What do you first say to a person that you haven't seen for years, because said person believes you to be a wannabe murderer - oh, and a traitor, too?

Admittedly, this is a complicated question, and I don't think anyone has the answer.

I look up, before hastily glancing down again as I find Kyle already looking at me with a troubled expression, his hands unconsciously caressing his round belly in a nervous way that makes my heart clench. Of course, he wouldn't feel comfortable around me. Not anymore.

Still, he looks so much better than the last time I saw him. He looks healthier. Happier. He has long hair now, tied up in a thick braid and it makes him look even hotter - not that I fancy him or anything, he was always a good friend to me, nothing more. I am pretty sure Darren and Nate are responsible for this new hairstyle, because the Kyle I know would never accept such a change.

So, this is the new Kyle: long hair, round belly, big ass and clean skin. Of course, you can tell, by the way he moves, that he is still a badass warrior but at least there are no longer blue half-moons under his eyes.

I knew things would get better between him and his mates, from the very beginning when they learned he was their mates and were devastated by the news. He didn't believe me at the time, of course. He was adamant that they would never forgive him for assaulting Nate and he was doing his best to hide his submissive nature from them. I remember telling him countless times that before long Darren and Nate would realize how precious their third mate was.

I was right. Finally, these two idiots came to their senses and my favourite werewolf has stopped running away from his problems.

He suddenly clears his throat and I almost jump at the sound, trying my best to look at everything but him, which is more difficult than it sounds because there isn't much to look at in the first place in the small chalet where he asked me to meet him.

I didn't even know he owned such a place. Or maybe it isn't his. Maybe it's just a random place he found and that he now uses to hide dead bodies.

Ah! Just kidding.

I give him a small smile, one that probably looks more like a grimace but let's all appreciate the effort. In turn, he tries to smile back but it's also very far from what an authentic smile looks like.

This is akward.

He probably wishes he was elsewhere, with his mates, for instance. The persons that he can trust and love instead of a grim figure from a past he is trying to forget about.

This is painful. I used to be so carefree around him. I was his confident, and we both shared a bit of our respective traumas. Now, I can't even bring myself to look at him in the eyes.

I have to say something. Anything to dissolve the tension between us. Think, Alex. Think about something appropriate to say.

"So, Kyle, how are you going to give birth? I mean, will the baby come out of your ass?" I eventually ask, before widening my eyes in horror.

I can't believe I just asked him that.

My former best friend is now looking at me with a bewildered expression, his cheeks turning a nice red color that I would probably have tease him for, had we meet in a different context.

"Fuck you" he eventually mumbles, although he thankfully looks far from offended. "It's already embarassing enough to have Darren and Nate explaining to me that my asshole will stretch out naturally, I don't need you to add fuel to the fire"

"Oh my God, for real, Kyle? I mean, I was only jocking here! Damn, your - then it will turns the size of a basketball! Although, with two Dominants mates, I'm pretty sure it is already quite bi-"

He jumps on me at that, trying to cover my mouth with his hand to make me shut up.

We both struggle a bit, but he easily overpowers me and pins my arms above my head with one hand, while the other is still carefully covering my mouth- but hey, it's okay, I can always tell myself that I let him win because he is pregnant.

"I knew I could count on you to break the tension by some rude-as-fuck comment" he eventually declares, giving me his hand to help me up. "Also, you're pretty bold, for a virgin"

I am not a virgin, I tell myself, thinking back about that awful night when I lost my virginity - or rather, when my virginity was stolen from me.

Shaking my head and deciding that now isn't the good time to start a pity-party, I snort, giving him a playful shove.

I feel a bit relieved, because at least we are now acting in a more natural way toward each other.

At the same time, I feel terrified because I know the truce won't last and that I will have to explain myself to Kyle sooner than later. I can't fuck up this time. I don't expect him to forgive me, but at least I hope he will hate me a little less after hearing me out.

"You look like shit, Alex. Are you okay?" he observes, frowing with concern - something that I don't deserve at all.

"Nice. I was going to say that you look great, but actuallly, I take that back" I reply lightly, but he isn't fooled.

"Stop joking around, Al. I'm serious. You haven't been taking good care of yourself, have you?"

"Coming from you, that's rich" I retort before biting my lips regrettfully. I didn't want to say that. Surprisingly, he doesn't look mad. Has this new Kyle also been taking relaxation classes or what?

"Look, Alex, I know I used to deal with the daily pain in a self-destructive manner, but I am doing much better, now, with Darren and Nate's help, so believe me when I say there's hope for everyone. Also, you gave me good advices back then, so I think it's my turn to share my experiece"

"Yeah, but-"

"Hear me out first. I know you, Alex. You're here with me, but your mind is somewhere else. Where is your mate anyways? Why aren't you with him right now?"

"He's - wait, who, why, what? How do you know I have met my mate?"

"The dream. You projected some of your thoughts to me while you were sleeping" he replies delicately, but I still blush, ashamed that he saw such a weak side of me.

"I don't really want to talk about it now" I mumble, making him sigh.

"Fair enough, but please don't do the same mistake I did. Don't keep running away. You'll just waste more time, and time is the most precious thing in the Earth. You think you have a lot of it, but suddenly you haven't. "

"Wow, Kyle, it's too early in the morning for all this philosophical shit"

He laughs at that, not because my comment wasn't particularly funny, but because he can see I am feeling akward.

Everything is still very akward. I mean, it's nice to be joking around with my former best friend, but at the same time, what about the elephant in the room? We can't pretend nothing ever happened. At the same time, I have no idea how to approach the matter.

Haha, oh, by the way, let's now talk about the time when I was banned from the pack for trying to murder you.

Yeah, sounds like a very good start.

"So, humm, how is the pregnancy going?"

He looks like he wants to talk about something else but to my greatest relief he doesn't, instead looking down proudly at his huge tommy.

"Huh, it's going great. To be honest, finding out about the pup in my belly was a big shock, although of course I always knew it could happen to me if I was to have sex with a dominant wolf. I got used to the idea eventually, as I got used to see my body changing, slowly becoming more soft and round. Darren and Nate are super protective over me, which feels nice, most of the time. I can't say I am not freaking out about popping this baby out, though. Darren and Nate said they were going to be by my side, so it makes the whole thing seem a bit less terrifying."

Is it bad that while I am absolutely ecstatic to learn that my friend is doing so well, I can't help but feel a little jealous? He's a great guy, strong, funny, and with an amazing body. He is now in a very healthy relationship with two equally great and hot guys, and they are having a baby.

I mean, my mate also has all these qualities and more, but I am not Kyle and I don't deserve to have such an awesome mate.

I am not saying this out of self-pity. I mean it. It's a fact.

"Well, if you Don't want to be with your mate, you can still come back and live with the rest of the pack" Kyle eventually declares, making me look down at him in stupefaction.

"Huh?"

"Close your mouth, you'll swallow a fly" he laughs, before adding "I think it's time you come back home"

Never in my life have I been so close to crying. What the hell is wrong with Kyle? He thinks I betrayed him, which, for the most part, is true. I have been banned from the pack for attempting to kill him and now, he is the one worrying over my well-being and asking me to come back with him? We haven't even referred to the "event" yet and he already seems ready to forgive me.

I look at the simple furnitures, the wooden table, the fireplace, the drawing of a boat hanging on the wall. I am just trying to buy myself some time. How could I even consider his offer?

First, I don't deserve it. I don't belong with my peers anymore.

Second, I highly doubt everyone in the pack would be so keen on forgiving me, starting with his two beloved mates. Though, I am not afraid of being killed, not anymore, so I guess this isn't a good enough reason for me.

Finally, I can't imagine myself living without Malik. I don't know if I will be strong enough to resist the temptation of running back to him and beg for forgiveness, as the thought has crossed my mind more than once. What I know is that I will never be happy without him, so if we never cross paths again, I would prefer being on my own rather than living a fake happy life with other persons.

"Not home?" I eventually declares, making him raise an eyebrow.

"What?"

" Thank you, Kyle, I am really moved by your proposition, but I can't call our pack home anymore. Where my mate isn't, there can be no home."

"If that's true, then why did you run away, my little Alex?"

We both jump at the sound of a third voice and I look behind me to see my mate standing at the doorway, a stern expression on his face.

My wolf, this needy little shit, starts an improvised 'dance of joy' in my head but even I have trouble keeping a calm composture when my mate - finally - is here.

"You told him where I was" I tell Kyle in an accusative voice.

"Alex, please understand, he was worried about you and wanted me to help him find you" Kyle pleads me and I close my eyes, as I slowly assemble the last pieces of the puzzle.

"You didn't even want to meet with me in the first place! All these stories about wanting to talk to me... you were just helping Malik!"

"No, I mean, yes, but Kyle I also wanted-"

"That's okay, I understand why you didn't want to talk to me, it's perfectly normal. I will go now" I quickly interrupt him, heading for the door before one of them can see the tears that are threatening to fall from my eyes.

I don't go very far, though, as I hit a solid chest and almost fall from the impact.

The moment firm arms wrap around me, I stop fighting entirely and instead slump against my mate, crying in silence against the crook of his neck while he rubs my back soothingly.

"What the fuck is going on here?"

Malik hugs me even more tightly, his stance turning protective as I tense up upon hearing Darren's angry voice.

I slowly turn around in his hold to see two pairs of angry eyes looking back at me. Darren and Nate are both standing next to a sheepish-looking Kyle, as if they were afraid I would attack their mate.

"Okay" I sigh, "time to get ride of the elephant."

"Huh?"

"The elephant in the room"

So I updated a bit later than usual and I'm dead tired so I apologize in advance for any mistakes/incoherences. Also, hope this chapter wasn't too boring, next one should be filled with more interesting revelations.

Until next time, take good care of you guys xxxx