ALEX'S POV  (from now on, the story will resume from Alex's POV. I will probably change the POV again from time to time, though)

Warmth. 

That's the first thought that comes through my mind as Malik pushes his cock deep inside me. 

I have never felt so warm before, I realize, before letting out a soft moan at the feeling of his hot member, both hard and soft at the same time, gently rubbing against my inner walls. 

How comes I never noticed until now that I was always feeling so cold? 

There isn't a centimer left between us, and I wouldn't have it another way. I like that he's hugging me so tightly with one arm, while his other hand is busy playing with my hair. I never realized how much I craved skin to skin contact. 

I used to be a lonely child, and the lonely child became a lonely adult. That is, I think, a pretty common story.

Maybe today is the day when the loneliness ends. 

Hugs and comfort are nice, but when you're in your mate's arms, 'nice' doesn't even start to describe the feeling that warms up your entire being.

A slightly harsher thrust wakes me from my daydream and I let out a startle moan, before glaring at said mate. 

"Ouch! What was that for?"

"Oh, don't give me that look now, Alex! I think you enjoyed it, if you tightening up around my dick and moaning for the world to hear were any indications."

Oops. Okay, he got me there. No way I'm going to admit it, though. 

"I didn't enjoy it at all. You surprised me, that's all". 

Rule number one: never challenge Malik, especially not in bed. I gulp when he smirks at me, his expression turning mischevious. 

"Really? Then should I do it again, now that you're fully prepared for what is to come? Do you think this time you won't react to it at all?"

"Don't you dare-"

I scream in pleasure and barely refrain myself from cuming all over myself like a teenager when he does it again, this time hitting a spot deep inside me. 

"Told ya you couldn't handle my enhanced sexual skills" he says in a triumphal tone, before giving me a chaste peck on the lips to redeem himself. "Also, just so you know, little Alex - now that I have found your sweet spot, I won't ever stop playing with it. I will make you feel so good that you will cry."

Never has a threat sounded so promising. 

"What have I done for the Goddess to give me such a cruel mate?" I complain, making the asshole laugh. 

"It's your own fault. You should have focus on me instead of being lost in your thoughts. "

"But I was actually thinking about y-"

I bite my lips but it's too late. The bastard lets out a fond laugh, before cooing at me. 

"Aww, look at you, little Alex, you're actually blushing. I never knew my mate could be so cute."

"I hate you"

"I love you too." he kisses me and I melt. "Now, old man, since you always tease me about my youth, let me prove you how much stamina young people can actually have"

He winks at me, before grabbing my legs and folding me in half, allowing him to slide even deeper while having complete control over my body. 

Oh, Lord, this is going to be a long night. I'm way too old for that. 

******

Cold. 

That's the first thought that comes through my mind as I wake up alone, in the middle of nowhere. 

I got used to living inside of a house again, and that's part of the reason why I am feeling so cold now. 

"You also wouldn't feel cold if you had stayed with our mate." a voice whines  inside my head and I let out a low growl. 

The day hasn't even started and my wolf is already annoying me. 

"Another wet dream? Are you serious? It's been the fifth time this week! Stop punishing me for something that was doomed to happen." You know I had to leave." I complain, fully aware that he will just deny everything, like he always does.

"How is it my fault?" the stupid mute asks in his sweetest voice - which doesn't sound sweet at all. "You're just dreaming about what you desire, deep down. I'm not the pervert here."

"Sure you aren't" I grumble, feeling frustrated for wanting things I should never think about in the first place. 

"If you keep accusing me of something I have never done, Alex, then next time I will make your dream even  kinkier." he threatens me. "Ever thought about urethra fucking? I've heard that if it's carefully done, it can actually feel amaz-"

"LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR A SINGLE THING OF WHAT YOU'RE SAYING"

Let's forget about this pervert wolf. The dream was fantastic, but it was just a dream, and when I wake up to my aimless existence, I feel worst than I ever did. 

"I know you want Malik." my wolf interrupts my thoughts again, and this time there's a soft edge to his voice. "I was serious right now you know, when I said that I wasn't purposely interferring with your dreams. You're dreaming about completing the mating process because that's what you should have done by now. It's not healthy to be separated from our mate for so long. It's been what, almost two weeks now?"

"Thirteen days" I reply feebily,  closing my eyes to prevent the tears from falling. 

Even if there's none to see me cry, I still don't want to allow myself the luxury. Victims have the right to cry, not cowards and certainly not traitors. 

"I know you miss him. I know how much you need him." my wolf persists. "It doesn't have to be difficult, Alex. All you have to do is -"

"Shut up!" I cry loudly, equally frustrated with myself, my wolf and the rest of the world. "First, there's no guarantee that he would accept the fact that I am a werewolf and not a human. Maybe he didn't react as badly as I had feared but still, he didn't look too pleased by the news. Second, even if he did, you know that I can't be with Malik because of what I did! I lost the priviledge of being happy the day I took part in a plot against my best friend"

"I think Master Malik would understand-"

I let out a small, unamused chuckle. He can't be serious. I know he doesn't even believe in what he is saying. 

"Really, now? You think he could forgive me when even you, my own wolf, couldn't forgive me for so long! You just disappear because you couldn't stand being the wolf of a traitor! Now, don't try to bullshit me with your sweet lies! I know that what I've done doesn't deserve forgiveness "

"Alex, that's not true, not entirely at least. I know that now and I'm sorr-"

"You know what? Just leave ! I never said I wanted you back in my life anyway. I can handle being on my own, I have had years of practice."

"I have to say it again - I'm sorry, and I won't be far. I will make myself scarce in a corner of your head.las you asked. If you need me, just call my name" he promises in a feeble tone but I shake my head in disagreement. 

"What part of ' just leave' don't you understand? Do I need to sing it for you? Go now, go. Walk out the door. Just turn around now, cause you're not welcome anymore."

This time, he doesn't reply and I feel slightly guilty because he doesn't deserve my harsh words. 

He did leave me once but I definitely deserved the silent treatment. 

I'm not mad at him, not really, I just don't know how to reconnect with my wolf again. We've been apart for too long. Of course, he knows a lot about me, as he can hear my thoughts, whenever I give him access to them. 

 Still, I don't think he realizes how close I am sometimes to giving up on everything. 

He doesn't realizes that the only reason why I'm still alive is because I'm scared of dying. 

Or is it really the only reason? Things are changing. Actually, they're changing so fast it's scaring me. I haven't known Malik for a very long time, but he makes me want again. 

He makes me want to be happy. 

He makes me want to trust, love and live. 

Even before knowing he was my mate, I knew he was someone I wanted to be forever by my side. 

So, he's my mate. I'm not that surprised, I was always drawn to him like moths to the light. 

Yet, what could have been a wonderful news also terrifies me. 

What if Malik only wants to be with me because I'm his mate? 

What if the mating bond makes him loose all common sense, and he agrees to stay with a rogue just because his judgment is clouded?

I want him to want me for what I am and not just because we're mates. 

I want him to decide to be with me with full knowledge of who I am and what I have done. 

I would prefer him to reject me rather to stay with me because he feels like he has to, yet the mere idea of being rejected by Malik makes me sick in my stomach. 

I need you, Malik. I can't be happy with anyone else but you. I want to prove you that despite what happened to you, werewolves aren't evil creatures. 

Well, I am not sure about myself, but you should meet Kyle, he's amazing. There's so much love in this raw, tormented being. 

I don't feel good at all. Everything in me is screaming for my mate. 

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like every decision I make is always the wrong one. I thought it would be better for everyone if I just left the Island, but how can a decision be good, when it leads to such an intense pain?

I lay down on the ground, feeling more alone than ever with my wolf grieving in silence and my mate far away. 

Is Malik looking for me?

*****

"Alex?"

I sit up so quickly that my head starts spinning. 

"Kyle?"

"Alex, where are you?"

"I am not sure" I admit with an embarassed voice, although my bad sense of orientation should be at the bottom of the list of the reasons why I should feel embarassed. 

"Alright, can we - can we meet?" there's a hint of hesitation in his voice, making me ask him to repeat what he just said  through our telepathic link.

"I said, can we meet?" he asks again, this time a bit more firmly. "I just wanna talk, I think we didn't really had the opportunity to talk after you - you know. Anyway, Darren and Nate aren't with me" he adds precipitely, as if he's afraid I would use this argument to decline his invitation. 

Well, let's be honest, I would probably have. 

"What, did you really manage to sneak out behind their back?" I ask, a bit incredulous. "You, a pregnant wolf with two Dominant Mates?"

"Hey, I'm a very capable werewolf. I used to be one of the best warriors of the pack - still am, actually. Wait, how do you know I am pregnant?"

I smirk a bit at his innocent question. "It was a lucky guess but come on, Kyle, everyone knew it was doomed to happen sooner than later. You are mated with two horny dogs, for God's sake! Congratulations, by the way"

"That's -ermh, that's true" he admits begrundgingly and we both start laughing. 

When he resumes talking, the tension between us has considerably lessen. 

"So, I take it as a yes, then? You're going to meet me?" he asks again in an hopeful tone.

"Huh, okay, then. Yes, I will meet you. Just tell me when and where?"

The Past is knocking at my door and maybe it's time for me to let them in

A/N: Sorry for the long wait, guys, and thanks a lot for being so supportive and understanding! <3 Also, don't despair: our two lovebirds shall be reunited soon!

Enjoy the rest of your week-end xxxxx