Falling for you is like
Drinking Lava,
Letting myself burn with Pain.
Your hot & cold affection,
Your games-
Showing romantic affection,
Detaching, Coming back, showing affection once more,
Telling me words that are empty as a drum,
Your words are nothing but a lie.
Manipulation is a game you play well,
I can no longer differentiate what is genuine
About you anymore.
You are a lie.

Everything about you is a lie.
Am in a karmic bond with you?
Is it fated, are you meant for me or is it mere coincidence.
Your self-proclaimed psychic self,
You know I'm responsive to energies of all kinds,
Especially spiritual,
I feel & understand it.
The way you are emotionally, energetically,
Behaviour wise,
Your true colors, your motives coming out,
Further sinks my heart in misery.

I'm sick of you,
I'm done loving you,
I can't love you anymore.
Constantly walking on glass shards that make my feet bleed,
Tainting the floors red is not my Fantasy,
It's nowhere close to my vision of happiness.
All you do is inflict pain worst than sadism,
Your affection is hot & cold,
Flows in & out.
You're not a river,
Quit trying to Drown me!
I don't know swimming,
Yet I'm not going to continue sinking in
What you call affection,
You can have it all to yourself as 'self-love'.

I no longer want your affection,
Even fake flowers contain more warmth in them
Than you.
You broke My heart despite knowing it takes me
A lot of courage to trust.
You know of my past, of my trauma,
Of the pain I've endured.
Still you decided to play with my affection,
Knowing it doesn't come easy.

You told me you love me,
Yet your actions, your behaviour show you're detached.
One moment, you shower me with affection,
As though you're struck by Cupid's arrow.
Next moment, your affection pierces my heart as a cold
Shard of ice,
Freezing my mind, Making my heart weep.

Weep with tears
My soul won't tell yours.
Weep with Hurt.
All this makes me feel like
The Eight Of Swords.

Eight Of Swords,
A Tarot Card.
A woman blinded by cloth
Covering her eyes, binding her body.
Swords downside on the ground,
She's trapped in her own thoughts, her perception unclear.
That is exactly how you make me feel when you're
Hot & Cold.

Our entire relationship is The Tower:
A Tarot card full of ill luck and disaster,
All because of you.
We started off as Lovers,
Now it's the Devil Card ~
Lovers chained by Lucifer, controlling them.
You've made it toxic.
All I wanted was The Lovers, The Empress & The Sun,
In Tarot Language.
All you brought is The Tower,
Death  &
Upside down Wheel of Fortune,
Such a cursed way of loving someone.
Your true motives unveiled themselves
From behind the curtains,
Discolouring the ground.

Think Of this as an Adieu,
I'm cutting the chords -
Begone you,
Banishing demons, banishing you,
Energetically & physically.
I'll take the gifts,
Jupiter gets me.
But you're an unpleasant present,
I no longer want.
You're nothing but 8 Of Swords.
What I seek is The Sun.
It's time for me to shut the door,
Lock & throw away the keys.
It's time to start a new chapter, without you.
Sail ahead, float on seawater.
Soar with the birds to a new tomorrow,
Goodbye.

-Ridhima Joshi