That weekend Kathy invited Clare and Alan to a Saturday evening meal so that they could meet Frank Middleton. Alan and Clare were surprised to find that they already knew Frank, as he had been a lay preacher in their old Methodist church years ago. They instantly liked him and they had a good time talking about the 'old' days when they were young and they left feeling very pleased that he and Kathy had found one another. They seemed very happy together.

* * * * * * * * *

It was a rare kind of October day, sunny and warm; the air completely still. The yellowish glow of Autumn was beginning to show itself in the leaves on the trees. Clare packed a picnic and Alan drove them to the Common, where he parked the car just off of the road, on the grass. They carried the picnic basket between them as they strolled up the hill and Clare carried a bag. The view from the top was breath-taking and well worth the walk uphill, even for Alan.

Clare took a blue and red chequered rug from the bag and spread it on the grass. Then she stood up and looked at the view. Miles and miles of countryside spread before them like a green oasis and the sky above was the bluest blue, dotted with white fluffy clouds.

"Isn't it lovely to get away from the city?" she said.

Alan came and stood beside her, draping his arm around her shoulder.

"As long as I'm with you, I don't care where I am."

"And you said you couldn't 'do' romantic." she smiled.

Alan sat down on the rug and Clare sat beside him. Both of them hugging their knees.

"I have a few confessions to make." said Alan.

"As long as you don't say you're a Casanova and have slept with a thousand women, I think I can cope." said Clare, nudging his knee with hers.

Alan sighed.

"It's not that bad is it?" Clare asked.

"Yes, it is. I'm not sure where to start, but you need to know."

"Is it anything to do with Marie?" asked Clare.

"Yes."

"Start there then."

Clare looked at Alan and could tell he was struggling. He looked straight ahead and avoided her eyes.

"I lied about my honeymoon. I couldn't bear to tell anyone the truth. I didn't have a good honeymoon. It was the worst honeymoon anyone could imagine! It was a long flight to the Bahamas and I got a migraine. It was the worst I've ever had, I could have beat my head against the wall and it wouldn't have made any difference! I had terrible tinnitus ringing in my ears and I was so sick I had to call a doctor. Marie disappeared for two days and I hardly saw her." Alan glanced at Clare, briefly, gauging her reaction she supposed and then looked away.

"I imagine she was flirting and drinking with some of the men in the hotel. When I questioned her, she just shrugged her shoulders. She only cared about herself and didn't even ask me how I was feeling. We had three days as a proper honeymoon, but couldn't go anywhere as there was a heavy thunder storm. Then there was an incident at the hotel, which included firearms and her father advised us to come home. So all in all, it was a disaster."

Clare opened her mouth to speak, but Alan stopped her.

"I did love her, I did, but as time went on I could tell it was all one sided. It's not easy to have a relationship with someone so totally selfish." Alan paused. Clare said nothing, but it hurt her deeply to think that Alan had put himself in that position.

"It was all my fault. When I met Marie I slept with her the first night and that is something I thought I would never do, or have ever wanted to do, but she was so..." Alan paused, and again glanced at Clare, who could feel a frown pressing into her forehead, but still she said nothing. "Marie wasn't my first. I had a girlfriend in Canada, called Jenny. We were together for a year or so, but then it fizzled out. It was a mutual ending.  I was about nineteen when we met..."

"I don't know what you want me to say." said Clare.

Alan looked at Clare and he seemed so sad, it made her feel sad too.

"I wish you had been my first." he said.

Clare didn't speak immediately, she was still not sure what to say, but she knew she could forgive him anything.

"It's not my place to judge and whatever happened in the past, we make a new start together, you and me. That's all that matters." she said, stroking his hand. Alan put his arms around her shoulders and rubbed her nose with his.

"You always know the right thing to say, don't you?" he said. "I think that's one of the reasons I love you so much."

"And I love you. Very much." Clare replied, cuddling into his neck.

"Now it's my turn for a confession." said Clare.  "I felt very hurt when you went to Canada. Mum was worried about me for a while." She stopped talking, as she re-lived the pain in her mind. "I was ill, actually, it took some time to get over."

"I'm so sorry." Alan said.

Clare shrugged. "It wasn't your fault. Anyway, may be we needed to grow up apart. It may not have worked for us when we were young."

"We'll never know now, will we?" Alan replied.

"Nothing was the same with you gone," Clare sighed, "and I was so angry with your parents that I held it against them for ages. Can you remember my passion for ballet? Your mum bought me three gorgeous china ballerinas. I treasured them. Guess what I did? When I found out you were emigrating to Canada I threw them angrily at the wall, one by one, and they all shattered. It was so bad of me, I bitterly regretted it later. I've never found anything like them since, although I keep on looking."

"We all do things that we regret. We just have to learn by our mistakes." said Alan. "Mum loved you. She was always talking about you. She would have been so pleased that we're engaged, it would have made her so happy!"

As it was lunchtime, Clare opened the basket and handed Alan a plate and they began to devour the goodies she had supplied. She had made them ham rolls, cheese and pickle sandwiches, with a variety of crisps, bottles of soft drinks and chocolate mousse for dessert. As they ate, Clare dropped a large dollop of chocolate mousse on her jeans. Alan laughed, as she wiped it away with a wet wipe. It left a large, dirty mark.

"I knew, you'd do that." he said.

Clare smiled. "And I try so hard not to."

"Not hard enough." Alan replied, smiling back at her.

Fifteen minutes later, found them lying on the rug on their backs, looking up at the sky. Alan reached across and touched Clare's stomach, which in reality was a small hollow between her hips.

"No, please don't." she said, pushing him away. "I told you how I feel."

"No, not that," said Alan, "I was just thinking, in the not too distant future there might be a little Harding nestled in there all safe and warm. I like the thought of it."

Again, he touched her stomach and drew circles with his fingers.  He smiled at her, his beautiful smile, dimples included and her heart fluttered.

"I'd love a son, just like Toby." said Alan.

"It's a beautiful thought, but I don't think..."

"No, no, don't say anything negative, not today." said Alan. "I don't want to hear it. We will have children, two boys and a girl. That's what I want. We'll call them... wait for it... Donald, Duncan and Agatha." Alan laughed heartily. "I really hate those names." That started them off and they laughed for the rest of the picnic.

A family came with two children, carrying kites. However, there was no wind and the kites wouldn't fly, so they turned their attention to frisbees and had a lovely game, catching and throwing. A small dog was with them and he had a fine time running around on the grass, barking occasionally.

"That will be us one day." said Alan, thoughtfully. "Minus the dog, of course."

"I do hope so." Clare replied. "Minus the dog."

                                                               * * * * * *