I looked straight up and just took in the stars shining above us, with nothing blocking their view, and suddenly regretted all the nights I'd slept with anything between me and the sky.... I had a feeling [my brother] was about to fall asleep, and I knew I wasn't going to be far behind him. I closed my eyes only to open them once more to make sure it was all still there—the riot of stars above me, this whole other world existing just out of reach.

—Excerpted from Since You've Been Gone by Morgan Matson

===

"You could go anywhere in the world. Where would it be?"

Luke's voice drifts, unbidden, from the tip of my felt pen to the page, right underneath the title of Professor Knowles's essay.

Mi Ciudad Natal.

My hometown.

★ ★ ★

Ting. Ting. Ting.

The steady stream of pebbles bounced gently off of my second-story window, each in an easy succession of the one before it.

Ting. Ting. Ting.

Despite the incessant string of noise, a smile twitched at the corners of my mouth as I laid my pencil next to the preparatory book.

Ting. Ting. Ting.

I opened it ever so slightly. "Lucas! You are going to wake my family."

"Lo siento, querida." He shrugged up at me as he delivered the flippant apology, his brown hair flipped back from his brow in that carefree way while a smirk quirked its endearing way across his lips. "But you need to come with me."

"It is the AP exams in a week, Luke." I pointed over my shoulder, but even then, I knew my protests were futile. "Besides, if my papá finds out—"

"It's five minutes, Elena. Five! Then you can come back to your papers, and no one ever has to know."

We had done it so many times before, I thought even Luke had started to believe it.

"Por favor, mi amor?" He gazed up through my open window, his brown eyes turned down in a puppylike plea.

I shook my head, unable to say no to his endearments, as ever. "Five minutes, Lucas. No more—"

"No less," he finished with a chuckle. "Yo sé. You always worry too much, querida."

With a long sigh, I pushed the window open further and edged my way onto the rope trellis that hung beside my room, climbing down it to greet him with a kiss.

His hands slid into mine, and our fingers twined together briefly before he pulled away.

I gazed up at him curiously, my familial apprehension dissolved with the prospect of another adventure. "So what is this surprise that I had to sneak out at one in the morning for?"

He tugged at me in answer, and I found myself being pulled along behind him.

The words flow easily for a few moments, but I soon find myself flipping the pen end over end as the tip taps an impatient cadence on the paper.

WRITE it NOW.

This paper is not about him, though the existent words seem to prove that a lie.

HURry UP.

This paper is about my history, my roots. Not him.

BETter THINGS to DO.

That last one tugs at the corners of my lips.

It seemed he always swept the world along in his wake, with a charisma that drew a ring of gravity akin to that of the sun's and with an aura that demanded attention. Very few things could stand against him. I was never one of them.

★ ★ ★

"It's the weekend, querida, can't we go out for once? Live a little?"

"I have to study, Luke, you know that. The SAT is Saturday, I need the weekend."

"Saturday makes..." He paused, his gaze drifting above my head as he visualized the calendar days. "...seven days, counting today. Seven days for you to study. We can take an hour, can't we?" His fingers laced with mine, tugging me ever closer to his side. "I found this great place when I was out driving the other day, I think you'll love it, querida."

"Are you telling me that it will take us one hour to get there and back?"

"Well..."

"Luke."

"Two. Maybe three. But I hardly see you anymore, querida, you know that."

"And I am trying to get myself into a—"

"A good university up north, I know."

"It is Columbia, Luke, I cannot mess this up. Besides, you know Papá does not exactly like it when I leave with you."

"What? It's not as if we're going back to my place."

"No, because then your hermanas would be the ones to give me away."

He sighed. "Ay, chica. You're going to run yourself dry. Especially if you keep on as you have been." Reluctantly, he released my hand, but not before dropping a kiss onto my head. "Just be careful, mi amor, I do not want to see you hurt yourself."

"You too."

He flashed me a cocky grin. "Me? Dangerous on a weekend? Never."

"Lucas."

"Fine, fine." He held up his hands in mock surrender. "I'll stay home."

"Promise?"

"Te lo prometo. I'll be okay, querida."

And so I nodded. He always was, when he wanted to be.

"Lane!" My roommate's shrill call breaks into my concentration. "I need you. Now!"

I whirl around in my seat, expecting to see her bleeding out on the floor. "Qué, qué pasó? What is it? What happened?"

"I can't find anything to wear tonight," she wails. "Look at me, I'm a complete mess."

The pink tulle of her dress sticks up in the back, and I suppress a groan. Not more wardrobe issues. "You look fine, Hannah."

"I do not, this looks awful. But I have nothing else to wear. Look!" She points inside her closet, which I now see is more of a mess than usual.

"It is Jake. Tu novio. Your boyfriend," I amend, anticipating her next complaint. "He has known you for, what, four years? I do not think he's going to care."

"But he could be my fiancé next. This could be the night, Lane, the night of all nights, and I'm not ready for it."

"What about that one?" I gesture at the gown on the back of the door. "You wore that for homecoming, did you not?"

"Exactly. I wore it once, I can't wear it again."

Rolling my eyes, I cross the floor to her closet. "What about this?"

I turn to face her, holding a pressed skirt in one hand and a sequined top in the other. "You will look wonderful. Muy bonita."

"I have no idea what that means, but you're a wonder, Lane. Thanks!" She takes them from me, and I return to my desk, shaking my head.

I never cared about the minutiae like this.

And neither did he.

He always made me forget. My duties, my responsibilities, my tasks. He made me forget who I was because, with him, nothing else mattered.

★ ★ ★

"Luke, I agreed to a date, not a blind meeting." I hefted my backpack higher on my shoulder. "Besides, you know I have work tomorrow, I cannot be up too late."

"Then hurry up and get in the truck." He leaned over to push the passenger door open further, shooting me that irresistible grin of his. "Unless you don't trust me?"

I tossed my bag onto the seat before swinging myself inside and pecking him on the cheek. "You know I do."

When we finally stopped, the dim lights of our neighborhood had faded into pinpricks of orange on a far distant horizon, and the sun had set long ago.

"Where are we?"

He shrugged, setting the brake. "Does it matter?"

"You really have a penchant for sounding like a serial killer on one of those television shows that Catalina likes..."

"Stop worrying so much, querida, it'll be fine." Luke swung his door open before jumping down.

I called after him, "You keep saying that," before muttering, "I do not think it means what you think it means."

But against my better judgment, I followed him, only to find him standing in the bed of the pickup. "What..."

"Come on." He leaned down, offering me his hand. I took it, and he hoisted me over the side before pointing. "Mira!"

My gaze followed his upraised hand to the sky. "Hala." Wow.

Stars.

Thousands upon thousands sparkled, each glittering like a tiny diamond on a velvet backdrop, each harboring its own individual world.

"Las estrellas..." They proved themselves invisible, even in our desert town of Rockport. "How did you find this?"

"I drive for Tío sometimes, you know, and I thought I'd take the longer route on the way back from the city a few nights ago." He dropped to the bed of the truck, gesturing for me to join him. "It gets better. Esperas."

I sat beside him, face still turned to the sky of diamonds.

First one gleam, and then another, drew streaks of silver across the velvet canvas until they exploded in a supernova of light.

I drew a sharp breath. "Qué bonita, it is gorgeous. How..."

"I did a little research." A slight movement as he shrugged next to me. "No es gran cosa. Anything for you, querida." A pause. "But you know what would be better?"

"Qué?"

"A better viewing position."

He tugged at my hand, and both of us fell backward onto the blankets in the bed. A surprisingly soft landing, all things considered.

Either it was the blankets...

Or the fact that I landed squarely on his chest rather than the bed itself.

My squeak of surprise turned to laughter while he smirked up at me.

"Lucas!"

"Elena!"

His mimic made me roll my eyes. "You are impossible, you know that?"

"But you love me."

My gaze suddenly turned serious as I reached to touch his cheek. "I cannot deny that one."

"Te amo, querida."

And as the heavens rained silver around us, our lips met in an explosion of their own.

"So? How do I look, Lane?"

I jump at my roommate's voice and sigh, tossing her a cursory glance. "You look great, amiga."

"Really?" She tugs at a curl of blonde hair. "I really just want this to go well tonight, you know?"

"Yo sé, I do." This time, I turn, giving her my full attention. "Hannah, if he loves you, you will know, and if it is meant to happen, it will."

"Will it?"

"Have you ever heard the saying, Qué será, será?"

"I speak Francois, not Español, Lane, we've talked about this."

"But it is a common saying..." I stop myself from sidetracking. "It translates to 'whatever will be, will be.' We cannot change our circumstances. We can only change what affects us within the bounds of those circumstances. Yourself, your actions. You can change those. You cannot change his."

She considers this for a moment and then gives a quick head-bob. "Okay."

I blink, shocked at her easy acquiescence. "Okay?"

"Okay," Hannah repeats, a mischievous grin spreading across the lower half of her face. "But if he asks me back to his apartment, I'm definitely staying with him."

And we are back to normal. "That is truly disgusting, mi amiga."

"But it's fair," is her parting response before the door swings shut behind her.

Fair, perhaps. But unwise. Quite unwise indeed.

Te lo prometo. I promise you. At that point, we had made so many promises to each other that we had started believing them.

That we had believed in forever. Para siempre. But not everything lasted forever. He could not control everything, after all. Not even if we wished he could.

★ ★ ★

When we finally parted, I rolled to the side, but his arm looped around my waist and drew me near as we watched the meteor shower.

A private showing, an unforgettable experience.

It seemed hours later that the blaze died to a trickle, and still, neither of us was inclined to move.

"I think I'll stay here for the night."

"Luke..."

"Yo sé, yo sé." He pressed his lips to my hair. "But we can at least enjoy it for a few moments, can't we?"

"I suppose." I snuggled closer, nestling my head underneath his chin, and we lay still for a long time before either of us spoke again. "Do you ever think about your place in the universe?"

He shifted slightly as if to buy himself time. "That's a bit of an arbitrary question."

"I know. But I was just thinking..." I slid a little out of his grasp, propping myself onto my side so I could see his chocolate brown eyes. "About the sky. How it is so vast, so large. All of those universes out there, even ones that we have not yet discovered. Light years apart, and yet we are just now seeing their glow. For all we know, half of them have collapsed into black holes, and we would not yet see the change."

A stunned silence sat between us.

"I mean... Something that large..."

"Makes me feel small, I know what you mean." He flipped onto his shoulder to face me. "And I know that you will discover all of it and more. You are smart, querida, intelligent beyond all of this. Your place in the universe... It is out there. With them. And one day..." He paused, a trace of sadness in his gaze. "One day, we're all going to say, la conocíamos cuando. You're going to leave this town, Elena, and when you do, you're going to be someone great."

"You think?"

"No." His hand gently cupped my cheek. "I know." Then he kissed me, but unlike our earlier one, this one held a note of desperation. Of untold longing. Of premature goodbye.

His mouth pressed hungrily against mine, satiating a deep desire that lived in the deepest, most hidden place of emotion.

Almost instinctively, I met it with one of my own. As it deepened, I wound my arm around his shoulder.

He carefully pressed me back so that I lay flat on the blanket, and he hovered just above me, our legs resting on top of the other.

We broke for air only once, and even then, it was as if I could not bear to be parted from him, and my lips immediately reclaimed his, tugging him closer.

He was so close, I could feel the steadiness of his heartbeat, pulsating in time with mine.

In response, his hand slid down my side, stopping at my waist, but I never wanted him to stop.

I wanted him to continue, to go further.

No.

It was not just a want.

It was a need.

I needed it.

I needed him.

The strength of my desire nearly overwhelmed me, and in the end, that same desire, and rather, the unfamiliarity of it, brought me back to my senses.

I placed a hand on his chest. "Luke..." His name was no more than a hoarse whisper on my tongue, murmured against the black of the night, and it took a few more fevered kisses for me to regain full control. "Luke. We have to stop."

He immediately backed away, breaking all contact and retreating to his former position. "Lo siento, I... You're right. We shouldn't."

My skin burned where his had once touched it, and I fought the urge to pull him back, to continue past the point of no return.

He stood and brushed off the legs of his jeans before offering me his hand, but I acted as if I had not seen it, choosing to stand on my own before saying quietly, "We should go."

"Right." He jumped down and reentered the truck. I followed quickly afterward, slumping onto the seat next to him.

Though we spoke not a word to each other on the way back to Rockport, I could not stop thinking.

What if I had not stopped it?

What if we had gone further?

Would we have survived the fall?

My pen drops from between my fingertips, and I shove my chair back from my desk.

Why is it so impossible to talk about him?

Why is it so impossible to write about Rockport?

After all, this paper is not about him.

It is about my hometown.

Not the people inside it.

Not him.

He was everything to me. But that night changed it all.

★ ★ ★

"You could go anywhere in the world. Where would it be?"

"You mean, other than the forbidden roof of Rockport High on prom night? Otherwise known as the night where everyone gets drunk, high, and laid?" I rearranged the folds of my midnight blue gown over my legs as we sat, our legs dangling precariously over the edge.

Luke chuckled. "Something like that."

"Anywhere in the world... You pose a difficult question."

"That's why I asked it."

"Somewhere north," I finally replied, "somewhere north, somewhere cold, and somewhere far away from here."

He was silent for a few moments. "You would trade this?"

"I would trade this town. Look at it." I swept my hand across the other roofs, clearly visible from our vantage point. From up here, it seemed the perfect postcard, but both of us knew otherwise. Only the broken alcohol bottles and ground cigarette stubs deigned to water the asphalt, and only weeds grew between the cracks of the broken pieces. Graffiti littered the walls, and Ritalin paraded the halls. "It is a disaster. There is nothing left."

"Perhaps not in terms of the town," he agreed. "But what about the people?"

"Well, I suppose the people are fine. But I still want out."

"Even if it meant leaving..." His uncompleted sentence dangled in the air, heavy with the avoided word. Us.

I glanced at him, surprise etching its way across my face. "Of course not. You would be coming with me." I reached for his hand. "You will be coming with me."

But he let my hand drop, refusing to meet my gaze. "My younger sisters, I can't leave them." He shook his head. "I'm born and bred Rockportian. I can't leave."

"You mean you will not."

"No, I won't."

My heart sank. I had known this conversation would happen sooner or later, that we had only skimmed the surface a few dangerous times, but I never thought it would happen tonight. Not now. Not so soon.

"We still have the summer—"

"And then what?" His voice grew dangerously quiet, and he still refused to look at me. "Then you up and leave and never come back?"

"That is not fair—"

"Neither is the fact that you get to leave." He leaped up from the edge and began to pace, his voice rising on each successive syllable. "What about the rest of us, Elena? We don't all have a way out, we don't all have a way off. You aren't the only one who's wanted to leave."

"Then come with me—"

"No!" The explosive word made me flinch. "No, I won't, and I can't, Elena, I have a family. My papá died two years ago, they need me to take his place. My mamá expects me to take his place. This is my reality, my eternity." He paused. "But it's not yours. It never was." As he turned away, I just barely caught his last murmured words. "And it never will be."

I am about ready to rip the paper to shreds and start over when a flash of light, the twinkle of a beam, catches my eye, and I cautiously reach for the curtain, pushing it back.

Hannah always draws them shut after dark, and after the first few days, I simply go along with it. After all, no view exists, save the polluted orange skylights.

But tonight...

Tonight is different.

My breath catches in my throat.

Shining almost directly above the dormitory is a single star.

Imposible.

I glance from my astronomy chart on the wall above my bed to the star hanging in the sky. Check it once, twice.

It is definitely there.

Polaris.

The North Star.

★ ★ ★

In the center of town, twin train tracks ran the separation of the ghetto and the affluent. I stood by them now, waiting for my ride.

The entire city turned out for this momentous occasion, it seemed, watching as Papá hugged me. "Naciste para esto, mija. Make us proud."

"No estamos preocupados por ti," someone in the crowd yelled.

Papá nodded in agreement as the cheers started up again. "You carry their hopes, their dreams, mija."

As I knew all too well.

There was only one who never expected anything of me.

One who only ever wanted me to be me.

Who wanted me to be happy.

The train let out a long, warning whistle behind me, and I disengaged from Papá, inching away toward my bags. But something stopped me.

I turned, scanning the crowd one more time. Even to just see a flash of curly black hair, a glimpse of that crazy smirk. Something. Anything.

But it was only wishful thinking.

Grabbing my bags, one in each hand, I put my head down and started to the train. I was within a stone's throw of the train car when I heard a voice.

"Querida."

"Luke."

I spun around, dropping my bags into a flurry of dust behind me as I ran back to him.

He caught me in his arms and pulled me close as tears poured down my cheeks, melting away the months of ice and frost that had taken up residence between us that night on the roof.

"Luke, I am so sorry—"

"No, querida, I'm sorry. I never should have said what I did—"

"I will stay, I can stay—"

"No, no. Querida, Elena, listen to me." I fell silent. "You must go, don't you see? This is your destiny. You have the freedom, the chance. Take it. Make it yours. And don't look back."

"But I cannot lose you, not again, Luke. I will not."

"Querida, even if you wanted to, you couldn't lose me. I will always be with you. Here." He tapped the side of my head. "Our memories will live together, even when we are not." A pause. "You asked me once about my place in the universe." I nodded. "It is here. At your side." I opened my mouth to protest, and Luke shook his head once, asking for silence. "You must leave now because that is your future. But we will find each other again, if not here, then in the life after this one. We will find each other because that is where we are meant to be."

Our gazes met.

"I will always love you," he whispered. "Siempre te amaré."

"And I you."

I felt his embrace tighten ever so slightly before slackening, preparing to let go, but I was not ready, so I reached up and gently held his face to mine.

Understanding what I wanted, he bent to kiss me, softly, sweetly, and for that moment, the crowd behind him faded away.

It was just him.

It was just me.

Para siempre.

For always.

As the train whistle sounded warningly again, Luke's lips brushed mine once more before he broke away.

"No te olvides de nosotros, querida." He gave me a sad smile. "Go."

I turned once more, wiping my cheeks with the back of my hand, and as I boarded the train, all I heard were his final words.

No te olvides de nosotros.

Don't forget about us.

I will not, I promised silently. Prometo. I promise.

★ ★ ★

Driven by a strange compulsion, I drop my paper and bolt for the stairwell, desperately hoping for rooftop access.

When I find it, I burst outside into the cool night air and spin in a circle.

There!

I walk until I am standing just underneath its light, and a thought occurs to me.

You know what would be better? A better viewing position.

So I kneel, sit, and eventually, lay, on the roof.

Colder than the truck bed and infinitely more lonely, but something about Polaris's starlight lessens the solitary nature of my current state.

I briefly reach up to it before allowing my hand to fall back, and my thoughts seem to crystallize in the starlight as a mirror image of him in the field outside Rockport, seeing the same stars as me, forms in my mind's eye.

It's the weekend, querida, can't we go out for once?

I know that you will discover all of it and more.

Siempre te querré.

I will always love you.

I catch that thought, that memory, and I touch it to my lips before releasing it into the air.

Letting it go.

Just as he once let me go.

At that moment, I know what to write about.

★ ★ ★

Mi ciudad natal es donde vivo. It is where I live. It is my root. But it is not just the city. It is the people who made me, for, without them, a city is merely four walls and a floor. I am my people, and my people are me. No olvidaré. I will not forget.