"Oh, my god," I said, gasping for air. "Oh, my god, this can't be happening."

I heard Louis calling, "Ash, are you okay?"

I stormed into my room and whipped the phone at him. "Is this what you wanted to talk to me about?! Trying to figure out how to make a clean break after you screw me over? Or were you hoping you could get another hundred grand out of me first?!"

"Ashten," he said shakily. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Read the text!" I screeched.

His eyes scanned over the message and his face went white. He looked up at me in panic. "Oh, my god, Ash, I can explain-"

"So it's true?! You're not even going to try to come up with another lie to cover your ass?" I spat.

"Ash, please," he said, jumping out of bed and rushing to me, trying to pull me into his arms.

I yanked myself away. "No! I can't believe I fell for this! It all makes sense now."

"Ash, please calm down! I can explain everything," he said, trying not to lose his cool.

"Explain what? That you only pretended to love me so that you could use me?! No explanation necessary, thank you! I figured that out already!"

"It's not like that! Would you stop freaking out so we can talk?!" He said, finally breaking into a yell. "It's true, okay? That was my original plan and I was such an idiot! But-"

"Okay, good! You've told me the truth, now get out of my life!" I shrieked.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Preston standing in the hall just outside my room.

"Preston, I need to go home! Get my car ready!" I ordered him.

"But Ashten-"

"Just do it!!!" I shouted and I ran outside in my bare feet. I flicked the locks and climbed into the back seat and screamed and cried for what felt like hours. I didn't even realize how cold it was until I heard the door open.

"Leave me alone, Louis!"

"It's Preston," I heard his quiet voice saying.

"Are you ready to take me home?" I asked, my voice quivering and my body shaking furiously from the cold.

"Ashten, you're in your pajamas and you've got nothing packed. Let's go inside."

"No! No!" I shook my head violently. "I can't go back in there. I have nothing to say to him!"

"Then just come in to get warm. I'll tell him to stay away from you," Preston soothed.

I nodded, my teeth chattering. I followed Preston like a puppy dog into the house and towards my room. I saw Louis out of the corner of my eye, watching like a hawk.

"Ash," he pleaded quietly.

"Give her some space," Preston told him.

Preston threw back the blankets on my bed. "Get in," he ordered. "You're freezing."

I complied and he arranged the blankets back over me. Then he disappeared for a few minutes, coming back with a cup of hot tea in his hands.

"Drink this," he said.

I slowly sat up and took the cup from his hands. I sipped it, but I could hardly taste anything.

After several moments of silence, Preston said, "It's not what you think, Ashten."

"Don't tell me what I think," I said. "I know what this was. Some grand conquest. An elaborate revenge on my kind."

"No, it's not that, and you know it," Preston urged. "I know that he is madly in love with you. And you know it, too."

"I can't trust him. How could he do this to me?" I said miserably.

"Everyone makes mistakes, Ashten. But he loves you. Don't you get that?" Preston said.

"I don't want to talk anymore," I told him. "I want you to take me home in the morning."

"Sure," he said.

Then he left and I cried myself to sleep.

When I awoke in the morning, I had an awful headache. I tried to remember why I felt so terrible and then it all came back to me and my chest heaved with new cries of grief.

How could he do this to me? I believed that he loved me, and god, I loved Louis so. much. How could he tear my heart out like this?

I realized that I couldn't really go home because my father just gave Louis and me his blessing; if I went home crying, I would look foolish. I decided to stay put for a few days, but I wasn't sure what to do about Louis. If I made him move out, my father would find out about that, too, because Louis was supposed to be working for him.

Deep down, I didn't want Louis to leave at all. I wished that I could just go back in time and pretend I never saw that stupid text! I wish I could go back to being blissfully unaware and that Louis would go back to being perfect.

I heard a light knock on the door.

"Who is it?" I grumbled.

"It's Preston. Can I come in?" He said quietly.

"Yes."

He came in and sat down across from me on the bed. "Are you hungry?" He asked.

"No."

"Louis wants to talk to you," he said gingerly.

"No."

"You're not being fair, Ashten. He deserves a chance to tell you his side of the story."

"You mean he deserves a chance to lie to me some more?" I scoffed.

"You're over-reacting!" He snapped. "Why would he go to so much trouble just to put a notch on his bedpost? He's a man in love, and he's hurting right now."

"Tell him to join the club," I muttered.

With that, Preston left. He came back briefly to give me another cup of tea, and then he left me alone again.

A short while later, Louis walked in. He was so quiet, I didn't notice him at first.

"I don't want to talk," I said flatly when I realized he was there.

"Then let me talk," he said. "You deserve an explanation."

"I deserve someone who won't lie to me," I spat back.

"Okay, you're right. I lied," he said, putting his hands in the air. "I admit it."

"All right. That's that. See you later," I said sarcastically.

"Come on, Ash. Don't do this. I love you."

"You aren't capable of love," I said, glaring at him. "You said yourself that you screwed all those girls after Katie died, and now you're just back at it again! This is who you really are! I'm just another challenge to you!"

I knew my words hurt him deeply by the look on his face.

"I made a mistake," he whispered, his voice cracking. I didn't dare look into his eyes because I knew he was about to cry. "A fucking stupid mistake. But I realized it as soon as I saw how scared you were. That first night at The Underground? I saw how stupid I'd been, and I felt awful."

"Good," I said.

I replayed that night's events in my head and had a sickening realization. "Did you put Harry up to it?" 

I looked at him and his face hardened into stone. "Well?" I asked, waiting for an answer that he clearly didn't want to give.

He still wouldn't respond.

"You did, didn't you? You put Harry up to it so that you could swoop in and rescue me. So you could look like the hero."

Louis nodded, clearly ashamed of what he'd done. "When I noticed that you had followed me, I told him to give you a scare." His voice was shaky again. "He wasn't supposed to hurt you, and he wasn't supposed to steal your bracelet. He was fucking wasted."

I bit my lip hard, trying not to cry. "So you and Preston didn't have to go to the police to get my bracelet. You just had to go and find Harry."

He nodded again.

"I'm not sure how long you were planning to keep this up, but it's over, Louis. You have your tuition and your future. Now leave me alone."

While I was looking down into my tea, I heard him start to cry deep, shuddering sobs. "Is that what you think? That I manipulated you into getting me into Harvard and giving me your money? Do you really believe that?!"

"That's what it looks like," I said.

"Well, then it's not what it looks like!" He said. "I started the summer with the worst of intentions and I'll be the first to admit that I was an asshole." He came to me, kneeling on the floor next to my bed, looking up at me, tears streaming down his face. "But Ash, I fell in love with you almost immediately because you are amazing and brilliant and beautiful. You took my life by storm and to be honest, I spent the rest of the summer in an absolute daze because you turned my life upside down. When I found you, Ash, I found my soul mate."

"Stop it," I whispered, feeling like my heart was literally being torn out of my chest. "Stop. Just leave me alone. I don't want to hear any more of your lies. I can't handle it."

"I'm done lying, honey, please. Please believe me. Please forgive me."

"Just leave, Louis," I said. "Get out of here."

And he did.

All I wanted was to fall into a deep sleep and forget that Louis ever existed. Either that, or die. Death would have been better at that point because living without Louis in my life would be absolute torture.

When I finally woke up again, I wandered out into the house, looking for Preston. I wanted him to make sure that Louis kept his distance.

I found my phone and called Veronica and told her everything. She sat in a stunned silence for so long that I thought she might have hung up.

"Veronica?" I asked in a weak voice.

"I'm here," she said quietly. "I...I just can't believe that Louis would do that to you."

"I can't either," I said, starting to cry again. "I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't want to live without him, but I can never trust him again."

Veronica talked to me for a long time, finally convincing me to step back and get some perspective on the situation. That sounded wise, but I was so painfully torn between letting him take me in his arms and telling me everything would be okay and walking away so I could never, ever get hurt again.

After we hung up, I still wanted to talk, so I called the only woman I knew in Boston. "H...hey, Carly," I said, trying to keep my voice even.

"What happened?" She asked. I guess she knew something was wrong because I really stunk at hiding my feelings now.

"I just need to talk to someone. Can I, um, come over or something?"

"Yeah," she said. "Of course. Do you know where I live?"

"No, I don't actually...."

"How about this? The kids are due for a nap, so I'll put them in the stroller, then I'll walk over and pick you up. We can walk back here and hopefully have some quiet while they're snoozing."

I let out a huge sigh of relief. "That sounds great," I said.

I took a quick shower and I didn't even bother doing anything with my hair. I found Preston and told him, "I'm going to Carly's. I have my phone in case you need me." Then I went outside to wait for her.

It turned out she lived rather close. Her townhouse was similar to ours, except quite a bit messier. I staggered to the couch and plopped down. It was late afternoon and I realized just then that I hadn't eaten in the past 24 hours.

Thankfully, Carly asked, "Would you like something to eat?"

"Yes, please."

She brought me a plate of lasagna and a breadstick. I practically wolfed it down without taking a breath in between bites.

"Your kids take late naps," I remarked.

"Not always. We just had a busy day today," she said.

"I'm sorry if I'm intruding," I began.

"No, not at all. I love to have company. Especially other adults," she laughed. "So tell me what's going on."

I told her all about my relationship with Louis, beginning with the very first day he started working for my family. Then I told her all about Richard and how I ended up falling in love with Louis. I finally got to the text from Harry, and I was struggling to keep it together.

"The whole thing was just a sham, an elaborate plan to get me in bed and get money out of me," I sniffed.

"Oh, Ashten, I'm so sorry. But I think that you're judging Louis a little too harshly. Everyone makes mistakes."

"So it's acceptable for him to use me?" I asked, wondering how she could take his side.

"Ashten, love is complicated. He made a completely asinine mistake, but I think he really loves you, and I'm sure he'd do anything to make it up to you."

"You don't understand," I said. "I can't trust him again. I just can't."

"Well, it sounds like this Harry character is the one who can't be trusted," she said. "But if you want to talk about someone who's not trustworthy, I'll give you a better example. My ex, Rodrick, was a real piece of work. He cheated on me, for starters. Then he would go missing for days at a time, but when he came back, he'd always tell me that he'd figured it all out and that he'd be a better man now that he got his priorities straight. But he never got them straight, and shortly after Izzy was born, he left for good."

"What if Louis turns out to be like that? I mean, he keeps saying he's sorry and he made a stupid mistake, but what if he's lying to me? What if he really using me and I just fall for it over and over again?"

She shrugged. "I guess you just have to go with your gut. Do you really think he would do that to you?"

I looked at her, still feeling so vulnerable. "I don't know. I don't want to get hurt anymore," I said.

"Love hurts sometimes. It's just a fact of life. But I don't think he meant to hurt you," she said. "There is no absolute guarantee, so yes, it's a risk to trust him again. But will you feel better if he walks out of your life forever because you wouldn't give him another chance?" She challenged.

"I don't know. I honestly don't know," I said.

We talked until her kids woke up. It was a fun distraction to play with them until Izzy asked, "Where's Woo-wee?"

Carly jumped in and said, "He's at home. We'll see him another day, okay?"

I had dinner with Carly and the kids, and then I helped her with their baths and bedtime. She offered to let me sleep on her couch, which I did. I wasn't up to going back home just yet.

In the morning, however, I regretted it. My back was killing me, and Mimi and Izzy were awake by 6:00 AM, and they made sure I was awake, too.

I had a cup of coffee with Carly before I went home. She told me more about her husband and the obvious signs that were there, the ones she refused to see because she had loved him so much. She said that in the end, she was relieved that he left, but it was hard while she was going through it. I found myself hoping that Carly would eventually find a good man.

I knew in my gut that Louis was different, so amazingly good and kind and upstanding. Or at least that's what I used to think about him. How I could I trust someone who was capable of something so despicable?

Even though I didn't love Richard, I had trusted him for far too long as well. He'd been lying to me for years and I was completely oblivious the whole time. What if I was just too trusting and Louis had glaring shortcomings that I just couldn't see because I was so infatuated with him?

I walked home slowly, not knowing what to do next. I felt like I was just a shell of a person and that all the life in me had been sucked away. I was now just a robot on automatic pilot.

When I let myself into the house, Louis was sitting at the dining room table, with his laptop open in front of him.

I went to the kitchen and grabbed some yogurt, eating it all while I stood next to the counter.

When I walked back through, Louis asked, "Do you want me out?"

I stopped and sighed painfully. "I don't know what I want, Lou...Louis," I said, correcting myself. I didn't want to call him Lou.

"I'm looking for apartments," he said.

I nodded and walked away before he could see that I was crying again.

What was I going to do?