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Lauren and I walking through the mall. When we come across a store with baby accessories. She looks at me. "Can we go in there? I want to get something for the baby."

I shake my head. "Lauren, I don't want you to waste money in case the baby is a boy. It's still too early to find out the gender."

Lauren ignores me and she pulls me into the shop. "I will buy something anyway. If it's a boy I will buy something for him later." She crosses her arms. "I've been hoping that you have a girl." We enter the store and look around.

I see a cute pair of baby socks in pink and blue. I put both pairs into a basket. I move through the store and pick up things in blue and pinks. I place them in the basket.

As I approach the desk my phone starts to ring. I turn to Lauren. "Can you wait a minute? I need to answer my phone."

She nods.

I walk over to the other side of the store. I pull my phone out of my bag and see 'Jensen' flash across the screen.

I smile as I answer the phone.

Me: Hello, this is Joy.

Jensen: Hey, baby. I'm coming home. I just finished with the last meeting and everything is back on track. I can't wait to hold you in my arms tomorrow.

Me: You owe me a drink when you get home. Also, you promised to pick me up at the bar.

He laughs.

Jensen: How can I forget what my girl wants me to do? I'm looking forward to our date at the bar.

Me: So, am I. What time will you be here?

Jensen: Give me a second. I'll have a look. He goes quiet for a bit. I hear some papers being moved around. I will be getting to LA at 10.30am.

Me: What flight are you catching?

Jensen: American Airlines Flight 3443

Me: Thank you. I go quiet for a minute. Where are you going now?

Jensen: I'm close to Sydney International Airport now. What are you up to?

Me: Lauren and I are shopping.

Jensen: For baby things or is it for the two of you.

I look around the store and smile. Me: It's for the baby.

Jensen: I hope you don't go over the top with shopping for the baby. You don't know what we're having.

Me: All the things I buy can be used for the next one.

Jensen goes quiet.

What if he doesn't want to have more kids?

I sigh.

He clears his throat.

Jensen: I wasn't expecting to hear you say that you want more kids with me. How many do you want, Joy?

Me: Four, two girls and two boys.

Jensen laughs.

Jensen: Look like we'll have a busy couple of years. I hope you're looking forward to cleaning shitty diapers and vomit from our clothes.

I roll my eyes.

Me: If you intend for me to do all that on my own your mistaken Mister. I'll just leave your clothes with vomit on it.

He laughs.

Jensen: I'm not that mean to leave everything up to my beautiful, girl. He sighs. I got a phone call from the Lawyer the other day. We're divorced now.

That's great.

Me: Thanks for letting me know.

Jensen: I'm nearly at the airport. I'll have to go soon.

Me: Okay! Have a safe flight.

Jensen: I will. Love you, Joy Hamilton.

Me: Love you too, Jensen McKellar.

I hang up the phone and walk over to my sister. She places the stuff onto the counter. The lady behind the till looks at me and smiles. "How are you today?"

I smile. "I'm good. You?"

"I'm good. So, has the rain stopped yet?"

Lauren looks out the window. "No, it's still raining." Then she mumbles. "All you have to do is look out the window."

I hit her arm. "Stop." I mouth.

She shrugs.

The lady tells me the price of everything I purchased. I give her the money and I walk out the door. I turn to Lauren. "Do you still want to look around?"

She nods.

Lauren and I walk in and out of a few stores. Then we stop in front of a dress shop and I see a red dress that I like. I enter the shop and pull the dress off the rack. I turn to Lauren. "I'm going to try this on." I walk towards the change room and I put the dress on. I exit the room and look in the mirror.

Lauren whistles. "Are you going to wear this on your date tomorrow?"

I nod.

"Great choice." she looks in the mirror at me. "Turn around I want to see the whole dress."

I turn around for her. "What do you think?"

Lauren hugs me. "You look like Mum." She has tears in her eyes. A tear falls down her face and she wipes it away. "She would have been proud of you."

I put my hand to the back of head. I kiss her head, "Mum, would be proud of you too, Lauren. It's a shame she won't be here to see you grow up into the woman that she knew you could be."

She laughs. "I'm not a woman yet. I'm ten, Joy."

I shake my head. "Sometimes, I forget how old you are." I let go of her. "I need to change back into my clothes." I walk into the change room and get dressed. I exit the change room and I take the dress to the counter. I pay for it and exit the store.

Lauren and I walk to the food court and we get something to eat.

***

At 7pm, we enter the presidential suite. Lauren walks to her room with three bags full of clothes and a couple things for the baby that she didn't want me to see.

I walk into my room and put away everything that I brought. I sit on my bed and pull my phone out. I see a message from Jensen's sister. I open the message.

Cindy: I'm coming to the Hotel. I need to talk to you. I will be there in twenty.

I look at the time she sent and the time now. It's been twenty minutes since she sent the message.

Lauren walks into the room. "Have you heard the news?"

I shake my head.

She pulls me out of my bedroom.

Just then someone knocks on the door. I walk over to the door and I see Cindy.

Cindy enters the room. She sniffles. "Have you seen the news yet?"

"No, that's what Lauren wants me to see." I turn the television on and I see a plane on the ground.

The reporters says. "Breaking News Flight number 3443 from Sydney Australia has been hit by lightning. We don't know if there's any survivors yet."

I block out the rest of the report. I move over to the lounge and place my hand on my stomach. I begin to cry for my baby and most importantly the loss of the only man that I will ever love.

***

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