"I see you're learning like a good kid."

I looked down on the tab on my lap, reading the story he left. It was actually rather sickening with so much colors, pictures, and very few letters written on it, but it was bearable, since every character of this book showed me something interesting, even with a highlighted letters for me.

"Not really."

How strange. I remember laughed that time. At least, it sounds like someone's laugh. But now, I couldn't even pulled the corner of my lips.

"Interesting on that?" He sat beside my bed.

Not really, except for the expression I learnt from this single electronic book. "Do you have something?"

"Not really."

"Then, I can request your immediate leaving."

Mika clicked his tongue. "Insensitive creature." He leaned forward, one hand under his chin. "So, you want to talk about something."

He didn't right, but didn't completely wrong either.

"Latifah." When that name came out of my mouth, he tensed. His smile gone. "She was the one you called 'friend'. And you seemed to know her a lot." And I heard you called her Princess.

Mika smiled sourly at me. "You sure knew that she is the daughter of current president of Hadriah, right?"

I knew that. I remembered it the moment General Ares injected that serum to me.

"But little knew, we were childhood friend." He looked down, as if there was something on the white floor below that interested him. "For as long as I knew, that girl was just like that: a girl that think they can do all things on their own."

I turned off the tab and saw my own grim expression on the black glass of it. The image of Reana appeared in my mind. So, they were truly alike after all.

"You were the first Maha I knew could shed tears upon someone's death ... unlike our other patients that had the same case like you." He snickered. "Geez, we tried so hard to bring you lot back to normal, but here I am, hoping you stayed for—

"That's why you gave me this thing." I concluded, lifting the tab. "So I could ... show emotions on my face?"

"You've got some new brain cells, I see." Mika curved a slight smile on his face. "Showed them was one thing, but feeling them was entirely another level. Especially towards someone special, like friend."

Upon hearing that word once again, an intense pain struck my chest.

"But with you...." Mika continued. "Rather than feel the real thing, seeing you really understand emotions was more interesting. My mind feel like going to blow up if you told me you understand what I feel."

I didn't know that, not for more than twenty percent probabilities. Emotions were too abstract to be counted with numbers. The error and the margin were also indefinite. An image of a young woman who tended to act carelessly and never put herself first. The plague, the tide of war, nothing seemed help me to be at ease.

"Mika?" The guy turned at me. "Do you know Reana Melista?"

This time, instead of answer, what I got from Mika was a furrowing brows and suspicious look. Then, for more than two seconds, he sealed his mouth. But then he sighed.

"I knew."

"Latifah's friend?"

"I can't answer that." Mika shrugged. "That wasn't my stories to tell."

That means they were really close.

"I heard she called Latifah pretty often." I told him.

"Prrtty dumb, huh? She know she will be ignorrd and still...." Mika laughed. "She knew that girl would decide the most stupid decision as you've witnessed, yet she kept trying. Reana was a block-head to the bone." He looked at me. "She should be back to Equatorial this week, but if I were her, I'd rather stay in Yemen. Alliances are turning their eyes to Equatorial and Medusa infection increased daily in Jakarta."

Equatorial, that name only connecting me with Rudy Sagara, the man that I supposed to kill after claimed Yemen. A delayed mission that I had to catch up as soon as possible.

"Will you participate in attacking them?" Mika asked. "Even in here, Rudy Sagara had already in unwanted announcement."

Suddenly, erratic trails of emotions that didn't give me a space to even breathe, appeared.

My rational mind told me to execute the mission immediately, but the unpleasant thought of reuniting with Reana as an enemy that would destroy her place, sent another pain to my head.

"Doesn't feel like talking, huh?" This time, Mika curved a smile that made me disgusted. "But I have to remind myself to put high bars on you. After all, you talked a lot with that guy, a monster that won't lift a finger even a legion of him died in vain. There is only one reason in my as of why would he even ordered us to retrieve something from Union's hidden lab in Al-Tahsim."

I looked at the serum again. And Mika looked at Lohengrin. "Must be the only one of their kind."

"Indeed." Mika sneered like a fox. Knowing exatcly the situation.

No need to hide it, anyway. General Ares had shown up. And he promised to bring someone to watch over me until I landed on my next mission.

"You're lucky." Mika turned to the drawer. "If only you hadn't cried that time, I'll kill you, right here, right now, for invading our country and claimed it as your own."

"Killing me will not change many things."

"Nope." Mika admitted. "But might be, that small thing would save my other friend. She was as dumb as Latifah, anyway."

No need to tell me further who she was. "She had so many friends."

"Why not?" He chuckled. "After she returned, the world would know. Rudy Sagara hide her pretty well up until now."

At the beginning, that was just a simple guess. Latifah was not a friend everyone could get anytime. But I had no proof. "What do you mean?"

At that question, Mika smiled. "Don't you know?" he said. "Reana Melista is the legitimate heir of Rudy Sagara, President of Equatorial."

***

This uniform never felt so uncomfortable before.

I looked at my reflection on the mirror. A boring man with black intimidating uniform and three stars on his shoulder stood in front of his own reflection. I've never felt so disturbed on seeing my own face, looking into my own emerald eyes like this before. It shaped artificially on the lab, based on what human's ancestor when they built Mars civilizations, and completed by the lab as a perfect species. Destined to be more superior to their ancestor.

Yet, this supposed to be perfect being, was saved many times by humans.

"I've got more interesting fact on your so-called friend, Omar." The voice of Mika resurfaced. "His family was dead, entirely, when Alliance bombarded England, five years ago. He was one of the few survivor of his village, but he was reported missing after he saved a Maha."

I placed my hand on the chest, felt it heavy beating. Something burdened me, only because of the fact that I heard such a common story.

"Such a stupid story happened everywhere in the middle of a war, don't you think so?"

It was a stupid story, indeed. Why would Omar save me? What was he thinking when he found out that I was no different than the murderer of his family?

I looked down at the bag and Lohengrin on my waist. The previous serum returned half of my memories and my power. But this personality still remained. What would happen if I took the rest of the serum? I would be in full power, indeed, but what would happened after? Would I stop asking question? Stop feeling this emotions and once again, moved solely by mission and logic?

That seemed to be the best solution, even now. But not being able to smile, or understand their feelings, that shaken me. A knock coming from my door.

"Come in."

Latifah appeared. The girl scanned me, from head to toes. "You look nice."

"Thank you." I nodded at her. Then silence.

What am I supposed to say at a time like this?

"Again, you made that face." When I heard her laugh, I couldn't helped but straightened up my face, seeing her truly smile for the first time. "You're the weirdest Maha—I mean Martian—that I've ever met."

I didn't think I supposed to thank her for that.

She walked closer, but let the door opened. "Take care. Don't ever hesitate to call me if you ever need help, promise?"

That very moment, I understand fully why she resembled and often reminded me of Reana. Just like what Mika said, a reckless, selfless girl, that always put others first.

"You know without assigned agreement, promise means nothing for us." I reminded her. "Especially if that was said by someone as selfless as you."

Latifah gave me a weird smile. His eyes and lips are incoherent: her lips curved into a smile, but her eyes were sad.

"I see you've talked with Mika, but...." When I looked at her, intrigued, she only smiled. "It's not a strange thing for a woman to chase after her own love, right?"

"Lo-ve....?" Spelling that word was more difficult than I ever thought. "You—him?"

She chuckled. "I'm not that naïve girl that only chases after some petty things like emotional connection." Latifah touched the rings around her finger. This time, I could see glitters of affection brightening her eyes. "I trust him and that's enough. I believe he will be a ray of hope for this country."

Hope. Hadriah was infamous for that name. A country without hope. From the Old Age, Hadriah was blood bathed by unstoppable civil war. Up to the Neo Age, blood still split Hadriah apart with their different perspectives about this everything and their leader that didn't handle anything well.

"Hope is such a foolish things. Especially when you do it for someone else. What is the point of having one, when everyone else would snatched and trampled it easily?" My fists clenched. Rage and unknown emotions filled every hole existed in me "Why would you becoming hope for everyone?"

Latifah, to my question, she strangely seemed content. That girl didn't even taken aback when I lashed out at her. Instead, she looked at me right in the eyes and walked closer. She touched my tie, placed it on right position.

"I know that your kind never considered anything but children in marriage." She told. "I knew I was gambling to the lowest odd and I probably, would end up as nothing but a loser who loses everything. Maybe nothing would change...."

She patted my epaulet. "But that's why ... it called hope. That is why everyone who make that hope into reality was called a hero."

She wanted to be a hero? A hope? By sacrificing all she had?

"You talked about everyone else's hope. Not yourself." I refused, but I couldn't bring my hand to raise against her. "You could be everyone's hope, but do you have hope for yourself?"

At that question, Latifah remained still.

"Hope is surreal that even if it was hope for one's sake, it was despair for someone else." I grasped her wrist. "What's the point of giving everyone else's hope when you can't become hope for yourself?"

Latifah blinked at me, then she chuckled. "Giving everyone hope? No exception? Wow ... that would be wonderful" She patted my other shoulder. "If that happens, you could be a true hero."

"It's not a joke, Latifah." I looked at her in the eye. "Come with me. I will take you to Reana. She is worrying you."

The smile on Latifah faded. "Of course, she is."

Latifah released herself from my grip. When I was about to open my mouth once again, Latifah raised her hand. Stopped me. She took a step back.

"Time to go." She stretched out her hand. "It's a good bye, Nathaniel, Sir. Nice to be your acquaintance."

I didn't shake her hand. I didn't want to. Latifah pulled back her hand.

"You couldn't get away until your death."

"I know."

"It would be a painful death."

"Yes."

"You could lose your sanity."

"To my last sanity it is."

"Didn't you hear yourself?" I snapped. "Don't you want to bear children with someone you truly consider? Don't you want to smile for yourself?"

My blabber stopped when she took my hand, and squeezed it softly. She looked up at my eyes and smiled so brightly. I felt something in my palm, but the way Latifah looked at me, enthralled me more than anything.

"I will not let that happen, Nathaniel." She said, determined. Then one of her hand touched her own belly. "If someday I'd bear a child, I will love them as much as I can, even if death approach me ... even if I have to loss my sanity." She sighed. "Only ... If there is something ... I wish someone as kind as you would kill me if worst come to worst ... before I hurt anyone ... especially ... my children."

I didn't get it that time. All I knew was emotions filled her. Only few years later, I'd recognize, those were sadness, hope, and despair, filled her eyes as she talked. My fists clenched. There was nothing I can do to change her.

"That's nonsense."

"Maybe. But I met you and saw you cried. That was more nonsense than the promise I just gave." She grabbed with both of her hands. "That's also why I believe in you."

Latifah gave me her final smile. "Mika said he was sorry too." She said. "Until we meet again, Soldier."

She talked like there would be another chance, but we both know, this was our last.

Even so, this woman was never wavered. She was unstoppable and full of determination. And that was more reason for me to do something to her friend.

"I will protect Reana." I vowed to her. "That's a promise."

***