A comfortable silence had sat beside the newly married duo for the most part of the day, but Aditya had already had his fair share of quiet during his time alone, now if it lasted even a minute longer it would verge on torture. He loathed the times where no noise could be heard around him because that was when everything within became louder. “I seem to have lost my number, may I have yours?”

Flinching at the sudden disturbance, she gazed over her book with a strange expression, then looked around the room slowly. Pointing to herself, Zoya raised a brow “Me?”

His lips curled “Well there’s no one else here”.

Her eyes surveyed the room as if checking he was being honest before she placed the book down. “Uh, I don’t have a phone, I thought, I thought you knew that” if she was honest, she didn’t really understand what was going on here, the question was odd and so was his behaviour.

He did know that, and that was the problem. The pickup line he’d used wasn’t one that would work, so the next one had to be better. Biting down on his knuckle as he thought through a few he knew, his eyebrows merged. When he was younger, he’d learnt the hard way that to grab a woman’s attention it was best to be funny, so he’d memorised the corniest phrases known to man and used them whenever the situation allowed. If it wasn’t already crystal clear, his goal was to make her laugh again and if that meant some inadvertent flirting, then so be it! Inwardly praising himself at the idea, he crossed his right leg over his left knee “Are you religious? Because-“.

“No” she cut him off, “I lost any faith I had a long time ago”. She appreciated his effort at trying to get to know her even though his technique of doing so seemed weird, people rarely bothered to ask her anything, so she supposed she didn’t exactly have the right to question the way he did.

Huffing at another failed attempt, he muttered under his breath: “Because you’re the answer to all my prayers”.

Her head shot up “Sorry?”

“Nothing” Aditya groaned, his cheek pushed up by his palm as he rested his face on it to keep some semblance of balance in the absolute mess he was creating. This really wasn’t going the way he’d wanted it to, was it because she really didn’t understand or because she didn’t want to understand? Whatever the reason, he wasn’t going to give up just yet. Moving to sit beside her on the sofa, he rested his back on the arm of the chair “The voices in my head told me to come and say hi” he winked dramatically.

Sliding away from him, she pulled her knees to her chest “You, you have a mental illness?” Not that she would ever judge him for it, it was just the first time she’d heard of his struggles, she wished she would have been informed earlier, that way she could try and support him because at that moment she had no idea how to even begin.

His head shook vehemently “No, no I don’t, I“ huffing and puffing loudly at the misunderstanding, he eyed her desperately, hoping she would somehow work out what he actually meant just by looking in his eyes.

“Then why did you- “.

Taking a calming breath, he reached for her hand “What I’m trying to say is, I hope you know CPR because you take my breath away”.

Jumping up from her seat, she stood over him, her eyes murky with concern “I don’t, I don’t, shall I call an ambulance? Are you okay? Shall I get some water?” Her hand was an inch from the telephone when he pulled her back onto the sofa and threw himself on her lap.

Throwing his arms up, he collapsed his head into his hands “I give up” he pouted. “Just read to me, Zoya, I’ll go mad otherwise”. He had no intention to blame her for her oblivious innocence, it was different to anything he’d ever seen before and that made things a lot more interesting, but it also made things a lot more difficult.

“Uh, sure” Zoya picked the book back up and turned to the first page. She’d tried very hard not to show just how frightened she was when he’d grabbed her arm, but the fear had consumed her, leaving her voice robotic and her bones sharp beneath her skin. Following orders had never been an issue before, but the speed of his everchanging mind had made her feel uneasy, she wasn’t sure how to make him happy and that scared her a lot. The opposite of happiness had nearly killed her before, death wasn’t her worry, dying was, she knew what that was like and wouldn’t wish it on anybody, especially not herself, she was far too weak now, no longer had the strength to go through it again and Aditya was partly to blame for that, his sweet behaviour had caught her off guard and lessened the dread that kept her alive, she was used to living on the edge, it was how she survived, the further he dragged her away from it the more unexpected his attack would be. The bitter truth was scared people fought, surprised people did not.

Pushing the book lower down with his index finger, he grinned up at her now more visible face “Now you can begin” he hoped she wouldn’t mind him looking up at her. While listening to her voice sing to him like no songs ever could, he wanted to see something angelic, and what better to look at than his soft-spoken wife?

“I look at her as I look at the sun, blinking through the haze of her far too bright smile and shading my eyes from the scorching heat of her soul, I spent far too long guarding myself from one of the brightest lights the world had ever seen, far too long protecting myself from the burning embers of what she left behind that I forgot that she’d set herself alight just to burn bright on my darkest days” wetting her lips, she flicked the page. At the sound of sniffling, she held the open book to her chest and looked down “Aditya?”

Fluttering his eyes to rid the tears, he laughed at himself “That was heart-wrenching, often we humans focus so much on our own difficulties that we completely ignore other’s hardships, especially those hardships that keep us afloat while we yearn to sink”. Turning to face her, Aditya fingered the spine of the tattered book “It means a lot to you, right? It’s clear that you’ve read it a numerous amount of times, left it open on a page over the years just so you could continue the passage you were on?”

She nodded, taken back by how he’d noticed something about her when no one ever spared her a second glance.

“That’s what I’m like with arguments, I place it down and intend to return to the situation at a later date when I’m more reasonable, more breathable to be around, if a relationship means a lot to you then treat it like your favourite book, hold it close, keep it near, but place it down on occasion so the wind can surf across the fingerprints you left behind, we all leave a mark, but we all get to decide if that mark is good or bad, black or white” he flapped his hand. “Didn’t mean to get all philosophical, sorry”.

“Don’t be” her voice was timid, “The way you look at life makes me wish to see it through your eyes” he made the world sound ethereal, she despised herself for hoping that just once he’d look at her like that so she too could find beauty where she’d always found blood.

“Don’t you mean you have nothing to be sorry for?” The twinkle in his eyes shone like the desk lamp beside them, lighting up her face as he gazed up at her. “You’ve got to keep saying it, it’s our thing”.

“Our thing?” She echoed.

“Yeah, all people in relationships have a thing they both do together, a song that symbolises a special moment and a place that they call theirs, did you not have those things with your husband before?” Yes, it was unfair to ask her about her past in a roundabout way, but the likelihood of her answering direct questions was slim, usually, he’d mind his own business, but this felt like one of those situations where he couldn’t help if he didn’t know.

“We shared nothing, but um he gave me things” she didn’t bother to elaborate on what those things were, afterall what was the point of explaining it was nightmares, scars, cuts and bruises? Finally looking down at him, she noticed he’d fallen asleep, straying her hand through the luscious locks of soot, she sighed peacefully.

Opening one eye slyly, he turned to face the other way, pulling her hand around with him as he did so. “You can use your other hand to do what you were just doing” he peered up at her, a smirk playing on his lips.

She gasped “I thought you were asleep, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have touched you without your permission” guilt rambled through her veins with each word she spoke.

“You have my permission now and always”, one day he hoped she’d give hers too.

Zoya clenched her fist at the abruptness of his statement, part of her wanted to be joyful at what he’d gave her, but what was given could always be taken away and she didn’t think she’d cope with another loss, especially not one in the form of a man with a boy’s heart who resides in the coldest place but yet had the warmest heart.

The second she began to read once more while scratching her nails across his scalp he swore he was in heaven. Aditya wanted to look after Zoya more than anything, but deep down what he also wanted was for her to take care of him, for the first time in his life did he finally have someone who’d worry if he got home late, all he hoped was that she’d continue to worry for him as he knew he’d always worry for her.

Want a hint for the next chapter? Here’s the clue, work it out if you can:

Two words starting with P

First word has 6 letters.

Second word has 5.

P_ _ _ _ _ P_ _ _ _