"I'm surprised they haven't sent Maddox somewhere else," I say as I join my usual table with my four best friends.

"If they haven't sent you or me away," Honey says as she breaks her orange into slices. "They're not sending him anywhere any time soon."

I watch the boy from across the cafeteria. He's with his usual crowd, jesting and laughing at whatever. His dark hair is covering his eyes, even though he keeps swishing it to the side. As cool as he seems, I'm the victim he chooses to tease. When we first met, six years ago when we were first brought to the group home, he's was awesome to hang out with.

"Mateo's with him," my roommate, Andrea, says.

Michelle, one of Honey's younger sisters, makes an "Oooh!" and pokes her.

"You're so in love with him," she teases.

"Shut up," Andrea mumbles, drinking her soda. "I am not. Don't even know what that's like."

"Leave her alone," I say, but I'm totally grinning. "It's the one ray of sunshine she has in this dark tunnel."

The subject changes, but I seem to tune out. My mind has been on a lot in the last week. Because I am starting to realize I'll never see my dad again.

I'm eighteen years old. I've been in foster care for six years now. Yeah, social services took custody of me because my dad "wasn't providing me with what I needed". Okay, so he was going on a week without a job. He had interviews lined up already. Was that a good enough reason to take me away? It was in their eyes.

The last time I had a visiting day was so long ago. Like, it was last Christmas. It's the middle of the summer. I miss him.

"Earth to Turtle, you in there?"

A hand is waving in front of my face. I blink out of my trance, only to find Maddox in front of me. I should slap him for the nickname. It was once used fondly, because my name is Myrtle. But now it's just a menace.

"You sleeping in your shell, Turtle?" he chortles, flicking his finger at my left ear.

"Go bother your boyfriends," I slap his hand away.

"You insult me!" he feigns offence and gasps. "Ladies kill to have me grace them with my presence."

"Go away, Maddox!" Honey shouts, has her other sister, Stephie, throws a grape at him. "Bother someone else!"

The partial man-child rolls his eyes, steals a fry from my plate, and returns to his table with his friends. I don't watch him leave. If I do, I'll dreaming about his butt tonight. Again.

"That boy is nothing, but trouble," Honey says, going back to the original conversation.

"Mhm," I hum, though I'm still not entirely with the group. I think Andrea's the only one who knows that Maddox and I have a past. Because she came before the others and has been my roommate for a long time.

"New topic," Stephie says, clapping her hands. "Of you eighteen year olds, are you excited to be going to college in the fall?"

"Stoked," Honey replies, slapping a high-five to her sister. "What about you, Myrt?"

"Totally," I say, playing it off with a smile. "We're gonna rock the house!"

"Darn right, we are!"

Honey and I exchange a high-five. We just had birthdays in the last couple months. And as the oldest of our little group, we watch out for the "younger" ones. Really, if anything were to happen to them, I'd never be able to live with myself.

Stephie is chattering about the coming "field trip" the group home is doing. I'm not going. I have work. Crazy thought. I work in a comic book store with Maddox. But I'm the only one who knows that.

"Are you sure you can't get the day off to go with us?" Michelle asks, making a pouty face at me.

"I tried already," I reply, shrugging. "No use arguing with the manager." Or the assistant manager for that matter.

"Do you have to give up your paycheck again?" Honey asks, slurping the last of her shake.

"No," I smile, happy for a subject change. "I was brought into the office last week and given permission to get a bank account. I'll be reimbursed all the money I've had to give up, as long as I plan to use the money to get my life started. College, for one. But I don't have to worry about paying for my tuition until I'm two years in."

"Perks of being a foster kid," Andrea chimes softly.

"Darn tootin'."

The table erupts with laughter at my use of the phrase. It's nice to laugh. Sometimes, laughter is the only thing we have.

***

I'm sucking on a lollipop as I lean on the front counter. There's a few customers floating around, but aside of that, the store is slow. Maddox is talking to some other guy in the kids' comic section. I try not to think of fun times of old. Maddox and I racing each other to see who was faster. Hitting baseballs at the park. The jokes and the laughter. It sucks that we're not actually friends anymore. I question the fact all the time.

"Excuse me, miss?"

I stand straighter as a young boy and his father approach the counter. I put on my best smile.

"Would you like to pay for that?" I ask as the little boy places a stack of comics in front of me.

"Yes, but I had a question," the father replies with a chuckle. "There was a sale or discount going around in the last few days. Is that still applicable?"

"It is still valid, yes. There is also-" I reach under the counter for a book of coupons. "You might be able to get a good deal with these. Because all the Iron Man comics are going half price."

The kid's dad put his head back and pumps his fist.

"My wife is gonna kill me," he says, looking back at me. "But this way, I get something out of it too."

I laugh as I enter my employee code. I ring up the comics and apply all the coupons I'm allowed for the purchase. When the transaction is done, and I wave goodbye to the customer, Maddox saunters over. I sigh and prepare myself for what might be coming.

"That'll help you meet your quota," he says, leaning his elbow on the counter as he watches the front door, chewing on a friggin' toothpick. "You should keep your smiles to yourself. I think that kid means the dude's married."

"Shouldn't you be bothering some other poor soul?" I ask, sitting on my stool and picking up my magazine.

"You're the only poor soul worth bothering."

I give the back of his head a finger and turn to the last page I'd been reading. I try to ignore his presence, but Maddox is not something that can be ignored. So I keep my gaze on my magazine. Ten minutes later, he's still leaning on the counter. Playing with that stupid toothpick. I don't know what is the cause of it, but stuff in the mouth ust makes me want gag. Well, except for food. My brain makes the connection and distinction between what is edible and what's not.

"Would you take your disgustingness someplace else?" I ask, closing my eyes and putting my fist to my mouth as the gagging starts. Thinking about it makes the feeling worse.

"Why would I want to do that?" Maddox chortles; I can't see him, but I can tell the toothpick is not in his mouth just now. "Whoa, you look green. You really are a turtle."

"Just get rid of the toothpick," I grumble, hoping for silver lining.

"Is that what you're choking over? Sheesh, Myrt."

I hear a gentle thunk. I take a deep breath and open my eyes. Maddox is smirking at me.

"You're not allowed to call me Myrt," I tell him, taking my hair down and redoing the ponytail. "You lost all privileges of nicknames long ago. Why is that, I wonder."

His expressions falters, but he recovers quickly and shakes his head. His dark hair swaying into his eyes for a fraction of a second. He thinks I missed his moment of contemplation. But I caught it.

"Spray this counter," he says, dragging a finger along the surface and looking at it. "We don't want customers to bring dust home with their comics."

He marches away without another word. I watch him go to the back of the store. And I deflate. I don't know why. But I don't let myself dwell on what means nothing. I get off my stool and lean under the counter for the spray cleaner. Even though I just clean it before that guy and his son came in.