I looked at my class schedule.

I immediately groaned, and not just because the chair I was sitting on was slowly killing my back.

...

Monday

World Villain's History

Basic Criminal Theory

Manipulation Techniques I

...

"What's wrong?" Dead Water asked.

"These subjects...I thought they were supposed to be like, us doing actual villain stuff! Not just theory! If I wanted to deal with textbooks and words, I'd just go back to my regular high school..."

"Hmm, well I guess it does make sense," she said. "We're only beginners after all. We need to develop our theory first before doing actual field work."

"Nyeeeh..." I growled, folding my arms in disappointment.

"It's just like Superbia in that way. I guess this school follows some of the same rules."

Ugh, I didn't even want to hear that boring school being mentioned! Just the thought of it infuriates me to no end.

"Once we go further with our studies, we'll get access to more advanced subjects. Like if you were a mad scientist, you'd have access to a science subject of your own choice, and even get your own lab."

"Ohhh that's so cool! I definitely want my own evil lair. Think of how glorious it would be!" I murmured, once again returning to the vast realm of my own imagination.

"I...doubt that they have the budget for that."

"Who cares about that? We're villains, we literally steal money!"

As I was talking however, Dead Water took a sip of her coffee, and immediately spat it out in disgust.

"What the- What is in this?!" she gasped, throwing the cursed container into the trash.

"Hey now, no wasting food!"

As we heard the voice of the cafeteria lady, we tried our best not to turn around and look at her directly. Now, I should stress that most cafeteria ladies I've met throughout my life were lovely people, despite the media always portraying them as mean and scary.

But this one...well, I'm sure she was also a nice person. The problem was that she was a literal zombie.

"S-Sorry ma'am..." Dead Water muttered.

"You teens better be grateful you're even getting this grub, cause if you're not, I'll be finishing all your unfinished business! And trust me, no god will want you when I'm done with ya!"

"S-Sorry ma'am..." I also muttered.

The lack of chills in the air told us that she was gone, which allowed us to breathe sighs of relief.

Dead Water looked distraught, as if she was completely regretting her life choices. She then proceeded to put her head down on the table in shame.

"I can't survive without my morning coffee...this is going to be the worst year of my life..."

I didn't know how I was supposed to console her, so I got out of my chair and patted her um, tentacles on her head.

"There there..." I reassured, though I wasn't sure if this was helping or not.

"Thank you..." she uttered, sounding completely defeated.

Once she got back up, she had a good look around the cafeteria we were in. There were cobwebs and what were surely poisonous spiders in the corners. The only colour that could be found, aside from the prison grey floors and walls, was on the green patches of mould that were scattered across the room. The tables were wobbly, the chairs were uncomfortable, and the food was mediocre at best.

"I know that this place has a low budget, but...I didn't think it was this bad."

Hmm, I liked the aesthetic at first...but now, not so much, I thought to myself, not wanting to admit it out loud.

Tempura, who was at the table next to us along with Harmour and Snake Eyes, decided to weigh into the conversation.

"I uh, have an older sister who's at Luxuria University. Such bad times they were, when she was with us," he grumbled under his breath, clearly not having any fond memories of her.

"Will you ever say anything that doesn't include time somehow?" I asked curiously.

"Of course not! I must stick to my identity at all times!"

"Wow...I gotta admit, I admire your commitment," I said, which made him...smile a bit?

"Anyway, as I was saying...due to Luxuria's low budget, the money this place receives goes exclusively to the advanced years and specialized classes. For our next two years of high school, we'll be stuck here I'm afraid..."

"As I don't have to worry about petty human issues like "hygiene" and "disease", I may outlast each and every one of you," Harmour bragged, which made Tempura groan in annoyance.

"I love thissss place," Snake Eyes commented with a smile as she ate her soup of unknown origin. "Remindssss me of my childhood..."

"I know what they're trying to do. They're trying to challenge us!" I yelled, punching the table. "They think that we'll crack under pressure!"

I then proceeded to stand on the table as I gave yet another of my wonderful speeches.

"But we won't succumb! As villains, it's our duty to persevere!"

Everyone was silent.

"Could you pleassse get down from there already..." Snake Eyes hissed.

I frowned a little as I removed myself from the table. I noticed that Dead Water was still having an existential crisis.

"Without my morning coffee, what's the point of anything anyway..."

Suddenly, we heard a screech from behind the counter once more.

"HEY, PIPE DOWN YOU WORTHLESS KIDS, OR YOU'LL BE MEETING YOUR DAMN ANCESTORS!"

"S-Sorry ma'am..." me, Dead Water, Snake Eyes and Tempura uttered in unison, trying not to look directly at the cafeteria lady. The only one who was unaffected was Harmour, who merely shrugged.

"I don't know why you're all so afraid of her, I find her quite delightful."

...

Class was finally over...the disappointment never seemed to end. It was only my first few lessons and I could already feel my soul leave my body.

"Uuuugh..." I groaned for the billionth time as I got out the key to my damaged and graffitied locker.

"I don't know why you're complaining, at least you got a nice nap," Dead Water teased.

"I can't believe the teachers were just random old guys in suits," I sighed. "Like seriously. Where is the imagination? The artistry?"

"Hmm, I agree. It is like they had no character at all. There are two teachers we have this year that may be more interesting though..."

"R-Really? Who are they?"

She merely winked at me.

"You'll find out."

"Awww, just tell me!"

"Not until you tell me how you managed to sleep with your eyes open."

"It is but one of my many talents!" I boasted with pride.

"Yeah, well, I can pass my notes this time, but I can't give them to you every day. Oh, that reminds me, we have Psychical Education tomorrow."

Oh great...my weakest subject, I thought to myself. And that's coming from someone who's already bad at everything.

Dead Water seemed to notice what I was thinking, so she gave me a slight reassuring smile.

"It won't be like that; it'll be for testing our powers and stuff. So, no worries!"

"Ah, I see..."

For a moment, I felt everything go quiet. There was a strange feeling in my chest...like it was tightening up somehow. I could not really understand what it was, but it felt familiar. I expected Dead Water to laugh at me or something...but for whatever reason, she looked concerned.

"Hey, are you ok? You don't look so good."

"Nah, you worry too much!" I replied. "I'm better than ok! What you are seeing is pure motivation!"

"You look a bit pale..." she said, getting a good look at me. "Are you sure you're ok? I can take you down to the nurse's office if you want..."

"There is no reason to fear!" I reassured her. "I, the great and powerful Thirteen, will not be bested by a mere stomach-ache!"

"Maybe it's the food. Honestly, I do not get why this place hasn't been closed down for health violations yet," she said with a sigh. "Maybe they really are trying to test us...I was planning on heading out for the afternoon, but I can stay with you if you need me."

S-Stay? With me? Why would she want to stay with me of all people?!

"Don't worry about it! You need to get out there and commit crimes, just like a villain should!"

"Ok, well...only if you're sure. I can take you with me next time if you'd like. I mean, I'm only going out for halfway decent food, but-"

"Really?! That would be- I mean, *ahem* I...guess that's...cool," I replied, trying to keep my cool and not look completely desperate.

She gave me a sad yet comforting smile as she made her departure.

"Looking forward to that."

With her gone, I was all alone in the empty halls. I also realized that the strange pain I was experiencing in my stomach had vanished completely.

Ugh, what even was that?!

I couldn't stop thinking about what happened as I stormed off, heading to my dorm room. All I wanted was to enjoy some fresh air, but I didn't even get clearance to leave the academy walls yet, for whatever reason. If I'm ever going to be the greatest supervillain of all time, I need to keep weird stuff like this under control!

Maybe I reacted that way thinking about the upcoming gym class...? Ah screw it. Who cares! It's easier just to not think at all.

Clearing my mind of all thought, I continued walking through the labyrinthian hallways. It was weird seeing them like this when your first introduction to them was running for your life.

It was then that I heard the voice of someone that was more dangerous than any mutated creature would ever be.

"Awww what's wrong? Is my fashion sense simply too radiant to handle?!" the crazed fashionista said with a cocky smirk as she threw dozens of scissors at rapid speeds.

"N-No, it's that you're throwing sssstuff at me!!" Snake Eyes hissed, trying to retaliate.

Yeeees, this was the perfect opportunity to create mischief! Not because I wanted to help her or anything...now I could finally achieve what I was destined to do: be a nuisance!

I hid behind the trash can and activated my powers, my vision directly focused on Fashion Craze. Now all I had to was wait.

"Ohohoho, no wonder you can turn people to stone, since you're so ugly!" she mocked.

Her tune changed however when the headmaster suddenly emerged from his room, looking annoyed. Everyone was dead silent.

"I was having the most glorious of cat naps, and I wake up to this...violence against a fellow student," he hissed.

I couldn't help but giggle, and Snake Eyes seemed to be pleased as well. This was hardly the type of poetic justice I wanted...but finally, she got what she deserved!

"Ugh, why don't you punish her for being such a nerd?!"

"T-That issss in no way a punisssshable offence!"

"Calm down you two...Fashion Craze, I should punish you. But teeechnically you didn't break any rules, so I won't. You get 10 points."

"B-But sssshe-"

"Now Snake Eyes. You weren't fighting back, and your comebacks were stale. Minus 10 points."

The snakes on her head falling drooping downwards, covering her face. She groaned as all she could do was walk away in shame, while Fashion Craze strutted as she usually did, mouthing to herself how great she was.

Dammit...these stupid powers aren't helping me at all!"

"Oh, and Thirteen...I can see you back there. Sneaking around actually is an offense. In my office, nyow."

Ugh...he is so adorable but I can't even focus on that right now!

I reluctantly stepped into his office.

...

His room actually looked pretty normal for a headmaster's office all things considered. The only thing that struck me as somewhat peculiar was the presence of a litterbox and a bowl of cat food lying around, along with the large monitor on the wall.

"Miles Way...you know why you're here, right?" he purred.

"Uh, no, not really."

The man with the bag on his head, whose lap Felix was sitting on, started stroking him. For some reason, it made me a bit uncomfortable.

"Come on, you can't be that dense. But I guess that's what you get for being the son of Adonis, huh..."

"Wait...you know about that? You know about my father?!" I gasped.

"Well duh! It's not every day we get the son of such a renowned hero to join our ranks. I must admit, I admire your bravery...though sometimes I wonder if it was pure stupidity."

"Hey, I may be stupid, but my idiocy is my own! It has nothing to do with my father!" I said with pride.

"I suppose so. I didn't know what to make of it at first, but then I realized, it could be a purrrrfect opportunity..."

"Opportunity for what?"

Felix grinned from ear to ear, which was rather unnerving for a cat to do.

"All will fall into place soon, my child. Everything is running smoothly. I do want to ask about you though, and your father. He might be worried that his poor child is lost and alone. Don't you miss him? Are you not shaken to your very core, wondering what has become of him?!" he asked with a greatly exaggerated tone.

"N-No, of course not!" I yelled while putting my hands on his desk table. "I don't miss him one bit!"

I didn't think he would even miss me in the first place...

"I see, I see..." he muttered. "Well, that's all good then. But just in case, we need to keep the fact that you're Miles Way a secret."

"But our identities are already kept hidden, right? To keep ourselves protected and whatever?"

"Yes, but your classmates still know who you are. They'll have to see you as someone else..."

There was a moment of silence.

"...Ugh, the Gatekeeper was supposed to show up right as I said that sentence. It was for dramatic effect," he sighed.

The large Grim Reaper-esque figure emerged from the front door, which was a rather unspectacular entrance for a mystical being such as himself.

"I forgot my lines."

"That's the fourth time this week!" Felix snapped.

"Oh, sorry. Maybe if you paid me more than minimum wage, I'd give a damn."

He gave me a necklace with a cool-looking crystal pendant on it.

"That is one of our more recent experiments. With this baby, you'll still keep your costume perfectly in-tact, but when you're in civilian form, you won't be Miles Way anymore."

"Ahhh, that's so cool!" I replied, thinking of what kind of new person I would be. "A-Am I a swashbuckling pirate? A warrior from another world?!"

Felix laughed.

"Please, we don't have the budget or the science for that! We needed to create a persona with the same height, same body type...and someone completely boring and uninteresting. Your new name will be Norman Ward, and you'll like this!"

The Gatekeeper grumbled as he turned on the monitor, showing my new face. I now had black short hair, eyes of the same colour, and a slightly different face. The freckles I had before were also gone. It was weird, I looked so...normal.

"So...that's how everyone will see me if I take off my costume?"

"That's right! But you gotta keep the necklace on at all times. And you can't show or tell the truth to anyone, or the "magic" won't work!"

"I see...ok then," was all I could say.

I didn't really like it, but if it would help the academy, I guess I had no choice. There was no way I wanted to get Felix or anyone else here to get in trouble.

For some reason, I started thinking about Ursa...but once I took the necklace, those thoughts left my mind.

...

word count:

11670 words