment and I can't help rolling my eyes.

"Get used to it mon chou," he says as grabs his wallet and keys from a side table and then throws an arm over my shoulders and pulls me out the door.

"What are you hungry for? They have everything, eggs, French toast, Belgian waffles, crépes."

"I love French toast, but it would make me too sleepy for studying. I should probably eat some protein, maybe an omelet or something."

"Sounds like a good plan, they make the best omelets."

The place is pretty busy, but luckily there are a few free tables so we quickly grab one. We both order omelets and the waitress brings Remy a coffee and me a tea while we wait.

Remy is quiet as he prepares his coffee, but he looks thoughtful so I wait patiently to see if he'll tell me what he's thinking about. It's a comfortable silence for several minutes. I like that. I hate when silence is uncomfortable and you feel like you have to find something to say. Especially since I kind of suck at making conversation.

After a little while he looks up at me with a slightly sad smile and I tilt my head in a curious look.

"I'm sorry I messed up my chance to be your first," he finally says.

"It's okay," I reply. "There's still time to be my best."

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(Scotty tending bar at the Red Door)

Ashton

"Welcome back, Ashton!" Jacobi smiles and I nod slowly, the loud music pounding throughout the room, making my body vibrate.

"Hey," I mumble under my breath before looking around, "I need a bracelet."

"Oh," he frowns worriedly, "is someone bothering you?"

"No, nothing like that. Just want to send out the signal I guess," I chuckle humorlessly.

"What color, sweetie?" He asks with a small smile.

"Red," I tell him so he nods before turning around.

After a few seconds, he holds out a red bracelet and offers to help me put it on. I just hold out my wrist and he quickly fastens it. Nodding my thanks, I push my way through the crowd of grinding twinks and make it to the bar. Jacobi is usually behind the bar, I wonder why he's at the front desk tonight. Whatever. When Scotty walks over, I ask for a coke so he quickly gets it for me. I take a sip, debating on whether I should try to shoulder my way through the crowd with my drink and risk losing most of it. I shake my head and sit down on a newly vacant barstool.

"Why the long face?" Someone asks and I look over to see Eddie smiling at me. "It's been a while, Ashton."

"It has been," I agree since it feels like years since I've seen him, though it's only been a few months.

His hand gently glides up my arm until it rests on my shoulder as he leans closer, "sometimes when I'm alone at night, I close my eyes and I can still feel you. So deep inside me, fucking me so hard and good. I can't help grab my hard dick and stroke myself."

My hand tightens around my glass as his tongue traces the shell of my ear. I look straight ahead, tilting my head away from his mouth. Lifting the glass to my lips, I take a long sip as I brush his small, soft, yet sweaty hand off my shoulder with my other hand. I put my now empty glass on the bar top before getting to my feet. I nod at a smirking Scotty, not sparing Eddie a glance before I head towards the table. I can feel the gazes of a few Doms on me and look over. They're the Doms that Gideon would always sit with. I shift my gaze away from them as I sit at the empty table reserved for The Sub Club. After a few minutes of blankly staring at the dance floor, I feel their gazes move away from me and I heave a sigh of relief. Looking towards the VIP area, I see Lane is giving Master Matthias a lap dance.

No matter what, you never allow someone else's actions to affect you enough that you harm yourself. If they hurt you that badly, are they even worth it? Even if it was not intentional, you are hurting yourself, Ashton, and you don't see that. This isn't you, we all know that. You're better than this and it hurts to see you so low. He isn't worth your pain. If he was stupid enough to walk away, be smart enough to let him go.

Master Matthias' words echo in my head as I lean back in my seat, resting my head against the wall. He was right. That wasn't me. I don't know what the hell I was thinking when I decided to start going out and partying with random strangers. That's the thing - I wasn't thinking. That's what I wanted, to stop thinking around people that didn't know me. If they didn't know me, they didn't know about me. They wouldn't question my actions. I didn't want to be alone, but I didn't want to be around people that knew I was hurting. When I'm alone, I think. When I think, I remember. When I remember, I feel the pain. When I feel the pain, I'd cry. When I'd cry, I couldn't stop. So I hated being alone. I hated thinking. It drove me crazy.

"Ashton," someone calls worriedly and my shoulder gets gripped firmly making my eyes snap open and I take a shattered breath, "you're okay."

"M-Master Zion," I pant and swallow loudly as he crouches in front of me. "What are you doing here, Sir?"

"Well, I am a member of this club," he chuckles making me mentally face palm. "I was on my way to the bar when I saw you. You looked like you were in pain. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I nod slowly and run my hand through my hair, he catches my wrist.

"A bracelet, huh? Who are you running from, mój drogi?" he whispers as his thumb brushes over my palm. I notice that the bracelet doesn't deter him, but it's Master Zion, so I don't mind.

"Mój drogi?" I repeat and he smiles wickedly.

"Tak, mój drogi," he says softly before sitting on Payton's chair. Yes, my dear. "I believe you don't know my roots. I was born in Poland, moved here to Chicago when I was a child."

"No, I didn't know that." I shake my head as he gazes at me with his dark brown eyes which seem to pierce into me.

"You look as if being here is painful for you," he states making me frown, "I heard that you fell ill a few weeks ago. I sent flowers to your dorm. Did you get them?"

"Oh, yes." I nod slowly, not mentioning that I thought they were from Gideon so I trashed them.

"You threw them out, didn't you?" he chuckles with an amused glint in his eyes.

I wince slightly before nodding, "yeah, I didn't know they were from you. I thought they were from..."

"Yes, him," he cuts me off with a curt nod. "I also heard about that, I'm very sorry."

"Are you?" I throw back quickly and his eyes seem to soften.

(Master Zion)

"Yes, I am. I'm sorry that it didn't work out for you two, I could tell you were very smitten with him. You're still young though, there is no rush in finding the person who you will spend your life with. You can't even legally drink yet, settling down should not even be in your mind." He smiles with an understanding look in his gaze. "I can understand why you'd want to find that special person. Being with someone you love makes life easier, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't enjoy life while you're waiting to meet them. You're a handsome young man, Ashton, and I'd love to keep you company until you say otherwise."

"Are you trying to ask me to sign a contract? Seriously?" I huff, but he quickly shakes his head.

"No, no. Not a contract, not at all. I'd say more of friends. Doms and Subs can be friends without having sex, Ashton. Although I would not mind having sex with you, all night long, I know the time and place to have those thoughts. I believe what you need in this time of your life is a Dominant companion that will help you move forward and be there when you need to vent, without the sexual relationship. I think at the moment, sex can do more harm for you than good," he explains and I frown.

"So basically you want to be my Dom, but I don't have to have sex with you?" I ask making him tilt his head side to side.

"In lack of better, fancier words, yes. This lifestyle is not all about sex and if I'm being honest, I enjoy the emotional connection this lifestyle offers more than the sex. Don't get me wrong, the sex is a great part of it, but it's not the most important part." He chuckles, his eyes twinkling with a sincere honesty that makes me bite my lip. "A lot of Subs in this club want a Dom because they want someone to dominate them, mostly in bed. Others just want a one night stand, a release, a trip to subspace. They need it and I understand that, but I have yet to find a Submissive that craves to just sit and chat, like two normal people. Doms have needs too, more than just that to have someone submit to them. I'm a Dom that needs normalcy and I have yet to find that. I believe you can give me what I need and I can give you what you need...No contract, no rules. Just us, being us, getting to know each other and being there for each other."

I stare into his patient eyes. No contract, no rules. No sex. No real chance of getting hurt. I have no problem sitting down and chatting with Master Zion. We've done it plenty of times before...before I got with Gideon. Now that I think back, it never felt odd with Master Zion. I never felt the need to act a certain way or hold up to a certain standard. He'd just sit there and chat about random things, not minding a bit that I'd just stare at him while giving him short replies. I look down at my wrist, his thumb is still brushing over my palm again.

"What if I want to have sex?" I ask, making his brow shoot up. "I don't want to right now! And I don't think I'd want to anytime soon, but what if I, you know, get the urge to have sex?"

"Then it'd be my honor to relieve that urge of yours." He smirks before he lifts my hand to his mouth and kisses it, "but under no circumstance will I try to persuade you to have sex with me. As I said, that is not the type of relationship I crave at the moment."

I nod slowly, thinking it over.

"So what do you say, mój drogi?" he asks while tilting his head and I swallow.

"Do you wanna go get some coffee or something?" I ask making his eyes brighten.

"I'd love to," he agrees with a smile so deliriously happy that I can't help but smile as well.

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