Chapter 17

Jonah

       Ever since Reed told me what was going on with him, I kind of felt... useless. He was struggling with so much, struggling with all the thoughts and negative emotions inside of him. All while I felt like I couldn't do anything to make him feel better.

       I didn't even think he would ever feel better until his father's debt was paid but none of us saw how it could happen.

       Hopefully, when Reed came to Adagio Music Academy with us, that it might at least take his mind off of it for a bit. And he really needed something stable in his life.

       That didn't stop me from wishing there was someway I could help him. He was my brother after all. I should be there for him whenever he was feeling this way but I really wasn't.

       Well, I was right now. He finally got the all-clear from the doctor for him to go horseback riding so I took him to the stables since everyone else was busy. Dad and Mom were still staying in Meadowcliff but Dad had to go into work and Mom was working on how to get Reed enrolled in Adagio Music Academy. Linnea, Madison, and Ezra decided to go spend some time shopping. Well, Linnea and Madison did. Ezra was getting dragged along.

       Reed was immediately welcomed by the owners of the horse stables as soon as we got there, and a smile appeared on his face once he got to his horse Fate's stall. A small, genuine smile I didn't think I'd ever seen on him ever since Mom and Dad started fostering him.

       And as his older brother, it made me happy to see him genuinely happy.

       At least I now knew of one thing that would assist him in freeing his mind from the debt for a while. It was very evident how much he loved horseback riding when I was watching him out in the field. 

       Suddenly, a girl I recognized as the waitress Reed probably had a crush on, Lyric, walked over to stand beside me, resting her arms on top of the fence outlining the field Reed was horseback riding.

       "You're Jonah, right?" Lyric asked. "Reed's..."

       She didn't seem to know how to finish the sentence so I finished it for her. "Brother. And yes, I am."

       "How's he doing?" Lyric asked. "I know how much he loves his horse but he hasn't been here for a while."

       I didn't want to tell Lyric about what Reed was going through or even how Reed wasn't doing so well mentally since that was his decision to talk about and his decision only. So I just gave her an answer that everyone looking at Reed would have known about due to his injuries.

       "He's doing great," I said. "He just couldn't ride and he finally got the all-clear to go horseback riding today. And honestly, I didn't want him to come here because knowing him, he would try to sneak a ride anyway."

       "I don't blame him," Lyric said. "I mean, I definitely wouldn't want him to get on a horse when he's injured, nor would I do it if I was injured, but when you're a rider, it's very hard to go a day without riding."

       "Trust me, I know," I said. "I know nothing about horseback riding but Reed was complaining all the time about wanting to ride. He even told me once not to tell the doctor if he did get on. I'm just happy he really did wait until he was ready to ride again."

       And I was surprised he didn't sneak away anyway.

       At least he did wait.

       Reed's horse trotted over to where we were before he hopped off. "Hey, Lyric," Reed said.

       "Hi," Lyric said, giving him a small smile. "It's good to finally see you here again."

       "Yeah, sorry I couldn't come to help out with Fate," Reed said.

       "It's okay," Lyric said. "Jonah told me why."

       Reed frowned as he looked at me. He probably thought I told Lyric the main reason why, so I had to quickly assure him otherwise.

       "How I wouldn't let you here until your doctor gave you the all clear," I said. "So you're not tempted to ride Fate anyway."

       He released a small sigh of relief, which honestly made me feel a bit bad. He clearly had a hard time trusting people and worrying others would tell things about him he really didn't want to know.

       I had a feeling there was a lot more about his life that cause him to end up in the foster system that he wasn't telling me. Even from what he told me, it was clear where his lack of trust came from but there had to be more.

       But now that I had gotten to know Reed a lot more, I knew better than to push him into telling me. Or to even ask him. Asking could have been more than enough to make him upset. He needed to tell me on his own terms, not on the terms anyone else wanted.

       Lyric had to leave to go take care of the horses in the stables; she just wanted to say hi to Reed. After she was out of earshot, I looked at my brother and smiled. He just furrowed his eyebrows. "What?" he asked.

       "Oh, nothing," I said. "It's just great that you made a friend."

       "So what, I can't make friends?" Reed asked.

       "No, I'm pretty sure you know what I mean by that," I said.

       Reed sighed. "Jonah, no."

       "Come on, it's clear you like her even the tiniest bit," I said.

       Reed hesitated for a bit before saying, "Even if I did like her, I don't want to do anything about it. Right now in my life, the best thing I could do is focus on myself. And after years of going without any type of medication or therapy, I definitely need to work on myself."

____________

i missed my baby reed <3 i need to work on this more.

but yay, this book is in the longlist for the wattys! i'm so proud of my babies reed and jonah! (even though i'm the one writing this story lol)